Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author

Submitted for your approval...Open Original Shared Link as you've never heard it before.

I caught this on PBS last night (suffered through the pledge drive and everything!) I've seen them before on commercials and such, but thought the looked pretty lame...I stand corrected. The put on quite a show! They are coming to a city nearby, but tickets are almost $100 a seat! Yikes! Maybe I'll rent a DVD and paint my face instead :P

check out "Open Original Shared Link"

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Submitted for your approval...Open Original Shared Link as you've never heard it before.

I caught this on PBS last night (suffered through the pledge drive and everything!) I've seen them before on commercials and such, but thought the looked pretty lame...I stand corrected. The put on quite a show! They are coming to a city nearby, but tickets are almost $100 a seat! Yikes! Maybe I'll rent a DVD and paint my face instead :P

check out "Open Original Shared Link"

I gotta tell you...I've seen the Blue Man rock tour......our next door nieghbor's best friend Eric Gebow (sp?) is the drummer. It will blow your socks off! They are mesmerizing!

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

I watched it over and over.... how cool.

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

They are so crazy cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two more jokes from my funny uncle:

Kids

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out, and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

The second kid says, "Whoa, good luck buddy! I had that done when I was born.

Couldn't walk for a year.

#2

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you

know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says , "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Submitted for your approval...Open Original Shared Link

It looks great doesn't it??

I had the opportunity to see these through my son's youth club in the west end (London) ...but I know it'll be too noisy for him.... so we're going to see Mary Poppins instead ;)

Would have preferred Blue Man Group myself <_< , but hey..who doesn't like Mary Poppins!!?? :blink:

Superb jokes Bev!! :lol::lol: (your uncle sounds a scream!)

gfp Enthusiast
gfp
Posted

If anyone noticed my long posts :ph34r:

Open Original Shared Link

Yes this is ME....

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Superb jokes Bev!! :lol::lol: (your uncle sounds a scream!)

And to boot, he's like 76!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
If anyone noticed my long posts :ph34r:

Open Original Shared Link

Yes this is ME....

Did you submit that? Too funny! :lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
If anyone noticed my long posts :ph34r:

Open Original Shared Link

Yes this is ME....

Hee - hee :lol::lol:

Well maybe some of your posts have been a tad 'gowatorial' but always a good read!!! ;)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Bev, (as you're a teacher) - can you do Open Original Shared Link?? :blink:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Bev, (as you're a teacher) - can you do Open Original Shared Link?? :blink:

i can't do that but I could do Open Original Shared Link

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Whoa- more reasons not to mess with kids:

(1) A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him"

(2) A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God The teacher: paused andsaid, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

(3) A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?

Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

(4) The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

(5) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching"

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
i can't do that but I could do Open Original Shared Link

Eeek!! :o

Did you read the comments under the article??? :o ... OMG!! :lol::lol:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Eeek!! :o

Did you read the comments under the article??? :o ... OMG!! :lol::lol:

Just did...some of them are :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

I LOVE kids...I always like the toughest, "most annoying" ones the best too! :P

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Check this out: Open Original Shared Link

and.....

Open Original Shared Link

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Chicken CPR (long video)

Open Original Shared Link

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Chicken CPR (long video)

Open Original Shared Link

:lol::lol:

That couple are so funny!!

....there seems to be an (inter)national 'malaise of the funny bone' :unsure:

...but I'm sure it will come back to us all soon :)

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

It had better! We can only rely on chicken jokes so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is SOOOOOO funny!

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted
It had better! We can only rely on chicken jokes so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is SOOOOOO funny!

Terry Bradshaw always cracks me up, even without a chicken!

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

OK -it's not Disco Inferno, it's Open Original Shared Link

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
OK -it's not Disco Inferno, it's Open Original Shared Link

:lol::lol: Love it!!!

What about Open Original Shared Link? They actually had several hit records (all farm related songs) in the UK !! :blink:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
:lol::lol: Love it!!!

What about Open Original Shared Link? They actually had several hit records (all farm related songs) in the UK !! :blink:

That is AWESOME! They are so cute!!!!!

Nikki- Thought of you as last night (after 2 hideous nightmares) I had a dream I was married to Anthony Kiedis. We were having chinese food somewhere with Flea. :blink:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
That is AWESOME! They are so cute!!!!!

Nikki- Thought of you as last night (after 2 hideous nightmares) I had a dream I was married to Anthony Kiedis. We were having chinese food somewhere with Flea. :blink:

Heck Bev!!!...if I ever have a dream about Anthony Kiedis I wanna be doing a bit more than eat chinese!!! :ph34r: (although the fact that you were eating gluteny chinese probably has Freudian overtones ;) )

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Heck Bev!!!...if I ever have a dream about Anthony Kiedis I wanna be doing a bit more than eat chinese!!! :ph34r: (although the fact that you were eating gluteny chinese probably has Freudian overtones ;) )

Oh...I left out the dialogue! :P

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

OK- I'm a dork but this is kind of funny!

Open Original Shared Link

It's darth's brother!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,855
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Tara M
    Newest Member
    Tara M
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • trents
      Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis has taken Me from Me

      By trents · Posted

      Is this man the father of your children?
    • Jillian83
      Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis has taken Me from Me

      By Jillian83 · Posted

      Hi, I was recently diagnosed with Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis after years of suffering without answers. I lost my mind. I lost my job. I lost so much time. I lost Me. Conventional doctors are opulent come near me and the one who did sat across the room, misdiagnosed me, pumped me full of steroids which collapsed my entire hip for 6 months. So without answers I began my holistic journey. Fast forward a couple of years and still struggling with a mysterious whole body itchy, crawling “skin hell”, perfect teeth now deteriorating, thick hair now thinning rapidly and no more than a day or 2 at most relief….An acquaintance opened up a functional medicine practice. Cash only, I found a way. Within a month tests clearly showing my off the charts gluten allergy/sensitivity as well as the depletion of vital nutrients due to leaky gut and intestinal damage. dermatitis herpetiformis was more than likely what I was experiencing with my skin. I was happy. I thought this is easy, eat healthy Whole Foods, follow the diet restrictions and I finally get to heal and feel confident and like myself again very soon! 😔 Supplements are very pricey but I got them and began my healing. Which leads to the other major issue: not working, stay at home Mom of young kids, entirely financially dependent on my man of 7 plus years. He’s never been supportive of anything I’ve ever done or been thru. He controls everything. I’m not given much money ever at a time and when he does leave money it’s only enough to possibly get gas. His excuse is that I’ll spend it on other things. So my “allowance” is inconsistent and has conditions. He withholds money from me as punishment for anything he wants. Since being diagnosed, he’s gained a new control tactic to use as punishment. He now is in control of when I get to eat. He asked for proof of my diagnosis and diet bc he said I made it up just to be able to eat expensive organic foods. Then after I sent him my file from my doctor he then said she wasn’t a real doctor. 😡. I go days upon days starving, sometimes breaking down and eating things I shouldn’t bc I’m so sick then I pay horribly while he gets annoyed and angry bc I’m not keeping up with all the duties I’m supposed to be doing. His abuse turns full on when I’m down and it’s in these desperate times when I need his support and care the most that I’m punished with silence, being starved, ignored, belittled. He will create more of a mess just bc I’m unable to get up and clean so that when I am better, I’m so overwhelmed with chores to catch up that the stress causes me to go right back into a flare from hell and the cycle repeats. I’m punished for being sick. I’m belittled for starving and asking for healthy clean water. I’m purposely left out of his life. He won’t even tell me he’s going to the grocery or to get dinner bc he doesn’t want me to ask him for anything. I have no one. I have nothing. Im not better. My supplements ran out and I desperately need Vitamin D3 and a methylated B complex at the very minimal just to function….he stares at me blankly…no, a slight smirk, no words. He’s happiest when im miserable and I am miserable.  this is so long and im condensing as much as I can but this situation is so complicated and disgusting. And it’s currently my life. The “IT” girl, the healthy, beautiful, perfect skin, perfect teeth, thick and curly locks for days, creative and talented IT girl….now I won’t even leave this house bc Im ashamed of what this has dont to my body, my skin. Im disgusted. The stress is keeping me from healing and I think he knows that and that’s why he continues to keep me in that state. He doesn’t want me confident or successful. He doesn’t want me healed and healthy bc then how would he put the blame of all his problems on me? This journey has been hell and I’ve been in Hell before. I’ve been killed by an ex, I’ve been raped, robbed, held hostage, abused beyond nightmares but the cruelty I’ve experienced from him bc of this disease is the coldest I’ve ever experienced. I’ve wanted to give up. Starving and in tears, desperate…I found a local food pantry in our small town so I reached out just saying I had Celiac and was on hard times. This woman is blessing me daily with prepared gluten free meals, donations, educational info, people who know this disease and how they manage life and the blessings just keep coming. But it’s overwhelming and I feel like I don’t deserve it at all. He just glared and I know he’s going to sabotage it somehow. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m so broken and just want peace and healing. 
    • cristiana
      Ibuprofen

      By cristiana · Posted

      @Colleen H   I am just curious,  when you were tested for coeliac disease, did the doctors find out if you had any deficiencies? Sometimes muscle pain can be caused by certain deficiencies, for example, magnesium, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.   Might be worth looking into having some more tests.  Pins and needles can be neuropathy, again caused by deficiencies, such as iron and B12,  which can be reversed if these deficiencies are addressed. In the UK where I live we are usually only tested for iron, B12 and vitamin D deficiencies at diagnosis.   I was very iron anemic and supplementation made a big difference.  B12 was low normal, but in other countries the UK's low normal would be considered a deficiency.  My vitamin D was low normal, and I've been supplementing ever since (when I remember to take it!) My pins and needles definitely started to improve when my known deficiencies were addressed.  My nutritionist also gave me a broad spectrum supplement which really helped, because I suspect I wasn't just deficient in what I mention above but in many other vitamins and minerals.  But a word of warning, don't take iron unless blood tests reveal you actually need it, and if you are taking it your levels must be regularly monitored because too much can make you ill.  (And if you are currently taking iron, that might actually be making your stomach sore - it did mine, so my GP changed my iron supplementation to a gentler form, ferrous gluconate). Lastly, have you been trying to take anything to lessen the pain in your gut?  I get a sore stomach periodically, usually when I've had too much rich food, or when I have had to take an aspirin or certain antibiotics, or after glutening.  When this happens, I take for just a few days a small daily dose of OTC omeprazole.  I also follow a reflux or gastritis diet. There are lots online but the common denominators to these diets is you need to cut out caffeine, alcohol, rich, spicy, acidic food etc and eat small regularly spaced meals.   When I get a sore stomach, I also find it helpful to drink lots of water.  I also find hot water with a few slices of ginger very soothing to sip, or camomile tea.  A wedge pillow at night is good for reflux. Also,  best not to eat a meal 2-3 hours before going to bed. If the stomach pain is getting worse, though, it would be wise to see the doctor again. I hope some of this helps. Cristiana    
    • Me,Sue
      Knowing what to do when feeling unwell.

      By Me,Sue · Posted

      I was diagnosed with coeliac disease a couple of years ago [ish]. I love my food and a variety of food, so it's been hard, as it is with everyone. I try and ensure everything I eat doesn't contain gluten, but occasionally I think something must have got through that has gluten in. Mainly I know because I have to dash to the loo, but recently I have noticed that I feel nauseous after possibly being glutened. I think the thing that I have got better at is knowing what to do when I feel wiped out after a gluten 'episode'. I drink loads of water, and have just started drinking peppermint tea. I also have rehydration powders to drink. I don't feel like eating much, but eventually feel like I need to eat. Gluten free flapjacks, or gluten free cereal, or a small gluten free kids meal are my go to. I am retired, so luckily I can rest, sometimes even going to bed when nothing else works. So I feel that I am getting better at knowing how to try and get back on track. I am also trying to stick to a simpler menu and eat mostly at home so that I can be more confident about what I am eating. THANKS TO THOSE WHO REPLIED ABOUT THE NAUSEA .
    • Francis M
      The Happy Tart review

      By Francis M · Posted

      Thanks. Since the back and forth and promises of review and general stalling went on for more than six months, the credit company will no longer investigate. They have a cutoff of maybe six months.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.