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Dating ?

lacey

By lacey
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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lacey Contributor
lacey
Posted

I'm beginning to wonder how is a gal supposed to date people when she can't eat anything?

I not only have Celiac, but am not able to eat soy or dairy either. It's embarrassing, I seem like a picky eater, and my order usually comes back wrong....I'm talking salad covered in croutons wrong.

I'm in my late 20s and feel like my life is being taken over. I can't eat anywhere and am always too tired to do anything. Anxiety is going through the roof. Nightmare.

I know there are a lot of people out there who have wonderful spouses that have their back...but most likely you were diagnosed after getting married. Am I right?

I was told tonight by an acquaintance that I must be a real pain to go out with...I guess it got to me. I usually try to stay strong, but I'm just done. I'm tired. :(

Ugh

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cyclinglady Grand Master
cyclinglady
Posted

People can be so mean (but you already knew that!).  I am sorry that you are feeling so down!  

Because you are feeling so tired and anxious, I would recommend follow-up celiac testing.  You might be getting glutened.  It has been just six months since you went gluten free though.  You might just need more time.    Took me year to feel well.

Dating?  I was diagnosed after being married. But I recall my single days.  I opted for active dates (hiking, museum visits, skating, etc.).   I packed a picnic basket on each outing.  I never met a guy who complained about fried or roasted chicken, salads, wine and brownies.   I would bring home baked goodies to my university classes and won over several guys.  Weren't you a pastry chef?   I bet you can make terrific gluten-free desserts!  

Things will get better!  

 

lacey Contributor
lacey
Posted
  • Author

Thank you cyclinglady :)

I guess I have never heard of follow up testing...I've been gluten free for several years but got my official Celiac diagnosis earlier this year. I'm not really sure how I would be getting glutened...but it sure feels like I am. Nothing showed up on my colonoscopy/endoscopy...but then again I haven't eaten gluten in so long it wouldn't show up. My doctor did genetic testing and concluded I did indeed have Celiac and that's about it. Since then I have been on my own. I've seen a few naturopathic doctors and have wasted a lot of money...

Active dates are always nice...but usually end up involving food...I'm pursuing a career in the fitness industry so perhaps I'll begin to meet people who are ok with eating a health conscious diet!

Shell156 Apprentice
Shell156
Posted

Oh wow,  I dated A LOT a few years ago while being gluten free, and ate out as well.

I was always nervous to tell people but if they accepted it without much hoopla, I pretty much knew they were a good guy. I also had to explain I couldn't kiss them if they had eaten gluten but it always went over well :)

As far as dealing with restaurants go, I'd call the restaurant beforehand and talk to the manager if possible and explain the full severity of my allergy so that when I got there, I could just say, "I'm Richelle, I spoke to you on the phone earlier about the serious food allergy." 

That way I didn't have to make a big deal in front of my date. I don't have allergies to dairy but my gluten allergy is more sensitive than anyone I've ever met, so my eating options are very limited.

Hopefully you'll be able to have a little more fun on dates! If I could give my 20-something self some advice I'd say just enjoy this time and don't worry as much. I know that's not easy to do when you're in it but I really wish I had worried less.

one question: your doctor gave you an official celiac diagnosis based on a gene test? Did you have to push to get it done? My doctor says he strongly suspects celiac but he can't diagnose me without me doing a gluten challenge, which would probably kill me.

lacey Contributor
lacey
Posted
  • Author

Thanks shell156 :)

You are right...I guess it is a good judge of character right off the bat! So far I guess I am attracting the wrong type of person ha ha. I just don't like feeling so limited. The last few times I've gone out to eat I've gotten quite sick...so it makes me stressed ?

My doctor did do a genetic test...she waned me to eat gluten everyday for a few weeks before my colonoscopy and just like you it would probably kill me! I'm very allergic to wheat...like stop breathing and I have an epi pen type of allergy. So we did the genetic blood work and I was diagnosed on that....which sometimes I question. I don't know :(

 

 

ckd0822 Newbie
ckd0822
Posted

I was diagnosed at 17, so all of my dating was gluten-free when there were no "gluten free" options.  When I met my husband, going to dinner was a bit of a challenge as I knew of only two restaurants that I could successfully eat at without getting sick. We are very outdoorsy and most of our dates were active and when food was involved, I cooked or we did a picnic. It's doable, just takes a little more planning.

Casual dating when you have celiac was a pain for me, but when I found the one that didn't act like it was a chore to go to that one place across town that was my favorite, I kept him ;)

lacey Contributor
lacey
Posted
  • Author

Thank you ckd0822! :)

sometimes it helps to know there is hope ha ha! Your guy sure sounds like a keeper! 

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etbtbfs Rookie
etbtbfs
Posted

Don't bother dating a person who doesn't understand that the industrialized food supply is dangerous.  If they won't tolerate special dietary requirements, then they certainly won't tolerate anything worse.

But you say your anxiety is going through the roof.   If you have anxiety all the time, you should make sure that gluten has not triggered autoimmunity.  Thyroid autoimmunity is famous for causing anxiety and ultimately panic/anxiety attacks.  If your thyroid hasn't been checked, find a good (they are rare) doctor who will do a full thyroid panel (TSH,FT3,FT4,rT3,TPO antibodies,TG antibodies) and who knows how to treat with NDT and/or T3+T4.

manasota Explorer
manasota
Posted

Hi Lacey,

Ditto all the others who say to dump any guy who won't CHEERFULLY support your food requirements.  If you're interested in a long-term relationship with a loving, supportive partner, food requirements will be the LEAST of your problems!  My husband and I have been married since 1975.  Long-term, you will have to deal with a lot more than food requirements.  Good stuff and bad stuff.  I'm thinking Celiac requirements are the BEST test of a new relationship.  It will act as a litmus test to provide you with quick and accurate information on just how supportive this new person will be.  Lucky you won't have to waste any time with losers!  HA!  (Finally.  Celiac disease has a MAJOR benefit!!!)  Hooray!

lacey Contributor
lacey
Posted
  • Author

Etbtbfs - Thank you for the advice! I think I'm going to have my thyroid checked again. The last time I was at the doctor I requested it to be checked...but it's looking like they didn't do a full thyroid panel. ? 

Manasota- Thank you as well! You are right it's probably the best test ha ha!?

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