I Was Crying Like A Baby

[Kathy'sUnicorns]

Last night my husband made some croissant rolls to go with some home made soup he made. He has been great in getting my gluten free stuff for me to eat and really goes out of his way to find good tasting stuff. I told him to go ahead and make them. That was a big mistake. It smelled soooooooo good. I sat in the kitchen sniffing them remebering what they tasted like. Then I busted into tears because I'll never be able to have that again. It was like I was mourning over a loved one who died.

I've been gluten free for 2 months now and haven't had any real cravings to eat food that is "off limits" until last night. My daughter and husband have made cookies, brownies and other stuff that I can't ahve and I was ok with all of that. Did anyone else mourn food they can't eat anymore or am I just nuttier then I thought I was?

[ravenwoodglass]

No your not nutty at all. I am 5 years into this and I still sometimes get wistful over long john silver shrimp or kentucky fried chicken. Many of us do find that we have a period of phases of 'mourning' this is natural, you have lost something familiar and comforting (foods) and it can be difficult at times.

Got any leftover crossants? This might sound nuts but maybe if you bury one it might give a sense of closure to that part of your life. The part filled with poison. Mark the spot and in the spring dance there and celebrate getting your life back.

[sneezydiva]

I started the diet a few months ago, but just last week, I got a positive result on a wheat allergy test. I was okay at the doctor, but when I got home, I cried. It hit me like a brick that I really have to give it up now. That it is no longer a choice. I think seeing a gluten filled food you like, but can't have does the same thing, especially if it is something you haven't eaten in awhile. Before you passed on it because you weren't hungry, in the mood for it, whatever. Now you absolutely can't have it, no matter what. And that is a difficult thing to deal with. It makes me feel powerless.

[dandelionmom]

I hope it is normal because I've been doing the same thing! I'm mourning convenient take-out and delivery.

[njbeachbum]

no you are not crazy at all. i have only been gluten free for a week, but on friday night i went out for a friend's birthday. we did a little bit of bar hopping in nyc, and i only had a couple of drinks b/c i am still being gentle on my tummy. at the end of the night, my friend (visibly intoxicated) said, hey let's get some pizza! UUUUGGGGHHH!!! one of my fondest memories of my nights out with my friends is grabbing a 2am slice of nyc pizza and chowing down before the journey home. no more though. i'll just take a ginger ale, thanks.

sad, so so sad

[VioletBlue]

No, you're not crazy. We have probably all been there at some point.

I had this dream last night where I sat down at a restaurant and went through every menu item one by one with the chef and I couldn't eat any of it. Some would say that was a nightmare, LOL. In the dream I was terribly depressed because it was always going to be like this and my life was doomed.

One of the realizations I came to this morning in thinking about this dream is that I've never before in my life had to give anything up forever that I didn't want to give up. Then it hit me that what they say about giving up drugs and alcohol is very true; you take it one day at a time. I finally get what that means. When I stop and think about forever and never being able to eat bread again it's heartbreaking. So I try real hard to never think about forever. I've been taking it one grocery shopping trip at a time, one meal at a time. I try and stay on track and not think about never eating gluten for the next twenty or thirty or forty years of my life - sob. One day at a time, one meal at a time.

Violet

[moonlitemama]

Totally understandable!

My solution (and believe me, I've had a number of these instances!) has been to make it a challenge to myself to find a decent substitute. I find that if I pull myself up and try to keep positive & do something about it, it helps far more that being depressed about what life has handed me. (Often easier said than done!)

If it helps, Living Without magazine had a recipe for croissants. I haven't tried to make them yet, but it's on my list.

Piece de Resistance Croissant

makes 24 Croissants

1 c. sorghum flour

1/2 c. chickpea flour

1/2 c. almond meal

1 c. rice flour

1 c. cornstarch or tapioca starch

4 tsp. xanthan gum

1 1/2 tsp. salt

4 tsp. yeast

1/4 c. sugar

1 c. warm milk, soy milk or water

2 eggs

8 Tbsp. (1 stick) butter, margarine or Earth's Best Spread, melted

12 Tbsp. (1 1/2 sticks) butter, margarine, vegetable shortening or Earth's Best spread, cut into small pieces (or a mixture)*

Optional Fillings:

1/2 c. seedless raspberry jam, softened briefly in microwave

1/2 c. mini chocolate chips

1/2 c. chopped pecans or walnuts

1. Combine first seven ingredients and blend well. Scoop 1 cup flour mixture into medium mixing bowl. Add yeast and sugar to the cup of flour and blend thoroughly. Combine milk and eggs and add to this mixture. Add melted butter and beat until smooth. Reserve.

2. In separate bowl, cut butter into remaining flour mixture until butter pieces are the size of large peas. Pour liquid batter into flour mixture and stir or beat until moistened throughout. Cover and refrigerated for 4 hours or overnight.

3. Remove dough from refrigerator and press into a compact ball on a surface that has been lightly covered with rice flour. Divide dough into 3 equal parts. Roll each third into a 12-inch circle. Cut into 8 pie-shaped wedges. Separate wedges and roll each wedge through the length of the piece so that it is about 1/8 inch thick.**

Brush with jam or sprinkle with chocolate chips or nuts, if used. Roll wedge toward the point. Shape into a crescent by curving the edges. Set on an ungreased baking sheet or a sheet lined with parchment paper. Cover with plastic and let rise at room temperature until doubled. (This may take 2 hours if the room is cool.)

4. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Brush each with egg beaten with cold water. Place croissants in oven and immediately lower temperature to 350 degrees. Bake 15 to 20 minutes or until golden.

*Tip: You may need to freeze the margarine or Earth's Best spread in order to cut it into pieces.

**Tip: A thiner wedge means more "layers" and a flakier texture when the dough is rolled up. However, dough should not be paper-thin.

[kevsmom]

As I was sitting in an Italian restaurant waiting for my salad (No croutons, brought my own dressing) to arrive, the table next to me was delivered a pizza. It looked and smelled so good, I actually sat there with tears running down my face.

Cindy

[Eriella]

If it makes you feel better, I just started crying because I thought I bought frosting that I can eat and found out that it wasn't gluten free. It took me months before I could sit in a pizzeria (and I still sometimes cry) or bakery. It will be a miracle if I make it though Christmas without crying over christmas cookies.

I wish that I could tell you want would make it better, but quite simply, celiac stinks. I miss pizza. I miss bread. I miss brownies. And, I don't care what anyone says, the gluten free alternatives are no where near as good.

[larry mac]

December 18th will be my one year anniversary. I haven't purposely eaten gluten, not once. Still, I have cravings all the time. One thing that keps me from cheating, I wouldn't know where to start. Don't think I could choose from all the things I love.

I look at it as kind of like being an alcoholic. You know you could drink, but it's not a good idea. Bad things would most likely happen. I have alcoholic friends and family members. They don't mind if others drink around them. I don't mind if others eat normal food around me.

best regards, lm

[EBsMom]

Did anyone else mourn food they can't eat anymore or am I just nuttier then I thought I was?

You're not nutty....you're normal, by my standards. I burst into tears once when I saw someone carrying a birthday cake out of the grocery store. I'm not sure if I was mourning the food, or the convenience of the food, but I was crying hard, regardless of the exact reason. I also cried in the grocery store once, early on, when I was trying to learn to shop gluten-free, and the smell of pizza has brought tears to my eyes on several occasions.

BTW....you can make just about anything gluten-free. All the baked goods that you loved before going gluten-free can be "yours" again when you feel like trying to recreate them. gluten-free baking is another steep learning curve (like learning to shop gluten-free) - I wasn't up to taking it on for a while after going gluten-free. I'm trying now, though - one "item" at a time. I've had some flops, but I've also had some grand successes. At some point - when I feel REALLY ambitious - I'm going to try to make chocolate croissants for my dd. She loved those before going gluten-free (and so did I!)

Rhonda

[Gemini]

Last night my husband made some croissant rolls to go with some home made soup he made. He has been great in getting my gluten free stuff for me to eat and really goes out of his way to find good tasting stuff. I told him to go ahead and make them. That was a big mistake. It smelled soooooooo good. I sat in the kitchen sniffing them remebering what they tasted like. Then I busted into tears because I'll never be able to have that again. It was like I was mourning over a loved one who died.

I've been gluten free for 2 months now and haven't had any real cravings to eat food that is "off limits" until last night. My daughter and husband have made cookies, brownies and other stuff that I can't ahve and I was ok with all of that. Did anyone else mourn food they can't eat anymore or am I just nuttier then I thought I was?

No, I don't think you are nutty at all. I only had one moment recently in 2 1/2 years where I was momentarily sad about not being able to have a particular food but it passed very quickly because I decided to make my own, gluten-free. That always helps when you know there are many good recipes for the same things you cannot have in their gluten filled forms. Mine was the local Greek festival and I was all excited about going until I remembered I couldn't eat any of the food that was there. My gluten-free pastitsio was delicious, though!

What really helped me not have any problems going gluten-free was the fact that I got so sick from eating it. It was like digesting glass so my cravings for everything were not there. I only crave gluten-free food, which I'm grateful for. I think everyone has a trigger food and you will have some emotional moments but you'll be fine! My husband is totally supportive in this, like yours, and that's a huge help.

[Kathy'sUnicorns]

Thanks everyone. Hearing everyones experience has really helped me in not feeling like I need mental help I think I'm going to try and make a gluten free cake. My husband bought one at the store (not sure which brand since it is something new to try) and I found an icing that doesn't have gluten in it so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[VioletBlue]

Oh no.

I'd forgotten about Christmas cookies. Many of our vendors love to send us boxes and baskets of goodies. I'm not looking forward to that. Lets see, the big tin of popcorn? Nope, allergic to GMO corn. The big box of gingerbread cookies? Nope, gluten. The bottles of wine? Nope, allergic to sulfities. Great, I get to watch the parade of pretty crap come through here. So not looking forward to that. What are the odds I can steer them all towards fruit baskets?

If it makes you feel better, I just started crying because I thought I bought frosting that I can eat and found out that it wasn't gluten free. It took me months before I could sit in a pizzeria (and I still sometimes cry) or bakery. It will be a miracle if I make it though Christmas without crying over christmas cookies.

I wish that I could tell you want would make it better, but quite simply, celiac stinks. I miss pizza. I miss bread. I miss brownies. And, I don't care what anyone says, the gluten free alternatives are no where near as good.

[JNBunnie1]

I wish that I could tell you want would make it better, but quite simply, celiac stinks. I miss pizza. I miss bread. I miss brownies. And, I don't care what anyone says, the gluten free alternatives are no where near as good.

I have to disagree. I have had some seriously better than gluten stuff so far. For one, the pretzels! Normal pretzels are dry and flavorless, our pretzels are yummy and my friends are always stealing them. And I have had some out-of-this world brownies. And if you really still can't find anything, make the hot fudge cake on the recipes section of this site. Holy crap I almost cried. Not to mention the Gluten Free Pantry chocolate chip cake being utterly fabulous. Maybe I'm just not as picky though.

[gheidie]

I so understand!!!!

I so miss the convinience!!! I was a chaperone for my son's highschool band trip. I did real good with packing a cooler of food, but the last meal we went to the mall to a food court... do you know there was not one thing there I could eat other than a salad.. and I just didn't want a salad.. I was ready to burst into tears!!! So I had a icecream sunday!!! I got a lot of funny looks, but I just didn't know what else to eat!!!

I have been gluten free since Aug 2006. There are times it is tough (left over turkey sandwiches sniff sniff) but for me feeling better finally is worth more than the soft sourdough bread! The toughest thing for me is being able to run and grab something... I have learn I must be prepared and on weekends make meals and individually pack them.

[num1habsfan]

It's not bad at all if you do this. I do too, ESPECIALLY pizza. OMG if I see a bunch of people around me eating it, I go completely mental. And pyrogies...sure I have a gluten-free recipe for them but they have always been my favourite food. I grew up on them and would probably eat them every single day if I could. I also get upset when the little kids, like m 3 year old cousin, offers me a cookie. She's still too young to explain why, I just tell her no thank you, I'll get a sore tummy. But it secretly kills me...

In February it will be 5 years on the diet...i've gotten better, but sometimes its just much too hard and if I have a good cry about it I'll feel better shortly after.

~ Lisa ~

[VioletBlue]

I used to love the gluten-free pretzels too until I realized I was allergic to non organic corn and terribly allergic to corn starch in particular. The more allergies someone has the fewer options, and the allergies are a result of Celiac. I can't touch the pretzels now. I never thought I'd ever live like this. If someone had told me two years ago I'd never eat bread or potatos or potato chips or store bought corn again I would have said it's not possible. If someone had told me I'd never bake another loaf of wheat bread or roll out another batch of cinnamon rolls I would have said I'd sooner die. When you have mutliple allergies you have to be picky. The gluten-free Pantry mixes invariably contain potato flour and or potato starch. Some of us are just luckier than others when it comes to the particulars of Celiac Disease.

I have to disagree. I have had some seriously better than gluten stuff so far. For one, the pretzels! Normal pretzels are dry and flavorless, our pretzels are yummy and my friends are always stealing them. And I have had some out-of-this world brownies. And if you really still can't find anything, make the hot fudge cake on the recipes section of this site. Holy crap I almost cried. Not to mention the Gluten Free Pantry chocolate chip cake being utterly fabulous. Maybe I'm just not as picky though.