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How Do I Stop Being So Generous?

Jenniferxgfx

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Jenniferxgfx Contributor
Jenniferxgfx
Posted

I come from a long line of healthy Jewish eaters, and it feels positively subconscious to offer everyone around me some of my food, no matter what it is. Typically I make/buy enough for everyone (me plus 2 more adults), but now that I'm the only gluten-free one in the house, it breaks my heart every time I offer up one of my precious expensive gluten-free Oreo-style cookies, and they accept, knowing full well there's a half dozen packages of gluten-containing Newman-o's in the house (I buy them on sale and my husband's addicted).

Most everything in the house is gluten-free, but there's a few exceptions, like these cookies, which I got as a treat for myself. I have one or two before bed.

I feel awful not sharing and I always break down and offer around whatever I'm eating eventually. I've thought of offering to get them their own cookies but touching gluten requires gloves, so I'd really rather they just got their own cookies.

How do I learn to stop being so darn nice? :(

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Takala Enthusiast
Takala
Posted

Well.... this is sort of a typical mental reaction at first, but, if you keep it up, they should catch on eventually, and start bringing you gluten free chocolate sandwich cookies.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

How about keeping the gluten cookies in the package then sliding it into a plastic baggie. When you want one of your cookies first get the package and put it out for your company, then wash your hands and enjoy your gluten free treat.

sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

Assuming you have time, why don't you just start baking your own cookies and other treats and then you won't mind sharing? It's not only a whole lot cheaper but homemade tastes better than any store-bought gluten-free cookies I've ever tasted.

love2travel Mentor
love2travel
Posted

Assuming you have time, why don't you just start baking your own cookies and other treats and then you won't mind sharing? It's not only a whole lot cheaper but homemade tastes better than any store-bought gluten-free cookies I've ever tasted.

Sylvia is SO RIGHT! There are thousands of great gluten-free cookie/other baking recipe options out there. No restrictions to just a few kinds of purchased ones! Homemade is always better than processed. :P Good luck!

Jenniferxgfx Contributor
Jenniferxgfx
Posted
  • Author

Thanks everyone, so much.

I actually have been baking a bit. I've been too sick to spend much time in the kitchen, but it's been SO NICE to get some energy back!! I really love fresh gluten-free baked goods! Its nice to be back in the kitchen! I bake when I can, but those chocolate sandwich cookies have been a guilty pleasure in my house for years. There's a definite preference for packaged over homemade food, too, not just with the cookies, but my emergency Lara bars and all kinds of stuff I buy to last me a month if they eat the gluten-containing food, they're gone in a week. (it's not just me offering doing it. Lara bars have become a popular snack around here, as have gluten-free crackers, Almond milk bonbons, etc.)

I kind of hope it means they'll realize how great they feel eating gluten-free food and we can have a gluten-free house, but I don't know if I'll get that lucky :) I think it's more likely they'll enjoy eating gluten-free food and then enjoy eating gluten food afterwards, since that's what's currently going on.

If one of them had to go gluten free, I would be a lot more accommodating than they are being. Maybe it's because I've got some experience with cross contamination and special diets (I'm a scientist who was an assistant dietitian in a hospital before I went into science), but I've held back a few tantrums because it's NOT THAT HARD to try not to kill me. I'm frustrated. :/

Thanks for letting me vent.

Bubba's Mom Enthusiast
Bubba's Mom
Posted

I'm kind of torn about this issue too. I get things that are gluten-free for myself, and treats my hubby and son like that aren't. Hubby won't bat an eyelash at eating up my snacks..and then going for stuff with gluten too.

On the one hand..I'd like him to learn that Gluten-Free is ok. Then maybe I could switch to a Gluten-Free household? On the other hand..he's gobbling up very pricey foods!

For now..I have a section of the kitchen counter with Gluten-Free foods, kept seperate from their stuff. I'm wondering if it looks too "available" sitting right there? Maybe we should keep things hidden or set aside out of view? I don't offer the Gluten-Free things to him..he just takes them. :(

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Jenniferxgfx Contributor
Jenniferxgfx
Posted
  • Author

Oh I totally support hiding treats! If I didn't hide the chocolate chips, there'd never be any for when I make cookies!! I feel really bad about hiding stuff but I feel even worse when I have nothing to eat and everyone else has a variety of treats. :/

But yes, anything out in plain view is fair game and too difficult for the average person to resist, I'm convinced.

Marilyn R Community Regular
Marilyn R
Posted

I don't feel guilty about stashing my safe food, or even marking it off limits with a red or purple marker. I used to, but then I found that I felt even guiltier for having to call in sick yet again, then feeling awful and being snarly for 4 or 5 days.

I explained it to my sig other and relatives. They get it. It's not that I'm being ungracious, I just want to survive and live as normally as possible.

Our safe food is precious. What I don't understand is why they don't feel guilty for eating your limited rations?

I wondered if the adults you are living with are handicapped. If so, I can see why it would be easier for you to offer your cookies as opposed to getting up and serving them. If they are in good health, and you want to offer them cookies ask if they'd like some cookies, and if they do, tell them where the Newmans are and that you left a napkin on the kitchen counter for them. They might be surprised the first time or two, but all of a sudden they'll learn, and when you appear with your cookies, they'll go get their own when they want to join the cookie fest.

I swear I'm going to start making my own Lara Bars, but if someody who wasn't gluten-free ate my Lara Bars, I'd just have to have a hissy fit. That wouldn't be very gracious, but I'm pretty sure it would be memorable. :D

Bubba's Mom Enthusiast
Bubba's Mom
Posted

I don't feel guilty about stashing my safe food, or even marking it off limits with a red or purple marker.

Our safe food is precious. What I don't understand is why they don't feel guilty for eating your limited rations?

If they are in good health, and you want to offer them cookies ask if they'd like some cookies, and if they do, tell them where the Newmans are and that you left a napkin on the kitchen counter for them. They might be surprised the first time or two, but all of a sudden they'll learn, and when you appear with your cookies, they'll go get their own when they want to join the cookie fest.

I swear I'm going to start making my own Lara Bars, but if someody who wasn't gluten-free ate my Lara Bars, I'd just have to have a hissy fit. That wouldn't be very gracious, but I'm pretty sure it would be memorable. :D

I think it's weird that my hubby will eat the things I've set aside. I surely wouldn't do that to someone with a limited food supply while I was surrounded with other options! Maybe it's laziness..or curiosity? :blink: But..he's heard me complain about the prices of some of the items, so you'd think he might leave them alone!

I like the response about the cookies too! ;)

sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

Heck, I'd hide the gluten-free goodies and not feel guilty!!! Of course, first I'd try to get the whole house switched to gluten-free foods just to do everything possible to eliminate CC. If anyone wanted gluten, they could have all they want when they went out. But then I'm old and crabby. :lol:

Jenniferxgfx Contributor
Jenniferxgfx
Posted
  • Author

I'd like to learn to be productively crabby ;)

Yes, my family memers do have disabilities, and I'm just generally a nice girl and offer up something if I'm getting myself something. They'll typically do the same when they're up.

There's so much etiquette and socializing around food, that's really the tough part for me- learning how to balance manners with self-care.

okieinalaska Apprentice
okieinalaska
Posted

My kids like to try my gluten free cookies and waffles. Mostly I say no and don't feel to bad about although I do share sometimes. Most of the time they think it tastes strange and don't like it anyway but sometimes they really like it. I just started baking my own items from stratch and don't mind sharing those, so far they are even better than store bought.

Has anyone tried to make their own lara bars btw? Would love to try that although I can get them at the commissary on base for only .88 cents each. I usually buy an entire box but they don't carry every flavor.

Brooksbelle Newbie
Brooksbelle
Posted

Has anyone tried to make their own lara bars btw? Would love to try that although I can get them at the commissary on base for only .88 cents each. I usually buy an entire box but they don't carry every flavor.

YES!! found a great recipe and it's infinitely modifiable. Lemme see if I can rustle it up, I remember putting it someplace "safe."

Brooksbelle Newbie
Brooksbelle
Posted

Found it!! (The LaraBar recipe) Open Original Shared Link

Tried 2 other recipe versions and found I like this one best. I added some semisweet chocolate chips (slightly melted in the microwave first) and some unsweetened coconut flakes. Yummy!

Oh and be sure you use whole dates in your food processor. The prechopped ones aren't necessarily gluten-free and besides, they're too dry to whiz up sticky enough for the bar to hold together. I wrap each bar in wax paper--cause I like old fashioned stuff and then put them inside a zip loc bag and keep in my fridge. Yummy!

Next I'm going to try the gingerbread variation. =)

wheeleezdryver Community Regular
wheeleezdryver
Posted

with what I say, keep in mind i don't have a majorly noticable reaction to gluten.

My husband has disabilities, and I too, will offer to get him something if I'm up. 99% of the time, whatever I offer to get him isn't gluten- free... when I have offered him something that's specifically gluten- free for me, he won't take it, because he knows it's expensive and it's FOR ME. The only exception to that being 'name brand' stuff that's gluten- free (and less expenisve than the specialty gluten free stuff), like the gluten- free chex, Lay's potato chips, Dinty Moore Beef Stew, popcorn, or some of our favorite candy bars... those, we both share (of course he usually doesn't eat anything gluteny right before most of these things, since they are mostly snacks, or meals in and of themselves).

I DO have to prepare meals for him, including his Homestyle Direct meals (kind of like Meals On Wheels), not very many of those are gluten- free :(.

I wash my hands often.

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