Christmas Staff Dinner

[dbuhl79]

I'm not officially being forced to go gluten-free yet, but I may by the time our office has our annual Christmas staff dinner gathering. In fact one of the wives just called to inform us of when and where this year. I'm not firmilar with the restruant and will be soon. But if I need to go gluten-free its not as likely they will have anything. At timese these meals are sort of "pre-set" (i.e., similar to a wedding reception), where you have lit tle choice of what is served to you.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stay gluten-free this evening discreetly and politely? Our office is small and this will be a very intimate gathering of 3 employees and our spouses. I suppose I would be more concerned of the embarrassment of an urgent bathroom run, if eating gluten.

All suggestions welcomed!

Thanks!!

[lovegrov]

I wouldn't give up on it. My first meal out after going gluten-free was also an office Christmas dinner (much bigger office, though). I called the catering company and got the chef. Although the menu was set, he altereda copule of things for me. The same thing happened when we attended an academic dinner for our daughter and, most recently, a group dinner for 25.

In all cases the menu was set but the chef made something that I could eat. Call ahead. If this is a decent restaurant they will cooperate.

richard

[terri]

Our Christmas party for 450 is also at a restaurant. Imagine my delight when one of the planners told me that they had requested a gluten free meal for me! It kinda helped that her sister-in-law is a Celiac, but I am very thrilled. I went to a wedding last month and the caterer provided me with a gluten free dinner and the rest of the 200 plus people went to the buffet. So, it can work, don't give up. It's amazing how understanding people can be, especially around the holidays.

[dbuhl79]

Thanks guys!

I haven't given up hope yet, just unsure of the menu items listed on their website. They have 3 dining locations at this resort/inn. And majorty of its fish. And ya think that'd be simple, but I hate fish!! Ha ha! Well I will wait to get my official word on going gluten-free thsi week. Then I'll talk to the wives about getting in touch w/ the resturant for a gluten-free meal.

Thanks again!!

[tarnalberry]

There also is nothing wrong with eating before hand and not partaking in the food - I did that this whole weekend at a trustee's meeting for my college. Of coures, the facilities being accomodating would be better. ;-)

[cdford]

I have found that most people want to help if you ask, but you need to make sure that they understand that plain means plain on the meat, etc. I ran into a problem with a gluten-free meal at our last church Christmas dinner. They had really tried, but all four of us who have celiac disease were sick afterwards. We think it was probably the garlic powder on the grille chicken.

Donna

[debmidge]

After putting together my 25th wedding anniversary party I think I can throw my 2 cents in on this one.... 2 out of 3 catering places refused to make a special gluten-free dinner for my husband. The one place which was able to comply was The Westwood in Garwood, NJ (I'll give them a "plug" because they were very accomodating).

My advice is to call the restaurant and find out if they:

1) know what celiac and gluten-free food is first and speak to the chef, if he'll take the call. I visited the caterers and spoke with the chef on their premises. He was very interested and willing to accomodate us.

2) Ask if they can accomodate one meal. Suggest to them to take whatever they were going to serve anyway and revise one meal of it as gluten-free. This way it'll keep their kitchen prep down to a minimum.

3) If they cannot do this, then I suggest that you eat beforehand, take a plate of their gluteny food and play with it as if you are eating it.

To all: As an aside, how do many of you deal with wedding & other eating out situations? Do you ask the Bride or Groom to adjust their meal for you? Do you call the restaurant/caterer yourself?

We usually decline these type of invites as in their "hour of glory" the bride/groom doesn't have the time or patience to see to it that their caterer makes a gluten-free plate of food for one guest. I've been through this before with a couple who we knew that was getting married and frankly, they didn't return my call. Many people without celiac do not realize the importance of this and figure you can cheat this once.

The dilemma is how much do you assert yourself? How much should you assert yourself in these situations? No one likes to feel like a P.I.A. (pain in the rump) all the time.

[angel-jd1]

I feel blessed with my boss and his wife. She always cooks a huge dinner and we have the party at their house. Since my diagnosis she has taken it upon herself as a challenge. She goes over the menu with me and finds out what brands she needs to buy etc. We talk about cross contamination and where it can occur with what she is cooking. I always have something WONDERFUL to eat!!! This year she made buffalo roast, potato wedges, and a huge salad. I did not feel left out at all. I am so blessed

-Jessica

[snipe12]

Hope it goes well for you.

I had my company Christmas dinner last night. What a farce that was.

I had pre ordered a gluten free meal about a month or so in advance. Everyone had set seating so they knew where I was sitting. They brought out the soup and I had specifically said no to it due to the contents of the stock. The waitress proceeded to try giving me the soup and before I could say no she actually spilt it on me! It was very hot and burnt me quite nicely. It was obviously a mistake and these things happen so I was very nice about it. They were probably thinking I would sue so were been very helpful.

They paid for me to get a taxi home to change. I was quite drunk as was everyone whilst I waited for my main meal (everyone had eaten by now) and when it arrived I just started eating as it was 22.00 by this point. To my horror I realised they had not given me the gluten free version I had requested but in fact a normal meal. Been drunk I had not noticed until a few mouthfuls later.

I was pretty disgusted with this from a place as prestigious as the Hilton. Pretty poor organisation. I am now suffering today from both minor burns and been glutened!

[debmidge]

Snipe, now you know for the next time. Hope you're feeling better.

[tammy]

Hi debmidge.

We usually decline invitations to weddings except for certain family members. I contacted the bride, my cousin, and informed her of our dietary restriction. She was very understanding and said another relative had a special restriction also but that something could be worked out. I asked for the name of reception and called the caterer. I was not pleased with the service from this prestigious facility. Long story made short, we didn't go. It just wasn't worth it to me. A single contamination causes me no physical pain however, my stool is quite irregular for a week. My health is just too important to me.

However, I think that if it was my husband's family member, he would have taken the challenge. But know that he cheats.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[debmidge]

tammy,

Prior to my husband (he's celiac) going gluten-free, he was diagnosed as IBS and for years he did not eat: fruits, vegetables (except for potatoes), spices nor fried foods. We too declined invites to weddings, christenings, etc. based on this. Now he cannot have the gluten foods in addition to the first group I mentioned so it's twice as difficult. We barely went to family weddings, etc. My brother is getting married in 2005 and I haven't broached the subject yet with him and his bride. It shouldn't be difficult because my Mom & Sister are paying for most of the reception so I will probably be able to arrange for a gluten-free meal one way or the other. I'll even cook it myself if I have to, if the caterer won't help.

Debbie

[pixiegirl]

I understand that we all have to make our own decisions and that every family is different but I'd never miss an important event like a family wedding because of my eating problems. On the scale of importance to me a wedding .... say my brothers would be so important to attend and my eating issues would be a non issue.

Eat before hand, leave for 45 minutes and eat in your room or in the car, or just bring food, who cares if people ask why? Go in the bar and have another drink you'll forget all about eating (ok just kidding). But at least in my family weddings are so much fun, we dance, talk, laugh, drink, yes and eat that I wouldn't miss out on such an important day because I have food issues.... this day to the bride and groom is more important then that as far as I'm concerned. I'd find a way to make it happen. But again I know that all families are different.

Now a Christmas party I might pass on, but a family wedding, no way.

Best to all,

Susan

[debmidge]

Susan, With all due respect, your reply sounds like the kinds of answers I get from my friends and family who don't understand celiac. They come up with these wild answers like eating beforehand and eating in the car. I feel like saying to them "Don't you think we've thought of that too?"

Also, lest anyone forget, the hosts of the wedding have the obligation to make their guests feel at home and should attend to something like a special diet, especially if it's their immediate family at least. Lack of this attention makes me feel that they really couldn't care less if that celiac person is attending the party or not.

Additionally, your response gives others the feeling that not attending due to dietary issues makes them less of a brother or a sister to the couple. I am sure that wasn't your intention to make others feel bad, that was my perception of it.

Some of the problems with attending weddings, etc. are logistical and cannot be worked out due to other factors involved. For instance, my husband is down to 125 lbs @ 5' 10" tall from a high of 175 when he was healthy. (My husband's advanced celaic condition is a result of 26 years of misdiagnosis, so he has a lot of catching up to do) He has to eat several times a day just to keep at 125 lbs. If he eats before the wedding, by the time we are in the midst of the reception he'll need to eat again. There's no way we can heat up his food. Many catering places do not allow you to bring in food of your own. Another point which you are not aware of, he has other food sensitivities so just whipping out a brown bag meal isn't going to cut it. He needs a "sit down" meal at that time of the day/evening.

[angel-jd1]

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Susan here, the day is about the Bride and Groom, not what is on the plate of one guest. They have SO much to worry about on that day. I would feel awful trying to inconvience them with my problems. They should be able to relax and enjoy their day, not worry if I got the right food at the right time and was happy.

If all else fails, bring in a bag of mcdonalds food or lunch from home and enjoy your time with the bride and groom, this day is NOT about you. It is about them!! It is about spending time with special people on a special day, getting out and socializing. If you stay at home, you are making yourself a prisoner of this disease when you don't have to!

I would really hate to be the one to ruin a wedding by throwing a fit about food or just plain not showing up just because of the food issue. That is just plain silly!! There are so many ways to work around it. I wouldn't miss a special day like that.

Just my 2 cents

-Jessica

[Carriefaith]

I brought a gluten free microwavable amy's dinner to my cousins before-wedding-dinner. All I did was heat it up while everyone else was getting their food at the buffet table and then I sat down with everyone and had fun! No one said anything to me and I didn't feel awkward or weird (The family understood).

[debmidge]

Jessica: There must have been a miscommunication somehow....no one is throwing a fit over wedding food. Some of us just mentioned that due to logistical matters and the degree of how ill the celiac is, we decline wedding, christening, etc. invitations if it appears that going will make one ill. That's not the same as demanding special food or taking the day away from the Bride and Groom. Additionally, I"m not celiac, my husband is and I wouldn't eat a McDonald's meal if you paid me. And no one is not "just showing up" as you state - this is a situation when you decline months in advance.

The last wedding we went to where we tried to "work around it" our table was the last to eat at the buffet and the only choices of food left were foods my husband could not eat.

I just think it's irresponsible to expect every celiac to respond the same way to an invitation that includes a meal. No one should make another person feel bad that they are unable to attend a family party. In a lot of situations, some catering places whether it buffet or not, do not allow guests to bring in their own food and heat it up.

I understand that it's everybody's 2 cents, but I don't think you are seeing the other "side of the coin" and how the "one-size" fits all approach doesn't work.

We have 28 years of dealing with these situations and feel that our method is best FOR US. However, I never in my life would have expected to be made to feel bad in this forum.

[angel-jd1]

I wasn't intending to make you feel bad. I am only saying that there is no reason *in MY opinion* to miss such special events. It is very selfish. The day isn't about you or your husband, it is about the bride and groom. GO enjoy yourselves. Eat before or after or during. Don't make the day about food, it is about love and family.

-Jessica

[MySuicidalTurtle]

I personally don't usually eat at events like that. I either eat before hand or bring my own food. If I can't do either I don't mind being hungry if the event is important to me. I am sooo particular about what I eat and who makes it that I'd just rather not eat at those moments.

Debbie and Jessica, you both seemed to have found the best way for you to deal with these situations. I am glad they work well for each of you!

[Carriefaith]

In a lot of situations, some catering places whether it buffet or not, do not allow guests to bring in their own food and heat it up

I'm sure they would make exceptions for people with serious dietary needs like celiac disease. I mean if we can't eat what they're offering, then they should understand.

Take a celiac card and show them and then explain how important it is for your husband to eat his own food. Just a suggestion

[debmidge]

Hi all

when putting together my own anniversary dinner, I was turned down by 2 large wedding type catering halls as they could not accomodate 1 gluten-free dinner (my husband). The last place agreed was dismayed when I told them that my husband would bring his own bread. The catering organizer asked "well, how much of the bread is he bringing? And it's just for himself? I'm not sure if that's OK." Then she checked with her manager and they OK'd it and wanted to know how many servings he was bringing. I've been thru so much with special occasions not working out that we know what invites we can make and which will not work out. We were invited to a christening that's about an hour's drive away - so we have to leave the house at 10:45; the church service is at noon, and about another half hour drive further is the party at 2 PM. I don't expect to be home from this party until after 5 PM. That would mean that my husband won't eat from the time we leave our house until about 5:30 pm. I have no idea about this catering place - so I'm gonna telephone them on Monday/tues and ask them if they'll allow us to heat up a gluten-free meal during this affair and see what they say to me. This is just a test. I'll let you know what the outcome is.

Of course a wedding is all about the bride and groom; however, when each of you were a bride/groom we're you the least bit interested in if your guests were fed well and having a good time? I know I was as I did inquire about one of my guest's requirements and made an arrangement to have something different for him. But I guess that's just me - I guess what you are saying is that you can't expect everyone to be that way....