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I Hate Feeling Like I Am Crazy....

tictax707

By tictax707
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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tictax707 Apprentice
tictax707
Posted

Ok all, there is a food somewhere in my diet that is irritating me. I can't be sure if it is gluten, because as we all know there are a host of other intolerances out there, of which I have a few. But I get really frustrated at times like this when something I am eating is CLEARLY irritating my system and I can't figure out what it is. I have been slowly eliminating certain suspect foods over the past few days, and instead of getting better, I am getting worse. So clearly the culprit is still in there somewhere. Tomorrow I am putting the brakes on this whole process and going back to my rice cereal and meal supplement to give myself a chance to rest and slowly add back in basic foods.

I hate this mentality that I get in where I start suspecting everything I eat all over again. I am really truly careful about this diet, I make all my own food, and don't often eat out, much less eat things that contain ingredient lists. It's like this crazy form or paranoia or dementia where I don't feel safe and I don't know where the enemy is hiding and it really stresses me out. I am also stressed about getting sick because I have a race (triathlon) this coming weekend. We have to swim off Alcatraz island to the mainland, and while I am properly freaked out about that, I can't have my strength sapped by some sneaky ingredient!!! This race is too important to me!

I am scared of being sick and confused about the offending food and frustrated with this whole process. I realize I am not looking for help finding the offending food - I am looking for help battling these mental states that come on when we start to feel sick or threatened. :( (where's the emoticon that's actually crying?!)

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mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

I know, it really stinks to have to feel paranoid about everything you put in your mouth :o Don't let it get you down!. I think your plan following the race is a good one - go back to basics and start again, one by one. It's really the only way to be sure. Good luck with the race :) Hope you swim at high tide!!

tictax707 Apprentice
tictax707
Posted
  • Author

Thanks for the well wishes, mushroom. Just having someone tell me I am doing the right thing helps. :) Today saw some improvements over yesterday. One good thing about going back to the basics is that the fear and paranoia go away because I really do trust my baby food & meal replacement! Emotionally, that makes quite a difference. After one more day of rest I will be hopefully ready for real food again. (just in time!)

PS - I checked the tides too! They should be in our favor... :D

Skylark Collaborator
Skylark
Posted

I don't know about you, but eating gluten actually makes me depressed and anxious. When I get glutened I don't only have to cope with the frustration, but also a physical anxiety reaction caused by the gluten itself. I wonder if you have something similar going on? I know the feeling of returning to "safe" foods. I've been eating home cooked food all week after getting glutened Sunday.

Good luck in your race!

butterfl8 Rookie
butterfl8
Posted

Banana's? They are good too, right? I can sympathize with how you feel. I know soy is a total problem for me, but I keep thinking there's something else that is keeping me from being 100%. Or what I think 100% should be? Should I cut out x, y, z? AHHHHH!!! You can do this! And you are much stronger than I am, being willing to search to find the culprit. I will probably wait until I actually feel really bad, not just 'not good.'

Here's hoping the support helps--

-Daisy

tictax707 Apprentice
tictax707
Posted
  • Author

the support really does help, and I am so grateful! And I DO get real depression/anxiety with these incidents... I can feel this whole mental/physical circuit that gets activated and it seriously adds to the downer of it all. Blech - hopefully tomorrow will be the end of this dip, but my system sure does seem to be taking its sweet time... <_<

BethM55 Enthusiast
BethM55
Posted

I hear ya'. I'm finally realizing that when I'm moody and irritable, it's likely I've been glutened. Of course, there's PMS, family, etc, etc, but I'm thinking that when I get that really out of control, out of body, wanting to bite someone's head off irritability and depression and despair, gluten could easily be the culprit. Sigh. It's more complicated than I ever thought. :blink:

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