Trying To Gain Weight...but It's Hard.

[Anonymousgurl]

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[Budew]

I'm with you. I kept a lot of what you expressed to myself for a long time. I am 46. I have always been thin. My husband had an affair and siad it was he desired large women. The whole weight issue came forward like a ton of bricks. After that I was diagnosed celiac and was put on anti anxiety drugs. I gained 70 lbs in 3 months without eating. When I quit taking the drugs I lost it just a quickly. Ireally had to think of my weight and appearance. hat I did for me and what I did for others. There was also a time when no matter what I did I could not gain. All the fat and sugar in the world did not effect it. No I know I was not digesting anything then. That was when I was called anorexic. Sure I did not want to be at but I was not restricting to be thin. I was restricting so I was not ill.

I am 5'6" and weigh 114 now.

After going gluten free I was told to wait to heal. I did not heal. I became more ill. I am now sensitive to many things. I fight to gain eight on my diet ( now meat, grain, legume, nightshade free). Whip cream, butter, and homemade milk shakes are my biggest sources of calories now. I have gained 2 lbs in the last 2 months. I feel like everything I eat is greasy even when I know it is not.

Well hope you don't feel alone. Write me directly if you like. Best of luck.

[Felidae]

I lost so much weight when I was sick that I ended up in the hospital. My heart and my organs weren't functioning correctly, I couldn't maintain my body temperature AT ALL....I was just really, really sick. The whole Celiac thing is really new to me, I mean Im just trying to figure out the diet...but I'm also trying to figure out a weight gain diet as well. I've been on a 2500 calorie diet (which feels like SO MUCH and it's SO difficult) and it's hard to do it while staying gluten free at the same time...and it's emotionally kind of hard as well. I guess what im wondering is...was anyone else NERVOUS to gain the weight back? I know it sounds silly because I know I dont look good when im this sickly thin...but for some strange reason it makes me nervous to be gaining the weight back. I guess I just got so used to being sick that now im nervous to not be sick. And it's kind of like I'm scared that my body is just messed up forever and im always going to have this ugly bloated stomach and skinny arms...it's hard. Does that make any sense to anyone? Well anyways...I'd just love any advice that anyone has on diet, or on dealing with this...or any personal experiences? I guess im just looking for anything that will make this easier.

I've always been thin, so I know how you feel. Five pounds is a ton of weight change for thin people. If you are nervous about gaining weight, try to incorporate exercise into your weight gain routine. Maybe you already do exercise, I'm not sure. Exercising will make you feel good about gaining weight because it will enhance your self image physically and mentally.

[Anonymousgurl]

I'm with you. I kept a lot of what you expressed to myself for a long time. I am 46. I have always been thin. My husband had an affair and siad it was he desired large women. The whole weight issue came forward like a ton of bricks. After that I was diagnosed celiac and was put on anti anxiety drugs. I gained 70 lbs in 3 months without eating. When I quit taking the drugs I lost it just a quickly. Ireally had to think of my weight and appearance. hat I did for me and what I did for others. There was also a time when no matter what I did I could not gain. All the fat and sugar in the world did not effect it. No I know I was not digesting anything then. That was when I was called anorexic. Sure I did not want to be at but I was not restricting to be thin. I was restricting so I was not ill.

I am 5'6" and weigh 114 now.

After going gluten free I was told to wait to heal. I did not heal. I became more ill. I am now sensitive to many things. I fight to gain eight on my diet ( now meat, grain, legume, nightshade free). Whip cream, butter, and homemade milk shakes are my biggest sources of calories now. I have gained 2 lbs in the last 2 months. I feel like everything I eat is greasy even when I know it is not.

Well hope you don't feel alone. Write me directly if you like. Best of luck.

Thank you SO much for sharing your story Burdew. When you said "I was not restricting to be thin, I was restricting so I was not ill"...that made me want to cry...because i feel the EXACT same way. FINALLY, someone that knows how I feel. And I know how it feels to be sensitive to almost ALL foods...I feel like my body is completely messed up, both on the inside and the outside. I'd love to keep talking to you about this because it's such a comfort to know that there is someone else out there with the same issue that I have. What else are you sensitive to? How are you feeling about your appearance at this point? I'm sorry if these questions are too personal...I know that this can be so hard to share...I mean, I could NEVER talk about this with my family or friends. I feel almost embarrassed about ths situation, even though I know that it's not my fault and it's not something that i asked for.

[Lauren M]

I lost so much weight when I was sick that I ended up in the hospital. My heart and my organs weren't functioning correctly, I couldn't maintain my body temperature AT ALL....I was just really, really sick. The whole Celiac thing is really new to me, I mean Im just trying to figure out the diet...but I'm also trying to figure out a weight gain diet as well. I've been on a 2500 calorie diet (which feels like SO MUCH and it's SO difficult) and it's hard to do it while staying gluten free at the same time...and it's emotionally kind of hard as well. I guess what im wondering is...was anyone else NERVOUS to gain the weight back? I know it sounds silly because I know I dont look good when im this sickly thin...but for some strange reason it makes me nervous to be gaining the weight back. I guess I just got so used to being sick that now im nervous to not be sick. And it's kind of like I'm scared that my body is just messed up forever and im always going to have this ugly bloated stomach and skinny arms...it's hard. Does that make any sense to anyone? Well anyways...I'd just love any advice that anyone has on diet, or on dealing with this...or any personal experiences? I guess im just looking for anything that will make this easier.

Oh my goodness dear, do I ever know what you're talking about!

I hate the way I look when I'm too thin, and like the way I look when I'm a more normal weight, but when I became sickly thin, it was very difficult (mentally) for me to allow myself to gain weight again. I desperately wanted to, but held on to the restricting eating patterns I developed as a defense mechanism during my illnesses (pancreatitis, Celiac) - I totally understand what others are saying, as well.

It has been a couple of years since I first sought help for this, and I encourage you to, as well. I know what you mean about having the skinny arms and the bloated tummy - I jokingly refer to it as my "ethiopian look." I am now, however, returning to a fairly normal diet, have managed to gain some weight, and trust me - the weight does distribute itself, you just have to give it some time.

Good luck, keep posting.

- Lauren

[Budew]

I always say I look like a chicken. Ribs begin to stick out. I hate that look. This whole thing is so personal but sharing is the only way to find answers.

How do I feel about how I look? I varies day to day. Compliments help. Generally I'm okay with my appearance. I do think I look older than I am. Sometimes I feel like I look like a monster and don't want anyone to see me. Mostly when my skin gets bad.

Gaining the 70 lbs was an interesting experience. Weighing 140 felt uncomfortable. Clothes pinched and felt tight. I tend to look to the positive. I had cleavage for the first time in my life. That was fun. But weighing that much just was not me. I did not really recognize myself then.

I set a goal of staying between 110 and 120. If it gets close to 110 I eat lots of fat and sugar. It feels a bit like a punishment, I don't really like either one. I will limited them or increase my exercise level if I ever get above 120. 120 just feels normal. Usually I get too sick to eat or I can't keep food down, seems like once a month. Boom back down a few pounds. The highest I can seem to get is 114.

[Anonymousgurl]

Thanks for sharing you guys. Budew, you're definitely right. Sharing is the only way to find answers....and it really just makes me feel better. Haha.

Lauren-Congratulations on what you've achieved. How long did it take for the weight to distribute itself evenly? I can't wait until it gets to these pencil-thin arms. Haha.

Budew- Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot of ups and downs. Sounds like you're doing well now though! May I ask, how tall are you?

[Lauren M]

Thanks for sharing you guys. Budew, you're definitely right. Sharing is the only way to find answers....and it really just makes me feel better. Haha.

Lauren-Congratulations on what you've achieved. How long did it take for the weight to distribute itself evenly? I can't wait until it gets to these pencil-thin arms. Haha.

Budew- Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot of ups and downs. Sounds like you're doing well now though! May I ask, how tall are you?

Ha, it takes awhile to "distribute" - but I do find that when I move around, the bloating "deflates" so to speak. Also, I've been quite active lately, as a waitress on my feet and carrying heavy trays which has CERTAINLY helped my "chicken arms" as I call them - I can't fit my fingers around my bicep anymore! (you may think I'm kidding, but seriously - that's how pathetic my arms were). If you're eating but also active, you can gain weight as muscle, too.

- Lauren