Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

A Joke For Today

IrishHeart

Recommended Posts

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

>

>

>

> After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

>

> He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

>

> She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

>

> He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,

> and Hot".

>

> She smiled happily and said ...

> "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"

>

> He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

>

> The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • Replies 75
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Bubba's Mom Enthusiast
Bubba's Mom
Posted

LOL! :lol:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

Piece of advice- will be more effective with torn clothing and sticks&twigs in your hair. Just sayin....

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Or clothes from the past. Like little house on the prairie or 1920s flapper

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

Funny you mention this!!!

today, (because it was more fun than Spring cleaning <_< )...I was thinking of going with the flapper outfit from when I played Flo in the musical "Good News"....boa and all.

Think it'll work??

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author
:lol: :lol: :lol:
  • 2 weeks later...
squirmingitch Veteran
squirmingitch
Posted

A feel good video for the day:

I guarantee you will be amazed. She's NINETY FOUR!

For all you dancers out there

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO ENJOY LIFE:)

Mathilda's Solo, something to look forward to?

And she is 94 now!!

Open Original Shared Link

pricklypear1971 Community Regular
pricklypear1971
Posted

I wish I could do that NOW.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

OMG, that little lady is wonderful!!! Hat off to her. :)

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

Hey, how did you get your hands on that video of me?.....they said it would not be posted on youtube!!!

:lol:

That chick is SOMETHING!! Rock on, sister!

My parents danced like that. Elegant. Graceful. sigh.

I dance like that, but hubs....er, does not. Two left feet.

He says, you do all the work, babe. So, I dance around him. :lol:

That's right, SQUIRMY, you are never too old to dance.

I still dance, even when I am extra ouchy.

It's good for the soul. :)

squirmingitch Veteran
squirmingitch
Posted

I can't keep still when the music moves me! And the music moves me ---- well, anytime I hear music!laugh.gif

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted
IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

Bubba's Mom Enthusiast
Bubba's Mom
Posted
:lol::lol::lol:
JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

That reminds me of a coworker I had who complained all the time. He would use that old saying, the squeaky wheel always gets the grease? I got sick of it one day and told him that sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

:lol: :lol:

sometimes, the universe just rights itself, doesn't it??

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

Heard this one today.

A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson

that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to

sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he

died.

He left behind 14 children

30 grandchildren

45 great-grandchildren

25 great-great-grandchildren, and a

15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

squirmingitch Veteran
squirmingitch
Posted
laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif
JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

Good ones! :D

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
  • Author

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

It's a good thing it wasn't me driving that car when he said that.

I may not have known to leave well enough alone.

squirmingitch Veteran
squirmingitch
Posted

Ditto that IH.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. trents
      - trents replied to Ello's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      7

      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      You might consider asking for a referral to a RD (Registered Dietician) to help with food choices and planning a diet. Even apart from any gluten issues, you will likely find there are some foods you need to avoid because of the shorter bowel but you may also find that your system may make adjustments over time and that symptoms may improve.
    2. Ello
      - Ello replied to Ello's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      7

      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      I wish Dr’s would have these discussions with their patients. So frustrating but will continue to do research. Absolutely love this website. I will post any updates on my testing and results. Thank you
    3. trents
      - trents replied to Ello's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      7

      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      Losing 12" of your small bowel is going to present challenges for you in nutritional uptake because you are losing a significant amount of nutritional absorption surface area. You will need to focus on consuming foods that are nutritionally dense and also probably look at some good supplements. If indeed you are having issues with gluten you will need to...
    4. Ello
      - Ello replied to Ello's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      7

      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      Yes this information helps. I will continue to be pro active with this issues I am having. More testing to be done. Thank you so much for your response.
    5. trents
      - trents replied to Ello's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      7

      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      There are two gluten-related disorders that share many of the same symptoms but differ in nature from each other. One is known as celiac disease or "gluten intolerance". By nature, it is an autoimmune disorder, meaning the ingestion of gluten triggers the body to attack it's own tissues, specifically the lining of the small bowel. This attack causes...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,833
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Grandma13
    Newest Member
    Grandma13
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • trents
      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      By trents · Posted

      You might consider asking for a referral to a RD (Registered Dietician) to help with food choices and planning a diet. Even apart from any gluten issues, you will likely find there are some foods you need to avoid because of the shorter bowel but you may also find that your system may make adjustments over time and that symptoms may improve.
    • Ello
      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      By Ello · Posted

      I wish Dr’s would have these discussions with their patients. So frustrating but will continue to do research. Absolutely love this website. I will post any updates on my testing and results.  Thank you
    • trents
      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      By trents · Posted

      Losing 12" of your small bowel is going to present challenges for you in nutritional uptake because you are losing a significant amount of nutritional absorption surface area. You will need to focus on consuming foods that are nutritionally dense and also probably look at some good supplements. If indeed you are having issues with gluten you will need to educate yourself as to how gluten is hidden in the food supply. There's more to it than just avoiding the major sources of gluten like bread and pasta. It is hidden in so many things you would never expect to find it in like canned tomato soup and soy sauce just to name a few. It can be in pills and medications.  Also, your "yellow diarrhea, constipation and bloating" though these are classic signs of a gluten disorder, could also be related to the post surgical shorter length of your small bowel causing incomplete processing/digestion of food.
    • Ello
      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      By Ello · Posted

      Yes this information helps. I will continue to be pro active with this issues I am having. More testing to be done. Thank you so much for your response. 
    • trents
      Small Bowel Resection 12 inches

      By trents · Posted

      There are two gluten-related disorders that share many of the same symptoms but differ in nature from each other. One is known as celiac disease or "gluten intolerance". By nature, it is an autoimmune disorder, meaning the ingestion of gluten triggers the body to attack it's own tissues, specifically the lining of the small bowel. This attack causes inflammation and produces antibodies that can be detected in the blood by specific tests like the TTG-IGA test you had. Over time, if gluten is not withheld, this inflammation can cause severe damage to the lining of the small bowel and even result in nutrient deficiency related health issues since the small bowel lining is organ where all the nutrition found in our food is absorbed.  The other is NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity or just "gluten sensitivity") which we know less about and are unsure of the exact mechanism of action. It is not an autoimmune disorder and unlike celiac disease it does not damage the lining of the small bowel, though, like celiac disease, it can cause GI distress and it can also do other kinds of damage to the body. It is thought to be more common than celiac disease. Currently, we cannot test for NCGS. Celiac disease must first be ruled out to arrive at a diagnosis of NCGS. Both disorders require elimination of gluten from the diet.  Either of these disorders can find their onset at any stage of life. We know that celiac disease has a genetic component but the genes are inactive until awakened by some stress event. About 40% of the general population has the genetic potential to develop celiac disease but only about 1% develop active celiac disease. The incidence of NCGS is thought to be considerably higher. I hope this helps.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.