I'm A Crying Mess

[ksymonds84]

We just took our youngest daughter off to Boulder yesterday to start her first year in college. It's only a two hour drive but I cried the whole way home. I have two older children that live close by that always pops in to do laundry ect but the youngest leaving has hit me so very hard. Any advice from novice empty nesters out there?

[Chuck8268]

  ksymonds84 said:

We just took our youngest daughter off to Boulder yesterday to start her first year in college. It's only a two hour drive but I cried the whole way home. I have two older children that live close by that always pops in to do laundry ect but the youngest leaving has hit me so very hard. Any advice from novice empty nesters out there?

Yes I do kATHY

First,I put 3 thru college,and the biggest thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was

My baby got married,first! Talk about crying your eyes out.All will go well,after the shock,though

Smile

[ang1e0251]

It was hard to leave my daughter. Of course, she couldn't wait for us to get out of there and it was good to have that attitude out of the house. But she really saved the day for me. After about a week she started calling me every day and has continued that. She's 22 now. I never really expected that and it saved my sanity.

I was bustin' my buttons this spring when she graduated and even though she doesn't live close, I feel close with all those phone calls.

[purple]

My youngest dd (18) moved out last night but not to college. It's really hard. My other dd (20) stopped in for 5 minutes today. Both gals live 1 hour away. I know how your heart feels right now.

How funny...I just talked to her for 20 minutes on the phone.

[wschmucks]

I dont have any kids (yet only 25), BUT i do know that whenever I get really sad about a break up or am feeling depressed about where I am in life that it is time to get busy. I know nothing will replace your children living with you but you could maybe focus on other activities like : starting a book club, volunteering once a week, join a new gym etc. I know it sounds dorky but finding a new motivator in life really helps me. Dont be sad-- shes having the time of your life, you just need to find your new role :-)

[ksymonds84]

Thanks everyone for your replies. She called me last night and it was very nice for me to hear about her first day alone. She isn't much of a phone person so I learned months ago how to text message and she sends me plenty of those. It is nice to hear her voice though. We had to let an employee go yesterday, so I am filling in until we find the right person so that will keep me extra busy for the next couple of weeks!

[blueshift]

  ksymonds84 said:

Thanks everyone for your replies. She called me last night and it was very nice for me to hear about her first day alone. She isn't much of a phone person so I learned months ago how to text message and she sends me plenty of those. It is nice to hear her voice though. We had to let an employee go yesterday, so I am filling in until we find the right person so that will keep me extra busy for the next couple of weeks!

You are not alone. I have a cyber friend who had to be put on anti depressants just before her son't graduation. She, like me, has been divorced for many years and raised her son alone and now she is alone, trying to get used to it.

I write poetry that she likes but she has had nothing but trouble responding to me since my writing seems to be too heart felt and only upsets her worse.

My son will never leave me. He is 37 years old and has Asperger's. You might think that I am lucky. I am in one sense that I will never see him leave. But I have a fear of saying good bye when death finally does arrive at my door one day. I will have to say good bye to him and he will be crushed. He won't go on any traveling vacations unless I am with him and he cannot have friendships because it is too difficult for him to manage. He does work and is very ritualistic. He is also very loving.

[ksymonds84]

Blueshift,

What a wondeful friend and mother you are! Your son is so very lucky to have you! I have no doubts that your son will always be taken care of, a caring person will show up in his life when he will need it most. Thanks for the inspiring response.