The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

It's been a long time since I could laugh like that. It hasn't been very psillie in my house for a few weeks. We've been having HUGE problems with our son.

Detention does not even work. Nothing works. We're to the point where he is no more than a boarder in our home. We are almost positive he will move out on his 16th B-Day. At which point he is the provinces problem. We have detached ourselves as much as possible.

I feel bad because I was the one who used to try and give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him. This past weekend, he not only lost that trust, he blew it up. I will have a hard time EVER believing a word that comes out his his mouth.

At the same time, since he's moved in (spent the last year at my MIL's) things have been chaos. my wife and I are fighting more, and our poor daughter, she oblivious to the whole thing thank God..

Sorry for venting, but I'm at a loss here

Ryan, I hear you loud and clear!!!!!!

GADS, got a pretty similar thing going on meself.......living with my youngest son is like living with a ticking bomb.....you never know when it's gonna blow....but one thing's for sure ...it always does

My morning was off to a flying start with said devil child REFUSING to go to school unit (HE'S not at a school, they won't have him )...SCREAMING at me and slamming out the house

I SOOoo tried NOT to raise to the bait....but I snapped

OH JOY

...and yes!! my son would LAUGH at detention..get up and walk out probably

Ryan, I think you're right in saying you have to step back/close your mind to it to a degree.... ...as it affects ALL the family.

Methinks there is gravel (er sumfin' else) in her gullet, stuck there.

What???..like geese or summat???

And Bevvy is SO RIGHT.........I need to be in a patchouli-wearing mojito-drinking Big Sur commune wif dogs and trash cans and ground-cover (native plants)

Me & cats come too???

Mygaawd - I have been distinctly unsilly...must snap out of it!!!!!!!!

OH!!!...talking of CHA-CHING Vetinary bills wee Boris is going in tomorrow to be DE - furry peanuted

[elye]

Morning, Sillies!

Wee Boris de-peanutted... . . .....poor chap!

Yes, Jess. . . . you must arrange another surgery of some sort - - something more serious, that requires months, not weeks, of convalescence. Installation of an artificial joint? Brain surgery? Must work on this, I say. . . . . ...... .

Soooozie's trash can is OUTSIDE THE FENCE!!

Dear gawd.. . . ....you've told her, and there has not as yet been a reaction. .. . it's delayed, I fear. Methinks you're gonna have to Bungee the Stepford - - visible trash paraphrenalia is, I am certain, an unendurable torture for this one.. ...

*******Clearing throat*********

Jack's new bodily phact installment:

When frightened, a person produces five times more earwax than normally.

[Mtndog]

Detention does not even work. Nothing works. We're to the point where he is no more than a boarder in our home. We are almost positive he will move out on his 16th B-Day. At which point he is the provinces problem. We have detached ourselves as much as possible.

Sorry for venting, but I'm at a loss here

Oh Ryan- I'm so sorry. Maybe an arse whooping detention? I can't imagine how hard that must be!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What???..like geese or summat??? :unsure:OH!!!...talking of CHA-CHING Vetinary bills wee Boris is going in tomorrow to be DE - furry peanuted

Oh no...sad Boris. Can I send him some newticles? Neuticles?

Jack's new bodily phact installment:

When frightened, a person produces five times more earwax than normally.

This explains a LOT about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jestgar]

*******Clearing throat*********

Jack's new bodily phact installment:

When frightened, a person produces five times more earwax than normally.

OK, How in H*** would they know that????

Do they put people in a room with monitors in their ears and have people in scary masks jump out at them?

Or maybe they just show them what their taxes are gonna be next month.

Or in Susie's case it would just be Stepford looking at her thoughtfully, with purpose...

[elye]

This explains a LOT about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bev!! What in hell?? What does it explain about you?? Do you produce a great deal of earwax, and are also phrequently phrightened? I actually do produce a fair amount meself. . . . . but I do not believe that I spend much time in phear. . . . . ....

Hmmm. . . . . must ponder this. . . . . .. ..

But wait . .....The bigger question, of course, is WHY IN HELL does FEAR cause an explosion in earwax production?? The stuff protects our inner ears, not our entire selves from marauding burglars or stock market crashes or falling on the ice. . .. .... . a rather nonsensical, ineffective trait of the human body. . . . . ..

[Jestgar]

I think it's like sweat, but in your ears.

Do you have more earwax after you run?

Ask Jack to devise a method to measure this for you.

[elye]

Do you have more earwax after you run?

Ewwwwwwww. . . . . Don't particularly wanna know dis. .. .. ......

I'm not usually scared when I run.. . .....

[Mtndog]

Bev!! What in hell?? What does it explain about you?? Do you produce a great deal of earwax, and are also phrequently phrightened? I actually do produce a fair amount meself. . . . . but I do not believe that I spend much time in phear. . . . . ....

Hmmm. . . . . must ponder this. . . . . .. ..

But wait . .....The bigger question, of course, is WHY IN HELL does FEAR cause an explosion in earwax production?? The stuff protects our inner ears, not our entire selves from marauding burglars or stock market crashes or falling on the ice. . .. .... . a rather nonsensical, ineffective trait of the human body. . . . . ..

Once a year I have to go get my ears vacumned out (it tickles and my doctor is cute )

Phear.......naw, just fear itself. Or fear of losing me psilly!!!!!!

[Darn210]

*******Clearing throat*********

Jack's new bodily phact installment:

When frightened, a person produces five times more earwax than normally.

Why would anyone study this?? Who wrote the grant requesting the $$ for the research?? Are the national earwax stores depleted and Jess is the scientists are looking for new ways to restore them??

Sorry to hear about yer son, Ryan . . . and your devil child, too, Nikki . . . this is why I'm not going to let my children grow up . . . that and the fact that the older they get, the older I get.

Poor Boris . . . must now live a nut-free lifestyle.

[elye]

Why would anyone study this??

Why, and HOW?? How do they know it's five times the amount? It's not twice, nor quadruple. .. .. . but five times the amount. What do they use for measurement? WHO do they use??

WHY DOES MY EARWAX INCREASE WHEN I'M SCARED??

... .... . Perhaps to plug up my ears as a primal defense, in case the fright is due to a long stick about to be shoved in my ear. . . . . . .. or maybe to keep me from hearing very frightening news. . . . . .

...Jus' don't get dis. . . . . ....... . .

[Mtndog]

Poor Boris . . . must now live a nut-free lifestyle.

I cackled!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do feel bad for Boris tho. I was so awful when Simon got de-nutted. The vet called to let me know he was OK (Kurt had dropped him off) but I told Kurt that the vet said Simon was a hermaphrodite. NOT FUNNY (to Kurt). Oops.

[nikki-uk]

Poor Boris . . . must now live a nut-free lifestyle.

*chortle*

L'il Bo bo is asleep in the 'carry box' totally unaware of what tomorrow brings ... ..or takes

Why, and HOW?? How do they know it's five times the amount? It's not twice, nor quadruple. .. .. . but five times the amount. What do they use for measurement? WHO do they use??

WHY DOES MY EARWAX INCREASE WHEN I'M SCARED??

... .... . Perhaps to plug up my ears as a primal defense, in case the fright is due to a long stick about to be shoved in my ear. . . . . . .. or maybe to keep me from hearing very frightening news. . . . . .

....and what does it all mean?????

I cackled!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do feel bad for Boris tho. I was so awful when Simon got de-nutted. The vet called to let me know he was OK (Kurt had dropped him off) but I told Kurt that the vet said Simon was a hermaphrodite. NOT FUNNY (to Kurt). Oops.

Tel is dropping him off in the morn.....he's highly anxious

[Darn210]

Just wanted to post before I get too busy to be on line . . . Friday morning I will leave for my annual girl's trip to Hilton Head. I shall be gone from Friday to Tuesday. I shall drink overpriced pina coladas for all of you.

. . . and here's a question . . . Why is it that when my husband goes on a golf trip with the guys, he packs his bag and leaves?? When I go on a trip, I have to stock the fridge with more than twice as much food as they will eat . . . so that he can readily find something to serve them. All the laundry has to be done. A detailed schedule for each child and the dog must be written out . . . It's sooooo much work to take a few days off.

[Jestgar]

OK, no info on the study, but I found Open Original Shared Link interesting

[Darn210]

OK, no info on the study, but I found Open Original Shared Link interesting

"People with wet wax have more body odour, as they tend to sweat more. It is therefore reasonable to assume that people with dry earwax are sexually more attractive or have more sex appeal on account of reduced sweat and body odour. "

[Mtndog]

Tel is dropping him off in the morn.....he's highly anxious

My sister's hubby was so anxious he never got their male DOBERMAN fixed Luckily, he's a lover with people and kids but his main goal in life is to hump every dog he sees And let me tell ya, Dobie um...peanuts are very very very odd looking :unsure:

"People with wet wax have more body odour, as they tend to sweat more. It is therefore reasonable to assume that people with dry earwax are sexually more attractive or have more sex appeal on account of reduced sweat and body odour. "

:lol: Well apparently I'm waxy, sweaty, smelly and sexually unattractive :lol:

Gianknit- HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

Ask Jack to devise a method to measure this for you.

*snort*

Yes - Jack can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phear.......naw, just fear itself. Or fear of losing me psilly!!!!!!

You will nevah, NEVAH lose yer psilly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'tis a decree (by a former monarch)

Why would anyone study this?? Who wrote the grant requesting the $$ for the research?? Are the national earwax stores depleted and Jess is the scientists are looking for new ways to restore them??

pseriously

Nut-free lifestyle

POOR BORIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it'll only hurt for a couple of days.......

Just wanted to post before I get too busy to be on line . . . Friday morning I will leave for my annual girl's trip to Hilton Head. I shall be gone from Friday to Tuesday. I shall drink overpriced pina coladas for all of you.

:JEALOUSFACE:

well, have fun! you deserve it after all the heinous WORK you've had to do just to get away....

OK, no info on the study, but I found Open Original Shared Link interesting

exudate!

<new word - susie is pleased>

"People with wet wax have more body odour, as they tend to sweat more. It is therefore reasonable to assume that people with dry earwax are sexually more attractive or have more sex appeal on account of reduced sweat and body odour. "

that made me kinda sick

:lol: Well apparently I'm waxy, sweaty, smelly and sexually unattractive

been meaning to tell you......

You know, I have more ear wax in me left ear than me right. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?????? Right ear seems completely dry, but occasionally I can feel sumfin' in my left. Of course, I attack them with the ill-advised Qtip every morning (and as we know EVERY doctor always says to NEVER stick anything smaller than yer elbow in yer ear - - Shyeah, right )

[elye]

Ewwwww....sticky, gunky, smelly earwax......

Gross me RIGHT out the door... ... ... .........

Must reread this article carefully tomorrow - - 'tis too late now.. . ...all this talk of ethnic proclivity toward thick/runny/gummy earwax.. .. .... :nauseaface:

[Green12]

Thanks to Jack for yet another phascinating phact!!!!

I stick the ol' q-tip in the ear too I know that is a big NO-NO, but sometimes me ears itch deep down in there........and it does clean some of the wax out

Not sure Susie what having more wax in one ear over the other means maybe you are tilting your head too much to one side??

Hi Ryan, sorry about the troubles you are having with your son BUT very glad you had a few laughs here in Sillyville!

Wee Boris gets the snip snip tomorrow, or cut cut, or whatever they do YIKES!

Be brave young kitty!

Janet, have PHUN on yer trip to Hilton Head!!!!!! How very exctiting

[elye]

Good morning, Sillies!

I was out wif me hot tubbing gals last evening, not tubbing. .. ...just a 40th birthday celebration for one of us. My girlfirend cooked roast beef, and as we were leaving someone asked her what spices she'd used on it, as it was truly incredible. She then mentioned that she had dabbed some Lea and Perrins on the meat before cooking it . (Worchestershire sauce, in Canada, has malt in it). Sooooooooo . ....... . . ..she apologised all over the place when I told her that the sauce has gluten in it (but that I should be fine.........right....), saying she takes real pride in being careful with gluten-free cooking. Bah.

Well, this morning I'm crampy and poopy.

But it was worth it.. . . . . .a great night. We solved all the problems of the world.

You know, women should absolutely be running this planet.

[Jestgar]

But without all the strife caused by men, where would all the fun be?

[nikki-uk]

Emily!!!.....sorry about yer glutening

I must say the dogs on deck look splendiferous!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta pick Boris up in about an hour (sans furry peanuts).....

[DingoGirl]

Not sure Susie what having more wax in one ear over the other means maybe you are tilting your head too much to one side??

must ponder this.....

You know, women should absolutely be running this planet.

lots of cattiness and back-stabbing, though....depending on which women....gads, we may just have one running things here soon....and BTW I am SO jealous that you Canucks have FOUR parties running for government! The two here drive me crazy (and no, I am not a libertarian, just more of a moderate )

Oh! Heinous about the worce-ster-shire (can't spell that word to save me life)

and yes, the dogs DO look phab on the deck!

Boris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, STAY STRONG WEE KITTEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nikki-uk]

Boris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, STAY STRONG WEE KITTEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I said to him when I left the vets ...

Be strong Bo BO!!!....STAY ALIVE!!!!.....I WILL find you my wee kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The vet looked at me like this

(BTW..most disappointed nay hot vets.....female Polish vet today )

[elye]

(BTW..most disappointed nay hot vets.....female Polish vet today )

Does she look like this?

Open Original Shared Link

Um. .. . . if so, ya may wanna check up on wee Boris. .. . .. . .like, now. . . . . ..

***** No offence intended toward ANY elderly Polish ladies********