How Do I Handle The Question "oh, I'd Die If I Couldn't Eat ____________."

[steveindenver]

As a newbie, when I tell people I have Celiac, and I have to have a gluten free diet for the rest of my life, I often times get "Oh, I'd die if I couldn't eat _________." I struggle with how to respond to their statement. It's pure ignorance on their part. What I might try out is, "Well, I WILL die if I eat __________."

It's so frustrating to hear that response on a consistent basis. I am going to make sure I tell people I have Celiac Disease, hoping that the word "disease" triggers something to get them to realize how serious this is.

Help - any suggestions?

[tarnalberry]

I ignore it entirely.

[Lisa]

Steven ( I presume)

As more publicity comes forth, you may not need to defend you disease. It can be a very frustrating time.

And as time goes on you will become more comfortable with what you have do deal with. I know that I was very intense when I was first diognosed. It totally consummed my life until I go a handle on it

Frustration and some very dumb people are a big part of adjusting. It will get better, although, now I know you want to beat your head against the wall.

As time will go on, you will find that you are totally wiser than servers, chiefs, grocery clerks, DOCTORS, and all the friends that you can have.

Keep checkin here. If your questions can't be answered here, they just can't be answered.

It will get better, Lisa

[Mango04]

I don't think anyone's ever died from *not* eating gluten . Whatever you say to them will probably cause the next most typical response - "Well you can have a *little bit* right? I don't think a *little* gluten will hurt you." Very typical reactions of the non-celiacs.

I don't say much at all, because most people are just incapable of understanding, and unless they're physically shoving gluten down your throat, it just doesn't matter what they think.

One time I really did want to shut someone up after the "you can have a little bit" comment, so I gave short, bold, overly exaggerated explanation of exactly how a crumb of gluten will proceed to cause the complete destruction of my internal organs. It did the trick.

[StrongerToday]

I just smiley sweetly and say "I used to think that, but look at me now!" (Keep in mind i've now lost 54 lbs!)

[steveindenver]

These responses have all been helpful, thank you. I am frustrated, yes, being it's so new. I started a journal last night to help guide my thoughts. One thing I know I am doing that will help me through this, is I am preparing a cookbook for holiday gifts. It's not a gluten-free cookbook, but I am titling it "These Are A Few of My Favorite Things". It will be filled with recipes that I love but can no longer eat. And there is no reason that I want these recipes to go to waste, so I want to share them with family/friends/coworkers and allow them to enjoy what I can't. That helps get me through this disease. I've got a big sweet tooth, so the cookbook has many desserts. And I plan on testing them with alternate flours, but why not share the yummy recipes over the years so they can continue to be passed along to others.

Yes, most folks are ignorant of the disease. One woman I've been e-mailing with gave me the perfect analogy of "Can't you just have a little bit of cake/whatever from time to time? That won't hurt, will it?!" Her response was "It's like falling down and skinning your knee. If you continually skin your knee, it never will heal. The same goes for my stomach." That put it all into perspective for me.

This board has been a lifesaver for me so far.

steve.

[Guest nini]

whenever people say that to me I just smile and say "yeah I thought so too, but look at me now, I've lost over 100 pounds in 3 years without TRYING!) I usually get a friendly "I hate you" right back!

[Lisa]

Why not explore gluten free recipies.......self serving, I know. Try what's now, the avenue is open to you.

This site has lots of gluten free good goodies in all avenues. Check it out.

[Jnkmnky]

Just stare at the person for that one extra second that makes it uncomfortable. No snappy comeback beats an uncomfortable moment....

[Rachel--24]

Just stare at the person for that one extra second that makes it uncomfortable. No snappy comeback beats an uncomfortable moment....

Thats pretty much what I do...I sometimes have nothing to say because some comments are so idiotic I just dont care to respond. The "look" says it all.

[ianm]

I tell the idiot "You might die if you can't eat that crap but I WILL die if I eat it. Remember how fat and out of it I used to be? Well no more. I now have a six-figure income and six pack abs. If I eat gluten I will lose everything. I came close to losing everything once because of gluten and I will NEVER allow that to happen again. Now will you please explain to me why I should be eating gluten?" Shuts them right up.

[lonewolf]

I have used a simple, "Well, I might be dead now if I hadn't stopped eating that stuff." Then I give a very serious look that says I'm telling the truth.

[frenchiemama]

I just say "Yeah, I guess it's a good thing that I am so much tougher than you are."

[tarnalberry]

The "I'd die if I couldn't have..." comment is really just a way for someone to express that they don't know how to relate to you. It's a bad way, and an insensitive way, but a way. They're not saying that you should eat the offending item, and they're not saying that they'd do so in that situation. They're trying to say "Oh, with our world of gluten-filled products and having eaten these things that we all find so tasty for so long, it's got to be so very difficult to give up all of those foods that we all seem to enjoy so very much," but instead form a sentence that makes them look like a doofus. Well, the nice ones are trying to say that, the mean ones are saying something more like "That seems impossible, why would you even try," but who cares about the mean ones? :-P

[skoki-mom]

As a newbie, when I tell people I have Celiac, and I have to have a gluten free diet for the rest of my life, I often times get "Oh, I'd die if I couldn't eat _________." I struggle with how to respond to their statement. It's pure ignorance on their part. What I might try out is, "Well, I WILL die if I eat __________."

It's so frustrating to hear that response on a consistent basis. I am going to make sure I tell people I have Celiac Disease, hoping that the word "disease" triggers something to get them to realize how serious this is.

Help - any suggestions?

I just shrug and say "it's not worth getting sick/dying over". I don't really know why other people care so much what we eat, or don't eat.

[nikki-uk]

Why not explore gluten free recipies.......self serving, I know. Try what's now, the avenue is open to you.

This site has lots of gluten free good goodies in all avenues. Check it out.

Absolutely!

The longer you are on the G.F diet the more you experiment (trying different flours etc).

There's so many good things to eat G.F,that you don't need to miss it.

G.F can be inconvenient when you're out and you try to eat off the cuff-but with planning your taste buds shouldn't be neglected.

I've made some pretty good cakes and discovered a great pizza base.

As for the insensitives who say such horrible things-ignore them-you've been given the opportunity to correct your health by what you eat (instead of having to take drugs lifelong to remedy it)- and in my opinion,all is not lost-there is chocolate afterall!!

[darlindeb25]

Hi Steve--That saying about falling and skinning your knee--that is from Dr. Peter Green's new book--he says that. Anyways--when you get thoughts such as this from another person, you also must consider the source. Some people truly do want to know what it's all about, some just can't imagine how we do it, and some are just plain obnoxious. When it's a person I feel really wants to know what gluten-free is all about, that's when I relay the story about the pieve of bread. I have used that for a long time and I think it does work for most people. You take one slice of bread and break it into 1000 pieces--it only takes 1 piece, 1/1000th to make a celiac ill---generally, people can get an idea then. Deb

[eKatherine]

I just figure it's all about their own unbalanced diet (for lots of people, wheat is their major dietary component - you see them eating it constantly), their ignorance about the possible range of foods that are eaten, and their lack of imagination.

I think it's really a trivial thing to give up a food that is hurting you when there are so many good foods still available to eat. It's not like there's nothing left to eat, and in fact, it means you're eating a MORE varied diet.

I used being unable to eat wheat as an excuse to skip an office party, because all the food provided was wheat-based (cookies and pizza). Another woman said, well, you can have the pizza that doesn't have wheat in it.

Most people have chosen to live lives of such narrow experiences. They cannot imagine any other way of life and do not want to think about it. I have no cable and don't watch tv, and kids in school tell me all the time that they couldn't (or wouldn't want to) live without television. Go figure.