The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

I like to talk to strangers, too, in fact, in our local Starbucks (we've had this discussion, it's too far to get to a real coffee house from suburbia), I even know all the employees.

AAAAAAAHHHHHH!! I was just emailing yesterday w/ this guy who worked at the best Santa Cruz coffeehouse. 1st met him in my great days of '05, and he has a band, and it turns out will be finishing the new album in Sept and it suddenly looks like I'll be on a record again!

[elye]

What?! What?! I've missed so much!! What record? You're a singer, Tom? A guitarist? ...The Thompson Twins...no, it can't be....

[tom]

What?! What?! I've missed so much!! What record? You're a singer, Tom? A guitarist? ...The Thompson Twins...no, it can't be....

YES! You heard of us!!

LMAO no no no . . .. ... I mostly play tenor sax. Some bands I've been in had a shot at real success but it didn't go that way.

I'm an Elec Engr; silicon valley chip type.

[tom]

THE ORIGINAL HOLLYWOOD SQUARES!!

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes.

Don Knotts:

Vincent Price:

Marty Allen

Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

George Gobel

Charley Weaver: His feet

Too funny! I remember seeing all of them except Barney Fife.

Ole Georgie was quite awhile ago. He was probably 1st to pass, but I can picture and hear him perfectly.

And who can't hear Paul Lynde doing those lines??

. . . . and I have proposed the idea of operating a dating service from their store........with a sign, The Counselor is IN....... We think we're quite funny.

Hehehehe

How Lucy Van Pelt of you!!

My mom used to love to watch Hollywood Squares ... obviously, back in the 60's,

Carlaaaaaaaaa!! Just how old *can* you make me feel!?

And where, pray, are all the other male posters? This thread reeks of estrogen . . . .

Reeks? Or 'carries the heady fragrance'?

(I'm assuming most of us are pre-menopausal)

Well, ladies, it's sentences like ^^^that^^^ which make the men mosey.

They've probably peeked in and been too overwhelmed by the lightning-fast wit .

I'm leaning towards it being the womanly topics. My phone surfing may actually help w/ this. No big monitor screen to leave the unrelateable never-need-to-knows viewable whilst reading the rest.

It's more applicable on OMG I suppose, but wherever - some scrolling is 'the faster the better'.

Emily! Why have you decided to freak me out w/ that avatar!? Did I miss an explanation? Is it one of those things everyone knows but me?

We have devotees of Posh? Am I the only one who finks she looks like an'ookah??

[tom]

That would be much cheaper and much less frustrating than a wife ... but wives are still more fun.

....OK Tom, don't you ever watch Big Love on HBO (Bill Paxton, Jean Triplehorn). He has three wives and NEVER does housework. We are ONLY your VIRTUAL wives!

Sheesh, I have enough trouble being an actual wife...now I'm virtual one, too?

What the . . . . .

Bev? Carla?

Where has this come from!!

My brain hurts!!!

<oh and my virtual cybershelf needs dusting>

STOP THAT!! You'll just encourage them!

[elye]

I dunno where the wifey-stuff began...I sensed it's been an old theme (like, fifty pages or so long), generated from the fact that you, Tom, are the only man standing in this "headily fragranced" sea. I assume it's been this way for most of this wild thread (although I do notice that this whole saga was begun by Triticus Toxicum--now THERE was a funny, funny guy--what became of him? Truly miss his posts!)

My avatar is a shot of my dad as "Barth" on You Can't Do That On Television. I started another thread, asking who in the world watched this show in its heyday (80s and early 90s), as it was simply a great little Ottawa production that was rumoured to be picked up and shown throughout the world. We never knew how true that was, although my dad still gets residuals from reruns being shown in places like Mongolia and Tripoli. If you liked Laugh-in, you'd a loved this show.

Please tell me you see NO resemblance between me and said father...

Paul Lynde in that centre square...a truly witty man.

[Mtndog]

OK- o more wives for Tom. We are ALL simultaneously divorcing you so you can dust off your cyber-shelf (sounds somewhat strange to me )

I MISS RICHARD (TRITICUS TOXICUM) too- so much. That guy was SO funny. He was not easily scared by our "heady scent' as he had a wife and 2 daughters. But, he had the AUDACITY to get a job that did not allow hime to play on the computer at work.

He used to regale us with tales of his daughter Olivia swinging from chandeliers and he fully supported my cosmo drinking, trampoline jumping habit which I WAS notorious for. Cosmos are out now (no alcohol for Blimey Lymies) as are trampolines (Lyme bacteria does NOT like to jump up and down )

but I assure you that once I am down with abx, I will:

1. sip many tasty cosmos and pretend I am on Sex and the City (I think I would be Charlotte but I'd RATHER be samantha- she was a hot SH#*t!)

2. Allow myself to be strapped into harness at Topsfield fair so that I can jump on a trampoline up to 40 feet in the air. One of the coolest things I've ever down.

[elye]

Bev, what is a cosmo?

I have often thought that I would love to patent an adult jolly-jumper for commercial/recreational use. Not some big, industrial thing for parachutists or Olympic ski-jumpers, but something you could install in a (big) rec room and bounce around in. You could install two, and work out bouncing routines with spouse. Both my kids as babies always looked so HAPPY as they jumped up and down in these great contraptions, and I remember looking wistfully at them and thinking, "Man...I wanna be in one of those".

[tom]

I dunno where the wifey-stuff began...I sensed it's been an old theme (like, fifty pages or so long), generated from the fact that you, Tom, are the only man standing in this "headily fragranced" sea. I assume it's been this way for most of this wild thread

It *was* all written as if it were an old theme!!

Maybe it was, but *I'VE* never seen it before.

All I can testify to is the last 20 pages or so.

Besides, Richard, The Creator (hehe), I don't even know what other guys have been regulars.

My avatar is a shot of my dad as "Barth" on You Can't Do That On Television.

Heyyyyyyyyyy, I DO remember that the show was on in U.S., but I was watching very little tv back then, except of course NFL & NBA. (Yes!!! It's an "of course"!!! )

Please tell me you see NO resemblance between me and said father...

<your wish is my command>

Wow Emily!!! There's . .. .like . . .. ZERO resemblance whatsoever!!

Were you adopted?

OK- o more wives for Tom. We are ALL simultaneously divorcing you so you can dust off your cyber-shelf (sounds somewhat strange to me )

"o more wives"? Heehee I nope it's "no" and not "10".

And sheesh - 1st the talk is no virtual housework for me, and now I can't even get a measly virtual shelf virtually dusted???

I MISS RICHARD (TRITICUS TOXICUM) too- so much. That guy was SO funny. He was not easily scared by our "heady scent' as he had a wife and 2 daughters. . . .

He used to regale us with tales of his daughter Olivia swinging from chandeliers

Wish I'd already quit the soy and been here for some Richard regalings!!!

(I'm up for any true tales that start w/ "there's this chandelier, secured sturdily enough to swing on, . . . .")

[CarlaB]

Carlaaaaaaaaa!! Just how old *can* you make me feel!?

Yeah, right, you're like, what, a year older than I am????

1. sip many tasty cosmos

Definately on my list, too!!! Also, Mojitos and a good ol' Jack and Coke.

Bev, what is a cosmo?

They're vodka, triple sec, and cranberry juice martinis. Switch the triple sec to champagne, and add some pineapple juice and you've got a flirtini, my personal favorite!

[tom]

Yeah, right, you're like, what, a year older than I am????

Haha yeah I know I know! (Just one yr?)

But I don't remember MY mom watching HWsqrs, I remember ME watching it.

[elye]

I avidly remember watching HS, and Tom, if you were watching the NBA and NFL from 1980, I imagine you're a wee bit older than I...

Are you old enough to have had a (shudder) mullet back then?

[Mtndog]

They're vodka, triple sec, and cranberry juice martinis. Switch the triple sec to champagne, and add some pineapple juice and you've got a flirtini, my personal favorite!

OMGAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can's stand it.....I LOVE flirtinis. Yum yum yum yum!

Tom- If you had a mullet, no worries as I had a "Pat Benatar" in 1982- replete with blonde streak.

[elye]

I think I wanna go back to the good ol' days when a drink was a DRINK...when vodka martinis were vodka, maybe an olive, and NOTHIN' ELSE. Being celiac and diabetic, I could have free reign with those. I simply have to stay away from grand marnier, triple sec, grenadine, all that stuff. I remember my parents' big house parties where everybody was slinging back these drinks. How'd the guests ever get home? And I'd be upstairs on my parents' bed, watching Hollywood Squares...

[tom]

I avidly remember watching HS, and Tom, if you were watching the NBA and NFL from 1980, I imagine you're a wee bit older than I...

Are you old enough to have had a (shudder) mullet back then?

Behehbleheh<SHUDDER> is right!!

No no me & the mulleteers didn't mix much.

But I can't run away from a history of very short shorts, 'members only' jacket, and too many concerts I have no pride in.

Oh! and the *most* ridiculous big-heeled chunky clunky 'dress' shoes in maybe 6th grade.

Concerts that I went to on PURpose, buying tickets for etc, but that I have no interest in remembering would include, but not be limited to, Styx, Kansas, Journey, Toto (in a club), Molly Hatchet, Foreigner, Eddie Money. And also saw Exile, Pablo Cruise & others as opening acts. <double shudder>

Luckily, the list of concerts I loved is at least as long.

Hmmm so "You Can't Do That on TV" was 1980?

I'm not sure how watching NFL in '80 is a good clue to age. I was watching the NFL in '70 also!!! (8 yrs old btw, to quell the mystery)

OHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Bev as Pat Benetar?!! Have you an old pic & new scanner??

P.S. Hehehehehe can ANY of you claim to have not worn leg-warmers??

[CarlaB]

Haha yeah I know I know! (Just one yr?)

But I don't remember MY mom watching HWsqrs, I remember ME watching it.

Umm, I don't know, what year were you born?

Reading these HS humor, I can now understand why I didn't get it back then. My mom would watch while cleaning the house, cooking, whatever, and I'd be stuck watching it, too. I liked Paul Lynde and Rose Marie.

Are you old enough to have had a (shudder) mullet back then?

Mullets were WAY COOL back then!!

I remember my parents' big house parties where everybody was slinging back these drinks. How'd the guests ever get home?

They DROVE, of course! My parents had those parties, too. Everyone dressed to the hilt! Now you have a party and everyone wears jeans.

P.S. Hehehehehe can ANY of you claim to have not worn leg-warmers??

I had those.

[nikki-uk]

P.S. Hehehehehe can ANY of you claim to have not worn leg-warmers??

Pink ones

[Mtndog]

Pink ones

Black ones with pink parachute pants and pink ones with black parachute pants.

[elye]

Didn't have a mullet, didn't have a pair of leg warmers. But I DID wear (gad!) tube tops and I sure had perms...Man, those Toni home-perms...

[tom]

Black ones with pink parachute pants and pink ones with black parachute pants.

Oh nooooooooo I did NOT need a reminder of some ridiculous 1984 nylon white & black (aargh I don't know the right clothes words) non-parachute but FAR too of-the-moment-trendy for me pants that the band manager/kilo cola dealer paid for in an attempt to revamp the band's image to get more label attn.

P.S. Should I clean up the "associating w/ known criminals" part of the above?

[DingoGirl]

ahem, may I PROUDLY say, I never owned, nor wore a pair, of legwarmers.

However. Did own and wear Dittos (7th grade) and Jordache (early high school) jeans.

also - now this is the worst of all, folks -

did own and briefly wear a pair of

clear plastic slides.

Heinous.

and in other news: presently am wearing gym clothing sweaty and dirty, covered in light layer of dog hair (just took dogs to vet), and with a slight canine stink, this is EXACTLY I am going to my neighborhood pub to meet the girls. Probably the ONLY time that cute guys will be there.

[nikki-uk]

Black ones with pink parachute pants and pink ones with black parachute pants.

Oh you fashionista you.

But I DID wear (gad!) tube tops and I sure had perms...Man, those Toni home-perms...

BOOB TUBES!! (I alway's lacked the most important body part to wear these )

However. Did own and wear Dittos (7th grade) and Jordache (early high school) jeans.

also - now this is the worst of all, folks -

clear plastic slides.

No idea what any of these are Susie , - but I imagine that they are on par with mullets & leg warmers

and in other news: presently am wearing gym clothing sweaty and dirty, covered in light layer of dog hair (just took dogs to vet), and with a slight canine stink, this is EXACTLY I am going to my neighborhood pub to meet the girls. Probably the ONLY time that cute guys will be there.

YES!! indeed - 'tis written in the stars that dirty, stinking gym attire WILL be worn when hot men are in the vicinity (unwritten LAW)

[elye]

Oh, Susan! You're introducing a new scent to the thread! A "slight canine stink" is where I often feel at home, having had many huge, stinky dogs through my lifetime. Dog stink mingling with the estrogen reek...are we primed for this?

[Mtndog]

I got this one from Metta:

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER:

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the

meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's

roommate, Jennifer, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and

Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she

started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met

the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be

thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your

mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find that beautiful silver

gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well,

I doubt it, bu! t I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down

and

wrote:

Dear Mom:

I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm

not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains

that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that

read:

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that

you "do not" sleep with Jennifer but the fact remains that if Jennifer

is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

[tom]

. . . . if Jennifer

is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

BEV!!!! LOL That's fantastic!! :lol: <gasp>