Do You Have Friends Who Do Gluten-Free But Not Seriously?

[Monklady123]

I bet there's probably been a thread about this, but I can never get the search thing to work for me.

Anyway, I'm just annoyed at a friend of mine. I don't mean to sound snarky, and she's a really nice person and a good friend...but...

So she has decided that she is "sensitive to gluten" (her words). She says she gets headaches when she eats it. Especially, she says, when she eats regular pasta. So she's totally gone gluten-free. She says. But, she never worries about hidden gluten, and she'll eat stuff if it looks good. Like recently we were on a trip together and the hotel put on a marvelous buffet, including a huge dessert table. I couldn't eat any of it, of course, but she ate something every night because she "couldn't resist".

We went out to breakfast the other day, to a diner we go to regularly. I've always ordered the fried eggs and bacon and never got sick. This time I was. (either I'm becoming more sensitive or I was just lucky the times before). She said "oh it must have been something else you ate because I'm fine." Well, it wasn't anything else I ate because first of all it was breakfast, so the last meal I'd had was dinner the night before which was cooked by me. And second, I know how long a gluten reaction takes and this was just right to be breakfast.

Or, we were taking about communion at church and I was saying how I always feel left out when we do communion by intinction (breaking off a piece of bread and dipping it in the wine before eating). I haven't found a gluten-free bread that will dip without falling apart. She said "oh, could you just take a small piece, that's what I do." No, I could not "just take a small piece" unless I want to feel miserable.

Well... no real answer, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. But it is annoying!

[kareng]

She probably isn't really sick. Most people feel better if they don't eat alot of gluten at once. Its hard to digest. Just like most people feel bad if they ate a couple of greasy meals in a row.

I have a friend that was diagnosed with Celiac as a kid. She doesn't do gluten-free at all. She says she does, just eats a little gluten. Baloney! Her hub says she gets stomach issues all the time but blames it on everything else but the celiac disease. Its frustrating!

My SIL is supposed to eat mostly gluten-free because of some other problems with her small intestines being damaged. GI got a good look when sewing it back together and says its not celiac disease at that time anyway. She hasn't been eating gluten light (accidental crouton in salad is OK, lots of croutons not OK) like she should. Now she's feeling it and cutting back.

We have a saying at our house, from car racing, "Drive your own race." Meaning you have to pay attention to what you are doing and do what will win your race. Sorta..

[Kay DH]

I know the feeling. I am very sensitive to cc. I am thankful to the people that believe they have gluten problems, whether they do or not, because it makes gluten-free more accessible to the rest of us. I made gluten-free pizza for a work party (I couldn't eat the Pizza Hut pizza) and made extra for a gluten-free friend. She followed it up with a gluten-full chocolate cupcake. I call people like this gluten-free-lite. It would be frustrating that your friend doesn't understand that you have a real problem with gluten.

[cdog7]

OMG I so relate to this. I have a friend, who is a great person, but she never takes her 'gluten sensitivity' seriously at all. She's never looked into it further than what her doctor initially told her, never questioned her blood test results, always been 100% convinced it's no big deal and she can eat whatever she wants. Every time we go out I think she eats gluten

[RideAllWays]

Ugh, my boyfriend's mom is like this, as well as being a 6'2 very loud and powerful woman, not someone to mess with. I HATE when she has to cook for me, because she thinks she knows exactly what she is doing, which she does not. She does eat EnviroKidz cereal and eat gluten-free crackers, but if she feels like bread and wants it, she'll eat it. She doesn't really get very sick..I've watched her eat gluten many many times, but apparently it makes her stomach very upset. She held a big party/housewarming even and had it catered, and was offended when I wouldn't eat the veggies or fruit that were sitting right beside the sandwiches. My boyfriend and I live together and have a completely gluten-free house and she'll try to bring the nasty stuff in here and cook IN MY OWN HOME. I totally understand your frustration!

[mushroom]

My hub does not intentionally eat gluten, but he does not take responsibility for keeping himself gluten free - he relies on me to do that. And because I have so many other food intolerances, he assumes I do not buy/eat certain products because of that, which is true for the most part. But when he buys those products for himself (and I don't mind him doing this because I do not get cc'd from them if they do not contain gluten) he does not check the labels, just 'assumes' they are gluten free. So he arrives home with potato chips that contain gluten (WHEAT clearly on the label), and when I point this out he goes ahead and eats the product anyway, because, well, he bought it, and he has managed to fly under the radar this way for a while now without reactivating his DH. He does not relate or does not care, it seems, that this inattention continues to give him D on a regular basis, because it does not cause him suffering

He has never read this forum (except for things I have pointed out to him), has never informed himself about celiac disease (everything he knows he has learned from me), and frustrates the heck out of me with his casualness about it. So whenever he purchases a processed food product for the household, unless it is a regular product we use, I have to read the labels Actually, he is really not doing this any more because he knows what gluten does to me, but he thinks that because his symptoms are milder than mine that gluten is not bothering him. And since he has done no reading he is blissful in his ignorance!

[srall]

I think some people do react well to a low gluten diet. My husband is gluten free at home but of course he still eats burgers and such for lunch when he's working. He's admitted that he feels better, and has lost weight and is not as gassy as before we took the house gluten free. So even though he's still getting it somewhere, he feels better for cutting down.

But it can make it soooooo frustrating when people don't understand that a crumb or small amount can incapacitate you for days.

[VioletBlue]

My friend doesn't even bother with the "just a little" thing. She knows what gluten does to her but she eats it when she wants to anyway. She says "I just have to deal with the aftermath is all." She's stressed by her life so I get that she'd rather be able to stop and pick up a regular old pizza on the way home. But it makes it hard for some of our mutual friends to get why I am so careful with my diet. I wind up feeling like the idiot and the bad guy because I won't just "deal with it".

[i-geek]

My husband has two uncles and a cousin who are supposed to be gluten-free. Uncle #1 is a diagnosed celiac and a medical doctor. Mostly he's gluten-free, although I did see him take communion from the common plate at a recent family funeral and then pull the filling out of a sandwich and eat it at the wake (both of which would have me paying with symptoms for a week). Uncle #2 and his daughter completely ignore their doctors' advice and continue to eat and drink whatever they want. It makes me not want to eat at family events because even if the food is supposedly gluten-free, no one else is being careful with it.

Interestingly, my husband is strongly suspecting a wheat intolerance (he's fine with barley and rye). The family Christmas is going to be really interesting this year.

[Marz]

I have colleagues like this - one has a gluten-intolerant mom that's very active in the local celiac community, so he should know better! But he will still happily eat muffins, cakes and burgers at work functions. His symptoms are just feeling "flu-y" - running nose, feeling "sick" but no stomach problems.

Another colleague I heard about from someone else - "Oh, so-and-so is gluten-intolerant, but she sometimes eats some wheat". I felt like responding "Oh really? I hope you're not inferring that I do the same?"

Stuff like this is why I say I've got celiac disease rather - I'm not officially diagnosed, but I don't compromise.

[K8ling]

Do you guys remember my post a while back where my husbands grandmother said I could just take the toppings off the pizza and eat those?

We're staying with them over Christmas.

GAH

[rainer83]

I have a couple of friends who sneak some bread in once in a while. The one is my natural path doctor/friend who diagnosed me. I was quite shocked when she said she'll sneak in some bread, but no more than a few times a year. She is fully aware though it's still doing damage, but she's not so sensitive to it anymore. I told them both I've done enough damage to my intestines I refuse to take any chances. My one friend also drinks a lot of beer that's made of barley and wheat. I was told Bud was a rice beer, but upon looking into it further, it looks like there's barley in it too, so I've stopped drinking it and will stick with Crown Royal whiskey that is gluten free.

[kareng]

Do you guys remember my post a while back where my husbands grandmother said I could just take the toppings off the pizza and eat those?

We're staying with them over Christmas.

GAH

When I was a very little kid, like 2. My grandma said that children should wake up Xmas morning in their own beds, go to the tree they helped decorate and have Xmas at their own homes. Grandmas can visit for Xmas or be visited before or after Xmas. She was a wise woman. We really loved having Xmas at home.

For your safety and sanity, K8, WTF are you doing to yourself? If you are constantly worried or sick, the little Goober won't be having fun. He will start to associate holidays with unpleasant things.

[K8ling]

I was great with Thanksgiving. My husbands grandparents are probably not going to make it to next Christmas...he's deploying for a year. If I need to make a small sacrifice for my husband, since he is going to be getting shot at for a year, I will do it. Being a military wife MEANS sometime taking one for the team and this is one of those times. I am going to ship a box of food ahead of us, along with a toaster. When I get there I will go get my own groceries and keep them safe. This is non negotiable, the tickets have already been bought.

My life is drastically different than anyone elses and it sucks sometimes but I'll make it work.

[kareng]

I was great with Thanksgiving. My husbands grandparents are probably not going to make it to next Christmas...he's deploying for a year. If I need to make a small sacrifice for my husband, since he is going to be getting shot at for a year, I will do it. Being a military wife MEANS sometime taking one for the team and this is one of those times. I am going to ship a box of food ahead of us, along with a toaster. When I get there I will go get my own groceries and keep them safe. This is non negotiable, the tickets have already been bought.

My life is drastically different than anyone elses and it sucks sometimes but I'll make it work.

Just trying to give you a good excuse.

As they get used to you and your odd ways, they won't notice as much. Mine have stopped trying to get me to out to eat all the time.

Do they have gluten-free beer where they live? Your own food, gluten-free beer, might not be too bad.

[K8ling]

Yeah I am going ot get some strongbow. Also I just found out there's a whole foods right nearby so I may not have to ship anything but my toaster. This is a new adventure and while YES I would SOOOO rather have a quiet Christmas at home, this is super important to him. I have to do this. I am a control freak, this is hard for me, and I have no control...but I am letting go. Or trying too (with lots of wine LOL)

[kareng]

Yeah I am going ot get some strongbow. Also I just found out there's a whole foods right nearby so I may not have to ship anything but my toaster. This is a new adventure and while YES I would SOOOO rather have a quiet Christmas at home, this is super important to him. I have to do this. I am a control freak, this is hard for me, and I have no control...but I am letting go. Or trying too (with lots of wine LOL)

Have you seen toaster bags? You can get them on-line or I found the same ones in a specialty kitchen store. Pampered Chef may have them,too. You put your bread safely inside to toast. Made for college students to re-heat pizza or make grilled cheese in the toaster. Make sure you get the big ones, saw some that were only went halfway up.

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