Please Help!

[sillyactsue]

The court wants me to prove that my daughter has gluten sensitivity by her gaining weight off of gluten. She will be 3 in August and is 22lbs. It is not about custody or my parental fitness. It is about whether or not gluten sensitivity should interfer with her father having unsupervised visitations. It is about whether her gluten sensitivity is real or imagined.

So with a doctors report saying that the true test is improvement on the diet in the areas of weight gain, stool consistency and less irritability, the areas she shows symptoms in, the judge lifted restrictions from my husband during supervised visitation saying that I am being to overprotective.

I asked my lawyer that if the only proof is in the results and the if the diet is really as strict as I claim then how am I suppose to prove that she is gluten sensitive if the judge lifts the restrictions?

I asked if a letter from her doctor saying just how strict the diet is on a microscopic level would be enough to convince the judge. He asked and it would. Her doctor is gluten sensitive as is his child so I am not afraid of his answer to the judge.

My problem now, as always, is trying to get her to gain weight. The doctor had wanted her to try diary again and we did for a while but she kept a pimply rash on her bottom and didn't have much appetite. When we took her off dairy her rash cleared up within a week and her appetite increased. She started gaining. On line I was searching for foods that have a lot of calories and foods hi in calcium that her body could use. I started crushing wal-nuts into her rice and a few other things and I would let her eat them as is. I also got greens. Kale, collard greens, and turnip greens and sauteed them in olive oil for her. She ate a lot the first time and wouldn't touch them the second time. The greens and walnuts were given around the same time. She started having melt downs again. Her stool got mushy and she lost her appetite. But she had a mild fever for three days, probably a virus, vomited once during that time and had of course the decrease in appetite.

Fever is gone now. She didn't have a bowel movement yesterday and all she wants to eat is rice and to nurse. I'm not letting her nurse until she has eaten, usually. And this morning I refused to give her rice. Her potato with olive oil, onions and pepperoni is cooling as I type. I wonder if the greens were proccessed where wheat was. I got them at Wal-mart and the collard greens were pre-packaged, ready to eat. I am also wondering if the walnuts which are supposed to be gluten free caused her the same symptoms as getting glutened. Another food sensitivity? And that is another thing. I suspect soy, corn and egg as other foods she is sensitive to. How on earth am I going to get enough calories into her to help her gain weight?

That I guess is my real question. So much is riding on her gaining and improving. Right now my daughter is arguing with me about it being okay for my 19 year old daughter to look at her. I know she is being affected by gluten but when everything is a battle it makes feeding her that much harder.

All advice is welcome

Gloria

[CarlaB]

Gloria, you're in a difficult situation and there's no easy answer.

If your daughter is wanting to nurse, maybe her body is telling her something. Maybe she just needs the closeness to you. If she was just ill, this might be the best thing for her. I want very little food after I've been ill.

For the judge, it seems that you already have your answer ... get the doctor's letter.

I often put the leafy greens into rice or another meal. Not many people like them on their own.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Are you a vegetarian?

If not, salmon is very high in good fats, and extremely nutritious.

My kids always scarfed it down.

They also loved casseroles that I made with Tinkyada rice pasta (or you could just use rice), ground meat, tomato sauce (read labels!) and shredded cheese. You could use non-dairy shredded imitation cheeses, but you must be VERY careful, as most of them do contain casein, which is what most dairy-sensitive people react to. Even the cheeses that call themselves "veggie'shreds" and proclaim that they are lactose-free usually contain casein. It's probably easier to just leave out the shredded cheese. If she is not soy-sensitive, you could stir in some soft silken tofu or some soy imitation sour cream and that will add some nice creaminess.

Almonds tend to be less allergenic than walnuts.

Chick peas are another high-fat, nutritious food.

You can make her rice with coconut milk, and that will add nutrients and fat.

If she can eat gluten-free bread, you can spread it with coconut oil instead of butter.

You need to get that letter from the doctor as soon as possible.

Good luck!

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Are you a vegetarian?

If not, salmon is very high in good fats, and extremely nutritious.

My kids always scarfed it down.

They also loved casseroles that I made with Tinkyada rice pasta (or you could just use rice), ground meat, tomato sauce (read labels!) and shredded cheese. You could use non-dairy shredded imitation cheeses, but you must be VERY careful, as most of them do contain casein, which is what most dairy-sensitive people react to. Even the cheeses that call themselves "veggie'shreds" and proclaim that they are lactose-free usually contain casein. It's probably easier to just leave out the shredded cheese. If she is not soy-sensitive, you could stir in some soft silken tofu or some soy imitation sour cream and that will add some nice creaminess.

Almonds tend to be less allergenic than walnuts.

Chick peas are another high-fat, nutritious food.

You can make her rice with coconut milk, and that will add nutrients and fat.

If she can eat gluten-free bread, you can spread it with coconut oil instead of butter.

You need to get that letter from the doctor as soon as possible.

Good luck!

[gfgypsyqueen]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Best of luck.

As much as I hate to say it, what about chocolate? Empty calories yes, but you need anythign a toddler will eat right now. And mine will do back flips for chocolate. Maybe some peanut butter? Add so Soy Yogurt to help the bowels heal up.

Also try feeding smaller meals every two hours. Give good foods in smaller amounts all day long.

Also, ask your doctor for a caloric booster powder. I don't know the name of it, but the gastro gave it to us for my 2 yr old. It is a powder that you add to juice, milk, etc. and it add calories to the day. I doubt you can buy it over the counter.

Have you ruled out all other reasons/diseases/conditions as to why your child is not gaining weight? CF is a possibility.

[pwalasik]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult situation.

When my daughter needed to pack on the pounds, a dietician recommended spreading high fat butter or olive oil on everything, like gluten-free pasta's toast, crackers before feediing it to her.

I understand dairy is an issue so I guess olive oil would be a better option.

Are there other allergies? My daughter also snacked a lot on peanut, cashew and almond butter on gluten-free toast/crackers. She also consumed a lot of lower sodium bacon and turkey bacon. I was hesitant to feed it to her so much. But she honestly craved it every day after loosing so much weight and during her healing process. I believe she craved it becasue her body needed the extra fat and calories since she stoppped wanting it every day after she put the weight back on.

There are high calorie drinks like ensure and boost but I am unaware if they are gluten-free/DF.

Good Luck

[Generic]

Just a thought, walnuts and greens have allot of fiber in them. Perhaps the combo of the 2 was too much fiber, which could cause loose stooles.

Letting her nurse is probably the best thing you can do. Mother's milk is high in calories, vitamins, calcium, etc. It is easily digested.

Are you gluten-free and dairy free yourself? They have found that gluten passes thru to the mother's milk, and I am sure it is possible for dairy as well.

Pepperoni may not be the best thing to feed her since, it can be a bit spicey and can be hard on the tummy. Same as onions.

At walmart if you buy a package of fruits or veggies in one of those "plastic box containers" it isn't plastic at all. It's made of corn and water, it's part of their green program.

At this age, they say let them eat what they want, even if it the same thing over and over. As long as they are getting food, they won't starve.

[tarnalberry]

avocado - on it's on, in tuna, with other stuff.

coconut milk in rice pudding, in smoothies, in soup.

[Nancym]

macadamia nuts, highest fat nut there is and very easy to digest. Coconut milk smoothies? Hopefully she is ok with coconut. I could gain oodles of weight having Thai sticky rice with coconut milk, man it is good! Starches pack fat on me like mad but I have issues with grains except rice. How about potatoes?

[sillyactsue]

Thanks everybody,

Casein is the thing in dairy she has a problem with. Do you get coconut milk at the grocery store or order it on-line? I had been giving her coconut oil and putting it in everything but the doctor said she got enough saturated fats from beef. I like using the coconut oil and have heard of a coconut cream that could be used on crackers like butter. Maybe I'll go ahead with that.

I have a question about breast feeding. She is nearly three years old. I have been told that at this point my milk is like skim milk, hardly any fat content. Then I read that the more she nurses the more fat content there is. And then I worry that if she nurses as much as she wants she won't eat enough and won't gain any way. What is the scoop? Should I let her nurse as much as she want?

I am gluten and caisen free as well so that is not a concern about breastfeeding.

The other reason I think she may have been glutened recently is because of her behavior. Normally a sweet, loving, funny little kid she is now acting like an angry, irritable, glutened person and then she is clingy. What ever got her got me too. She always acts this way when glutened.

I will try everyones suggestions. Can she really gain any weight eating rice? I know, with stuff, but I need her to do more than not starve. She loves onions by the way. She wants to eat fruit,rice and onions and she begs for garlic. She doesn't beg for anything fattening and considers an offer of them fighting words. Yesterday when I asked her for suggestions of foods she wanted she said, "rice cakes."

Gloria

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Well, millions of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean babies gain properly on a rice-based diet!

I agree about the pepperoni--it's not all that nutritious, it's full of salt and chemicals, has tons of preservatives, and the spices might give anyone diarrhea!

[Generic]

Maybe, she would like teriyaki chicken with rice? I know they make a brand of sauce that is gluten-free (can't think of the name and it's in my fridge). I mix the soy sauce with the teriyaki sauce, so it isn't quite so sweet and thick.

As far as I know your milk will stay the same (except in the beginning, when it is colostrum). The fatty part of your milk is what we consider cream from dairy cows (same thing). You may want to consult a la lache leaugue. They should be listed in the phone book. They are usually the most helpful.

Either way, she will still get the vitamins, and antibodies from you. Which may be helping her out more than you know.

Kudos to you for still breast feeding.

[super-sally888]

Ensure is gluten and lactose free. Am not sure if it is caesin free.

[Belinda Meeker]

Thanks everybody,

Casein is the thing in dairy she has a problem with. Do you get coconut milk at the grocery store or order it on-line? I had been giving her coconut oil and putting it in everything but the doctor said she got enough saturated fats from beef. I like using the coconut oil and have heard of a coconut cream that could be used on crackers like butter. Maybe I'll go ahead with that.

I have a question about breast feeding. She is nearly three years old. I have been told that at this point my milk is like skim milk, hardly any fat content. Then I read that the more she nurses the more fat content there is. And then I worry that if she nurses as much as she wants she won't eat enough and won't gain any way. What is the scoop? Should I let her nurse as much as she want?

I am gluten and caisen free as well so that is not a concern about breastfeeding.

The other reason I think she may have been glutened recently is because of her behavior. Normally a sweet, loving, funny little kid she is now acting like an angry, irritable, glutened person and then she is clingy. What ever got her got me too. She always acts this way when glutened.

I will try everyones suggestions. Can she really gain any weight eating rice? I know, with stuff, but I need her to do more than not starve. She loves onions by the way. She wants to eat fruit,rice and onions and she begs for garlic. She doesn't beg for anything fattening and considers an offer of them fighting words. Yesterday when I asked her for suggestions of foods she wanted she said, "rice cakes."

Gloria

Hi, My own opinion (u r just a super careing mom looking out for the best of her child)

there was a small girl that lived next to us when I was a child ...she too couldn't gain any weight and was allergic to alot also, they had to give her goats milk so she could gain weight and she did.

about u nursing: I would do it as long as she wants to and eat more protein myself so she would get it from me like my girlfriend makes these smoothies using a powdered protien (I will ask her the name) and she uses fruit, lactose free (MILK) or juice, gluten free yogurt, nuts and ice in a blender she refreezes it for about a half hour then enjoys (u could add anything u like to it )

I hope u get her better soon and good luck !

[janelyb]

congrats to you for still nursing. I nursed my son until he weaned himself at 32-33 months. I don't have any advise. Just curious does the judge and your x still know you are nursing? I would hate for it to happen but it seems like that might be another thing they will argue about. What a pain in the rear judge, hopefully he will place the order soon so your daughter can get healthy again.

What about your diet are you gluten and casein free too? Is there any chance if you are not g f c f that she might be still having trouble, I know at that age they nurse less...but isn't it still a possibility?

[shayesmom]

My dd is also on a gluten/casein-free diet and we also avoid eggs, most soy (except soy lecithin and a small bit of soy protein isolate in Vegenaise and Earth Balance) and food colorings, artificial sweeteners...etc. Believe me, there are plenty of options out there...it's all a matter of perspective.

We make our own "cheese" out of ground cashews to top gluten-free pizza and for casseroles. PM me and I can send you the recipes. It is very high in good fats and magnesium. Also, you can get organic hot dogs (no preservatives/additives and junk), organic bacon and many other quick meat options.

I use a lot of coconut milk/oil in baking as well as in smoothies. We get ours at Wild Oats or at the grocery...depending on if it has additives or not. I've also seen that you can make a whipped cream from coconut milk as well! And I have found a recipe for strawberry cheesecake which is free of dairy, wheat and eggs....and is a bit involved to make, but looks wonderful.

Avocado, salmon, tuna, flax....all contain healthy fats, vitamins and minerals to help with weight gain. I don't know about the saturated fats from beef....but if you want something high in iron and without too much fat...bison is a good option. And most of it is pasture-fed.

As for rice and gaining weight....I doubt it truly matters unless rice is the only thing being eaten. I've made some simple rice dishes/casseroles and have cooked the rice in chicken broth along with some diced veggies and garlic to vary things a bit. Or made peppersteak with rice and gravy. It tends to go over pretty well.

Hope that you find a way to balance it all out. And I wouldn't be too worried on breast-feeding and fat content. If your dd has another underlying food intolerance/allergy....she won't gain properly no matter what you feed her. Check into egg, corn, soy and yeast first. HTH

Thanks everybody,

Casein is the thing in dairy she has a problem with. Do you get coconut milk at the grocery store or order it on-line? I had been giving her coconut oil and putting it in everything but the doctor said she got enough saturated fats from beef. I like using the coconut oil and have heard of a coconut cream that could be used on crackers like butter. Maybe I'll go ahead with that.

I have a question about breast feeding. She is nearly three years old. I have been told that at this point my milk is like skim milk, hardly any fat content. Then I read that the more she nurses the more fat content there is. And then I worry that if she nurses as much as she wants she won't eat enough and won't gain any way. What is the scoop? Should I let her nurse as much as she want?

I am gluten and caisen free as well so that is not a concern about breastfeeding.

The other reason I think she may have been glutened recently is because of her behavior. Normally a sweet, loving, funny little kid she is now acting like an angry, irritable, glutened person and then she is clingy. What ever got her got me too. She always acts this way when glutened.

I will try everyones suggestions. Can she really gain any weight eating rice? I know, with stuff, but I need her to do more than not starve. She loves onions by the way. She wants to eat fruit,rice and onions and she begs for garlic. She doesn't beg for anything fattening and considers an offer of them fighting words. Yesterday when I asked her for suggestions of foods she wanted she said, "rice cakes."

Gloria

[sillyactsue]

congrats to you for still nursing. I nursed my son until he weaned himself at 32-33 months. I don't have any advise. Just curious does the judge and your x still know you are nursing? I would hate for it to happen but it seems like that might be another thing they will argue about. What a pain in the rear judge, hopefully he will place the order soon so your daughter can get healthy again.

What about your diet are you gluten and casein free too? Is there any chance if you are not g f c f that she might be still having trouble, I know at that age they nurse less...but isn't it still a possibility?

Yes they know I am nursing and the doctor all ready addressed that issue in a positive way.I have the same problems that she does with gluten and casein so yes I am gluten free too. At the advise of folks on this forum I have invited her to nurse often. I know from le leche league that the more she nurses and the longer she nurses at a time the more fat content my milk will have. Her problems showed up when she started eating solid food when she was about 10 months old. So far the result has been that we are both more relaxed when she does eat food and she is eating more. I'm going with it.

Thanks for your support. THe nurse at the docs office was horrified at what the judge had done and though the doctor is on vacation they are seeing what they can do for me in the way of a letter.

Gloria