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I Feel Like I'm Nagging

Roda

By Roda
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted

I really am beginning to think I am nagging all the time to my husband. I live in a shared household where I am the only one gluten free. Everything appeard to be going alright, until recently when I did some observation during my time off. My husband has his area on the counter that he can do his and the boys' gluten stuff. They have their own shelf in the pantry. The condiments are shared as are the lunch meats/cheese (We buy packaged gluten free). The issue I am having with him is that I observed him getting out his bread to make a sandwich, then he opened up the lunchmeat/cheese and grabbed what he wanted, made his sandwich, sealed it up and put it away. Anybody see the problem here? When I asked him not to do that or at least wash his hands after the bread and before opening/closing the packages, his response was "I'm only touching what I am going to eat." Don't get me wrong he is understanding and takes this serious, I just didn't realize he was taking shortcuts with that stuff. If he cooks dinner it is always gluten free and he is always good, since I am always home. He eats sandwiches almost daily for lunch and since I was off I was privey to his practices. How can I get my point across without seeming like I am nagging? He won't give up certain things, which I am ok with he just needs to me more careful. As for the condiments I usually wash after touching the outside of the containers (most are squeezeable) and before touching my food. I know the handle of the fridge is an issue so I make sure to wash after it also.

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The Fluffy Assassin Enthusiast
The Fluffy Assassin
Posted
I really am beginning to think I am nagging all the time to my husband. I live in a shared household where I am the only one gluten free. Everything appeard to be going alright, until recently when I did some observation during my time off. My husband has his area on the counter that he can do his and the boys' gluten stuff. They have their own shelf in the pantry. The condiments are shared as are the lunch meats/cheese (We buy packaged gluten free). The issue I am having with him is that I observed him getting out his bread to make a sandwich, then he opened up the lunchmeat/cheese and grabbed what he wanted, made his sandwich, sealed it up and put it away. Anybody see the problem here? When I asked him not to do that or at least wash his hands after the bread and before opening/closing the packages, his response was "I'm only touching what I am going to eat." Don't get me wrong he is understanding and takes this serious, I just didn't realize he was taking shortcuts with that stuff. If he cooks dinner it is always gluten free and he is always good, since I am always home. He eats sandwiches almost daily for lunch and since I was off I was privey to his practices. How can I get my point across without seeming like I am nagging? He won't give up certain things, which I am ok with he just needs to me more careful. As for the condiments I usually wash after touching the outside of the containers (most are squeezeable) and before touching my food. I know the handle of the fridge is an issue so I make sure to wash after it also.

In the first place, have the boys been tested? There is either a 1 in 7 or a 1 in 10 chance that immediate family members of celiacs are also celiac. I'm assuming that they've been tested, but if they haven't that's the first priority.

As to the lunch meat, just sit down with him and figure it out. If he wants to make sandwiches that way, you'll just have to have your own lunch meat separately labeled and segregated. But of course that'll cost more. If he wants to pay more for his own convenience, let him. If he wants to take the trouble to watch his hands carefully every time, thereby saving some money, that's good, too. (You might want to get him to read up on cross-contamination, though.)

Crayons574 Contributor
Crayons574
Posted

What I have had to do is, when one of us gets back from the grocery store, I am the first to take out some of the lunch meat and snacks or what have you, and then I will put that in a separate plastic bag that has my name on it, and a "do not touch unless you have washed your hands with Gluten-Free soap" sign on it. Also, I have had to get my own condiments and put my name on them as well.

It's a bit more of a hassle to do this, but no one is going to be as careful about things as you are--even if they mean well. Sometimes, it might not cross their mind to wash their hands after they have touched bread and are reaching for the lunch meat.

So, I would say to put your lunch meat and condiments in completely separate, labeled containers. You will have to worry a lot less and perhaps it will allow your husband to be more aware of your concerns without having to verbalize it anymore. Hope that helps :)

Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted
  • Author

The Fluffy Assassin--

Yes my boys have been tested and were negative. I had them tested Nov. 08 when the youngest was almost 4 and the oldest was going on 8. Their ttg was 1 and 2 respectively ref. range >20 positive. I did think at one point the oldest was at least gluten intolerent, but for now I have rethought this. He is doing good and I believe his sx (moodiess and minor behavior) are from his seasonal allergies. The youngest is growing like a weed and has shown no signs yet.

I don't really like the idea of buying two different packages of the lunchmeat/cheese, since I will have a lot more waste.

Crayons574--

I guess something that simple never occured to me. Thanks for the suggestion it will make things simpler. Sometimes the simplest things allude me like I have a permanant brain fart. :lol:

ranger Enthusiast
ranger
Posted

Glad to see someone use the term brain fart! Once again, this forum makes me feel like I'm not alone! LOL

ang1e0251 Contributor
ang1e0251
Posted

That's like when your spouse demolishes the tooth paste container. Just get your own toothpaste. No one likes to be nagged.

I really liked the suggestion someone made on another thread. She said get a plastic box to go in your fridge for all your gluten-free stuff. That made a lot of sense. It's very obvious and a no brainer for the rest of the family. We need no brainers in my family.

Billygean Apprentice
Billygean
Posted

Are you feeling well? If you are, I wouldn't worry about things like this, especially if you only noticed it on your days off - if you are feeling okay try not to stress. You cannot have absolute control over your environment and arguably having a few molecules of gluten here and there will help you if you ever want to eat out and there's a risk of CC> If it's not affecting your health I wouldn't bother, I spent a lot of time stressing but as long as you've got the big things down - no shared toasters, butter, etc - then I wouldn't nag.

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Ariauna Apprentice
Ariauna
Posted

No one likes to nag or to be nagged about anything but this is your health and all of us here know what you will go through if you get cc'd and it is horrible. Although it is impossible for your family to remember the hand washing all the time and for them to think about cc everytime they go into the fridge for some food or the cupboards we can ask them to be thoughtful.

My kids/husband their own cupboards I don't even do shelves. I have about 3 cupboards that are mine and they have about 4 that are theirs, the rest are used for dishes ect... I keep all my food, pans and dishes in my own gluten-free cupboard. I also have my own silverware/drawer and the counter above it is never used for preparing normal foods. If my family prepares food they do it on the table and then wipe if off immediately. I pretty much prepare my own food and as far as my food in the fridge goes I have a snap tight container that I keep my items in. All these things help to eliminate the possibility of being cc'd.

The only issue that I worry about is our oven as of course we don't have two of... we just make sure we clean it out a couple times a week. Our microwave oven I am just sure to wipe it out before I use it... a bit time consuming but worth it to me :)

Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted
  • Author

I can truthfully say that this was the only thing I was complaining about. He generally does a good job. I do have to admit sometimes I can get onto something and he just has to come out and tell me to be quiet about it. :lol: I guess we all need our checkes and balances. Thanks everyone for the insight and help. It is greatly appreciated.

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