Tired Of How People Look At Me

[kaity]

my son has been so skinny almost his whole life, he was very healthy till i introduced solids, and he is my first son, he was 23 pounds when he was nine months i was only breastfeedinf him, he never drank milk, that is when i started introducing solids, and he didnt gain not even one pound for about two years. when people see him they would tell me why dont you feed him, or you dont know how to raise kids.... i am so tired of those comments, one of my friends told me let him stay with me for a weak and i will make him gain 10 pounds...

i am so tired of these comments, i feed my son more than any one i know, sometimes i cook him two or three different foods just so he eats more, i only give him chips or chocolate as a prize for him finishing all his plate, or as a prize for eating his plate of fruit. when people know that i only give himm junk food in small amounts they start telling me that it is wrong, they start telling e how do you expect him to gain weight if he doesnt eat candy and stuff like that..

i give my son a box of juice only when we go somewhere so he can put it in his backpack incase he gets thirsty, but when he is home i always do fresh juice for him... i know that he is skinny but it isnt my fault, i am doing everything i can for him to gain weight.

i have a 16 month old son that weighs more than his brother now, even though there is 21 months difference between them, so i know that it isnt something that i am doing....

sorry for writing so much but i am so dipressed witht he people around me

[maximoo]

what does his pediatrician say? Does your son have a distended belly? Demand your son be tested for celiac, and brainstorm with Dr. why your son is so skinny. In any event if your pediatrician isn't looking for a cause then chg Drs.Good Luck!

[Lisa]

Only recently did I realize that some children can have intestines that are not where they should be. There is a medical term for this, but I don't recall it. It's something that you can be born with, indicating low body weight.

If your son does not eat well, it might be painful for him. I will look in to the official name.

And, never mind others.

Here is the information that my daughter's niece was diagnosed with, with successful surgery, recently.

Intestinal malrotation/volvulus

Intestinal malrotation is a birth defect involving a malformation of the intestinal tract. It occurs while a fetus is forming in its mothers' uterus. A child with malrotation is likely to experience a twisting of the intestine known as a volvulus.

This will cause an obstruction, preventing food from being digested normally. The blood supply to the twisted part of the intestine can also be cut off, which can lead to the death of that segment of the intestine. Learn more about intestinal malrotation/volvulus here.

I certainly do not want to alarm you. But this might be something you might want to discount. Check with your doctor.

[kaity]

he is celiac, but no one wants to get convinced, when i tell them that he cant eat wheat because it hurts him they start saying OH NO WONDER WHY HE IS SO SKINNY, HE ISNT GETTING ENOUGH VITAMINES.... I took him off wheat for a while but then put him back on after my dietitian told me to so i can do him some more tests....

I judge people from the way people children look, but never by their weight, for examply if a child is dirty and wearing dirty clothes i would judge the parents but not by their weight, my sons are always wearing the best clothes and are always the cleanest children too, and the most polite ones, and they judge me by his weight???

NO ONE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND...did this everry happen to you?? where people judging you for being a bad mom just becasue your celiac chid was over weight or under weight???

[merjill]

My daughter was born with clubfeet. She had to wear two long leg casts - from her toes to her thighs, off an on from the time she was an infant until 5 years old. I didn't like the way people looked at me either. One person asked "So, how did you break both her legs?" I printed up a page "my daughter's story" explained that she was born with clubfeet, explained the treatment, etc. I kept a few in the diaper bag, so when people were looking at me, I could just hand them one. It's easier than explaining it to every one. You could write a one-page fact sheet about celiac disease, and explain why your child can't eat wheat. And give it to people so they don't think your kid is starving.

[nocornhouse]

my very skinny son did not gain weight when we were gluten free for a year and half...but once I also eliminated high oxalate foods he has been gaining weight, and height like crazy. Oxalates are plant chemicals in things like buckwheat, spinach, rhubbarb, qunioa...that can get through a leaky gut (for us caused by celiac) and wreak havok in the body. I don't know WHY this was the key to my son really improving, but, it was. www.lowoxalate.info is one site with more info if you are interested.

[Skylark]

he is celiac, but no one wants to get convinced, when i tell them that he cant eat wheat because it hurts him they start saying OH NO WONDER WHY HE IS SO SKINNY, HE ISNT GETTING ENOUGH VITAMINES.... I took him off wheat for a while but then put him back on after my dietitian told me to so i can do him some more tests....

Wait a second. If he has a firm celiac diagnosis he must be off not only wheat but all forms of gluten for life. He will not gain weight eating wheat. Exactly what tests does your dietician want to do? Does your pediatrician know about this? How overwhelmingly necessary are they that she has instructed you to poison your child???

[mamaupupup]

Hi Kaity,

Our pediatrician grilled me at my twin girls' 2 yr old checkup for being little (both in height and weight). I felt very attacked. I said, "You are welcome to come live with us for a week to see what we eat." He clearly didn't take me up on my offer. I was mad/angry/hurt/offended...and more.

Fast forward to their 5 year old checkup: each girl weighs 32 lbs. Yep 32 lbs at 5! I asked repeatedly about Celiac from 3.5 to 5 yrs and that pediatrician never tested ("gluten-free is a fad"). He is one of the most respected (and clearly Celiac-ignorant) pediatricians in our town. I finally got an allergist who I did swim team with when I was a teenager to write the orders for Celiac bloodwork...that started the ball rolling and we have two Celiac girls.

You are not alone. Feed your child in the way you feel is most healthy for him in a way that respects his symptoms and which is in line with the demands of the disease (totally gluten free). It may take a while, but you are a great Mom and you will find what is right for your little boy. Hang in there!

[Juliebove]

Sadly people will judge. My daughter was underweight for her first year and then suddenly she was overweight. Her Dr. had her on a really strict diet. No junk. Whole foods. One serving of juice per day. People said I was being mean to her and said children should be allowed to eat what they want. They would sneak food to her.

At age 6 we learned of her food allergies. Then she began to lose some weight.

Sadly that didn't last for very long. Now at 13 she is overweight again but has a thyroid problem and pre-diabetes.

People seem to judge less with an overweight kid than an underweight one. I was the underweight one. People would say the most cruel things about me and I could hear them. It made me cry.

Just make sure you are feeding him the best, most vitamin packed foods you can. If you are worried about any vitamins he may be missing from not eating wheat there are plenty of supplements out there. Also realize that there is gluten in other foods as well. Not just wheat.

[ravenwoodglass]

Wait a second. If he has a firm celiac diagnosis he must be off not only wheat but all forms of gluten for life. He will not gain weight eating wheat. Exactly what tests does your dietician want to do? Does your pediatrician know about this? How overwhelmingly necessary are they that she has instructed you to poison your child???

Other forms of gluten are barley, rye and oats. Barley Malt is a problem with almost all cereals. If he is diagnosed celiac already he doesn't need to go back on gluten if the doctors suspect something else is happening. If they are saying to go back on gluten because he had positive blood work but didn't have an endo please know that positive blood tests are positive especially with a young child. Endos have a high false negative rate and personally I wouldn't put my child through one if they already had positive tests.

[mamaupupup]

Also, I just want to add that the greatest nourishment on the planet is a mother's unconditional love. We were recently at Children's Hospital in LA and saw so many children with so many different conditions. The greatest sight of all for me was to see how much love surrounded all these precious little ones. Every child was shown kindness and love--I just about bawled just watching all these mother's and their endless love!

xoxox

You are being an amazing mom!

[krysty]

great discussion.