Had A Melt Down

[confused]

I thought i was doing so good with being celiac. But today i had an meltdown. my hubby brought home some candys corn tortiallas and i started to bawl. I was like i need the missions ones, im not sure if these ones are safe. Then i couldnt stop crying. I am getting so frustrated. I was doing so much better til i got cc'ed and now i feel my world is falling apart again.

Does anyone else have these type of days or moments. And if so how do you make urself feel better. Because even as i type this im still bawling. Or have I just put a brave front for the last few months when in all actuallity i was a mess inside.

paula

[Guest j_mommy]

My boss told me I need to go though the whole grieving process....for gluten!!! It sounds silly but it worked! I went through denial, anger, sadness ect and finally I'm at peace with it. I still have days like that too though...you're not alone!

Try to look at teh bright side of things....that 's what I try to do(and no it doesn't always work)...atleast he brought home corn chips and not flour!!!

Take a deep breath and know that we are here if you need to vent!

[Jestgar]

As easy as it is to say "it's just food. All you have to do is eat differently" the reality is your whole world has shifted slightly. Not only do you have change what and how you eat, you also have just been told that the one thing you knew you could trust - food - has been letting you down. You have to build a whole new trust base of food.

Seeing something you don't know if you can trust I think kind of shreds your insides a bit. You get that slight feeling of panic that you know isn't rational, because you can just read the label, but at the same time is rational, because until you, or someone who eats the same way you do, has tried that product, you just don't know.

It's okay. it's just food. You do have control over it. And your husband loves you and he'll do what he can to protect you. He just can't understand it the way other Celiacs can.

And I'm sure everyone has had at least one melt down.

[ravenwoodglass]

I was doing so much better til i got cc'ed and now i feel my world is falling apart again.

paula

Paula the key thing you have to remember is what I have copied from your post. Gluten is a neurotoxin for many, this is a natural result of the glutening. I know it does not help a lot but you should tell yourself it will pass. Because it will. Let yourself feel bad for now, there is also a greiving process as some have said, but the gluten brain reaction you are going through is making it much worse. Try to pamper yourself a bit if you can and do clue you husband on what is going on. It can help others if they know that your melt down is a reaction and not directed at them. It will be okay and your not alone in either this reaction or in the guilt we sometimes feel for acting a bit irrationally around those we love.

[confused]

Thanks everyone. Im starting to feel better. I have always been one to not deal with things head on (not good for an person who has a masters in counseling). I havent even been able to mourn the death of my grandma from a couple of months ago. I was raised to be strong and its a weakness of mine. I have gone to counseling for this and i get better then i go back to my old ways. I think i have just been holding so much in the last weeks that it is all coming to an head now. I do have an very suportive hubby, but it takes alot to really open up with him, or to have the time to let it all out cause one of the kids always need something.

I can handle the gastro problems with celiac, but the neuro ones really kick me in my butt and i cant handle it.

paula

[Guest Doll]

I hear you Paula! As I'm sure *you've* told people in your practice, it's OK to feel sad. Some days all we want is to be "normal". I've never recalled a day where I have not injected and poked my body. What I would give....

Some people deal with this by volunteering with those who have it "worse off" then them (i.e. working with kids with cancer). I used to work with developmentally delayed and severely physically handicapped kids. Others pick one day a month to mourn and just mope around the house, eating gluten-free ice cream. I personally think the former is better for society, your health, and your waistline, but either way....

Celiac can be tough, because it is all relative. There is an often overwhelming emotional aspect to disease that many doctors never address. They seem to forget that the mind and body are connected. People aren't "Celiacs", they're people who happen to live with Celiac Disease. There is a real person with real emotions attached to that body.

Glad you are feeling better!

[blueeyedmanda]

(((HUGS))))

Paula, I know what you are going through. I have those days, every now and again. It is a grieving process, and the whole ordeal is very emotional. You have to relearn how to live your life again. It is almost like getting a second chance.

[melmak5]

I had meltdown two days ago. I got really sick... having to sleep on the couch cause its closer to the bathroom, and I ate the last of my cooked rice.

I started crying because I didn't have a significant other to cook for me and the last thing I wanted to do was to cook, anything. I just wanted to sit on the couch and have someone else do all the thinking/worrying and just bring me something "safe."

It took me a while to get out of the funk, but then I realized I have amazing friends who have gone above and beyond what I would have ever expected to help me through this.

For me, I found its ok to "feel bad" for a little while and then move on, rather than feeling guilty/stupid for being upset. Sometimes it even passes within a few minutes.

I hope things are looking up!

[aikiducky]

To me a meltdown like that would be a typical glutening reaction. It's the reason I'm very very careful about what I eat. I could deal with the tummy upsets but it's hard to deal if the thing gluten attacks is your ability to deal if you see what I mean...

My hubby knows so he doesn't freak out if I freak out, he just asks me what I've eaten. And I try to keep quiet for a couple days, eat my safest foods and not try anything very stressful. And tell myself that my life hasn't all of a sudden gotten more horrible, it's just the gluten speaking. It passes in a couple days, then I have a lingering mild depression for a couple weeks.

Pauliina

[confused]

Thanks everyone im feeling better this morning. I still cried myself to sleep tho, so now my eyes are killing me. I think part of it cause i have to take my doggie into the vets this morning, she has a weird lump on her head that looks like cancer, and im so afraid we will have to put her to sleep. So between the gluten and this, i think my emotions are all over the place.

paula

[ravenwoodglass]

Thanks everyone im feeling better this morning. I still cried myself to sleep tho, so now my eyes are killing me. I think part of it cause i have to take my doggie into the vets this morning, she has a weird lump on her head that looks like cancer, and im so afraid we will have to put her to sleep. So between the gluten and this, i think my emotions are all over the place.

paula

I am glad to hear you are doing a bit better. I hope everything turns out to be okay for your furry freind. We had a similar scare with my best kitty freind (don't tell the others we not supposed to have favorites ) even the vet thought the mass in his ear was cancer and it sure did look like it. We almost put him down but decided to do the surgery instead. After it was removed and biopsied it turned out to be benign. After all the worry and angst we then got to watch this kitty with bad eyesight ramming his elizabethan collar into everything for weeks. I hope you have a similar outcome with your buddy also.

Krista

[Guest kivmom3]

Paula

I have lots of those days and i have 3 little kids to tend to as well. It's been very hard for me as well. I guess all i can say is hang in there. i"m trying to do so as well. This is a great site for support. I can't figure out how to post here, only reply but it's nice to read things so you don't feel alone in the battle to good health.

Also, depression is part of the disease as well.

Hang in there!! We all need to hang in there.

Hope things get better.

Gg

[sfm]

I thought i was doing so good with being celiac. But today i had an meltdown. my hubby brought home some candys corn tortiallas and i started to bawl. I was like i need the missions ones, im not sure if these ones are safe. Then i couldnt stop crying. I am getting so frustrated. I was doing so much better til i got cc'ed and now i feel my world is falling apart again.

Does anyone else have these type of days or moments. And if so how do you make urself feel better. Because even as i type this im still bawling. Or have I just put a brave front for the last few months when in all actuallity i was a mess inside.

paula

Paula - I once burst into tears because I was making breakfast Sunday morning, and I accidentally used the non-gluten free spatula on my batch of pancakes... I had to throw it all out and make a new batch, and I ended up eating after everyone else, and afterwards my boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I lost it.

It is a tough diet to stick with; people don't understand how strict you have to be to not get sick. And having been glutened, you are probably still hyper sensitive right now - I know I get that way.

Sheryll

[jacqui]

I thought i was doing so good with being celiac. But today i had an meltdown. my hubby brought home some candys corn tortiallas and i started to bawl. I was like i need the missions ones, im not sure if these ones are safe. Then i couldnt stop crying. I am getting so frustrated. I was doing so much better til i got cc'ed and now i feel my world is falling apart again.

Does anyone else have these type of days or moments. And if so how do you make urself feel better. Because even as i type this im still bawling. Or have I just put a brave front for the last few months when in all actuallity i was a mess inside.

paula

Hi Hon

Cry all you want. I'll cry too. It has been a week I could use a good bawl!!

It finally hit me a couple months ago too. I can now say I am depressed b/c I have never felt this way in my life!! I feel I have no control of my life. I cannot drive so my life runs per my husband and friends schedule, which of course doesn't ever work well with mine. Helpful but I never have enough time so I go shopping and just buy everything and then have to get my husband or some one to drive me around doing returns - just one of my examples. The other is right now I have a lab order sitting in their computer for lyme disease but I have no ride to the lab b/c my hubands busy with work; bills are piling up mostly medical tests done that were not helpful...It goes on and on.

Take care,

Jacqui

[melrobsings]

I'm with you girl! I thought I have been to careful and I have been cc'ed about 3 times this past week! i lost it yesterday and had a break down! You are NOT alone! That's why we are all here! Feel better!