Very Angry W/ Husband
Posted 06 November 2011 - 07:59 PM
Posted 06 November 2011 - 08:46 PM
"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein
"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"
"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson
Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose
Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
Posted 06 November 2011 - 11:41 PM
Miscarriage, Kidney stones, Anemia, Pneumonia, Migraines, Restless leg, Bone fractures, Blurred/Double vision, Extreme fatigue, Bone & Joint Pain, Thyroid nodule, Celiac diagnosed 2011, Spine and leg bone loss, GERD, Vitamin deficiencies, Malabsorbtion, Neuropathy issues, Ataxia, Raynaud's Syndrome. Currently on diet with limited grain and sugar.
Posted 07 November 2011 - 12:13 AM
Well she's 13 now. She knows what she can and can not eat. My husband (her dad) is in the military and does not currently live here but he does come home every few weeks for a week or so. Things are fine when he is gone. We no longer have to use the little fridge for her food. So we put our drinks in there. My husband is too...I don't know what...lazy, stupid, who knows...to look in that fridge. So anything we put in there is safe. So if it is a leftover that I want for another meal I will put it in there. Failing that, I will try to hide the food in the big fridge. This is not so hard to do because he tends to look only in the front of the fridge. I will also tape a note on it that says "Do not eat!" I have also done this with ingredients I buy for certain recipes that I fear he might otherwise eat. He has actually told me to do this. It is not good enough to tell him not to eat something. He will say he doesn't remember.
As for the pizza this is something he always wants. I have never liked pizza very much and our daughter doesn't either. So his eating it doesn't bother us at all, except that he likes to get the really huge pizzas and two at a time. We have a side by side fridge and those large boxes don't fit in there very well. So that is very much an annoyance.
Thankfully there are a few of grocery stores around here that sell pizza by the slice. So we will often get him two slices when he is home. Yes he will get annoyed that there are no leftovers for later. But... He also has a weight problem and being in the military that's not a good thing. So he gets his pizza and we don't have to deal with a fridge full of the leftovers.
Posted 07 November 2011 - 04:56 AM
OK, I'm going to go against the "grain" - pardon the offensive term...I don't want you to forget that your husband is usually so considerate and has always been your biggest cheerleader in this. I know narratives sometimes lose their details, so there may have been good reason and back story for you to feel anger because he was hungry and wanted to eat the chicken breast even though you had different plans for when he should eat it. And yes, he certainly did know which button to push with the pizza to make you feel badly. My husband is also very understanding but he has bad days. Could it be that your husband just needed to vent?
He's usually so considerate and has always been my biggest cheerleader in this, but right now I'm just so pissed. I left the house for a few hours before he went to get his pizza and we haven't spoken a word to each other in the hour now that I've been back.
Gluten Intolerant, Positive test, June 2010
Casein sensitivity, Positive test, June 2010
Reactive to soy, most processed foods & preservatives, June 2010
Posted 07 November 2011 - 06:08 AM
I learned that with my husband telling him days in advance what is for dinner does not work because food is not a priority in his life so it's often forgotten about. So if I want to do something with the leftovers I have to remind him sometimes repeatedly. I will tell him when I have the idea, I will remind him on any night he is responsible for getting his own dinner(I work evenings so he is on his own a few nights a week), and the day that I plan on making it. Yes it is a lot of reminders and sometimes they aren't needed but, it prevents conflict most of the time. In the event that he does eat what was supposed to be dinner I ask that he plan dinner for that night or get the missing ingredients to what I wanted to make.
Posted 07 November 2011 - 06:39 AM
My reaction would have ben the same as yours. When we finally find something we can actually eat and someone else then eats it, it is disheartening to find it gone.
I so agree with you AVR1962! This has unfortunatly happened to me a few times and I try so hard not to get upset so I mostly will just sulk, lol, I get tired of cooking every single meal so when there is left overs I look forward to just heating it up and relaxing after
Husbands do forget though as mine has, have to have my sulk time and then make up
Hope things are better for you both.
Have a wonderful husband who I am madly in love with and 2 wonderful children
Everyday is a challenge and journey, I am so glad I have people to go through it with
Posted 07 November 2011 - 06:41 AM
I've come to learn that they don't think about food like we do. They don't have to plan things days ahead like we do. They don't seem to realize that we are limited in what we can eat, and if our "safe food" is gone..it really puts us in a bind. We get upset, and they think we're over reacting. We feel like they don't care about us. I mean, why would they take our food when they can eat ANYTHING?
I've gone into a panic when they've taken something I'd planned for a meal and have no back up plan. Your reaction to your hubby taking the chicken was probably seen as an over-reaction by your hubby, so he retaliated by ordering the pizza. That was insensative of him..but maybe you pushed his buttons and he wanted to push back? Our families are having to adjust to all of this gluten-free stuff too and it's hard on them. All of a sudden they have to change the way they do everything. He may have been having a bad day? If he's usually pretty good and supportive, let's hope this can be one more "learning experience" and move on?
We've had a few of these situations here. I got some inexpensive colored painter's tape. I put it on "off limits foods". I have a carton of cottage cheese right now with tape on it. Once I take out what I need for my recipe I'll remove the tape and the guys will know they can have it. Maybe you could find a way to mark things too? It would save a lot of trouble and hurt feelings.
Posted 07 November 2011 - 09:05 AM
misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010
i'm down here in the well, looking back up at the hill
well, thank heavens i fell, i must look more like myself.
everyone is so kind, everyone looks like
a long lost friend of mine.... - 'up from under' - the wallflowers
have a nice day
Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
Posted 07 November 2011 - 09:21 AM
Just throwing this out there cuz I just discovered it myself, UNO's Pizza has a wonderful gluten-free menu, and makes a delish pizza too. If ya have one near you, I urge you to try them, cuz then you don't have to go pizza free.
The sun may not always shine, but it always rises." SP
Posted 07 November 2011 - 10:10 AM
It always takes two people to escalate a fight. Like most fights, this started with a simple miscommunication. You assumed he remembered that you were saving the chicken; he probably forgot. You think you only got "a little pissy" the next night but whatever you said must have caused him some real pain to provoke such a strong reaction from your "best cheerleader." You need to understand why he felt so angry and hurt that he decided to hurt you in return with pizza. You won't know for sure what happened until you ask, and it may be a bit of a surprise. He also needs to understand how extremely painful his response was to you.
If him forgetting which leftovers to eat is an ongoing problem, I'd suggest labeling the containers with masking tape and a sharpie when you put them in the refrigerator. Mom used to do that with two hungry teenagers in the house. "Save for dinner Tuesday" or "Eat me!" Put the "Eat me" containers right in front and push the "save" containers to the back too.
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