Super Sensitive And Living In A Mixed Household

[mcc0523]

I got glutened from my dad, who wiped his hands, but did not wash them (or even rinse thoroughly) after eating a doughnut before he reached into a bag of my almonds (that I later ate). I am working on my parents into making at least the kitchen gluten-free, and not physically interacting at all with my mom, as she insists upon wearing Aveno products (and she touched my hand after putting on lotion, and I broke out in a rash only where she touched), and pretty much making my dad scrub for surgery before I'll do so with him. I also reacted BADLY to an apple that was cut with the same knife that had cut sandwiches before hand. Both of these, I didn't find out the source until afterwards.

So, I was wondering if there were other people who were super sensitive who lived in a non gluten-free household. Do you have any further tips to keep me from getting glutened? I have so much anxiety at my own house because, although the wheat bread that is used for sandwiches is made on a plate and not directly on the counter, my parents are very messy and will still leave crumbs. I'm so tired of having to wipe down the whole kitchen before every time I cook something, and I am the only one I trust to do my own dishes, as my mom is terrible about leaving residue on plates. The few times my dad had done them, his picture has been taken.

Am I wrong to want, at the VERY least, to want them to make it a gluten-free kitchen, especially since they have made me sick already? I don't want them to never eat it again (well, I do, because I think they could benefit from going gluten-free), and if they want to bring home glutened take-out, they can eat it in the dining-room. They could also make their sandwiches, and put their glutened crackers in their glutened soups there, too.

[Michelle1234]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. When I first went gluten free we tried a mixed household. It did not work. My husband got crumbs on everything. So we went gluten free in the house for a period of time. He still would bring home takeout and get gluten all over things like the microwave handle or refrigerator handle that I didn't know about. Eventually I banned gluten from the house. Now all is good as he only eats it at work.

Once while we were on vacation he went to a restaurant and ate a meal while I was doing something else. Later on he came back and we kissed hello, a light on the lips kiss. 20 min. later I got sick. I asked him what he ate and 'Oops' it had gluten.

I can only suggest that you set up your own gluten free kitchen in your room since it isn't your house. Get a dorm refrigerator, a microwave and your own set of dishes that you hand wash in your sink. You will have to buy all your own grocery's and not share with your parents. If your old enough consider getting your own place. If not then I think your stuck with having your own simple kitchen.

Almost forgot to mention, you will need your own cooking dishes, cooking appliances etc. We found that anything without a seam could be cleaned adequately. But anything with could not. So serving spoons that were all one formed piece of metal were OK. Those with plastic spoon, metal handle were not. A glass bowl was OK. A metal pan with the handle bolted on was not. We bought a new mixer and blender as I constantly reacted to anything made in our old ones no matter how well we cleaned it.

Good luck!

[dilettantesteph]

We tried for a year to work out a system which would work with a shared household. The celiacs in the family kept getting sick no matter how hard the others tried be careful. Even now, with our gluten free house with two eating gluten out of the house, they sometimes gluten us. We are very sensitive. I was going to suggest the dorm fridge and hot plate too. I hope you can get it to work.

[kareng]

We have a mixed household as I am the only gluten-free person. 2 teen boys and a hub eat gluten. They are careful. There is no sticking hands into a box of Chex or bag of nuts. We pour it out. Better for not spreading germs, too.

I think a shared kitchen could work if your parents wanted it to. Obviously, for some reason they don't. Its thier kitchen so I don't think you should tell them how to live. If you are an adult, you should probably get your own place. Maybe this is the message they are trying to get accross to you?

If you are a minor child, my answer would be different. They owe thier minor child a safe enviroment to live in. This isn't safe. Ignoring a childs medical issues and refusing to treat them would be child abuse or neglect. I would advise you to talk to the school counselor and an adult relative or pastor.

[Jestgar]

I agree with Karen. If you're an adult living in your parents' house, it's not up to you to tell them how to run their kitchen. Put your dishes, silverware, and a pot or two in your room along with all your non-refrigerated food and go with that. If you are paying rent to them and buying your own food, you have a better case for insisting on some basics (like your own cupboard).

[kareng]

I had another thought while I was taking a shower. If you still want to live with them, for whatever reason, this might work. You have to be prepared to follow thru if it doesn't. Make a budget, check out the costs of apartments then, with that info in hand, tell them you are moving into your own place. Give them the objective reasons why - very factual, no blaming, no yelling. Maybe take them with you to look at the apartments you can afford. They may want to keep you at home & change thier habits enough that you could live there safely. If not, be prepared to move.

This happened when I was about your age. I had a little bit of college left and had to get an apartment by myself. When my parents found out the "bad " neighborhood I was going to live in, they asked me to live with them until my wedding, for free. I still had to follow the rules at thier house but they made some changes for me.

Good luck.

[aderifield]

You know, ah, maybe it's bc I am 'supersensitive,' but I cannot imagine myself infringing on another's health or, ever taking the chance of doing something that I know could even possibly make another person sick. It's just plain 'insensitive.' It's not like this disease is your option.

I would have a very serious, well-mannered talk with them, trying very hard to be assertive, as opposed to aggressive in tone and mannerism. I would have a few articles for them to read on the subject of cross-contamination when I did, even if they've read many before and I would, also, try to find something that tells of the damage being done upon each contamination - it is delaying your recovery.

If you are underaged, I would consider bringing it up to your doctor, if he is sensitive to the issue himself - many are not. I would ask him for his opinion on the need to prevent CC and get a feel for how seriously he takes it - many do not take it seriously. If you find you have an understanding ally in him, I would ask him/her to cordially speak to one of your parents.

If you are an adult, I would feel no differently. So what if it is their household? You are a member of it and if they don't want to make allowances for you there, they need to straight out tell you, not allow you to stay knowing full well they aren't going to be making concessions or, stay on focus.

Bottom line is that you can't live your life being constantly sick and you need to develop an approach that will allow you to meet with your goal of staying protected. Remember, there is no selfishness in having a desire to maintain your health or, feel well and if others believe you to be unreasonable, it only demonstrates that exact characteristic in them.

Good luck.

[mcc0523]

I am looking into getting a dorm fridge... However, I'm not sure if I want to buy one now, since I'm most likely to move out.

I am an adult, who is keeping my parents from being in a financial pickle by paying them rent to live here. I would rather not move out, because I know that would be detrimental to them, but I can't handle being glutened at least once a week, in my own home (I don't eat out) and I'm REALLY careful (washing my hands after I touch anything that could potentially be a source of contamination, washing my dishes by hand and rinsing them for at least 15-20 seconds, using plates instead of counters to prepare food, etc.). It may be their kitchen, but as I'm paying for use of it, it should be in such a condition that it not going to make me sick. Since gluten makes me sick, then it should be gluten free. Or I'm not going to use their kitchen. Which means I'm not going to eat, because I don't eat out... so the only option is for me to move out.

I've tried to talk to my mom about this, and to say that she is resistant is an understatement. My dad is more supportive, but is unable to counteract my mom's strong personality when it comes to things like this.

[kareng]

if you pay rent, you should have equal say in the running, chores, expenses & rules of the household. However, if these were just 2 roommates who wouldn't work with you, you would move out as soon as your lease was up ( or kick them out).

Your parents are grown-ups. If they refuse to even try to keep the crumbs away from you and your food, you will need to move out. Thier financial problems are not more important than your life & health. I would not want to depend on my kids for money.

[Jestgar]

if you pay rent, you should have equal say in the running, chores, expenses & rules of the household. However, if these were just 2 roommates who wouldn't work with you, you would move out as soon as your lease was up ( or kick them out).

Your parents are grown-ups. If they refuse to even try to keep the crumbs away from you and your food, you will need to move out. Thier financial problems are not more important than your life & health. I would not want to depend on my kids for money.

What Karen said.

[hannahp57]

I would move out. I was in a similar situation over the summer. my husband deployed and we lived in a bad area before he left so my parents asked me to move in until he returned. My father is very unclean when he uses the kitchen and he is always eating. I was constantly wiping down counters before preparing food. I also rinsed off every bowl, plate, and utensil I ever used while staying there, because my parents really dont wash their hands before reaching for things. I came home one time and my father was unloading the dishwasher, while eating a piece of toast and he laid every single thing down on the counter (the dirty, gluteny counter). I finally decided, after being glutened twice in the first two weeks, everything I wanted to eat would stay in my own room. also, if you don't have room for everything, leave things in the common kitchen on a separate high shelf before it is opened. once it is opened, take it into your room so no one has the opportunity to reach their hands in.

However, in your situation I would simply move out. You are trying to do you a favor and they can't help you out in return. that is selfish and they are adults. No need to be a martyr for our cause. Go find yourself a place and take care of yourself. every glutening means your intestines can sustain damage and in the long run, a lot of glutenings can lead to serious health problems. good luck with your situation

[domesticactivist]

No matter how old you are or how much rent you are paying, they are your parents and will feel like it's their house to call the shots in. I agree with the others who say make your own kitchen in your room or move out. It's just not safe for you if they will not respect your need to live in a gluten-free environment. Good luck!