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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Hoo boy.....off come Peanut's peanuts. . . ...... :rolleyes:

Li'l P!! :lol:

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harp1 Apprentice
harp1
Posted

phreaky commercial = the cyclops are taking us over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

Susan

ps it's 16 degrees in Atl, VERY unusual

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
phreaky commercial = the cyclops are taking us over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

Susan

ps it's 16 degrees in Atl, VERY unusual

the cyclops are NUTTY! (but not PEE-nutty :lol: )

16 in Atlanta? :unsure:

Um - sillies - don't hate me but it was a record 74 degrees and pure sun here, two days in a row.........

but rain for a few days and "cold" coming tomorrow (Soozle is PLEEZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :)

We really miss our Li'l Pee-gnut :wub: but it IS awfully nice and calm here :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Um - sillies - don't hate me but it was a record 74 degrees and pure sun here, two days in a row.........

It's expected to go down to 6 tonight here :o<_<

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Em! Is that yer snaugh-y house?

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
but rain for a few days and "cold" coming tomorrow (Soozle is PLEEZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :)

<_< cold? like, 60?

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
It's expected to go down to 6 tonight here :o<_<

I got you beat! :P .......down to 1 degree tonite. But snaux will start melting this weekend.....predictions of flooding :ph34r:

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
I got you beat! :P .......down to 1 degree tonite. But snaux will start melting this weekend.....predictions of flooding :ph34r:

Yeah--it going to hit near 60 by Sunday...... :blink:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

G'mornin', Psills!

Well, now, we didn't have a psnoaough report from Nikerler yesterday, did we? Sounds like another storm is brewing over the eastern Atlantic and could dump on those poor blokes again .. . ....... . I joke about it, but I really do feel for communities that get that kind of big disruption in their lives, as it is unheard of there and therefore they are not prepared.

Gad. Can you imagine yer kids unexpectedly and suddenly home from school for a WEEK?? :o:wacko:

Yep, that is my Spnaoughhouse. Last winter (6 cm from the all-time psnaoughfall record) one could not see most houses from the road. Calvin would have made armies, I tell you!

flourgirl Apprentice
flourgirl
Posted

Joke for the day...maybe not a "joke" joke, but phunny. I love this guy :lol:

This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Joke for the day...maybe not a "joke" joke, but phunny. I love this guy :lol:

:lol::lol: Yep, Dave Barry is one of the phunniest humans alive. . . . . . .

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Sillies!!

I am now a Comcast customer sillies! I got all hooked up last night and surfed on the web in my house!!! Yea!!!! So exciting...you never really know how much you will miss it.

I am conjuring a trip to visit my mom this Saturday- I want to see Silvia so bad. I may go skiing but not so sure, There is an awful lot of banging around in the hallway outside our office--time to investigate!

Maybe my sillies are having a parade today!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Yes! Amanda has been plucked form the void!!

"...bowels travel into the future..." :lol: :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
Yes! Amanda has been plucked form the void!!

"...bowels travel into the future..." :lol: :lol:

LOL--love it love it!

flourgirl Apprentice
flourgirl
Posted

Yay Manda! Recovering from disconnection withdrawal! May you always and forever more be totally connected!~~~~~ :lol: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~ ;)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Amanda clawed her way out of the phorumless abyss!!!!!!!!!!!!

GUYS, me computer is running so SLOW today, it's all I can do NOT to unplug it, put it in the car and THROW IT OUT (whilst doing 90mph on a motorway)

GAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! :angry::angry:

The snauogh???....nearly all gone in these parts......it's moved to the midlands....although the pavements sidewalks are TREACHEROUS!!!

THICK compacted snow = ice

It all looks dirty now :ph34r::lol:

Trying to bid on some bits on Ebay (with monies from recent 'tatt' sold) with this STUPID computer!!!!!!!!!

:frustratedface:

I shall attempt to come back later...........

flourgirl Apprentice
flourgirl
Posted

Niknik.....did you try shutting down and restarting your computer? Are you phone lines (DSL) or cable? Either way I don't think high traffic could slow you down that much. Perhaps you need to run a virus scan. Whatever it is I hope it resolves easily!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Wonder if Mr. Peanut is nutless yet?

Psoooze, like me, your home will be a nut-free enviornment. . . . ... ..'tis good...

:lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
Wonder if Mr. Peanut is nutless yet?

Psoooze, like me, your home will be a nut-free enviornment. . . . ... ..'tis good...

:lol:

Is your husband aware of this plot?

:ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Wonder if Mr. Peanut is nutless yet?

Psoooze, like me, your home will be a nut-free enviornment. . . . ... ..'tis good...

:lol:

Mygawd EM!!!!!!!!!!.......... how did Will and the ripper feel about this?? :blink:

I believe P kiddy is home (according to Pseuzhee's spacebook status) and possibly looking like this---------> :blink:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Mygawd EM!!!!!!!!!!.......... how did Will and the ripper feel about this?? :blink:

:lol::lol: Hmmmm. .. of the four-legged variety, to be sure. . . . ...

Castration of human family members would, indeed, have to transpire for a truly nut-free enviornment, 'tis true. . . . . .,.....

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Amanda's connected

Bowels traveling into the future

Nut-free environments

and a slow computer....

.......that's it?????????? <_<

Not even 2 pages!??????

Maybe I need to make a Royal Proclamation or summat.....hmmmmm........

As Your Royal Highness Queen Leesah of Psillyville, I hereby proclaim.....no...too pompous :huh:

I demand that............no....too harsh :ph34r:

All psillies are hereby ordered.........no....no...no.... :unsure:

Psillies!!!!!......Come back and entertain your Queen tout de suite!!!!!! ................please!! :mellow:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Psillies!!!!!......Come back and entertain your Queen tout de suite!!!!!! ................please!! :mellow:

YES!!! What our Royal Highness said!! Where is everybody??

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
YES!!! What our Royal Highness said!! Where is everybody??

Goin a bed. Night!

:P

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

HEY! :):)

Eight days, fifteen hours, and two minutes until the starting pistol for......

The Yukon Quest!!!!!

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