For People With Roommates...help

[num1habsfan]

Sorry guys I know all I seem to do is rant my butt off on this boards lately. But this seems to be the only place that would understand.

I'll keep it short and sweet...basically what's happening is my roommate is creating situations that would harm my health and expects me to clean up her mess. It was bad enough that she continues to make sandwiches on the counter without using a plate and makes me wipe them up (I wear gloves, obviously). But now she's pissed because I wouldn't take out her trash--the garbage bag is not tied up and there's a bread bag sitting on the top!!

SO today the counter was once again covered with breadcrumbs, so I had a total panic/asthma attack and from now on I will never clean it up, and I am going to use my own trash can. I have one in my room already but I'll use it for kitchen-related garbage, and I will only take out my own. Let hers sit there for days and rot.

I just need advice on how to make her stop being a lazy idiot without moving out (because that is NOT an option).

~ Lisa ~

[Renth]

I had roommates that were awful about my gluten problems too, they would complain and say awful things about me when i wouldn't pay for 1/3 of the grocery bill, hello! I am not going to pay for what I don't eat!

My suggestion though this maybe a pain in the fanny is just leave it sitting in the kitchen, you're doing her work for her so she'll just keep letting you do it, I know you need to use the kitchen too but maybe you can get a mini fridge ( i loved mine, it kept them from spreading crumbs to my stuff when they ran out of groceries) and live on sandwiches and stuff like that for a while and maybe she'll get a hint and clean up her own mess when you don't. And just a question are you so sensitive that you react to airborne gluten or did the idea of cleaning it up give you a panic/asthma attack? I'm not that sensitive so touching gluten doesn't bother me, I just wash my hands well afterwards, so I don't freak out around it, but I totally understand that some people are very sensitive. I live on my own now it's so nice I don't have to worry about cc it's fantastic.. I hope things work out for you! Roomates can be bad and inconsiderate ones are a nightmare!

[num1habsfan]

I had roommates that were awful about my gluten problems too, they would complain and say awful things about me when i wouldn't pay for 1/3 of the grocery bill, hello! I am not going to pay for what I don't eat!

My suggestion though this maybe a pain in the fanny is just leave it sitting in the kitchen, you're doing her work for her so she'll just keep letting you do it, I know you need to use the kitchen too but maybe you can get a mini fridge ( i loved mine, it kept them from spreading crumbs to my stuff when they ran out of groceries) and live on sandwiches and stuff like that for a while and maybe she'll get a hint and clean up her own mess when you don't. And just a question are you so sensitive that you react to airborne gluten or did the idea of cleaning it up give you a panic/asthma attack? I'm not that sensitive so touching gluten doesn't bother me, I just wash my hands well afterwards, so I don't freak out around it, but I totally understand that some people are very sensitive. I live on my own now it's so nice I don't have to worry about cc it's fantastic.. I hope things work out for you! Roomates can be bad and inconsiderate ones are a nightmare!

Yeah I'm just going to leave it there, and put all my utensils/plates/etc on the stove to make sandwiches or whatever. I'll also get my own microwave going, and toaster oven and move most of my kitchen stuff into a different cupboard.

I am sensitive enough that if it's airborne (like if someone is baking) or if I touch it I react. I've gotten sick just from accidently using the same utensils as someone else used for gluten-containing foods. I think another good clue is that during farming season if there's smoke from burning stubble or grain dust in the air I get glutened too.

Thanks for your suggestion and being understanding. I need all the support from you guys that i can get. I've been so upset over this that I forgot I had a midterm tonight and didnt study for it at all

~ Lisa ~

[miles2go]

Boy, you sure have my sympathies. I've been through the hellish roomies and can't walk down the bread aisle of the grocery store without holding my nose. The only cure is to find roommates that are considerate or have none at all, move away from that burning stubble and start enjoying life! Midterms can be made up or retaken, you have a good medical excuse!

[num1habsfan]

Boy, you sure have my sympathies. I've been through the hellish roomies and can't walk down the bread aisle of the grocery store without holding my nose. The only cure is to find roommates that are considerate or have none at all, move away from that burning stubble and start enjoying life! Midterms can be made up or retaken, you have a good medical excuse!

I think I'll just leave her a note or send her a text and be like...I can't take out the trash anymore and am going to use my own and can't waipe the counters either.

And I live in Saskatchewan, hard to get away from the farming, even in the city.

OK what an evil gluten week. As of today in the university the building that I CANT AVOID walking through is continuing their construction...inside...ABOVE the 1st floor, ANDDD there is DRYWALL DUST in the air and all over the ground. and we all know what drywall is made out of!! . I swear if there wasn't people around I would have probably had another panic attack by now...

~ Lisa ~

[FootballFanatic]

I was the one "Ranting" about my room mates all the time earlier this year. I'm the room mate rant queen. (And PS I have signed my prelease for a house with my gluten free boyfriend starting May 1 - I can't wait!)

I can tell you this:

I have tried everything, I have spelled out my needs numerous times and they have said okay and that they understand, so I think I'm safe, and I still come home to gluten on my things that I try to leave in the kitchen.

SO, today at 1pm we are meeting with an arbitrator to make up a contract, because also if one of my room mates thinks that we have broken one of her rules (like no dogs on the couch) she flips out. But I'm not allowed to flip out if they bake with flour right around my things?

Okay - not working for me.

I will let you know if the arbitration is a success. I have had to move the majority of my things into my room (despite not having the space for it) but it's better than being sick.

She calls it selfish, I call it survival.

And I really don't think that my ONE rule of telling me if they are going to bake so I can clear off my counter and wipe it down is that selfish. Some people are so ignorant that they will not understand until they get hit with a disease that they have to make sacrifices for.

[kbtoyssni]

I think I'll just leave her a note or send her a text and be like...I can't take out the trash anymore and am going to use my own and can't waipe the counters either.

And I live in Saskatchewan, hard to get away from the farming, even in the city.

OK what an evil gluten week. As of today in the university the building that I CANT AVOID walking through is continuing their construction...inside...ABOVE the 1st floor, ANDDD there is DRYWALL DUST in the air and all over the ground. and we all know what drywall is made out of!! . I swear if there wasn't people around I would have probably had another panic attack by now...

~ Lisa ~

I would be sending an nice letter to the university on that one. The construction is not going to help you learn at all, especially if you get sick. I'm sure they have no idea, but someone needs to let them know to get awareness out there. In the future maybe they can plan drywalling for times when classes are not in session. I'm wondering if this is another time a 504 plan might help a college student...

[Phyllis28]

Maybe a mask like the one below would help with the drywall.

Open Original Shared Link

Edit: Also, talk to the school administration about alternative access. There maybe a way into the building that do not have public access. If available, you might want to look into signing up with the college disability office. My son has done this. He had to provide doctor's proof to qualify. I know in the US that Celiac qualifies as disability.

Hope you get everything worked out.

[num1habsfan]

Maybe a mask like the one below would help with the drywall.

Open Original Shared Link

Edit: Also, talk to the school administration about alternative access. There maybe a way into the building that do not have public access. If available, you might want to look into signing up with the college disability office. My son has done this. He had to provide doctor's proof to qualify. I know in the US that Celiac qualifies as disability.

Hope you get everything worked out.

I am registered with the disability office, but as far as I know I'm the only one with Celiac there because anyone I asked about or mentioned it to has never heard of it. I guess I didn't explain...that building is basically halfway in between the building I walk in, and the one where my classrooms are. Now that it is winter, I am not wanting to walk outside for 15 straight minutes and go all around the campus. If it was spring time, I wouldn't really care. When I was leaving some guy was VACUUMING the dust. Which I'm sure just stirred it up more.

Unfortunately there is a strike going on right now so all services, INCLUDING the disability office, is closed so I couldnt even go talk to someone

~ Lisa ~

[kbtoyssni]

I am registered with the disability office, but as far as I know I'm the only one with Celiac there because anyone I asked about or mentioned it to has never heard of it. I guess I didn't explain...that building is basically halfway in between the building I walk in, and the one where my classrooms are. Now that it is winter, I am not wanting to walk outside for 15 straight minutes and go all around the campus. If it was spring time, I wouldn't really care. When I was leaving some guy was VACUUMING the dust. Which I'm sure just stirred it up more.

Unfortunately there is a strike going on right now so all services, INCLUDING the disability office, is closed so I couldnt even go talk to someone

~ Lisa ~

You might have to ask your professors if there's any accommodations that can be made. I am working on my masters as a distance student so my lectures take place on campus but they are taped and I watch the tape online. On campus students have access to the tapes a few weeks after the lectures, but someone in your situation could probably get access to the tapes the day of the lecture so you wouldn't have to attend class. Of course, that would probably require some administrative assistance which I'm guessing is on strike right now.

[num1habsfan]

You might have to ask your professors if there's any accommodations that can be made. I am working on my masters as a distance student so my lectures take place on campus but they are taped and I watch the tape online. On campus students have access to the tapes a few weeks after the lectures, but someone in your situation could probably get access to the tapes the day of the lecture so you wouldn't have to attend class. Of course, that would probably require some administrative assistance which I'm guessing is on strike right now.

Yup, administrative is too. The only thing I got approved for in any class was some extra time to write exams (like if I have to go to the washroom) or excusable if I am sick/in the hospital and miss handing in assignments, and medical appointments don't go as a missed day, and in Sociology i'm on the honour program that I get to take the exams with me and write them at home so I don't have to worry about bathroom problems either. The teachers don't allow recordable devices. SO that's no option either....

~ Lisa ~

[Phyllis28]

I hope the disablity office returns to work soon.

My experience with disabiltiy office, for my son, has been very good. One of the services offered, if qualified, through my son's college is note taking. Someone will come to class take notes, type them up and give them to the student.

Also, I think with support of the disability office it might be possible to record lectures. I asked about this in high school for my son and it was possible.

[DonnaD777-777]

Sorry guys I know all I seem to do is rant my butt off on this boards lately. But this seems to be the only place that would understand.

I'll keep it short and sweet...basically what's happening is my roommate is creating situations that would harm my health and expects me to clean up her mess. It was bad enough that she continues to make sandwiches on the counter without using a plate and makes me wipe them up (I wear gloves, obviously). But now she's pissed because I wouldn't take out her trash--the garbage bag is not tied up and there's a bread bag sitting on the top!!

SO today the counter was once again covered with breadcrumbs, so I had a total panic/asthma attack and from now on I will never clean it up, and I am going to use my own trash can. I have one in my room already but I'll use it for kitchen-related garbage, and I will only take out my own. Let hers sit there for days and rot.

I just need advice on how to make her stop being a lazy idiot without moving out (because that is NOT an option).

~ Lisa ~

Unfortunately lisa, you really have no control over what your roommate does, she is her own person. She is not going to change, i suggest you find a way to get out of the lease. I have struggled with roommates in the past, and it really doesn't get better but worse...especially on the cleaning up things...she probably won't take out her trash and then you wont even be able to use the kitchen...contact your landlord and tell them that your health is at risk, they should understand. Mine did and i still got my deposit back;) good luck,

[cmom]

I truly feel for you. I know that it has been suggested in the past that maybe you are just too sensitive or misinterpreting your roommates' actions. I, however, disagree. I know I have not witnessed their actions, but I do know women (they seem to be so much worse) who would do the things you mention just for spite to see if you get sick. Unfortunately, there are people like this, especially, if there is more than one of them (crowd mentality). I hope you can get away from them soon as it seems they will never understand nor do they want to help. My two cents worth!

[num1habsfan]

OK so I was gone for the weekend, I come back this morning to find my dishes in a PLASTIC BAG sitting in the hallway and hers washed! And not only that--a note on the fridge saying that she does everything, all the housework, and I do nothing to help out. (Which as we know....completely opposite of the truth).

So I sent her some text messages saying if you keep putting me in situations where I can't go near anything you tell me to do how can she expect me to do it. I reminded her yet again that if its enough to cause me many panic/asthma attacks i avoid going anywhere near it for as long as possible. (which is true!!)...Her reply??? "I forgot" ....Forgot my ass!

~ Lisa ~