Dating

[Rikki Tikki]

I was wondering if anyone has any idea's on dating. I was diagnosed with celiac disease by blood and biopsy about two years ago.

I have not dated in a year and the last time, when we would go out to eat I would end up sick even though I would order food I thought was ok. (maybe it was the man!)

It is a very difficult disease for me to talk about with people I don't know, and the people I do know have a hard time understanding what this is all about. Many people assume that it is just an allergic reaction to wheat, not a big deal, and it takes too long to explain so I usually just nod and go on with the conversation.

The symptoms are not something I would be comfortable talking about and really don't even know how to broach the subject.

Does anyone have any suggestions? There are not any dining places here other than Mcdonalds. Most places are locally owned.

I wish there was a single place where people with celiac could meet!

WHERE THERE IS LIFE THERE IS HOPE!

[Carriefaith]

You could make dinner for your date at home. I do this all the time! That way you will know for sure that you won't get sick!

I know celiac symptoms are embarassing to talk about, especially for those of us that get the nasty GI symptoms. But if you find it hard all you have to say is, "if I eat that I will get sick and it will damage my intestines". Most people are happy with that explaination and if they want to know more it shows they care, which is a good thing!

[astyanax]

one cool thing is when you find someone who does their own research on the disease you know you've found someone good maybe suggest doing things like the movies, going out for a drink (if you drink) or going out for coffee or a local zoo museum etc. etc. instead of going out to eat, especially when you first meet someone and it's tough to explain!

[FreyaUSA]

I would suggest you find one restaurant other than McDonalds that you can go to and be certain of getting a gluten-free meal. This might mean finding a time when you can talk to a manager and explain your situation with celiac disease. Once you are comfortable with one or two items on their menus (better if you don't have to special order anything) you won't have to stress explaining until later.

Btw, I wont eat anything at McDs (I'm allergic to beef on top of everything.) My son, however, has had good luck with just fries and the yogurt parfait (w/out the granola, of course.) Sounds like your McDs isn't as careful about cross contamination (my local BK is also not careful ) Sometimes it seems like its hit and miss with fast food.

Oh! And, my celiac disease son has been "hit" three times by his girlfriend. He was pretty blase about it until the last time. Now he's insisting she chew gum or rinse her mouth somehow after eating and before kissing. Just another thing to have to stress about.

[kozmik bloo]

I went gluten-free about a month ago, at the same time I began dating a new guy. We briefly discussed my new gluten-free lifestyle (I also have other nutritional oddities). I didn't want to go into too much detail because well, it's a lot to hit someone with early on. Anyway, he took it upon himself to visit this website and learn more about celiac and to search out what was safe for me to eat. I was totally blown away.

We had dinner with his parents last weekend and they went out of their way to tell me all of the ingredients in each of the dishes they prepared. All were gluten-free including the dessert.

When we eat out, I choose the restaurant. So far I've had good luck at the Outback, Dave & Busters, and Waffle House. I was worried about Waffle House but I had eggs and bacon with no noticible problems.

I'd think that locally owned places would be more accommodating to people with special dining needs. Maybe you could speak with the owner or chef well in advance to see if they can prepare a meal that is safe to eat.

[gypsyfey]

When my boyfriend and I first met he explained being celiac breifly, and to start with that was enough. When we go out to eat we usually choose a Mexican or BBQ place. Nachos have become a staple diet for us! In the resturant if I tell the server that he is "deathly allergic" to wheat they go out of their way to make sure no one gets sick. Although this isn't exactly accurate, it works welll enough that we usually don't have any problems. I have also found that with the popularity of the atkins diet, resturants are including "no carb" areas in their menus.

[Rikki Tikki]

I agree and think nacho's are a great idea but if they are using the same grease to fry the chips in, do you worry about cross-contamination? Also, please correct me if I am wrong but I was under the impression that we have to be careful of the cheese. My understanding is that if it is the kind that is already melted we can't eat it and then if it's is packaged already shredded, there are some of them we cannot eat. Please let me knoe.

Thanks

[darlindeb25]

eating out will always be a risk--when we are not fixing our own food, there will always be that risk of contamination---i havent found a cheese yet that we cant have--i do understand that imatation cheese can contain gluten, but i never buy fake cheese shredded cheese is ok as long as you buy regular shredded cheese--such as colby, mozz, cheddar--the reg stuff----------my man is very supportive of me and if he has eaten something he knows could hurt me, he always brushes his teeth before kissing me --he's wonderful, i know not all are like him--he reads ingredients and yes --he was one of them that got online and read up on celiacs for support--my brother-in-law is very good too--he found the first lists we ever had for safe foods for us and printed them for both of us-- we did find us good men, both blue eyed sweethearts too deb

[GFGAL]

I met a guy just as I gave up gluten- it was a blind date. Because we only met for drinks I didn't have to get into the gluten-free thing. But the second date was dinner. I briefly explained that sushi would be best. I told him over dinner a bit more about it. But because this was all new to me I didn't have a lot of information myself. The next time we spoke on the phone he was so excited to tell me about all of the research he had done on-line, and all that he had learned. He taught ME about Celiac- I knew he was the one! When we made dinner plans the following week, he called ahead and made all the necessary arrangements for me. Dating wasn't without challenges, but he made it easy. I met his family less than one month after the diganosis- they did their own reasearch and made everything separate for me. He never stopped asking what he could do, and I made sure to be honest about what I needed. We learned about it together, and we still are. Espceially now that we are planning our gluten-free wedding!!!

[darlindeb25]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW that is so sweet and yes--i think you found the perfect man for you--good luck--- deb

[FreyaUSA]

GFGal, that is TOTALLY romantic! My best wishes to the two of you!

[DrLeonard]

Hi

This might sound kind of hokey, but for me when it came to dating and bringing of celiac disease, I figured that the kind of person who I would want to have as a partner would be understanding and supportive. I found out that meeting for coffee works best as a first date because if you hit it off, the natural next date is dinner, and then you can explain the diet. Unfortunately I've met a few people who decided not to go on that next date and usually (if they bother to explain why) they say something like, "I don't want to get involved with someone with health problems." That stings but I think you have to wonder about somebody who has that kind of attitude in the first place.

You might also be surprised how many people already know about celiac disease. My girlfriend had a good friend with it, so when I told her about it on our first date, it was actually something we had in common.

Good luck

[Guest TerpyTaylor]

I'm really blessed with a super supportive boyfriend; dating just takes some creativity! I was diagnosed by blood and biopsy with celiac's late last September. We weren't dating then, we were just friends, but as my friend he quickly learned all about the disease and how I have to eat differently. For our first date, we went to a restaurant that has an advertised and accurate allergen list, including gluten; Noodles and Co., of all places! On one of our next dates actually he made dinner for me, gluten-free rice pasta and tomato sauce! So cute! He knows now how to check labels on everything and if we go to a restaurant and he orders, he'll ask the waitress to check with the chef about certain foods when I get shy about it. He checks about everything, without me even having to ask. I'm lucky, he's awesome! We don't eat out much because it is a little tricky, so a lot of times I make us dinner at my apartment and then we go out and do something else. If you try to be creative, it

[Rikki Tikki]

I thought I should give all of you an update. A gut I went to high school with recently made contact. Anyway, he knew through my mom that I had celiac disease and took it upon himself to research the disease. So far other than bringing me dry roasted sunflower seeds he has done really well with it. Initally, he was afraid to take me out to eat but that has resolved itself once I explained to him that I can order food and be somewhat certain it is gluten-free.

Thanks for all your advice

[Rikki Tikki]

I meant guy, guess I should use that preview post!

[minibabe]

My boyfriend and I were dating already when I was diagnosed. He has been absolutly wonderful in this entire process and is always taking me out to dinner and making sure that I am taken care of. I could not ask for anyone better then him. He is extremely supportive and even takes me food shopping, (considering the bill is usually really high)!! He is also the one who usually talkes to the waitors and makes sure that our dinning experiences are wonderful. He also trys all the food first and lets me know if its worth trying.....he is extremely wonderful and supportive. He is def. the BEST!

[KaitiUSA]

There is a guy that keeps asking me out to dinner...I tell him over and over I am a celiac and he always forgets and asks what it is and I've explained it to him like about 20 times now.

Sally &Minibabe-looks like you guys found 2 keepers

[Rikki Tikki]

I don't know yet if he is a keeper, but time will tell! Thanks!

[celiac3270]

There is a guy that keeps asking me out to dinner...I tell him over and over I am a celiac and he always forgets and asks what it is and I've explained it to him like about 20 times now.

Well, if you found a good (accomodating) restaurant first...and then went it might work.

And not everthing revolves around food ...just don't go to dinner and instead go to.....a movie or something. I don't know--I'm not really at that stage yet

[ianm]

Kaiti, your would-be suitor sounds like my ex-wife . Trust me you DON"T want someone who can't remember what your health condition is after you've explained it 20 times.

[KaitiUSA]

Ian-Exactly...thats my point... He has known me for a while so for him not to remember that is kind of an insult to me. If you care about someone you remember those important thing. I have to explain it to him just about every time I talk to him. I know not everything revolves around food but why bother with someone that you tell something to goes in one ear and out the other...and he doesn't like the places that accomodate me needless to say we won't be going out lol

[ianm]

Maybe we can fix him up with my ex-wife.

[KaitiUSA]

Maybe we can fix him up with my ex-wife.

haha yeah well if she is anything like him they would be perfect for each other

[celiac3270]

Oh, okay, sorry...I thought you were saying no only because it meant eating out.

[ianm]

celiac3270, pay close attention to this thread, it will come in handy in a few years.