How Do You Deal With Having Guests?

[nw0528]

We are in the process of reorganizing our kitchen so I have my gluten-free pots/pans, containers, colander, cutting board, etc. in one area, along with some countertop that is gluten-free. I went through the fridge and labelled things GLUTEN or gluten-free. In our pantry I made one shelf GLUTEN items (cheerios, chips, goldfish, crackers, loaf of bread) that my husband and son eat. The rest is gluten-free. I'm feeling paranoid, but knowing I cannot be too careful.

Okay, so in April my in-laws will be coming for two weeks and then again for a month in July. When they come they tend to spread out their things all over my kitchen counter (I do have a large area of counter space and we keep fresh fruits there and used to keep breads too.) When they visit they tend to go to Costco and buy cookies, breads, etc. in bulk and it ends up on my counter. Anyhow, I know I will FREAK out! They are Chinese and have limited English. They are going to have difficulty understanding that this is not just an "allergy" or me not liking something. Also they bring tons of Chinese pastries (which do have wheat flour). I don't want to be rude to them but I am feeling like their items will need to be "contained" within one area (maybe I can clear off another shelf in the pantry for their items). It's not like I'm going to be eating their items, and I'll make it clear anything they use needs to go in the dishwasher and my pots/pans/colander/etc. will be in a specific cabinet that they would not be using, so maybe I'm being paranoid and worrying about nothing. Do I need to worry about crumbs (cookies, crackers, bread) on my counters, or getting on my stuff somehow? Or, do I just need to relax? I don't want to be paranoid, but I'm a little worried.

Thanks!

Nicole

[tarnalberry]

My house, my rules.

I'm nice about saying it, but that's how it goes. It's worked fine for my in-laws, who eat plenty of wheaty stuff.

[kbtoyssni]

My house, my rules.

I'm nice about saying it, but that's how it goes. It's worked fine for my in-laws, who eat plenty of wheaty stuff.

Pretty much my strategy, too. I don't allow gluten in my house. If you don't like it, you can stay in a hotel. It's my life and my health, and I need to feel comfortable and safe in my own home. With the limited English, maybe your husband needs to talk to them before they come for you.

[Takala]

My house, my rules, too.

I suggest you find a gluten free bakery or start experimenting now with baking, (there's a lot of good pre mixes if you're not into it ) if anyone has to eat cake together.

The language barrier is no excuse. Somebody (dear spouse) has to explain it to them that all wheat products make you very sick. This does not mean you don't want to be social, you want to enjoy their company, so the wheat stuff gets corraled. Altho I am finding it sort of amusing that your gluten invasion is being carried out by in laws that come from a traditionally rice and vegetable based cuisine.

[flourgirl]

Pretty much the same here. Any meals prepared to share here ARE Gluten Free. My hubby is a gluten eater....but his stuff is prepared away from the area I use. Family understand to a point. They don't have to understand, but they do have to respect me.

I also agree that your hubby should be the one to explain. They don't really have to "get it", but they need to understand about "your space" and about all food rules. I would expect him to help reinforce the rules as many times as necessary. Maybe it all sounds kind of harsh...but it is your health and lie quality. Good luck with the visit! Hopefully you can just relax and enjoy them

[rinne]

Me too. My house, my rules. My husband eats gluten elsewhere, my kitchen is gluten free and it is the only way I would have it.

As for visitors staying, our house is very tiny and I find one night is my limit. I am impressed that you can have guests for a month. I am thinking your house must be big.

[nw0528]

Thank you for all your replies. I just needed to be reassured that the way I am feeling is not totally out of paranoia. The last thing I need when my in-laws are here for two weeks is to be glutened!! I'd like to visit with them - not spend the time in the bathroom!

Nicole

Me too. My house, my rules. My husband eats gluten elsewhere, my kitchen is gluten free and it is the only way I would have it.

As for visitors staying, our house is very tiny and I find one night is my limit. I am impressed that you can have guests for a month. I am thinking your house must be big.

[nw0528]

It is true that being from southern China/Hong Kong, their cuisine is more rice based than Northern China where there would be more wheat, but they do use wheat flour a lot in thickening sauces, and baking.

Their culture revolves around FOOD. They are very traditional. When they visit us they don't ask "How are you?" Instead they ask, "What have you eaten today?"

Luckily I just remembered they have a distant relative whose child has a peanut allergy and last time they were here they were telling me how scary it is and how peanuts are in everything it seems. I can use that as a similar situation to gluten intolerance, but then explain how permanent damage is done to the small intestine when it is consumed by accident (not to mention landing me in the bathroom for hours!)

Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions. I appreciate it!

Nicole

My house, my rules, too.

Altho I am finding it sort of amusing that your gluten invasion is being carried out by in laws that come from a traditionally rice and vegetable based cuisine.

[Darn210]

I "make announcements" . . . whether it's my house or family's or friends' . . . I will say that in general, they are a pretty easy going crowd and don't get their feathers ruffled easily. I tell people up front (in a nonconfrontational way) how the kitchen is laid out and the rules. Then (and I think this is important) I tell them that I will be reminding them often because if you haven't lived with these rules it's easy to forget and slip up . . . hopefully it will head off that "my goodness, what a nag" thinking . . . and then I do . . . whenever any action starts to take place . . . "Don't forget, use those pots over there" . . . "Be sure to check which butter you can use" . . . etc.

I have also announced at Thanksgiving (buffet style) dinner . . . "OK, My daughter is going first because all of you guys are going to switch serving spoons and sprinkle crumbs and I need to get her plate before you ruin it all!!!" In my family, as long as I say it with the right joking (but you know I'm right) attitude, it works well.

[CeliacMom2008]

Just to give you another one - my house, my rules. Gluten free is very yummy and perfectly fine. Spend a couple days baking gluten-free goodies and freezing then they can eat what you eat. People just don't think like we do unless they've had to deal with it. My in-laws know we have a no gluten policy, yet they once handed over a baggie of goldfish to my toddler niece. I was polite, but that baggie would've killed me with my nervousness!!

Good luck!