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When Girls Don't Put Out!

Electra

By Electra
in Introduce Yourself / Share Stuff

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Electra Enthusiast
Electra
Posted

WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their "head" and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that B** knows I'm smarter than her.

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blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

LOL :)

2Boys4Me Enthusiast
2Boys4Me
Posted
:lol:
DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

oh my gosh....very funny.....hey, you need to join us on our Tickle Me Elbow thread! it's like this all the time over there.............. ;)

Ashley Enthusiast
Ashley
Posted

...Ehh...

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

This reminds me of the t-shirt I saw once which read

TO ALL YOU VIRGINS ---- THANKS FOR NOTHING!!!

That pretty much told it how it was with those men who wore the shirt.

Then there's the t-shirts for girls: Good girls go to heave (photo of angel praying) BUT Bad girls get taken EVERYWHERE! (and face of joyous girl).

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted
...Ehh...

Yeah, this is not a place for this. There are many teens that frequent this board and others younger.

As Ashley said, ehh. Although, not a prude and I enjoyed the humor, I feel this is a misplaced post.

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Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

delet-duplicate post

Debbie65 Apprentice
Debbie65
Posted

Sorry girls but on the surface this did make me laugh.

However, Electra, I think you`re missing something here.

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