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My Boyfriend Isnt Coping With Me Being Ill

MissBonnie

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MissBonnie Apprentice
MissBonnie
Posted

my boyfriend is having a really hard time coping since i went to hospital and was diagnosed with celiac. i have been off work for 6 months and gluten free now for 2. i am improving but still not enough to return to work. its very up and down and i struggle witht the emotions of it all too. he cant deal with us not having a relationship because of my sickness and says he needs councilling ecause he isnt showing he cares for me enough. how do i get through this without ruining my 3 year relationship? :(

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rgarton Contributor
rgarton
Posted

I was diagnosed at the beginning of my relationship, which was very tricky. I dealt with depression and anxiety too, I've spoken to my doctor about having anxiety management and also maybe taking some medication to help with the stress of it all. I'm not saying jump onto pills but maybe get some management of your own too? With not having a job, if money is a stress i managed to get disability allowance from job income support because everytime i even walked 20minutes i would have to lie down incase i fainted, can't go to work in that condition really! I really feel for you. My partner found it difficult but once i sorted myself out he didn't stress as much and just supported me. I hope you find some comfort knowing your not alone and your allowed to ask for help financially and emotionally through these tricky times.

  • 2 weeks later...
thleensd Enthusiast
thleensd
Posted

I feel for you! :( You said he feels he isn't showing he cares enough? If that is the case, it sounds like he *does* care... he just needs to learn how to show it in a way that *you* appreciate.

It is SO hard on both people, isn't it? Is he willing to see a counselor with you? If not, maybe you can go and learn some things to cope and help communicate. The guy I was with when I was diagnosed couldn't handle it. That sucked, but I'm better of knowing *now* where is priorities were. Since then I found a guy that can handle it. They do exist. =) Hopefully, your guy just need a little help knowing how to support you through this emotional and physically difficult time.

There are a lot of crazy emotions. Hopefully you have someone other than your boyfriend to bounce those off of. I have been off work for some time as well, and there's a lot to cope with. Feel free to vent here. There is plenty of empathy!

Hang in there! It will get better. :)

  • 3 weeks later...
Mummyto3 Contributor
Mummyto3
Posted

It's a big shock to begin with, isn't it? My daughter has just been diagnosed and as bowel probs run in my family, I will be tested too. I hesitate to call celiac disease a 'sickness'. It's an auto immune 'disease'. I have thyroid disease which is auto immune but although I take a daily tablet, I don't consider myself 'sick'. I know this is all going to be a big learning curve for all the newly diagnosed people and their loved ones, but what I would suggest is that you both start reading up as much as you can about Celiac Disease and I'm sure you'll find that you really will be okay as long as you're very careful with your diet. I thank goodness that it isn't anything worse for my daughter eg. a nut allergy which could send you into anaphalactic shock and kill you quickly.

Do talk to eachother about this as much as possible. If he loves you, then he'll stick by you. Remember, this is a big shock to the both of you and we all deal with things differently and at different paces.

Take care x

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