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Juliebove

Getting Frustrated With Daughter!

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Mercola? Ha! He has so many lies on his site it isn't funny. Don't know about your other links. They don't look to be what I would consider legit. As in true medical sites.

Have to say, I agree with this. I've looked up a couple of his sources and they do not support the claims citing them.


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

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Have to say, I agree with this. I've looked up a couple of his sources and they do not support the claims citing them.

OK. That's fine. It doesn't all hinge on mercola, not by a long shot. Like I said, there are a ton of articles to choose from. And, the YouTube video is a news report, from an actual reporter of an actual television station, who interviewed actual scientists and experts. The other sites detail bunches of documents, scientific studies done by credible researchers and medical doctors, etc. Plus, with the myriad reports of side effects filed with the FDA, it's a bit hard to dismiss it all. Following the links, you'll see plenty of what you'd call legitimate documented proof, such as the one from Ralph G. Walton, M.D., Chairman, The Center for Behavioral Medicine. Or, the PDF document, from Cesare Maltoni Cancer Research Center, European Ramazzini Foundation of Oncology and Environmental Sciences, Bologna, Italy, on a government website no less. There's plenty more, but you have to actually look in order to see.

Don't know about your other links. They don't look to be what I would consider legit.
Then you didn't even look? In that case, I suppose your position is understandable. Maintain a blind eye if you wish...

Anyway, the entire point of all this about sweeteners brings us back to the topic at hand. Namely, your daughter's eating habits. You say you don't make desserts, and that's fine for you. But, your daughter continually sees other kids enjoying treats of all types. We all know how kids want what they see other kids have. Add to this her already restricted diet, and you can bet she feels left out. You said in your first post "She will grab a box of cereal and start wolfing it. She does know about nutrition.".

So, it sounds to me like she may just want to feel included. She's a kid, after all. There is also the usual rebellion that kids tend to go through, as they mature. You know your daughter best, but sometimes it's difficult to take enough steps back to see the big picture. It would seem that this is one reason why you are asking for opinions. Sometimes, the perspective of a third party can be of value.

There wasn't any sweets in the house when I was growing up either. No soda, no cookies, no cake, no sugar coated cereals. I've actually never tasted coco puffs, cool-aid, coke or pepsi. Sure, there were a few very rare occasions when there'd be some treat, but immediately afterward, it was time to get out the tooth brush. Looking back, it wasn't so bad, but at the time it didn't seem fair to me at all. I saw kids at school with ice cream every day, and no matter how much I begged to be allowed to get an ice cream sandwich from the school cafeteria, the answer was a big fat NO. I understood the reasoning, but that didn't stop me from wanting to include myself in what other kids seemed to be enjoying.

You said "I'm the type of person who will eat the same thing for weeks, months even years on end day after day and want nothing else.". It doesn't look to me like your daughter feels the same way about food. You also said "I have taken her to the grocery store many times and told her to pick out what she wants to eat for the week. She can tell me a million things she doesn't want, but it's rare for her to tell me something she does want. Once we got little packs of apples and grapes. She loved those. Never seen them since. And she won't eat them if I mix them together at home.". I guess it's the novelty thing. Foods always seem to taste better at a restaurant, a relative's house, etc, even when it's the same as the food at home.

Again, it's how she may be viewing it, not how it actually is, which has influence on her behavior. Your meals may taste wonderful, but that's not necessarily what she is looking for. It may simply be that it's not novel enough, and perhaps in her eyes, your meals aren't novel. Not because of the ingredients, but because their yours. Perhaps that's why she likes the Mexican restaurant, but only up to when it starts to become familiar.

Try to understand it from her prospective. You did say "For a while she was interested in reading my cookbooks and finding some new recipes to try. But that was short lived.". Here again, it would appear that novelty was the key. The tricky part is figuring out just how to keep it new and interesting. This is why I suggested some healthy treats, as she'd be able to enjoy some of the things she usually doesn't get. It could add variety without messing up the diet. But for any meal, if she can pick the recipes, and be "the head chef", it might just help. At least that way, the meal wouldn't be yours.

Your daughter may not actually know what she wants. She might just want something that is altogether different, and not what has been specifically tailored to fit her diet. It can still be within her restrictions, but when it's purposely made for her, then it suddenly becomes boring. Do you know what I mean? Like the circus act without the net, otherwise why bother, when there's no thrill involved? So it's like anything placed in the safe zone is automatically boring. But the restaurant's recipes weren't designed for her, so it's like "normal food". See?

Could it help if she picked out her own recipe book? I'm guessing it'd be better if it was not designed for a specific diet. She'll just have to do her best to substitute. This way it would be "normal food", or as close to it as she can get. Notice I said She'll just have to substitute. That way it's all hers. She would have as much control over it as she can get. I don't doubt she'd ask you for help, at some point. But perhaps flying without a net will give her some feeling of control.


A spherical meteorite 10 km in diameter traveling at 20 km/s has the kinetic energy equal to the calories in 550,000,000,000,000,000 Twinkies.

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She gets Enjoy Life cookies and chocolate bars. She gets some kinds of candy. Given her allergies, there isn't a lot of that stuff she can eat. Most candy is cross contaminated with peanuts or other nuts. Just because I don't make sweets doesn't mean she doesn't get them. She gets something in her lunch every day.

And no, I'm not going to look at your links because they do not look like legit sources to me. I spend a lot of time on medical sites and those are not medical sites, save for Mercola and I don't consider him to be legit.

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She gets Enjoy Life cookies and chocolate bars. She gets some kinds of candy. Given her allergies, there isn't a lot of that stuff she can eat. Most candy is cross contaminated with peanuts or other nuts. Just because I don't make sweets doesn't mean she doesn't get them. She gets something in her lunch every day.

That's exactly the point I was making. Enjoy Life products are allergy friendly. They aren't what a kid would call "normal". And it sounds to me that this is part of her frustration. Sure, she has allergies, and as you say, many types of candy bars are not safe for her. But, I'm not just referring to chocolate bars, or prepackaged cookies, etc in her lunch. I'm mostly referring to a greater variety at home. And more so, that it might help if she prepared some of the meals. At least that way it would give her a greater sense of control.

For example, is she allergic to pumpkin? In not, then why not a homemade pumpkin pie? How about an apple pie? These can be made very healthily, yet still be a "treat". Pumpkin is, after all, just a type of squash. Carrot pie is another good one. What kid wouldn't like a piece of pie in their lunch box? No, I don't mean all the time. But this is just one of many ways to keep foods exciting, and hopefully, more like what she'd like.

How about homemade pot pies? You could even use those little individual tart pans. This is essentially just a thick stew in a pie crust. Yet, it is different than having a stew. I remember how much I looked forward to those, even though I didn't exactly appreciate stew itself.

I believe I've heard people in the restaurant business say; "Presentation is everything".

And no, I'm not going to look at your links because they do not look like legit sources to me. I spend a lot of time on medical sites and those are not medical sites, save for Mercola and I don't consider him to be legit.

So, the official site for the National Institutes of Heath is not a legit site?


A spherical meteorite 10 km in diameter traveling at 20 km/s has the kinetic energy equal to the calories in 550,000,000,000,000,000 Twinkies.

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Sorry you are having such a tough time with your daughter.....I know my 4 kids go through phases when it comes to eating. One day they love something, the next time I fix it, they are repulsed, lol. I have also found with this diet, that is very easy to get stuck in a cooking rut. We are dairy free too, so that's an added challenge that isn't always easy, especially with my oldest who is almost 10. I am realizing that at this age, it is very important to fit in with other kids as much as possible. Any noticable deviation from the norm is a HUGE deal, and I imagine it is ten times worse for girls than boys.

One of my big worries with the kids (girls especially) is that they'll end up feeling controlled by their diet. I fear this could lead to eating disorders, or other emotional issues. So, one thing I try to do is to put the kids in control as much as I possibly can. I don't know if this will work, but it has at least kept my oldest son from ever cheating on the diet, lol. Some things we do.....I let them pick a meal out of my cookbooks that they want to fix. We shop for the ingredients together, and I let them do as much as they can by themselves. We'll invite family over too, and the kids will be a part of the meal from beginning to end. This can be a pain, and it drives me crazy at times, but I think the kids really get alot out of it.

I'm also big into how the kids lunches actually look.....whether it's a cool new lunchbox, fun napkin, cute containers, etc. This seems to help break up the monotany of bringing a lunch to school each day when every other kid buys their lunch. Maybe something like that would help?

And if your hubby would be more positive when it came to what you fixed, that would probably help you out more too. I get so mad at my husband if he says anything negative about what I cook....b/c it's all downhill from there. That's all the kids have to hear, next thing I know, they are all refusing dinner, lol. Hope things pick up for you soon, and good luck.


Tamara, mom to 4 gluten & casein free kiddos!

Age 11 - Psoriasis

Age 8- dx'd Celiac March 2005

Age 6- gluten-free/cf, allergy related seizures

Age 4 - reflux, resolved with gluten-free/cf

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That's exactly the point I was making. Enjoy Life products are allergy friendly. They aren't what a kid would call "normal". And it sounds to me that this is part of her frustration. Sure, she has allergies, and as you say, many types of candy bars are not safe for her. But, I'm not just referring to chocolate bars, or prepackaged cookies, etc in her lunch. I'm mostly referring to a greater variety at home. And more so, that it might help if she prepared some of the meals. At least that way it would give her a greater sense of control.

For example, is she allergic to pumpkin? In not, then why not a homemade pumpkin pie? How about an apple pie? These can be made very healthily, yet still be a "treat". Pumpkin is, after all, just a type of squash. Carrot pie is another good one. What kid wouldn't like a piece of pie in their lunch box? No, I don't mean all the time. But this is just one of many ways to keep foods exciting, and hopefully, more like what she'd like.

How about homemade pot pies? You could even use those little individual tart pans. This is essentially just a thick stew in a pie crust. Yet, it is different than having a stew. I remember how much I looked forward to those, even though I didn't exactly appreciate stew itself.

I believe I've heard people in the restaurant business say; "Presentation is everything".

So, the official site for the National Institutes of Heath is not a legit site?

She's not allergic to pumpkin, but she doesn't like it. Nor does she like pie. Why is it necessary to have sweets at home? I fail to see that.

As for cooking, she doesn't like to do it and gets angry with me if I suggest that she try to cook something or even help. She is no longer interested in cookbooks.

And presentation isn't everything. Both she and my husband get annoyed if I try to "arrange" the food on their plates or put a garnish on there. They want the food plain.

As for pot pies, nobody here will eat them. I can not come up with a crust that works, given our allergies either. And even before the allergies, nobody would eat them.

My mom tells me I was exactly the same at her age. Nothing would please me no matter what. I think it's the age.

I don't know about the National Institutes for Health. Okay, I just looked there. Did a search for Aspartame and read the first article. According to that it does not cause problems.

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Sorry you are having such a tough time with your daughter.....I know my 4 kids go through phases when it comes to eating. One day they love something, the next time I fix it, they are repulsed, lol. I have also found with this diet, that is very easy to get stuck in a cooking rut. We are dairy free too, so that's an added challenge that isn't always easy, especially with my oldest who is almost 10. I am realizing that at this age, it is very important to fit in with other kids as much as possible. Any noticable deviation from the norm is a HUGE deal, and I imagine it is ten times worse for girls than boys.

One of my big worries with the kids (girls especially) is that they'll end up feeling controlled by their diet. I fear this could lead to eating disorders, or other emotional issues. So, one thing I try to do is to put the kids in control as much as I possibly can. I don't know if this will work, but it has at least kept my oldest son from ever cheating on the diet, lol. Some things we do.....I let them pick a meal out of my cookbooks that they want to fix. We shop for the ingredients together, and I let them do as much as they can by themselves. We'll invite family over too, and the kids will be a part of the meal from beginning to end. This can be a pain, and it drives me crazy at times, but I think the kids really get alot out of it.

I'm also big into how the kids lunches actually look.....whether it's a cool new lunchbox, fun napkin, cute containers, etc. This seems to help break up the monotany of bringing a lunch to school each day when every other kid buys their lunch. Maybe something like that would help?

And if your hubby would be more positive when it came to what you fixed, that would probably help you out more too. I get so mad at my husband if he says anything negative about what I cook....b/c it's all downhill from there. That's all the kids have to hear, next thing I know, they are all refusing dinner, lol. Hope things pick up for you soon, and good luck.

I don't personally feel the need to fit in or have my food look like everyone else's. I always wanted to be differerent. But apparently it is important for her.

In past years, I tried to send in a sandwich no more than once or twice a week because the bread was so expensive. But this year all the wanted was sandwiches. So I ordered lots of bread and now she says she is sick of sandwiches. Even with the sandwiches I am limited as to what I put on them because she finds most of the sandwich fillings to be disgusting. She will eat turkey, bologna, and sometimes roast beef or chicken. No more ham or tuna.

She does want to eat dairy every day and that's a problem because she just can't have it. I am hoping my health food store will get more coconut yogurt in. They have been out for a long time. That will be another option.

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I think making sweets at home is part of the fun of being a kid, in my opinion.

Not to get snippy, but it seems as if you really didn't want any help after all. Sorry to have tried.


Tamara, mom to 4 gluten & casein free kiddos!

Age 11 - Psoriasis

Age 8- dx'd Celiac March 2005

Age 6- gluten-free/cf, allergy related seizures

Age 4 - reflux, resolved with gluten-free/cf

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My mom tells me I was exactly the same at her age. Nothing would please me no matter what. I think it's the age.

Does your mom remember anything that helped? Or, at least, how much longer until she grows out of it?


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

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Does your mom remember anything that helped? Or, at least, how much longer until she grows out of it?

She said nothing helps and hopefully she'll outgrow it in a year. We've determined that her new word is "disgusting". Pretty much everything is disgusting.

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She said nothing helps and hopefully she'll outgrow it in a year. We've determined that her new word is "disgusting". Pretty much everything is disgusting.

:lol: :lol: Maybe you can tell her that she has to eat it unless she can come up with a different word or phrase for 'disgusting' every time. At least her vocabulary will improve. :P


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

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:lol: :lol: Maybe you can tell her that she has to eat it unless she can come up with a different word or phrase for 'disgusting' every time. At least her vocabulary will improve. :P

That's a good idea! Last night she said the Spanish Rice was disgusting before she even tried it. I must say I got some new Mexican Hot chili powder and I did use that once and the dish was too hot for either of us. So maybe she was afraid it would be like that again. I used the regular chili powder last night and only a tiny amount so it wasn't too hot.

I only gave her a small amount, fearing she would throw it out, but she went back for seconds and ate a lot of it.

I think part of the appeal with her is making a big scene and getting all of the attention focused on her.

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:lol: :lol: Maybe you can tell her that she has to eat it unless she can come up with a different word or phrase for 'disgusting' every time. At least her vocabulary will improve. :P

:lol: :lol:

I remember what it's like at that age. I really didn't like much of what was prepared, but, it was mostly patterned after foods in other parts of the world. And, everything had to be burnt on the bottom, and raw in the middle. :rolleyes:

Incidentally, when I use the word "treat", I don't really mean something sweet. I mean something atypical. The example of the pot pies came to mind because we rarely had them. I think that was one reason I looked forward to it so much. It was different. Plus it was a prepackaged item, which was also rare. It was almost as good as going to a restaurant.

One sure way to get a kid interested in something, is to have it for yourself, and tell them it's all yours, and they are not to touch it. This makes them feel immediately left out and jealous. You've stated you avoid sugar, but maybe you can use your husbands taste buds to your advantage. Suppose you whip up a yummy, creamy strawberry vanilla (or whatever flavor he likes) shake for him? I mean out of the blue - spontaneously. Surprise him, while your daughter is hanging around. I cannot for the life of me think she won't want one. At that point you'll have her attention. She'll be interested in something. Plus, it is something she can easily make for herself. In addition, you've stated she'd like dairy more often, so here's a chance to accomplish two things at the same time. It doesn't have to be dairy, but the taste will be there. You can either make or buy rice milk, and the shake will taste great. Even better, make the one for your husband with rice milk, and tell him only after he's guzzled it down. Your daughter will be more open to the rice milk once she sees how he liked it, and didn't know it wasn't dairy. Banana also helps make a good shake, and it adds a natural sweetness, if that helps you.

What this can do is open your daughter's eyes to possibilities with foods, and show her how it can be fun to make things for herself. She may then want to try new flavors, and experiment with other things as ideas come about. Note, that I am NOT suggesting that shakes are a perfect food, nor am I suggesting that she should have them all the time. This is just a stepping stone. A bridge to get her out of the food rut which she seems to be in. Hopefully, by the time the novelty wears off, she'll have adopted a better attitude towards food, and be out of the rut.

Another idea, is to make such a shake, and put it in her lunch box without telling her. Just think of the surprise it would be for her. She won't know it's not dairy if you don't tell her. And, after a few such surprises, how much you wanna bet she becomes more interested in your meals? I'm guessing she doesn't think of her mom as a cool person right now, but you might warm her up a bit this way. You know that old saying; "You attract more bees with honey".

Sweetened foods may or may not be necessary, but it helps break the monotony. Imagine if every dish had the same spices, or no spices. That's monotony, and is a big reason why a route to the east was so important to Europe, that they'd risk their lives to get there. They wanted spices - desperately. Since you said you don't make sweets, that means it would be a change of pace if you did. That is why I mentioned sweets. Variety is the spice of life. Even the best food gets boring when it's the norm.

Rice milk recipes are all over the place, but if you want my recommendations, just ask. It's easy and quick to do. It also doesn't have to be rice at all. There are a bunch of options. A banana alone can make a great shake, when you employ a few simple techniques.

On the coconut yogurt, would you believe you can make your own? It's a lot like making a shake, only thicker. But, I'd try the shake idea first, so she'll be more likely to want a homemade yogurt. She needs to shift her attitude a bit, so she won't be saying everything is disgusting, even before trying it.

She's not allergic to pumpkin, but she doesn't like it. Nor does she like pie. Why is it necessary to have sweets at home? I fail to see that.
Pumpkin is great for far more than that holiday favorite. Has she ever had pumpkin pudding? There's another thread with the suggestion of using pumpkin in place of tomato sauce for lasagna. It's just another food for the arsenal. You daughter thinks differently than you, and though "sweets", in the modern sense, aren't necessary, it's a tool you can use to pull your daughter out of the food rut. At her age, my dinner always went down easier when there was some sort of special treat afterward. Especially since I knew I wasn't going to get any if I didn't clear my plate. Again, I'm not suggesting some sugar-filled thing. Just something special, not every single night, but fruity or on the sweet side works best. I think it compliments the meal. It provides flavor contrast.

Are you actually declaring that your daughter doesn't like ANY type of pie at all?? Apple? Blueberry? Cherry? Peach? Chocolate? Coconut Custard? Banana Cream?

I don't know about the National Institutes for Health. Okay, I just looked there. Did a search for Aspartame and read the first article. According to that it does not cause problems.
Can you please post a link to it? Here's a link to the article I made reference to earlier: http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/members/2005/8711/8711.pdf

A spherical meteorite 10 km in diameter traveling at 20 km/s has the kinetic energy equal to the calories in 550,000,000,000,000,000 Twinkies.

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She gets a smoothie once a week from Jamba Juice and we used to make them with rice milk, strawberries and sorbet but she got sick of them. She likes milkshakes from certain restaurants but can't have them often. She would not want anything I made for my husband. Nothing at all. They don't get along.

As for the pumpkin, she hates it in any form. I can remember when she thought it was inedible. This was before we knew of her food allergies. I bought her all sorts of things made of pumpkin. She said they were all disgusting.

Then she asked for some canned pumpkin. I made a recipe I got here using blonde brownies and canned pumpkin. Nobody really liked it too much but she really hated it.

As for restaurants, for the most part she hates going to them. She prefers to eat at home. When I was growing up, we dined out a lot so I was used to it. In past years she has had to dine out more often than she has this year due to the way her dance classes were scheduled.

This year we dine out at least once a week. We don't necessarily have to do it on Mondays, but... The problem is, she wants to eat immediately after dance. So it's either go out, or some home and try to get something fixed fast enough to suit her. It's never fast enough. Twice a week I try to have something ready in the crock pot because she has back to back classes and she gets out late. But so far she has not liked anything I made in the crock pot.

Tonight I am doing hot dogs. She'll probably complain about that. I don't know why. She just will. The hot dogs create a problem for me because I hate them and won't eat them. So I'll have to find something else to eat.

I used to make pot pies before we knew of the allergies. She would eat only the top part and declare the rest to be disgusting. Now they're not really an option even if she and my husband would eat them. I just haven't got the time to make them. The only day I am home to cook is some Fridays. Because of the dance, Fridays are the only day we have to schedule other appointments so often we are not even home then. Sometimes I am home on a Sunday but I never know if she will be here to eat or not. Her dad often takes her and her friends out on Sunday and sometimes he will either take them out to eat or bring her home really late and expect immediate food.

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As for the coconut yogurt, I would have no clue how to make it and I doubt she would eat it if I did. She has this fascination with individually packaged things. Anything that comes packaged single serve is of great interest to her. She will even try things she formerly said she didn't like if I can get them in a little package. So much of what she does eat, comes that way.

For a while we could get lunch meat in single serve packages. She just loved that and making lunch was easy when we had those. But then they either discontinued them or all the stores around here quit selling them.

I guess I will keep looking for things that are packaged this way.

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I really have to applaud you for your efforts to make some ungrateful people happy....(I know they're your family, but......geez) I have no advice for you......I don't know if there even is an answer.

I would seriously be tempted to leave for a week and make them fend for themselves :P.....you need a vacation ;)


~~Lisa~~

"The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it."--Moliere

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."--Douglas Adams

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!--Amanda

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gluten-free since 1/08

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I really have to applaud you for your efforts to make some ungrateful people happy....(I know they're your family, but......geez) I have no advice for you......I don't know if there even is an answer.

I would seriously be tempted to leave for a week and make them fend for themselves :P.....you need a vacation ;)

Tonight's meal was hot dogs on Ener-G Tapioca buns and canned green beans. She liked it. I will make it again next week.

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Do you think having your child help prepare meals helps? My newly-diagnosed 5-yr.-old loves helping cook. She gets so caught up in the mixing and measuring, and we talk about what parts of our body the foods and vitamins help. I'm hoping that these preparations now may help, but who's to know what each child will go through! She still loves "junk" as she calls it!


Life-long symptoms- difficulty gaining weight, fatigue, constipation, large stool, gas, dry skin, sinus allergies. Doctors recommended eating larger portions. Symptoms worsened.

Symptoms lasted three months before going gluten-free- weight loss, D, extreme irritability, skin problems.

11/06 Positive bloodwork.

12/06 Started gluten-free diet.

1/07 Canceled biopsy (symptoms were gone and I was finally gaining weight- 10 pounds in six weeks).

9/07 I've gained 20 pounds. Yeah!

9/08 Youngest daughter diagnosed with Celiac Disease. (D eliminated, behavior improved, schoolwork improved.)

11/08 Two years gluten-free!

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Do you think having your child help prepare meals helps? My newly-diagnosed 5-yr.-old loves helping cook. She gets so caught up in the mixing and measuring, and we talk about what parts of our body the foods and vitamins help. I'm hoping that these preparations now may help, but who's to know what each child will go through! She still loves "junk" as she calls it!

She's 10 now and thinks I'm being mean when I ask her to help. She would do it when she was younger. But not now.

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She is 10 going on 11 if that matters.

Oh, I think it matters. This is so painfully familiar. The extreme pickiness, constant complaints and rejection of all foods, junk food obsession, sulking.... I'm really heartened by the person who said the teenage years are easier because I was thinking the tween thing was just the beginning of a rollercoaster ride that could only get worse.

I don't have much advice but I can say hold on tight, because my daughter just turned 12 (yesterday!) and it is definitely better about food now. A lot better. The things I did: gave up catering to her tastes beyond avoiding things she'd always disliked, because I realized the problem wasn't really that she was picky about food, it was that she wanted to assert herself, was dissatisfied with aspects of her life (growing pains) and chafing against it. I started talking to her a lot about feelings, about how they can get twisted sideways so that you end up expressing loneliness or anger through food (or through hitting your brother, a problem that arose at the same time). I also talked to her about hormones and how they affect feelings. I started trying harder to find areas where she could have a little more control or freedom in her life.

Good luck. By the way my daughter has no food restrictions but during this period she was far harder to feed than my son, who has celiac and multiple food allergies.

Alex

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Oh, I think it matters. This is so painfully familiar. The extreme pickiness, constant complaints and rejection of all foods, junk food obsession, sulking.... I'm really heartened by the person who said the teenage years are easier because I was thinking the tween thing was just the beginning of a rollercoaster ride that could only get worse.

I don't have much advice but I can say hold on tight, because my daughter just turned 12 (yesterday!) and it is definitely better about food now. A lot better. The things I did: gave up catering to her tastes beyond avoiding things she'd always disliked, because I realized the problem wasn't really that she was picky about food, it was that she wanted to assert herself, was dissatisfied with aspects of her life (growing pains) and chafing against it. I started talking to her a lot about feelings, about how they can get twisted sideways so that you end up expressing loneliness or anger through food (or through hitting your brother, a problem that arose at the same time). I also talked to her about hormones and how they affect feelings. I started trying harder to find areas where she could have a little more control or freedom in her life.

Good luck. By the way my daughter has no food restrictions but during this period she was far harder to feed than my son, who has celiac and multiple food allergies.

Alex

Thanks! At least I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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She gets a smoothie once a week from Jamba Juice and we used to make them with rice milk, strawberries and sorbet but she got sick of them. She likes milkshakes from certain restaurants but can't have them often.
I see. Did she try different ways to make it, or just strawberries and sorbet? How long ago was it when she liked them?

She would not want anything I made for my husband. Nothing at all. They don't get along.
You mean she won't even feel the least bit left out? I mean, not that she'd necessarily want the exact same thing, but are you saying she wouldn't care that she doesn't get anything, and wasn't asked?

As for the coconut yogurt, I would have no clue how to make it and I doubt she would eat it if I did.
Wouldn't it be worth a try? I was always told "How do you know you won't like it unless you try it?" Can you be so sure she won't like it, as to not even bother? I've made non-dairy yogurt, and it's easy. It doesn't need the cultures to have the right texture and taste, so it only takes minutes to make.

She has this fascination with individually packaged things. Anything that comes packaged single serve is of great interest to her. She will even try things she formerly said she didn't like if I can get them in a little package. So much of what she does eat, comes that way.
So again, the impression I get is that it's not just the food, but the package, or presentation, or perhaps the novelty. Like those little cups are sorta personalized or something. They're cute. Maybe a combination of those. What would happen if you took the empty container from something she likes, and filled it with a homemade version? If you think she'd turn it down (and my guess is she would), then it would confirm something I mentioned earlier. If you took some little individual package of something she likes, and emptied it into a bowl or whatever, it would not surprise me if she'd turn that down too.

I guess it's kinda similar to why kids like tiny toys. Those little figurines and such.

I'd be inclined to try putting homemade things into little cups of some sort, with lids, and put them into the fridge for her. But I wouldn't necessarily tell her "those are yours". Rather, just place them in the fridge so that they are in plain view, and see if they catch her eye. My hunch is that she'd only like them if it's her own decision to try them. Suggesting it makes it like your idea instead of hers, and all bets are off. Probably a long shot, but I'm about out of ideas. Kids her age have a tough time adjusting to all the changes and emotions, etc, as Alex J mentioned.

I don't know what else to suggest. It does seem like a phase that she'll outgrow though. But I will say, tactfulness goes a long way. Figuring out just what to say, when to say it, and how to say it, can make all the difference. Like coaxing a pet into the bath water - you try to make it jump in on it's own, by smiling and using a friendly voice. Side Note: Ever notice the tendency to talk to pets about two octaves higher than normal?


A spherical meteorite 10 km in diameter traveling at 20 km/s has the kinetic energy equal to the calories in 550,000,000,000,000,000 Twinkies.

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I don't have much advice but I can say hold on tight, because my daughter just turned 12 (yesterday!) and it is definitely better about food now. A lot better. The things I did: gave up catering to her tastes beyond avoiding things she'd always disliked, because I realized the problem wasn't really that she was picky about food, it was that she wanted to assert herself, was dissatisfied with aspects of her life (growing pains) and chafing against it. I started talking to her a lot about feelings, about how they can get twisted sideways so that you end up expressing loneliness or anger through food (or through hitting your brother, a problem that arose at the same time). I also talked to her about hormones and how they affect feelings. I started trying harder to find areas where she could have a little more control or freedom in her life.
This is good advice. All too often these days, families don't really talk like they should. Dinner time use to be a time to talk, but these days, nobody seems to have the time.

A spherical meteorite 10 km in diameter traveling at 20 km/s has the kinetic energy equal to the calories in 550,000,000,000,000,000 Twinkies.

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my mom says i went through a phase sort of like this...all i wanted to eat for dinner was bologna...every single night for like months. so she just let me. and after a few months the phase ended. i bet your daughter is just in a phase too.

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I'm jumping back to the vitamins, and sorry if I'm misunderstanding, but you said that the Doctor told you she'd outgrown the children's vitamins and she refuses to take a swallow-able? I think that's how I read it. I do know that the 1 a day people make a chewable adult vitamin, and they state that they add no gluten to their products. Also, I took that box, and compared it to a children's multi, and there were very few differences, mostly the iron was higher in the children's which women need anyways due to women usually having lower iron levels. Dh eats little red meat, so I got him the flintstone type vitamins, since he was gagging on the swallow-able tablets. He takes one a day.

Also, as a non-celiac child, my choices were dinner or bread and butter. Take it or leave it and go hungry. I know butter is out, but there's got to be some sort of spread to put on gluten-free bread and that should be the only thing available other than dinner. Flat out refuse to let her pig out on junk food, keep gluteny stuff for dh that dd can't eat if it comes down to it, or get it all out of the house, as no one needs junk food. If she doesn't like your meals, she can cook for herself/go hungry. Same with your box lunches. She knows that the foods will make her sick, and she has limits, and as this is a recent rebellion, she knows how often she can/can't eat certain foods, so put it in her control. I know that mom's icky food sure tasted great after I'd been cooking for myself for 6 months after moving out. When I tried that phase with my mother as a teen, she put me in charge of the household meals for a week, no whining allowed, you don't like what I cook, fine you're the cook now.

I know you're catering to her foods issues because you love her, but she's seeing it as you controlling her, so cut the strings, she's grown up enough to not like what you're making, she can cook for herself.


"When I'm worried and I can't sleep/I count my blessings instead of sheep/And I fall asleep counting my blessings"- Bing Crosby, White Christmas

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