Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Ignorant Step-father


r0ckah0l1c

Recommended Posts

r0ckah0l1c Apprentice

I still live under my parents' roof and it seems that my step father always feels he is right about MY celiac disease complications even though he does not experience what I experience. He claims that doctors have told me that I can eat things with gluten in them because I will not react to everything, I have to eat things with gluten to find out if all gluten products will affect me. He says I just ignored the doctor saying this and that my breathing difficulties, constipation, uncomfortable bloating, and skin irritations are caused by me thinking about them too much. He says I am overreacting and a hypochondriac. It's confusing because he has spent tons of money on gluten free food and doctors appointments, so why is he being so hypocritical now? What do I do so that he will stop poisoning me with gluten? Any help is greatly appreciated =)


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



one more mile Contributor

He is probably just afraid. People tend to react out of either fear or love and when they are told that what they think is the "staff of life" they tend to be scared. I have had more then one person say that they would just die if They found out that they were allergic to wheat.

I have been told my whole life that I am a hypochondriac by my family. It is so nice for me to finely have something to pin all my symptoms on. I still get crap from them from time to time. My dad ,who is not a church goer, just told me that I was going against Gods will because I will not eat bread, which in the bible is the staff of life. I just grinned and did not bother fighting with him over something so dumb. I know what happens when I eat bread.

I guess my point is that I do not need to prove right or wrong to someone else I know that gluten will make me ill.It would be hard living under those circumstances.But being sick is harder. I hope he comes around for you.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

I would say that there is a point at which you must simply say no. Noone can force food down your throat. I learned early that it is far better to go without than to eat gluten. This may trigger more severe behavior on his part, but I say refuse to argue, and refuse to eat anything not safe for you. Only you can protect your health. And where's your mother in all this?

NorthernElf Enthusiast

Somewhere along the line every celiac has to put their foot down & take control. I think the reason many of us have a problem doing this is because our road to discovering we have celiacs is 'murky'. Most of us have been dealing with weird symptoms for years, some of us don't even get a definitive diagnosis...that's the problem with a disease that you can't test for once you are gluten free. The other issue is that the list of symptoms is long & variable. Some people are very reactive instantly, others aren't...and some are almost asymptomatic. Any way you look at it though, we all MUST avoid gluten for our long term health.

Yes, it isn't easy !!!

Your best defense is a good offense. Be very strict, zero tolerance. Don't let any gluten pass your lips. The minute those around you see you being strict with your diet, consistently, they will start to leave you alone. It will take awhile to convince everyone. Remember, they have seen you eat gluten for years - some don't understand why you can't anymore. It's not as dramatic as a peanut allergy, with a fast, intense reaction (thank goodness!) but it is important for you to protect your intestinal tract.

People I am around know I can't eat it - don't even try to push it on me because I never go near it. Once in awhile I accidentally gluten myself and that's enough - they see the effects. I'm not a nice person to be around if I get glutened ! :P

Does this suck - you bet. Be good to yourself first though and stick to it - I decided a long time ago that I want to feel good all the time and going without some of my favorite foods is worth it. At this point, I rarely miss most of it.

r0ckah0l1c Apprentice

My mother believes me, but my step father is a military man and nobody can ever convince him that he is wrong. I never knowingly let gluten pass my lips, I am just trying to find a way for him to realize that I can't eat ANY gluten. I don't know why he thinks that some amounts of it are okay. He has diverticulitis (unsure if that is spelled correctly) and sometimes he can eat seeds and nuts and be fine so he doesn't realize that celiac disease is more complicated.

Gobbie Apprentice

You and I seem to be going through s very similar situation.

Perhaps this parents in denial issue after all is a common thing with Food Intolerances perhaps especially with gluten involved since it generally tastes 'nice' and is found almost everywhere.

You just have to say NO I think.

One can try to 'prove' by giving evidences via actions or whatever but believe me it is NOT worth it and I speak from experience. My parents are in FULL denial about my severe gluten intolerance along with few other ones and whenever I try to prove myself right by consuming gluten and displaying the symptoms they do not believe me still. They argue that it is because I have not consumed enough gluten or that my brain is making things up. Really? Everytime? Eventhough I am often unaware certain products contain gluten until symptoms show and I read the ingredient list? lol.

They are absolutely overjoyed when seeing me consuming on gluten or grains (I am badly intolerant to this as well perhaps worse than gluten). Only the gluten sufferers would know what they would have looked like in my mind lol.

I am not sure how to make your step father believe in you as I am having trouble with that myself but DO NOT consume on the offender foods. It is only going to make you physically sick. I know that having trust issues with your family makes you depressed and brings cloud over your mind but at least your body will be alright, you know.

Only if there is a button that will make our loved ones ACCEPT our conditions. If only.

xoxo

ang1e0251 Contributor

I would say your step father doesn't need to believe it; only you do. Don't worry about him.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - cristiana replied to Dizzyma's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      2

      Newly diagnosed mam to coeliac 11 year old

    2. - trents replied to Dizzyma's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      2

      Newly diagnosed mam to coeliac 11 year old

    3. - Dizzyma posted a topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      2

      Newly diagnosed mam to coeliac 11 year old

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,921
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Rusty49
    Newest Member
    Rusty49
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):
  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • cristiana
      Hi @Dizzyma I note what @trents has commented about you possibly posting from the UK.  Just to let you know that am a coeliac based in the UK, so if that is the case, do let me know if can help you with any questions on the NHS provision for coeliacs.    If you are indeed based in the UK, and coeliac disease is confirmed, I would thoroughly recommend you join Coeliac UK, as they provide a printed food and drink guide and also a phone app which you can take shopping with you so you can find out if a product is gluten free or not. But one thing I would like to say to you, no matter where you live, is you mention that your daughter is anxious.  I was always a bit of a nervous, anxious child but before my diagnosis in mid-life my anxiety levels were through the roof.   My anxiety got steadily better when I followed the gluten-free diet and vitamin and mineral deficiencies were addressed.  Anxiety is very common at diagnosis, you may well find that her anxiety will improve once your daughter follows a strict gluten-free diet. Cristiana 
    • trents
      Welcome to the celic.com community @Dizzyma! I'm assuming you are in the U.K. since you speak of your daughter's celiac disease blood tests as "her bloods".  Has her physician officially diagnosed her has having celiac disease on the results of her blood tests alone? Normally, if the ttg-iga blood test results are positive, a follow-up endoscopy with biopsy of the small bowel lining to check for damage would be ordered to confirm the results of "the bloods". However if the ttg-iga test score is 10x normal or greater, some physicians, particularly in the U.K., will dispense with the endoscopy/biopsy. If there is to be an endoscopy/biopsy, your daughter should not yet begin the gluten free diet as doing so would allow healing of the small bowel lining to commence which may result in a biopsy finding having results that conflict with the blood work. Do you know if an endoscopy/biopsy is planned? Celiac disease can have onset at any stage of life, from infancy to old age. It has a genetic base but the genes remain dormant until and unless triggered by some stress event. The stress event can be many things but it is often a viral infection. About 40% of the general population have the genetic potential to develop celiac disease but only about 1% actually develop celiac disease. So, for most, the genes remain dormant.  Celiac disease is by nature an autoimmune disorder. That is to say, gluten ingestion triggers an immune response that causes the body to attack its own tissues. In this case, the attack happens in he lining of the small bowel, at least classically, though we now know there are other body systems that can sometimes be affected. So, for a person with celiac disease, when they ingest gluten, the body sends attacking cells to battle the gluten which causes inflammation as the gluten is being absorbed into the cells that make up the lining of the small bowel. This causes damage to the cells and over time, wears them down. This lining is composed of billions of tiny finger-like projections and which creates a tremendous surface area for absorbing nutrients from the food we eat. This area of the intestinal track is where all of our nutrition is absorbed. As these finger-like projections get worn down by the constant inflammation from continued gluten consumption before diagnosis (or after diagnosis in the case of those who are noncompliant) the efficiency of nutrient absorption from what we eat can be drastically reduced. This is why iron deficiency anemia and other nutrient deficiency related medical problems are so common in the celiac population. So, to answer your question about the wisdom of allowing your daughter to consume gluten on a limited basis to retain some tolerance to it, that would not be a sound approach because it would prevent healing of the lining of her small bowel. It would keep the fires of inflammation smoldering. The only wise course is strict adherence to a gluten free diet, once all tests to confirm celiac disease are complete.
    • Dizzyma
      Hi all, I have so many questions and feel like google is giving me very different information. Hoping I may get some more definite answers here. ok, my daughter has been diagnosed as a coeliac as her bloods show anti TTG antibodies are over 128. We have started her  on a full gluten free diet. my concerns are that she wasn’t actually physically sick on her regular diet, she had tummy issues and skin sores. My fear is that she will build up a complete intolerance to gluten and become physically sick if she has gluten. Is there anything to be said for keeping a small bit of gluten in the diet to stop her from developing a total intolerance?  also, she would be an anxious type of person, is it possible that stress is the reason she has become coeliac? I read that diagnosis later in childhood could be following a sickness or stress. How can she have been fine for the first 10 years and then become coeliac? sorry, I’m just very confused and really want to do right by her. I know a coeliac and she has a terrible time after she gets gluttened so just want to make sure going down a total gluten free road is the right choice. thank you for any help or advise xx 
    • xxnonamexx
      very interesting thanks for the info  
    • Florence Lillian
      More cookie recipes ...thanks so much for the heads-up Scott.  One can never have too many.  Cheers, Florence.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.