How Do You Talk To Doctors?

[honeypond]

My son Noah is on a Gluten free/Casein Free Diet and has been for a year, he is doing pretty good with it. But I have yet to get any kind of diagnosis or acknowledgement of this from any doctor.

We just moved and Noah's first Dr. appt. with his new doctor here is next week, and I am a nervous wreck about it. I have all of these things that I want to talk to him about. But my track record with doctors SUCKS!!

All of you that talk about getting your child tested for this or that. Noah with all of his issues physical and otherwise has never been TESTED for anything. I am so jealous of you that are getting a diagnosis from a doctor. I have never had a doctor offer up any kind of proposal for testing. It would be such a novel thing for me to have a doctor that would take the time to try to figure out what is wrong rather than just blow me off and prescribe a stool softener.

How do I go in and explain 4 years of medical history and ask for allergy and celiac testing to this new doctor. I am sooooo nervous, I want this to be a better experience for us. And I really WANT Noah to finally get a diagnosis and CARE from a doctor. I am tired of guessing at what is going on with his body.

I wrote out yesterday exactly what I want to say to the doctor, but when I am in there things always go so differently. HELP, how do you do it??

_________________

[Mtndog]

After having two BAD experiences, I write out a full medical history (of myself) including important events and the dates they occurred/began. I write a list of my current concerns and then follow it with a list of questions I want answered in THAT appointment.

It has helped (I bring a copy for the doc and myself) but I'm SURE there are doctors that would just put it away and not give it a 2nd look

Really- the most important thing is finding a doctor who listens. I'll be totally honest- my best experiences with one exception have been with young female doctors. If this doc doesn't LISTEN then find another. They ARE out there. Really- I finally have a primary, GI and specialists that I adore!

[sbj]

I just want to second that a full medical history is very, very, very important. This means that not only should your child's doctor know your child's complete medical history, he/she should also know the records of mom and dad, siblings, and grandparents. If you don't have one please start preparing it right away - it could literally save your life. If a new doctor doesn't ask for all of this information on your very first visit then you should be very suspicious that he/she is doing a good job.

What I do for myself (no kids) is write everything down that I want to ask my doctor about. I then sit in the exam room, pull out my sheet of paper right in front of him, and methodically go through every single question I have until I get a good response. I take notes so that I remember what he has told me. In your case I think you should expect some skepticism from the doctor about any 'diagnoses' you have come to on your own - I think this is natural. I would stick to an explanation of symptoms only, followed by your thoughts on potential causes. Keep in mind - there may be some things that you are wrong about and this might end up being a great doctor! This should be a partnership with your doctor - not some sort of contest. Good luck.

[kbtoyssni]

I'm self-diagnosed based on positive dietary response (with negative blood test) and I just matter of factly tell them that I have celiac disease. If I had a doctor question me, I'd walk out. I haven't had to walk out yet.

Also, if your son has been gluten-free for a year, celiac tests will be negative. You have to be eating gluten to test positive so you may not want to ask for testing unless it's more follow-up/checking for complications type testing.

[ang1e0251]

I do the same. I walk in with a list of questions and a pen. Even if I think I can remember everything, I pretend I am writing, it keeps the dr on his toes.

If you have a real problem talking firmly to the dr, it can be helpful to take a confidant family member with you. For one thing, they can back you up when you describe things to the dr (a witness) and maybe they can deal with the dr better, if you are so nervous.

Don't get defensive. If the doc feels you are double teaming him, you will definately make him feel trapped. But ask for his help and be logical with him. Remeber that's how docs look at problems, logically, so if they see any hint of emotion they write you off. They want to hear cause and effect; " he had D 10 times a day, when we no longer eating gluten, his stools became normal". Something along those lines. Do not put down your other dr's. He will think you are going to do the same to him and won't want to deal with you. Just say after all these years you feel knowing the cause of the symptoms is important and you feel strongly that testing along these lines is important.

You need to know that he will have to be actively eating gluten for any of the tests to have a chance of being positive. Even then, they might come out negative. Are you prepared to put your son back on gluten for testing? Decide that before you ask the dr to do it.