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Emotional Scars From Celiac

sandsurfgirl

By sandsurfgirl
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Di2011 Enthusiast
Di2011
Posted

I feel horrible for the years I feel I lost with my kids, how the brain fog, sickness and just simply a lack of memory has stole precious time and memories from our early years together. My Doctor feels that my first pregnancy 9 years ago triggered my symptoms of the disesase. I don't miss my gallbladder, my ambition or the respect from coworkers and employers, I do miss my kids knowing me as a happy and productive mother.

This have completely changed my personality. I blamed myself for just being lazy when I had zero energy or ambition. I forced myself to do every single thing with my kids, especially in the last year or two, because I knew they needed a mother. I went from a caring and patient mom to a short tempered and angry person, even towards my family. They really only remember me as a sick person and it just completely breaks my heart.

Gluten-Free:

*I get up from bed in the morning and don't instantly cranky at my son for no particularly important reason

*I want to get out of bed in the morning and help my son get to school.

*Liam (with encouragement not argument) brushes his teeth.

* Today (and I mean today) was the first argument/anxiety fuelled free homework session ever.

* Liam had his first mosquito bites that can't be blamed on something else (((I suspect.. know... they are DH)). On his belly ((he never ever goes shirtless)

It is an adventure (all the good, bad and ugly) but so much better gluten-free when I can see, judge and have energy to deal with the business of life

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sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted
  • Author

This is my first post, one month ago I received my Celiac diagnosis. The damage was bad enough my doctor told me not to expect to notice many results from my gluten free diet for 9 months. I feel horrible for the years I feel I lost with my kids, how the brain fog, sickness and just simply a lack of memory has stole precious time and memories from our early years together. My Doctor feels that my first pregnancy 9 years ago triggered my symptoms of the disesase. I don't miss my gallbladder, my ambition or the respect from coworkers and employers, I do miss my kids knowing me as a happy and productive mother.

This have completely changed my personality. I blamed myself for just being lazy when I had zero energy or ambition. I forced myself to do every single thing with my kids, especially in the last year or two, because I knew they needed a mother. I went from a caring and patient mom to a short tempered and angry person, even towards my family. They really only remember me as a sick person and it just completely breaks my heart.

I look forward to the day when I become a healthy person. As much support as I have for my health, this is the part that people don't understand and it seems to be the most debilitating part.

One month isn't much time. I was 6 months before I started feeling really good. My whole personality changed for the better! I visited a friend I hadn't seen in a long time when I was about 7 months gluten free. She even commented at how mellow I was and how different I had become. I hardly ever lose my temper at my kids now. I'm so much more calm and relaxed.

Actually I didn't realize I had those emotional scars until this new sickness cropped up for me and I was back there all over again. But I'm improving with this one now and my brain is clearing.

You will get better and be the mommy you want to be!

Make sure they are keeping close tabs on your vitamins and minerals. I let that slide and didn't bug my doc about it. I found out in the hospital my vitamin D is very low and so is my iron. Been living with fatigue for awhile that I really didn't need to deal with if I had been checked.

Carson Newbie
Carson
Posted

One month isn't much time. I was 6 months before I started feeling really good. My whole personality changed for the better! I visited a friend I hadn't seen in a long time when I was about 7 months gluten free. She even commented at how mellow I was and how different I had become. I hardly ever lose my temper at my kids now. I'm so much more calm and relaxed.

Actually I didn't realize I had those emotional scars until this new sickness cropped up for me and I was back there all over again. But I'm improving with this one now and my brain is clearing.

You will get better and be the mommy you want to be!

Make sure they are keeping close tabs on your vitamins and minerals. I let that slide and didn't bug my doc about it. I found out in the hospital my vitamin D is very low and so is my iron. Been living with fatigue for awhile that I really didn't need to deal with if I had been checked.

Yes thank you, I can wait to feel like a normal functioning person and mommy again! I know 1 month isn't much time and didn't expect a complete life make over in that time. I guess I'm just now starting into the emotional side of this diagnosis. I was at first all ready for this (year of sickness makes you ready for any kind of change!) but now am feeling some ups and downs these last few days. I know it will be fine and will get better, I am actually a very positive person. It was my iron and B12 deficiencies that prompted my new family doctor to test for celiac, that was my saving grace, changing doctors (both family and surgeon) after 9 years with the same ones! I have a excellent internalist that is testing all vitamins every couple months to make sure my levels finally start to rise, before I was gluten free nothing they did helped which made them realize it was something like celiac.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted
  • Author

Yes thank you, I can wait to feel like a normal functioning person and mommy again! I know 1 month isn't much time and didn't expect a complete life make over in that time. I guess I'm just now starting into the emotional side of this diagnosis. I was at first all ready for this (year of sickness makes you ready for any kind of change!) but now am feeling some ups and downs these last few days. I know it will be fine and will get better, I am actually a very positive person. It was my iron and B12 deficiencies that prompted my new family doctor to test for celiac, that was my saving grace, changing doctors (both family and surgeon) after 9 years with the same ones! I have a excellent internalist that is testing all vitamins every couple months to make sure my levels finally start to rise, before I was gluten free nothing they did helped which made them realize it was something like celiac.

You are on the right path and your doc knows what to do. I know it is so hard to be patient during the healing phase. And now I'm healing from yet another illness. But you will get better! My doc didn't know to watch for my vitamins, etc. and now I'm low on D and low on iron and probably have been for a long time. So frustrating. Now I have a good GI who is keeping an eye on things.

beebs Enthusiast
beebs
Posted

Not so much emotional scars- but I am angry that there is a big possibility that all the other autoimmune stuff I have going on which showed up in the last few years are as a result of eating gluten when I shouldn't have been. I sometimes think it isn't fair - and if I had only known, if someone had tried to find out what was wrong with me (drs) then I wouldn't have all these other scary things happening.

NateJ Contributor
NateJ
Posted

There needs to be more support groups or something for this. Something more local that everyone could meetup.

I saw someone in the store the other day with gluten-free items and thought about striking up a conversation with him, but didn't.

My wife and I split in May after 15 years of marriage. I could tell she was just exhausted from my sickness and other issues. She never complained about it, but she didn't have to.

Its sort of ironic but now that I feel better somewhat I don't have anyone to spend time with.

My friends try to be supportive but I find myself isolated more often that not because of my dietary restrictions and not being a couple anymore.

I figured its probably for the best, not putting myself into situation i could get sick more easily. It doesn't make being alone any easier, but I figure I'm not the only one and maybe someday I'll meet someone with a similar history.

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