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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
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avatar changed. Limping Weasel. harrumph. I hate our vet, BTW, gotta find a new one (the surgery - totally unnecessary and in fact you CAN do a needle asprirate or biopsy on tumoUrs/lumps JUST AS I THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! :angry:

...please put down the weapon and step away from the edge...

RICHARD! We are so sorry for your loss. Sending Wayne Newton STAT - he's coming right after the phuneral.

<reaches for pocket knife>

and THERE you are in your AV! methinks he looks like.....Joey Fatone? someone? I can't QUITE put my finger on it......................

My grandfather. I look like my grandfather...odd that you should know him

:huh:

I'll get the sidewalk chalk out tout suite - - direct him to barfing neighboUr - I think they in fact live on same street.....BRILLIANT idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I once again pose the question...is the fence for the protection of the residents, or the general public? :huh:

So I guess LANCE is now coming to our wedding parade bacchanalia. But then....who will Yeti have for his date? :huh:

...another reason to not look like Joey Fatone... :(

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
I pictured our World Vision sponsored child (from Bolivia, eight year-old boy) as little, skinny, olive skin, black longish hair. We finally got a pic of him. Heavy, light hair and skin...looks fairly affluent, actually. :huh: Hmmmmmm...

:o hmmmmmmmmmm indeed! a "heavy" World Vision child? Is he perhaps putting your good money toward expensive Air Jordans? or a new Ipod?

The yeti can go with Mary Kate . . . she just needs to borrow Ashley's hairy coat.

Yes Janet, universal EWWWWWWWWW. Tired of Lance switching and rejecting all of his blondes. and yes, we'll give the hairy coat to Mary Kate - Yeti won't know the difference.

Poor amanda......all of these last-minute additions to the seating chart....the girl will go mad. :huh:

My grandfather. I look like my grandfather...odd that you should know him

:huh:

:o why yes, it's all coming back to me.................... he's been hanging around gated communities in the Fresno area, hasn't he!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

the gate/brick wall - - hard to tell - whether to keep its sterile residents enclosed.....or the

truly mad from getting in...............

p'raps a little of both....aside from cOeliac self-mutilating wanderer (shall I invite him in today? I MUST know his story) and barfing neighbors, everyone's the same here..........................drives me MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :blink:

:huh:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
avatar changed. Limping Weasel. harrumph. I hate our vet, BTW, gotta find a new one (the surgery - totally unnecessary and in fact you CAN do a needle asprirate or biopsy on tumoUrs/lumps JUST AS I THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! :angry:

If it makes you feel any better . . . our first dog was a lumpy dog. One of the lumps was "funny". They did the needle biopsy and said it was OK. Then a little while later when it still wasn't acting right, they decided they needed to take it out. It was still OK - we just ended up having to pay for both procedures and who's to say that if they had left it in that it wouldn't have turned into something not good at all . . .

Janet - a candy hangover. OMG. I ahve an ersatz blue-coloUred ice cream hangover. ugh. It was really hard to hand out the ice cream, so I just ate it. :huh:

What's the big deal, just drop a scoop into each open bag. :rolleyes:

OK - so now I have a gross story to tell you. We have had a lot of poop conversations at our house. Did you go poop today? Was it all together or a bunch of little pieces? Did it float or sink? Now I get totally unsolicitated information yelled from the bathroom. MoM!! I went poop!!! It's green!! What does that mean???!! And I yell back: It means you ate blue ice cream yesterday!!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Oh....so...that isn't Susie in her avatar?

Speaking of avatars--I'm always so amused at how completely inaccurate my mental picture is of a person when I've never seen them. Richard, you are NOTHING like I pictured you. I've been seeing a big guy (like, linebacker-type), fair hair, regular features, perhaps a beard now that I think of it...I'm always way off. I pictured our World Vision sponsored child (from Bolivia, eight year-old boy) as little, skinny, olive skin, black longish hair. We finally got a pic of him. Heavy, light hair and skin...looks fairly affluent, actually. :huh: Hmmmmmm...

Linebacker! :P

Punter maybe! :lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
MoM!! I went poop!!! It's green!! What does that mean???!! And I yell back: It means you ate blue ice cream yesterday!!

:lol:

I have those conversations here, too. Only, no one answers back. :lol:

SARAH thinks she's a bad mother because there was a half-liter of chocolate vomit. I say, BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sign of a really good day, the chocolate-y vomit. :rolleyes:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
:o why yes, it's all coming back to me.................... he's been hanging around gated communities in the Fresno area, hasn't he!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

...er, he's been dead since 1988, so that might confirm the zombie angle. The only way to tell for sure (aside from a cheek swab) is to offer him your car. If he drives on the extreme right of the road at a steady 25 mph it is likely gramps. (I think he still owes some folks a new mailbox)

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Hey Richard, how long ago was that picture of you and RG taken? He was looking quite pale there. He must have already started his downhill slide.

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TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Hey Richard, how long ago was that picture of you and RG taken? He was looking quite pale there. He must have already started his downhill slide.

I can't recall. He visited almost every day. Like clockwork. i think that particular picture was taken some happy hour at the local pub. The gang and i convinced him to join us for some brews and Emerald nuts. He probably looks pale relative to me and my George Hamilton tan. :rolleyes:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
I can't recall. He visited almost every day. Like clockwork. i think that particular picture was taken some happy hour at the local pub. The gang and i convinced him to join us for some brews and Emerald nuts. He probably looks pale relative to me and my George Hamilton tan. :rolleyes:

You just THOUGHT you had a George Hamilton tan . . .

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
You just THOUGHT you had a George Hamilton tan . . .

Now THAT was an evening I'd rather forget!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
Now THAT was an evening I'd rather forget!

You'ld rather forget or you actually can't remember?

And WTH is that?

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
You just THOUGHT you had a George Hamilton tan . . .

Gawd!!! ....everyone thinks they looked tanned until they stand next to him :rolleyes:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
You'ld rather forget or you actually can't remember?

And WTH is that?

Oh, I remember it all too well. If you ever run into GH in your travels, and he offers to show you his tanning bed - JUST SAY NO! I'll leave it at that.

...and THAT is the newest GMO Butterball (note the abnormally large breasts) :o

<-------------------------------------

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Gawd!!! ....everyone thinks they looked tanned until they stand next to him :rolleyes:

You can actually get a tan BY STANDING NEXT TO HIM! :o

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
OK - so now I have a gross story to tell you. We have had a lot of poop conversations at our house. Did you go poop today? Was it all together or a bunch of little pieces? Did it float or sink? Now I get totally unsolicitated information yelled from the bathroom. MoM!! I went poop!!! It's green!! What does that mean???!! And I yell back: It means you ate blue ice cream yesterday!!

Oh... my... gah... that so sounds like my house! Well, add into the shouted info- Mom, I was really fast, but I missed a little bit! :o<_<

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

OMG - I just realized who Richard looks like (and I don't mean the chicken (?) photo........

it's my friend Lauren's ex-boyfriend Chad in Monterey!!!!!!!!! :o

Which begs the next question............

OMG - Richard/Chad - are you not ALSO in the witness protection program, hiding out in some small town in NY? And if that be the case - do you THINK you should be posting PHOTOS of yourself for all the world to see?! :blink:

'tis almost time for the Zombie's walk around the 'hood - - significantly cooler today, I will know he is certifiably mad if he's still shirtless...............

:huh:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
...and THAT is the newest GMO Butterball (note the abnormally large breasts) :o

Got you a fine set of moobs

OMG - I just realized who Richard looks like (and I don't mean the chicken (?) photo........

it's my friend Lauren's ex-boyfriend Chad in Monterey!!!!!!!!! :o

Which begs the next question............

OMG - Richard/Chad - are you not ALSO in the witness protection program, hiding out in some small town in NY? And if that be the case - do you THINK you should be posting PHOTOS of yourself for all the world to see?! :blink:

'tis almost time for the Zombie's walk around the 'hood - - significantly cooler today, I will know he is certifiably mad if he's still shirtless...............

:huh:

Tsk! Damn, MY life is sooo boring ....no *shirtless zombies*, no friends whos bf's are in the witness protection programME (who look like/are Richard, one + the same).........really must get out more.........

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
(shall I invite him in today? I MUST know his story)

IN?? You should throw on your oldest dirtiest shirt & pj bottoms and join in on the sidewalk shuffle. :blink:

Ooh! Make it a half-shirt w/ your very own abdomen bandage and say "did they get you too?"

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Ok running all around this morning doing wedding stuff. Fun Fun.....who will take care of CEO Danny at the wedding? He needs a friend too.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
IN?? You should throw on your oldest dirtiest shirt & pj bottoms and join in on the sidewalk shuffle. :blink:

Ooh! Make it a half-shirt w/ your very own abdomen bandage and say "did they get you too?"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

going to sort through old paint clothing now....................but I'm thinking, instead of half-shirt, just a brassiere. Seems more suitable.

NIKKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But you get to live in England.................and you jsut went to TURKEY!!!!!!!!!!! you are the most exotic one amidst us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I just had the most satisfying bowel movement. :rolleyes: (few and far between, folks, what with all the calcium :huh: ) Perhpas popcorn is the key?

:lol:

(well, there's no one HERE to talk about them with, I HAVE to tell you guys!!)

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
OMG - I just realized who Richard looks like (and I don't mean the chicken (?) photo........

it's my friend Lauren's ex-boyfriend Chad in Monterey!!!!!!!!! :o

Which begs the next question............

OMG - Richard/Chad - are you not ALSO in the witness protection program, hiding out in some small town in NY? And if that be the case - do you THINK you should be posting PHOTOS of yourself for all the world to see?! :blink:

I just knew you'd figure it out sooner or later :unsure:

I guess another move is in my near future. Off to roam with the yeti...

'tis almost time for the Zombie's walk around the 'hood - - significantly cooler today, I will know he is certifiably mad if he's still shirtless...............

:huh:

my FAVORITE part of the day!

Do you have any brains in the fridge? Zombies LOVE brains :o Hot dogs will do if you don't have any brains on hand.

I think it may be time for you to strike up a conversation with Mr. Shufflufigus. Who knows, perhaps he's some wealthy old man in the early stages of dementia...it's never too late to meet Mr. Right... :huh:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
IN?? You should throw on your oldest dirtiest shirt & pj bottoms and join in on the sidewalk shuffle. :blink:

Ooh! Make it a half-shirt w/ your very own abdomen bandage and say "did they get you too?"

I can see it now...Thriller in Susie's neighborhood...where's Vincent Price when you need him! :P

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
I can see it now...Thriller in Susie's neighborhood...where's Vincent Price when you need him! :P

Ummmmm . . . . with Robert Goulet (or therebouts) :huh:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Richard, the Witness Protection PrograMME gives you choices as to where you will relocate...Ottawa has been a wonderful new home for me. Can be cool, however...

Bob and Vince aren't together up there...Bob Goulet is in his OWN special place in Heaven, where the beautiful voices go. Ya know, on gossamer wings, cherubic bugling, all that stuff :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
I think it may be time for you to strike up a conversation with Mr. Shufflufigus. Who knows, perhaps he's some wealthy old man in the early stages of dementia...it's never too late to meet Mr. Right... :huh:

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, this is my plan....offering up the plate of what brains I have left to entice, then will charm him with transfixing gab.......

I can see it now...Thriller in Susie's neighborhood...where's Vincent Price when you need him! :P

a confession: :ph34r:

I downloaded "Thriller" onto Ipod yesterday - put it on the "walking" playlist.....excellent walking tempo....it was my paean to Halloween...........

how embarassing.....

Other embarrassing songs on the Ipod:

"Hot in Herre" by - Nelly? (why IS it spelled/pronounced like that? is it his metal teef?)

"wannabe" - Spice Girls

"I want it That Way" - Backstreet Boys (reminds me of my niece, summer when she was 16 and lived with me)

"Rapper's Delight" - The Sugarhill Gang

"Hollaback Girl"

"gettin jiggy with it"

"Bust a Move" - who knows

:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:

and that's the entire list of my embarassing songs.

Good gawd, look at the time...........heading out now............

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