Insensitive People

[jemms]

I had to go to a graduation party yesterday at a restaurant. It was actually stressful and I ended up eating nothing. My sister in law made a comment which I found about later regarding gluten. She said that this is a new fad of mine and new diet that I am going on. It was like she meant I am only going gluten free to see if I can lose weight not because physically and mentally gluten makes me nuts. It is disconcerting to try to explain to people and either have them not care at all or not even believe me. Its like they think I am making my symptoms up or something. Sometimes I dont even want to go out because I cant deal with the negativity. Thanks for listening!

[ravenwoodglass]

I think most of us have had to deal with folks like that at some point or another. It is annoying and hurtful but our best revenge is to get healthy and happy again.

Social occasions that involve food can be really tough. Some of us eat before we go or we bring something with us. If I am at a place where they don't have a gluten free menu I am the eat before I go type and then I just get a drink and sometimes will order a plain salad and either pick at it or just move it around on the plate to avoid the 'how come your not eating questions' and because sometimes it can make others uncomfortable to be eating when someone else isn't.

[sandsurfgirl]

I am so sorry you had to deal with that.

Are you self diagnosed? If you are I recommend that you never tell anyone that. Tell them the blood tests were positive. They will never know the difference. Actually if you change doctors I would tell them the same thing. No new doctor ever asked me to see original bloodwork to diagnose hypothyroidism. I told them I had it and they said "Okay."

If you are not self diagnosed, then you have that as ammunition. People never question me on this because I am matter of fact up front. I tell people it's way worse than an allergy. It's an autoimmune disease that makes my body literally destroy my digestive system. That usually gets wide eyes and "Oh wow, that's scary!" sort of comments.

Once in awhile there is a restaurant where it's nearly impossible to eat, but it doesn't happen that often. I always find out where we are eating and call the manager ahead of time. I may not get to eat what I want, but at least i have food. If you are friendly, not demanding, specific and kind they will bend over backwards for you.

At restaurants I ALWAYS use the word ALLERGY. It means something to them and they understand it. Celiac means nothing to them. I never use that word. I always say "I'm allergic to gluten, which is in wheat, barley and rye." Quite often the manager knows about it because they had to take food safety classes. If it's a place that doesn't have a gluten free menu I say "Can you help me figure out what I can eat?"

I remind them that soy sauce has wheat in it and I ask about marinades. They can always make you a plain piece of grilled meat and a plain salad.

Hopefully you don't have to deal with ignorance again, but if you do, then take it as an opportunity to educate them. I would call the offending person and explain your disease to her, but I'm bold like that. That might not be your style.

[jemms]

I am so sorry you had to deal with that.

Are you self diagnosed? If you are I recommend that you never tell anyone that. Tell them the blood tests were positive. They will never know the difference. Actually if you change doctors I would tell them the same thing. No new doctor ever asked me to see original bloodwork to diagnose hypothyroidism. I told them I had it and they said "Okay."

If you are not self diagnosed, then you have that as ammunition. People never question me on this because I am matter of fact up front. I tell people it's way worse than an allergy. It's an autoimmune disease that makes my body literally destroy my digestive system. That usually gets wide eyes and "Oh wow, that's scary!" sort of comments.

Once in awhile there is a restaurant where it's nearly impossible to eat, but it doesn't happen that often. I always find out where we are eating and call the manager ahead of time. I may not get to eat what I want, but at least i have food. If you are friendly, not demanding, specific and kind they will bend over backwards for you.

At restaurants I ALWAYS use the word ALLERGY. It means something to them and they understand it. Celiac means nothing to them. I never use that word. I always say "I'm allergic to gluten, which is in wheat, barley and rye." Quite often the manager knows about it because they had to take food safety classes. If it's a place that doesn't have a gluten free menu I say "Can you help me figure out what I can eat?"

I remind them that soy sauce has wheat in it and I ask about marinades. They can always make you a plain piece of grilled meat and a plain salad.

Hopefully you don't have to deal with ignorance again, but if you do, then take it as an opportunity to educate them. I would call the offending person and explain your disease to her, but I'm bold like that. That might not be your style.

Thank you!! I had blood tests done but for some people they are so ignorant it just doesnt matter. I will keep in mind to use the term 'allergy'. I agree, I think that resonates with others better. sometimes I just dont want to fight the battle, ya know? Eyes glaze over when I try to explain about Celiacs...haha A

Although the bit about this is something that destroys the digestive system is something I will have to try. !!

[jemms]

ravenwood, I need to get organized and bring food or call ahead. Love your positive attitude!! Getting healthy is THE best revenge!

[IrishHeart]

I had to go to a graduation party yesterday at a restaurant. It was actually stressful and I ended up eating nothing. My sister in law made a comment which I found about later regarding gluten. She said that this is a new fad of mine and new diet that I am going on. It was like she meant I am only going gluten free to see if I can lose weight not because physically and mentally gluten makes me nuts. It is disconcerting to try to explain to people and either have them not care at all or not even believe me. Its like they think I am making my symptoms up or something. Sometimes I dont even want to go out because I cant deal with the negativity. Thanks for listening!

Maybe it is time to educate the family about celiac and put an end to the snarky comments? That way, you never have to be put in defensive mode again. Sometimes, people say things out of pure ignorance. I informed my whole family with some info via email-- and for those without internet, I printed off the info and mailed it. I think that helped them understand what I have been going through. If they still don't get it..ah well!

My cousin suggested "dining out cards" to me--for ordering in restaurants. Maybe you could give them a try? That way, you can be sure that the kitchen staff will take your order seriously and give it care.

here's a link for you!

Open Original Shared Link

Just some thoughts.

[shadowicewolf]

Unfortenently, everyone has an opinion and, alas, they think it is right

Don't let it get to you hun