Public School Function: Junior Prom

[Bruins21Fan]

Hello,

My son is attending his junior prom and there will be no gluten free options for him. I have always been very understanding about school functions, but this is the last one. He has a section 504 which says under the disabilities act they have to provide a gluten free option. I'm tired of putting up with ignorance about celiac disease. I'm tired of paying for an event and he can't participate fully ...not eating. I'm going all the way with this one. He finds it very embarrassing when people ask him why he's not eating. I'm done saying it's ok, then I end up providing something for him to eat. Has anyone suffered with this problem in their public school??? Thanks,

[Scott Adams]

Most of us deal with this, to some degree, on a daily basis. Is there a way you could turn this into an opportunity to educate them, and offer to help them offer a gluten-free alternative?

[cyclinglady]

My daughter just attended her prom with a group of her friends (it is more common than dates) out here on the West Coast.   One of her friends was just diagnosed with celiac disease a few months ago.   They picked a restaurant that had good reviews on “Find Me Gluten Free” so that she would not get sick. It was not a glamorous place and they were over dressed, but they had a blast!  Another friend who is Vegan was also accommodated by their restaurant choice.   Most of the prom ticket costs goes towards the venue, DJ and security.  Not a lot of food, per my daughter.  Her friend brought in some gluten free goodies and did not feel left out.   They all  said that the best part of prom was the preparation of getting ready and dressing up.  

I have celiac disease.  I get not be able to eat with the crowd, but that is life.  It is either going to be easier in the future for your son because he will adapt, or he will feel miserable.  No one is going to accommodate him when he is out in the world.  Sure you can make a stink, but is that what your teen wants?  Why not support him and help him make good choices that will keep him safe and happy?  

I think a 504 plan is good for kids who are small.  Every child is entitled to a education and should be kept safe, but  by  high school (and depending on the extent of their disability), I think they need to start learning how to manage without school support.   My kid has dyslexia.  We refused to file  a plan for her.  We just taught her some coping mechanisms recommended  teachers, the district psychologist and others who have dyslexia.  Despite her disability (believe me it was shocking to read her gobblely  goop when she was small), she is at the top of her class.  No one knows that she busts her butt every night doing homework that takes her much longer.  She must memorize every single word as she can not sound out anything and she is doing the same in her foreign language  class too.  Did we do the right thing?  Will the person at SAT recognize that she can not spell when they are grading her handwritten essay?   Will they give her a break?   Will it ruin her chances for college?  We think not.    Better to learn how to cope now, because companies are not going to accommodate her.  

I could be wrong, but prom is an extracurricular activity.  I am not sure he has to even be accommodated.  

We want to protect our kids.  But they need to learn to be independent and strong.  We are not going to be here forever.

I hope your son enjoys  his prom!   

 

[Bruins21Fan]

Thank you for your replies. He was diagnosed at age 7 so I have been dealing with the public school system for 10 years. I have always been positive, trying to educate the educators, but after 10 years the school system still does not get it. The school is part of the organizing, therefore, federally funded and because of the 504 plan, they do need to accommodate his needs. I have never pushed the subject in 10 years. I'm done. I tired of educating them, reminding them and always paying for food he can not eat. I once again have scheduled a meeting with the school. It is exhausting. I know prom is about dancing, the dj and just being with your friends. I know I can feed him prior to the event. I know I can give him a gluten free snack to stash in his pocket. It's just not right that I have to keep doing this. It's not right because they are supposed to accommodate his needs. He says it is embarrassing because they do not accommodate his needs and that he once again can not participate fully in a school activity. He is tired of being the one on the outside looking in. He knows how to cope in "the outside world" because you can choose what restaurant and where you can eat based on the gluten free choices that are available to you. The school is not giving him a choice and that is all we want. One option so he can have the same experience as the rest of the kids attending the prom is what he wants. The school once again will be "educated" and hopefully children diagnosed now will have it better than my son has had it. Thanks!

 

[Ennis-TX]

15 minutes ago, Bruins21Fan said:

Thank you for your replies. He was diagnosed at age 7 so I have been dealing with the public school system for 10 years. I have always been positive trying to educate the educators but even after 10 years, the school system just don't get it. The school is part of the organizing, therefore federally funded and because of the 504 plan, they do need to accommodate his needs. I have never pushed the subject in 10 years. I'm done. I am so tired of educating them, reminding them and always paying for food he can not eat. I once again have to have a meeting with the school. It is exhausting. I know prom is about dancing, the dj and just being with your friends. I know I can feed him prior to the event. I know I can give him a gluten free snack to stash in his pocket. It's just not right that I have to keep doing this. It's not right because they are supposed to accommodate his needs. He says it is still embarrassing because they do not accommodate his needs, he is constantly left out in participating in activities unless I send something gluten free and make it known to everyone that this is just for him. He is tired of being the one on the outside looking in. The school once again will be "educated" and hopefully children diagnosed now will have it better than my son has had it. Thanks!

 

I had alienating special treatment and privileges due to autism and some other issues you probably do not want to hear about in high school. Being provided for my issues made it easier in some respects by alienated me from the other kids. Many things were later learned were being made worse by diagnosed celiac. But fast forward to real world with this disease. You have to learn to accommodate yourself, most everywhere you go outside your home will not cater and provide you with "safe" food...in most cases said food will be prepared and fixed by idiots who lack the concept of cross contamination. You have to be your own provider for food with this disease in many cases and always research and bring your own safe foods for back ups. I know it feels wrong now in school when it should not be something he should be worrying about abut it will prepare him for life dealing with this disease and to know to always bring his own food and be prepared. IT helps in other ways for other life issues.

Bit of a interesting note, I have my 10 year class reunion coming up. I actually contacted and bid in for providing the catering for our reunion all gluten free. I figured I would make it a safe zone for me, and show off my cooking I had to learn to live with this disease. Still working on menus but just a bit of a thing to have you son consider, master cooking for his disease early so he can instead of being the downer who brings his own food to events, be the guy that really knows how to cook great and invite others to come eat at his place.