"de-glutening" A 10 Year Old

[lonewolf]

My 10 year old son has had many symptoms of Celiac or gluten intolerance. His celiac panel came back negative, but I decided to try him on a gluten-free diet anyway. It's only been 3 days, but I'm seeing some improvements and his teacher commented yesterday that he had a really good day - he has had attention problems. And he hasn't had a bedwetting accident for 2 nights in a row! (This is BIG.)

He, however, is getting angry at the thought of having to do this. I told him it was a 1 week trial and we'd figure out if we were going to continue at the end of the week. I've given him delicious lunches, with extra treats (Kinnikinnick K-too's among other things) and he still complains.

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with a child this age that hasn't been officially diagnosed? I've made homemade bread, which everyone loved, homemade cookies, taken him out to eat at the health food store and made a homemade chocolate fudge cake, all in 3 days! I've tried to reason with him, explain why we're trying this and pointed out the improvements we're already seeing. What else can I do?

Liz

[Smunkeemom]

I am sorry that it's hard on him. My grandfather got diagnosed when he was 78, so he was pretty set in his ways too, what helped him was sitting down with me and writing down all his favorite foods and finding ways to make them gluten free. Your son is going through a rough time, patience is key, you sound like you are bending over backwards though. I would sit down and say "this is what you are having trouble with, I think this diet may help, we are already seeing changes, don't you think it's worth a try at least?"

and then try to back off. Make good gluten free food and have him help in his food choices, but try not to set yourself up to be a door mat, you don't need to feel guilty you are doing what you feel is best, and that is a parent's job.

[jerseyangel]

I would also gently urge him to pay attention to how much better he feels when he does not eat foods with gluten in them. Hopefully, as he feels better, he will begin to equate gluten with feeling sick, wetting the bed, etc.

[Guest nini]

my daughter is only five, but what I do for her when she is having a "feel sorry for myself day" when she gets upset that she can't have what the other kids are having... I take her to McDonalds and let her get a milkshake, french fries or hot fudge sundae... I try to focus on the "normal" kid foods that she can have, like let her have an extra bag of Cheetos in her lunchbox or Funyons, or Lays Staxx... Or I let her have a little bag of M&M's or buy her a Pez dispenser with some assorted Pez candies... I try to remind her that it's really not that bad, and she can have a lot of stuff... just not the stuff with gluten.

[Jnkmnky]

Well, I made my family go gluten-free last summer. My oldest was 10. He didn't care. Could it be a little bit of your fault? Are you making a big deal about the hardship of it all? Also, 10 is old enough to appreciate health consequences. I read from my Dangerous Grains book to all of the kids. They don't even want gluten at this point. I also rid us of most all dairy, and msg...hello, no Cheetos or bologna anymore. Still, no one flinched. Even at giving up ice cream. We got popsicles instead. I think 99% of it has to do with your attitude. You also can't go around apologizing for him being gluten-free. That just sets up a dialogue of him needing to be unhappy in order for you to apologize.

[lonewolf]

Are you making a big deal about the hardship of it all?

I've been wheat free/mostly gluten free for 10 years, since he was just a baby. He is used to all the gluten-free food, because I make it every day. He is allergic to milk, so he is used to having some restrictions. We already don't go to McDonalds or eat much fast food - our favorite restaurant is the health food store deli. He has surprised me with his anger about this. He is upset that he can't get a "cookie pass" at school, where the kids get to go to the office to pick a cookie out of the jar for good behavior. (I sent some special cookies for him, so this shouldn't be an issue, he is just looking for ways to complain.) He is just finding things to complain about. Really, this doesn't change his diet much, except for the little everyday things like the kind of bread in his sandwich and snacks at school that he now has to think about. He also said that I was "crazy" if I thought his bed-wetting was related and now claims that he doesn't really have stomach aches, he just exaggerates. Arrgghh! I think I just needed to vent. He really is a good kid, I just can't figure out why he's reacting so strongly.

Thanks for your support, I think I'll get Dangerous Grains and read some of it together. Maybe it will convince my whole family!

Liz

[ryebaby0]

My son was 10 when he was dx, but had been sooooo sick that he didn't care about food anymore. He did have a grieving period, though, which we approached with plain ol' matter-of-factness: "Yes, I know you can't have that. Ever. That does suck. But you will live without chicken nuggets". He made a list of the things he would really miss and we worked on finding tasty substitutes.

But, thinking back, I also remember something else:

Boys that age will just drive their mothers crazy for the entertainment value. Or the mental exercise

joanna

[Jnkmnky]

I've been wheat free/mostly gluten free for 10 years, since he was just a baby. He is used to all the gluten-free food, because I make it every day. He is allergic to milk, so he is used to having some restrictions. We already don't go to McDonalds or eat much fast food - our favorite restaurant is the health food store deli. He has surprised me with his anger about this. He is upset that he can't get a "cookie pass" at school, where the kids get to go to the office to pick a cookie out of the jar for good behavior. (I sent some special cookies for him, so this shouldn't be an issue, he is just looking for ways to complain.) He is just finding things to complain about. Really, this doesn't change his diet much, except for the little everyday things like the kind of bread in his sandwich and snacks at school that he now has to think about. He also said that I was "crazy" if I thought his bed-wetting was related and now claims that he doesn't really have stomach aches, he just exaggerates. Arrgghh! I think I just needed to vent. He really is a good kid, I just can't figure out why he's reacting so strongly.

Thanks for your support, I think I'll get Dangerous Grains and read some of it together. Maybe it will convince my whole family!

Liz

Well, then I agree with the other poster who suggests he's driving you crazy for entertainment! Good luck! My 10 year old accepted the whole dietary make-over with hardly a whimper... but he's a royal PITA over a bunch of other issues. And I just know he's doing it to bug me.

[lonewolf]

Well, then I agree with the other poster who suggests he's driving you crazy for entertainment! Good luck! My 10 year old accepted the whole dietary make-over with hardly a whimper... but he's a royal PITA over a bunch of other issues. And I just know he's doing it to bug me.

Hmmm, I hadn't thought of this. Maybe a possiblity. He is doing a little better today. His teacher told me after school that he is "a completely different child this week". He didn't complain too much today. Although who could with pancakes for breakfast; a chicken sandwich, pretzels, gluten-free snack bar, etc. for lunch, a huge Nana's cookie for a treat at school and tacos for dinner. What could he possibly be missing? The only thing I do feel bad for him about is the once-every-week-or-two trip to Great Harvest bakery for breakfast with daddy. We'll have to find some type of replacement for this before they're scheduled to go again.

Thanks again for your support and suggestions.

Liz

[lonewolf]

I just realized that my son's bedwetting is back. It just took a 2 day vacation. He has been totally gluten-free - he's even been responsible at school, which is the only place he's gone besides home. I'm happy about his improved attention span in class and my husband has noticed that he seems more calm in the evenings, but I was hoping that the bed-wetting would go away. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part?

Liz

[Jnkmnky]

Well bed wetting can be a problem for anybody. His bladder may be a little too small right now. I know other people with kids who do not have celiac disease who are bed wetters and the answer to the problem is time to grow and develop more. The Kinnikinnick donuts are very good. My kids like the chocolate dipped the best. If he likes them extra chocolatey, he can add the Pilsbury chocolate fudge frosting. Or any of the Kinnikinnick flavors are good. The sugar cinnamon are good for making "jelly donuts". I add strawberry jelly and powdered sugar. A link to Kinnikinnick is in my sig. at the bottom.

[Guest nini]

my daughter only wets the bed if she's really tired or if there is something bothering her... doesn't have to be related to celiac at all...