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College Dating

DS29790bb

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DS29790bb Rookie
DS29790bb
Posted

I'm a college guy, a 19 year old sophomore with celiac disease (obviously). I have never dated before and celiac has been a major reason. That being said, there is a girl who I like and I want to ask her out. She knows I have celiac......she found out when we hung out in my room one time. Apparently, her sister is gluten intolerant.

However, when it comes to dating, I am so nervous. Especially when it comes to her. She's awesome, but she's like the type of girl who loves like those burger joints and small pizza places and stuff. She loves meat and stuff. Now, you may wonder why that matters. Here's why. We go to school in the city, and obviously, the city is full of those types of cool hole-in-the-wall places. Those places are obviously a nightmare to any celiac. When me and my friends are hanging out and they go to these places, I just can't get any food. At this point I'm used to it though, so that's not the issue.

But with a girl, it's different. Like I said, she's the type of person that is down for these types of places and I will be so limiting for her. I really want to ask her out on a date to this comedy club. The area is so nice, but it's like the area with all the bars and those types of places......not really many places for a celiac. Plus, we are both under 21 so we can't even drink. But I fear it will be like a tease for her to have all these cool places that I would love to eat with her at that I just cannot do.

I'm just being honest, I have no idea how I will ever be able to successfully date. It just takes so much planning and I am a very spontaneous person.......just the fact that if we are hungry together, my options are so limited in terms of going anywhere with just us two.

Any thoughts on how to deal with this? I just hate how there are so many awesome looking restaurants around that I cannot eat at.

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teruff Newbie
teruff
Posted

I know exactly how you feel. However, that is one HUGE downside of having celiac disease. It definitely sucks never being able to eat out anywhere but it will save you a ton of money, as you already know. I suggest cooking for her & then going to the comedy club. If she really likes you, food will be the last thing on her mind :)

  • 2 weeks later...
glutenfree015 Rookie
glutenfree015
Posted

I’m a 19 year old girl, and I worry about this a lot too. I’m nervous about going out with friends for day trips and things, because I don’t know where is safe to eat. I’m studying abroad next year and I’m really concerned about that too.

As far as the girl goes, not being able to eat at cool restaurants is probably not going to be a deal breaker. If she likes you, she likes you, celiac and all. Maybe you guys can have dinner in, and then go out, or bring a protein bar with you if you’re going to be gone for a while. Most of the guys I’ve been out with since being diagnosed have all been really understanding.

ButterflyChaser Enthusiast
ButterflyChaser
Posted

I am not sure if non-teens are allowed to post here - if not, I ask the mods to delete this.

 

But if we are, then here's my two cents. One of my Ex-s was celiac. Super-sensitive celiac, and lactose intolerant. I was not gluten intolerant at the time. And you know what - it wasn't a problem at all. I got myself informed, he picked the places where we could eat, and when I made something for him I was sure to use gluten-free-only utensils and pans. I became pretty good at gluten-free baking - which now turns out handy, and it got me used to reading labels.

 

I only had gluten-free food (and DF food, which probably didn't help with my current soy reactions) when I was with him so that he could take a bite if curious. I only wished he didn't feel like he had to apologize for feeding me Udi's bagels in the mornings - because I honestly couldn't care less for what was on my plate, since I cared about who was near me.

 

And no, we didn't break up because of celiac LOL :) but I don't speak behind people's backs -_-

 

Look for celiac-friendly places, go there in advance, and make your pool of "dating spots" to use when necessary. Learn to cook together if possible (assuming you're not in a dorm) - that can be a great date, actually. Speak up, and be confident. If she likes you, she'll want the best for your health and peace of mind.

  • 2 weeks later...
DerpTyler Newbie
DerpTyler
Posted

Just eat a steak! theres usually always a way around gluten at an actual restaurant, just make sure she knows that if she eats gluten shes not getting any lovin until those teeth are brushed :)

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Just eat a steak! theres usually always a way around gluten at an actual restaurant, just make sure she knows that if she eats gluten shes not getting any lovin until those teeth are brushed :)

I tried to have a steak at a restaurant but failed - they were all pre-marinated according to the menu for the evening - gluten, soy sauce, whatever..... :unsure:

GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

Welcome DS!

 

I've got two sons 18 and 19 that eat out all the time -- if it is a restaurant that they trust they order - if it is a new place they bring their food along. 

 

They have been gluten-free for over three years and both have found it helps them interact with girls -- teen girls - for good or bad believe eating gluten-free will help them lose weight -- understanding celiac disease and true facts of gluten-free eating has been a great conversation starter for the older/more shy of them.

 

Good luck and don't be afraid to say -- I can't eat this or that...but I'd really like to hang out with you anywhere you'd like to go :D

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DerpTyler Newbie
DerpTyler
Posted

I tried to have a steak at a restaurant but failed - they were all pre-marinated according to the menu for the evening - gluten, soy sauce, whatever..... :unsure:

wow thats abit harsh. Have you looked around on the menu for anything that seems safe?

  • 2 months later...
glutenfree7562 Newbie
glutenfree7562
Posted

I'm a 18 year old college girl, and have celiac. I think any girl would prefer a guy cooking for them rather than just going out anyways. It's so much more romantic and shows more effort! I have never met a guy who really had a problem with my celiac, I know it's harder, but I'm sure she will be fine with your celiac and every thing that goes along with it :)

taynichaf Contributor
taynichaf
Posted

I think your worrying too much about this! If she likes you, she likes you... not for what you can or cant eat. And if her sister is gluten intolerant, thats a plus! She understands what you can and cant eat. Let her go get burgers with her friends or something, you two wont be together 24/7 anyways, ya know?

GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

I think your worrying too much about this! If she likes you, she likes you... not for what you can or cant eat. And if her sister is gluten intolerant, thats a plus! She understands what you can and cant eat. Let her go get burgers with her friends or something, you two wont be together 24/7 anyways, ya know?

 

I agree....you are a bit nervous and over-thinking this.  If she likes you and also has some knowledge of gluten already from a family member...sounds like a great choice.  My son's girlfriend carries digestive enzymes and charcoal in her purse for him -- since they have been dating he does eat a fry or two at these types of restaurants if he feels safe -- he's been gluten-free for four years so is very confident in what he can and cannot have.  

 

If she is worthy of you...your being celiac will not be important.

 

Ask her out :)

 

edited....this thread is a few months old...not sure our OP checked back to see these posts.

  • 3 weeks later...
MissHaberdasher Apprentice
MissHaberdasher
Posted

Yep, same problem. I ended up meeting a cool (at the time) guy that was very supportive of my dietary needs, despite my anxieties and major fears of being glutened and then being around him. He actually went as far as to refuse to eat if there was nothing safe for me to eat and even cooked for me a few times after letting me read all of the ingredients. 

 

It's tough and awkward at times, but it seriously helps weed out the "bad" ones that aren't willing to try new things. 

 

I'm on a dating site now and have had a lot of positive feedback by just putting "Please don't contact me if you have a problem with my gluten/dairy free diet". Apparently a lot of people are into the paleo diet these days, which, for some reason, they confuse with gluten-free. But hey, it works out to my benefit. Kind of. 

  • 3 weeks later...
gabechevarrieta Newbie
gabechevarrieta
Posted

I'm a college guy, a 19 year old sophomore with celiac disease (obviously). I have never dated before and celiac has been a major reason. That being said, there is a girl who I like and I want to ask her out. She knows I have celiac......she found out when we hung out in my room one time. Apparently, her sister is gluten intolerant.

However, when it comes to dating, I am so nervous. Especially when it comes to her. She's awesome, but she's like the type of girl who loves like those burger joints and small pizza places and stuff. She loves meat and stuff. Now, you may wonder why that matters. Here's why. We go to school in the city, and obviously, the city is full of those types of cool hole-in-the-wall places. Those places are obviously a nightmare to any celiac. When me and my friends are hanging out and they go to these places, I just can't get any food. At this point I'm used to it though, so that's not the issue.

But with a girl, it's different. Like I said, she's the type of person that is down for these types of places and I will be so limiting for her. I really want to ask her out on a date to this comedy club. The area is so nice, but it's like the area with all the bars and those types of places......not really many places for a celiac. Plus, we are both under 21 so we can't even drink. But I fear it will be like a tease for her to have all these cool places that I would love to eat with her at that I just cannot do.

I'm just being honest, I have no idea how I will ever be able to successfully date. It just takes so much planning and I am a very spontaneous person.......just the fact that if we are hungry together, my options are so limited in terms of going anywhere with just us two.

Any thoughts on how to deal with this? I just hate how there are so many awesome looking restaurants around that I cannot eat at.

 

I'd suggest looking up the menus online for any bars/clubs that seem appealing, find one that has at least one thing that looks celiac safe and suggest that you guys hang out there, and if she says yes, and if you wanna be extra certain- call the restaurant before hand and have them describe the ingredients in any of the dishes to you. That way when you go out you're not in a tight situation or stressing out about what you're eating, and you can enjoy spending time with her!

 

And I'm sure if she actually likes you and if she already knows someone with the same problem, she'll understand and be patient. If not you don't need to be in someone's company who doesn't appreciate your health concerns!

  • 5 months later...
Nick-incollege Rookie
Nick-incollege
Posted

hey, I'm 21 and sorta have the same problem. usually I just look up places beforehand - you can usually get really good mexican or something that is gluten free! it's still sometimes restricting, but worse case scenario, i just get a salad or something which most places have. not all places do i guess, and it is definitely hard sometimes, but once you get used to it I think it's a lot less awkward. i always just joke about it and am like, "hey, i can't go there lol". it's a ton easier once you turn 21, since you'll tend to go to pubs when you go out, rather than to a small cheap hole in the wall place. 

 

we're definitely in the same place! usually i just get a few drinks to make up for a lame salad or whatever i have. alcohol is pretty awesome :)

  • 3 weeks later...
ktylizbth Newbie
ktylizbth
Posted

At burger joints you can ask for "protein" style, that is wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun. Hope this helps you.

  • 3 months later...
gerbilgirl Rookie
gerbilgirl
Posted

I have a lot of trouble eating out due to multiple food intolerances plus I'm a vegetarian.  A lot of pizzerias by me now offer gluten-free pizza, perhaps it's worth looking into in your area.  And going on a date doesn't always have to involve food, could be movies, mini-golf, or just hanging out. 

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    • trents
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By trents · Posted

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    • catnapt
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By catnapt · Posted

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    • trents
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome, @catnapt! The most recent guidelines are the daily consumption of a minimum of 10g of gluten (about the amount found in 4-6 slices of wheat bread) for a minimum of two weeks. But if possible stretching that out even more would enhance the chances of getting valid test results. These guidelines are for those who have been eating gluten free for a significant amount of time. It's called the "gluten challenge".  Yes, you can develop celiac disease at any stage of life. There is a genetic component but also a stress trigger that is needed to activate the celiac genes. About 30-40% of the general population possesses the genetic potential to develop celiac disease but only about 1% of the general population actually develop celiac disease. For most with the potential, the triggering stress event doesn't happen. It can be many things but often it is a viral infection. Having said that, it is also the case that many, many people who eventually are diagnosed with celiac disease probably experienced the actual onset years before. Many celiacs are of the "silent" type, meaning that symptoms are largely missing or very minor and get overlooked until damage to the small bowel lining becomes advanced or they develop iron deficiency anemia or some other medical problem associated with celiac disease. Many, many are never diagnosed or are diagnosed later in life because they did not experience classic symptoms. And many physicians are only looking for classic symptoms. We now know that there are over 200 symptoms/medical problems associated with celiac disease but many docs are only looking for things like boating, gas, diarrhea. I certainly understand your concerns about not wanting to damage your body by taking on a gluten challenge. Your other option is to totally commit to gluten free eating and see if your symptoms improve. It can take two years or more for complete healing of the small bowel lining once going gluten free but usually people experience significant improvement well before then. If their is significant improvement in your symptoms when going seriously gluten free, then you likely have your answer. You would either have celiac disease or NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity).
    • catnapt
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By catnapt · Posted

      after several years of issues with a para-gland issue, my endo has decided it's a good idea for me to be tested for celiac disease. I am 70 yrs old and stunned to learn that you can get celiac this late in life. I have just gradually stopped eating most foods that contain gluten over the past several years- they just make me feel ill- although I attributed it to other things like bread spiking blood sugar- or to the things I ate *with* the bread or crackers etc   I went to a party in Nov and ate a LOT of a vegan roast made with vital wheat gluten- as well as stuffing, rolls and pie crust... and OMG I was so sick! the pain, the bloating, the gas, the nausea... I didn't think it would ever end (but it did) and I was ready to go the ER but it finally subsided.   I mentioned this to my endo and now she wants me to be tested for celiac after 2 weeks of being on gluten foods. She has kind of flip flopped on how much gluten I should eat, telling me that if the symptoms are severe I can stop. I am eating 2-3 thin slices of bread per day (or english muffins) and wow- it does make me feel awful. But not as bad as when I ate that massive amnt of vital wheat gluten. so I will continue on if I have to... but what bothers me is - if it IS celiac, it seems stupid for lack of a better word, to intentionally cause more damage to my body... but I am also worried, on the other hand, that this is not a long enough challenge to make the blood work results valid.   can you give me any insight into this please?   thank you
    • trents
      Accuracy of testing concerns

      By trents · Posted

      The biopsy looks for damage to the mucosal lining of the small bowel from the inflammation caused by celiac disease when gluten is ingested. Once you remove gluten from the diet, inflammation subsides and the mucosal lining begins to heal. 
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