Kinda Don't Know What To Do

[Strawberry-Jam]

's OK. It was just how the ancestry thing came out. Didn't mean anything by it...

I just have a lot of African friends here who are not American at all, so when I read that I was like, wut? but I know you didn't mean anything

[Gfresh404]

Yeah, I get it. You feel out of place and a bit awkward like a giant "C" is blinking on your forehead. Everyone wants to know why you aren't drinking?

Just carry around a drink - a cheap can/bottle of something or a cup of mystery stuff (soda, whatever). Learn to deflect the questions. Counter with remarks that turn the convo around to the questioner. It's a skill that will come in handy in the working world.

And find a FWB. You're getting to the age where they're going to be more common. Try to find a slightly older FWB...older women(especially at your age) can be a bit more interesting and exciting (not to mention mature). Look at the intense majors - the ones too busy to breathe (much less date). Pick the girl that intimidates you and go to work. What's she going to do? Say no???

And sober sex is great, especially with a FWB.

I guess I'm saying try going outside your comfort zone, expand your party base.

My friends actually really don't care that much whether or not I drink

[Gfresh404]

True.

I also forgot to mention that I'm a college professor, so I've seen a lot of college kids over the years. College is - for most people - not the best time of life, even though it's marketed as such. If you're 21, you may just be feeling stiffled by college and looking forward to being out of that environment.

Definitely am

I think you are right to suspect that you are a little depressed. What you are describing is self-medication. When your mind is working right, there is not much to need take the edge off. Then you go to a party and laugh at your friends' drunken antics and choose to skip the hangover. Would you be surprised to learn that stress and depression tend to trigger alcohol cravings in men? They trigger anxiety in women so you guys might have it better off in some ways.

We are lecturing you because most adults have watched at least one alcoholic ruin their lives, their spouse's lives, and their children's lives with alcohol. I've seen many more than one. A drink or two is totally normal, but when you want to "get drunk and do stupid stuff", or "take the edge off" with alcohol, that is when you need to tread carefully. Many alcoholics get started drinking in college. (And some begin the self-destruction by flunking out.) I'd be willing to bet you know someone who has flunked a test because of drinking rather than studying or even passing out and sleeping through it. I had to fail a guy on his final a couple years ago for sleeping through it and alcohol was likely involved.

The food thing sucks for fitting in. We all struggle with it, and would all like to go eat pizza and have a beer without worrying about it. All the gluten we are surrounded with is soul-crushing. One thing that helps is to know all the popular places you can get gluten-free pizza, a dedicated fryer for fries, or even a salad bar in a pinch so you can eat with friends. That said, I wish I were as lucky as you to have been diagnosed at age 18. I lost 14 years of my life to this disease. You have to get over feeling weird about bringing food to parties. Instead of a snack, pack a proper meal becasue you will feel better if you're not hungry. Peanut butter on gluten-free bread travels well. So do apples, oranges, bags of veggies, nuts, gluten-free jerkey, and bags of potato chips.

Make sure they have tested your thyroid at student health. Not recovering well from exercise and depression can be a sign of hypothyroidism. Get the lab results and if your TSH is above 2.5, make yourself a squeaky wheel until they do something. TSH is sometimes misread because of old, incorrect reference ranges.

Many celiacs are a little malnourished. Here's what I'd do if I were you: I'd go onto a GOOD multivitamin/chelated mineral supplement. Not one-a-day, but something like Solgar Male Multiple. A good vitamin will cost some money but the cheap stuff often just goes through you. Make sure it has a lot of B-complex, and includes molybdenum so you can make alcohol metabolizing enzymes. I find I feel generally awful and don't sleep well if I don't take some fish oil, about 3 capsules of normal-strength or two concentrated a day. These things may help with the depression in general, and they may also improve your alcohol tolerance a little. You could also look into St. John's Wort or 5-HTP.

It's possible you're reacting to traces of gluten in alcohols. I'm sure you know that beer is not gluten-free. *sigh* I miss Guinness. Anyway, not many celiacs react to grain alcohol, but some do. Potato vodka is by far the easiest alcohol to tolerate because it's so pure but you may find it a little expensive, especially to bring to a party. Other super-safe alcohols are wine, hard cider (Strongbow, Blackthorn, Magner's, Woodpecker are all safe. I think I remember something about gluten in Hornsby's but it's gross anyway.), gluten-free beer like Redbridge (beware "low gluten" beers; they are unsafe), a sugar cane rum like Bacardi, or agave tequila. Do yourself a favor and don't get drunk on tequila! Worst hangover ever! Red wine can be tricky because it has so many natural chemicals in it, but white is usually pretty easy to tolerate.

If you're of Asian descent, you may never tolerate alcohol very well. If you're of European, Hispanic, or African-American descent, the nutrition may help. It may not though. I'm of European descent and tolerate alcohol poorly. As PricklyPear said, you can learn to nurse a drink, deflect questions, carry around a cup of something other than alcohol.

Hint: Those socially awkward girls are the smart, kind ones who will treat you like a prince if you give them a chance.

I am not looking to alcohol to self-medicate. I am looking to alcohol to become more social. I think some forget that alcohol is a huge social thing, especially at college.

Had my thyroid checked a couple of months ago, everything was within normal range, except for Iron levels, but I even started taking a supplement for that.

I have been taking New Chapter's food based vitamins for quite some time and they seem to be working very well. Just started taking Fish Oil and St. John's Wort

[Gfresh404]

As someone relatively close to your age, and a female who is not "socially awkward," I can honestly say I don't really like when I see guys who are drunk/tipsy/buzzed/whatever. As I will be the girl not drinking my way through college, it's nice to see someone who doesn't drink too. But if you really want to drink, bring something you can drink and stick to that. There's enough alcohol out there that celiacs can tolerate.

And, I have to say, you got a lecture on here because you kind of asked for one. No one's going to be sympathetic to your desire to hook up with girls like everybody else. Sorry.

I will definitely keep trying other types of alcohol. Maybe it is just the grain alcohols that bother me.

And lol

[Gfresh404]

Woah - So I finally just finished responding to all the posts I had something to say in return. And I did read them ALL.

First off, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for their support and advice, even if I did disagree with it. It really does mean a lot to me. I don't frequent this site much anymore but when I do the community has been nothing but awesome.

One big thing I think I forget to mention was that I am just in a Winter Term right now which is just one (joke) of class and so I have a lot more free time on my hands than I would in a regular semester and I think that is causing me to dwell more on my issues.

I realize my original post probably came off as pretty scumbag-ish. I really didn't meant for it to be taken that way. If I am going to hook up with someone, it's obviously because we both really want to, I'm not looking to take advantage of anyone.

Again, thanks to everyone for actually taking the time to read my post. I'm a little surprised at how helpful is to have a place like this.

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[ravenwoodglass]

One big thing I think I forget to mention was that I am just in a Winter Term right now which is just one (joke) of class and so I have a lot more free time on my hands than I would in a regular semester and I think that is causing me to dwell more on my issues.

Since you are only doing one class this term is there a class that you are really good at? You could try signing up as a tutor, some colleges will even pay you for it, and you might meet some interesting people that way. My DS met a couple of women that turned into really good friends that way. Never asked if they ever turned into FWB, as a Mom I didn't want to know and he wouldn't have told me anyway.

I think trying a hard cider is a good idea when your out. It can be hard when you're out and everyone is drinking and your not. It is silly but people can get really bent out of shape if they are partying and one in their group isn't. I am much older than you (understatement of the year LOL) but I would get a clear rum and coke and then have the bartender refill the glass with straight coke and put a swizzle stick in so folks wouldn't know I only had one or two drinks. It kept folks from doing the 'awww come on you can have one more' routine and the one or two drinks would relax me enough to be a bit more social than I usually am.

Social stuff is hard for alot of people even if they aren't celiac and being celiac makes it even harder to deal with.