Super Nervous! First Family Gathering Since Diagnoses!

[eblue]

I was dx with celiac 6 weeks ago, and I have my first family fathering since diagnoses tonite and am super scared...So far, no one has really taken my dx seriously. (this is not the same side of the fam that I inherited the celiac gene from, so I am the only one on this side who has it)

 

I am worried that they are just going to think that I am paranoid when I don't eat. "No, sorry, I cant eat that becasue you just picked up a bun and then touched everything" ..uggh...I can just see their faces now

 

I am so nervous, and I really dont know what to do. They are just going to think I am crazy. My uncle donest deny my celiac disease, but he thinks the whole cc thing is ridiculous. He thinks I just do it for attention. I cant wait to see his face tonite when I am the only one who doesnt have a plate of food. uggh

 

Do yall have any suggestions for coping with this?

 

And should I steer clear of everything for fear of cc. I worry about eating what other ppl have made, bc if they made it at their house there is a very good chance for cc. They will probably get offended..but oh well. What would yall do?

 

And also, one more question: They are ordering bbq from a local mom and pop type restraunt. I know to deffinately steer clear of the bbq sauce, but what about the meat? Do you think it would be safe if I brought my own gluten free bbq sauce and just ate the dry pulled pork with MY sauce? Or should I stay away from that too???

 

Help Pleaseeeeee!!!

[pricklypear1971]

First, pack your own food - a complete meal that's just enough for you. Start shopping for a lunch kit you like - little containers, ice pack, etc.

Second, I wouldn't trust the meat in that situation. Too much opportunity for spoons/forks to cc IF it isn't already cc'd at the restaurant or seasoned with gluten.

Third, if you have your own food you will be eating. If you get any snarky remarks either give a sickening sweet smile and ignore it and change the subject, or go psycho and tell 'em to insert a body part up their rectum. All is fair at family gatherings, IMO.

It will get easier. I was just at a family gathering expecting lots of remarks and they didn't say a word. Don't know why, I'm guessing my mother has been talking to them about it OR they're afraid to talk about it. Whatever. Glad I didn't have to talk about it.

[howlnmad]

I was dx with celiac 6 weeks ago, and I have my first family fathering since diagnoses tonite and am super scared...So far, no one has really taken my dx seriously. (this is not the same side of the fam that I inherited the celiac gene from, so I am the only one on this side who has it)

 

I am worried that they are just going to think that I am paranoid when I don't eat. "No, sorry, I cant eat that becasue you just picked up a bun and then touched everything" ..uggh...I can just see their faces now

 

I am so nervous, and I really dont know what to do. They are just going to think I am crazy. My uncle donest deny my celiac disease, but he thinks the whole cc thing is ridiculous. He thinks I just do it for attention. I cant wait to see his face tonite when I am the only one who doesnt have a plate of food. uggh

 

Do yall have any suggestions for coping with this?

 

And should I steer clear of everything for fear of cc. I worry about eating what other ppl have made, bc if they made it at their house there is a very good chance for cc. They will probably get offended..but oh well. What would yall do?

 

And also, one more question: They are ordering bbq from a local mom and pop type restraunt. I know to deffinately steer clear of the bbq sauce, but what about the meat? Do you think it would be safe if I brought my own gluten free bbq sauce and just ate the dry pulled pork with MY sauce? Or should I stay away from that too???

 

Help Pleaseeeeee!!!

If it were me, I'd bring my own food and not really care what they thought about it. My wife brings her own any time we go to a family gathering.

As far as the BBQ goes, the meat itself is okay, the problem is what did they possibly season or rub it with and what was on that smoker before. There is no way to be certain so I'd would suggest that you pass on the BBQ. And that really sucks to have to say. I loves me some good BBQ.

[nvsmom]

Yep. Ditto. Bring your own food. Ideally, if it is similar to other's food, they won't notice. If you want to barbque, bring tinfoil to put your own safe meat onto so it won't touch the grill.

 

I find it helps (in my family) to go with pre-emptive sweeteness: "Thank you for helping me keep my food safe. I know it is such a hassle to feed me. you are so sweet to help me out like this..." Any Aunt or Grandma will usually go for that approach, IMO. 

 

I would also suggest bringing food to share. Bring a veggie tray or a big bowl of gluten-free potato salad for everyone. Maybe bring a tray of gluten-free brownies - there are some good easy mixes out there. This seems to help attitudes too, maybe it is because others see you working so they are less likely to begrudge you the extra effort you need from them... and the men will be happy because all men seem to love food.  LOL

 

Good luck.

[bartfull]

You can also say something along the lines of, "I hate it that I can't eat all of this wonderful food but my doctor told me that even the slightest trace of gluten will make me sick. So I brought my own food because, after all, we are getting together to enjoy one another's company, and that's what's important."

[june27]

When I was 4 months into my gluten-free diet after diagnosis last year, I had a similar issue to deal with.  I was headed for a weekend get-a-way with a group of maybe 60 people.  For breakfast/lunch I brought my own meals.  For a couple of dinners, I did my research and found restaurants that had good gluten-free reviews.  On the last night, the group has BBQ catered.  I called the BBQ caterers and asked if they had anything that might be gluten free.  They sounded very knowledgeable on the subject, and knew which things were safe and which were not.  Since they knew I was also concerned with CC, they made me my own platter of food so I would not have to deal with other folks contaminating the serving area before I got my food.   I had a delicious meal, with no gluten issues.

 

So, it might be worth a phone call.  It is probably worth bringing a back-up meal though - just in case.  

 

During my first year, I was very confused about how careful I needed to be regarding CC.  For the most part, I started off with the attitude that I will do what I can (my house was gluten-free, and I would never intentionally eat gluten, but I was a little more lax on the CC side of things), and not "sweat the small stuff" - with the understanding that it was a learning process and over time you will learn how careful you need to be.  Each time I have gotten bit by CC, I move on thinking "yup, I guess I need to be more diligent about that too".  (The first time I had gone to 99's and ate off the gluten-free menu, but something I had not eaten before.  My insides were in distress for 3-4 days, and it took a solid week before my digestive track was back to normal.  I have not gone back.  The 2nd and 3rd times, my insides were unhappy for about 24 hours.  In retrospect, I think the first glutening was more than CC.  The subsequent times, were likely CC, because I really couldn't come up with a plausible explanation and the sickness was short-lived.  Time #2 I now think was CC sugar used in a bean dip that my sister made - CC from baking using the same measuring spoon for flour and then sugar - my sister's revelation of how she "made me sick". Now, in addition to having my own cutting board, she now knows to use fresh sugar for anything she makes for me - I only go to her house 2 or 3 times a year, so it really is very kind of her.)

 

I am not advocating that people should throw caution to the wind, just that we need to accept that it is a learning process and as you make mistakes (we all do), you will become better equipped to deal with different situations in the future.  It is now much easier for me to defend myself to nay-sayers because I KNOW that CC will make me sick.  For me, I have more confidence when I have to be diligent because I have experienced the 'glutening' versus having to say "from what I have read, I need to care about that".  This might  not be the best path for everyone to venture down, but it worked well for me.  

 

Good luck!

[Salax]

I would bring my own food. Even after 4 years being gluten-free (plus corn and cow milk products now) I will always bring my own food to a function, no one (even with the best of intentions) is going to prepare and make your food as safe as you will. And since your so new to this, personally, I think it would be better to be firm with your food needs now rather than later.

 

Meaning - don't eat something because someone is upset that your not eating their something that they think is gluten-free (it probably isn't), or someone who tried to cook for you brings something..don't eat it. I would set the ground rules now with your family. This is a great opportunity for you to set those rules, because otherwise it will continue until you get so steamed you start screaming and crying LOL.

 

In all seriousness, just breathe and take it one moment at a time. If you bring your food and decide ahead of time not to eat ANYTHING outside of your own food that will put you a lil more at ease going into this, then you can focus the the "stink eye" look to give people who aren't taking you seriously. 

 

Just my 2 cents.

[cap6]

Bring your own.  Don't eat what someone else has prepared just to save their feelings.  Your hurting gut will not thank you later