What Do You Do At A Wedding?

[IrishHeart]

. I live on Long Island and try to get food in NYC and it is so awful. You would think NYC would have truly gluten-free food, but it seems only one restaurant is truly safe for me--Risotteria. If you get a chance to go, go. It is delicious. Try their red velvet cupcakes. Oh, so good. I suppose it all depends how sensitive each person is. I'm sadly becoming so sensitive and it's so frustrating, but I know I'll find solutions.

 

Well, I'm a pretty sensitive celiac myself and I have had good luck dining out at places recommended by fellow celiacs.

 

It could also be that you have other food sensitivities? (just saying) I kept wondering what the heck was getting me for a long time (knowing full well I was as gluten-free as humanly possible, not eating out at the time and living in a home where no one eats gluten) and found out I have an intolerance to aged cheeses, tomatoes, eggs among others.

 

We automatically assume it's gluten, when it could very well be something else giving us symptoms that are very similar.

 

Here's a list I compiled from recommendations by other celiacs. 

(1)  Find Me Gluten Free 

Open Original Shared Link

(2)  My friend Emily ( a gluten-free blogger)  recommends Bistango's In NYC

(3)  The hubs and  I had a great meal at Craft Bar (very expensive) It was for our anniversary.

(4) these NYC restaurants were recommended  by a native New Yorker .  The descriptions are all his words. Hope this helps!.

Tulu’s Bakery on 11th St and 1st Ave. Best gluten-free cupcakes anywhere.

Pala Pizza off Houston downtown. By far the best gluten-free pizza in the world and I do mean world. People travel internationally to get it. Puts all other Pizza to shame. Roman style, not American style.

Chinese: Lilli and Loo 61st and Lex. Chic modern chinese in midtown with extensive gluten-free menu. You can get fried general tso just like you used to have. Had lunch here last week. It’s awesome.

Regular pizza: Mozzarelli’s on 23rd and Madison. They sell 6 different kinds of gluten-free by the slice which is highly unusual. Even one dairy free too. It’s much busier during the weekday, that’s when I would go, many more options than a weekend. They have lots of desserts too.

Fancy Italian: Bistango on 29th and 3rd. Very popular with the gluten-free crowd, great menu and great food. My wife and I go here often.

Lunch place: Friedman’s lunch in Chelsea Market. Very first restaurant I went to after going gluten-free. Nice owners.

Risoterria: Famous as being the first gluten-free place in NYC. Those breadsticks are amazing. Word of warning: it’s very small. Don’t go at a busy time or you’ll be waiting a long time.

S’Mac: A mac and cheese place that has gluten-free pasta and gluten-free corn flake topping. Create your own mac, trendy, counter service kind of place. Around the corner from Tulu’s on 12th st.Open Original Shared Link

A recent find: Open Original Shared Link a Israeli food truck that sells gluten-free felafel and other really yummy middle eastern food. You have to check their website / twitter to see where they are each day.

Glaze Teriyaki Grill, multiple locations. Cheap (for NYC) lunch take out.

Nizza on 9th Ave.

Vic’s bagel bar on 3rd ave. gluten-free bagels with make your own filling.

Places I’d skip:

Babycakes: I thought the cupcakes were horrible. 

Any chain restaurant!

[JNBunnie1]

I recently attended a wedding as someone's +1, not knowing anyone there. Instead of

trying to fuss with the caterers or anything, I just made turkey burger patties (because

they're delicious cold) and a salad in a bag, snuck out to my car at the right time, and

asked for a clean plate. Only the woman sitting next to me even noticed, noone else at

the table had a clue. Whipped the food out of the bags onto the plate in about 14 seconds

and acted like nothing was weird! I would personally recommend this tactic for 'stranger'

weddings.

 

I did go to the wedding of very close friends a few years ago, and long before the wedding

they told their caterer I'd be contacting them, and gave me the caterer's info, having let

them know ahead of time to just do whatever I told them. So in that case, the bride &

groom handled it before it could even become a problem. I told them who I was when I sat

down, and my food was brought out to me still covered, having been prepared separately!

 

So I guess it can go either way, depending on what kind of wedding you're attending and

what kind of people are involved. As with anything, you'll develop your own strategies for

dealing with things like this going forward.

[Brandiwine]

I totally agree Gemini! I'm not the kind of Celiac to try to blend in. I find it offensive as well, but the culprits to me are the caterers and restaurants. They should be able to cater to Celiacs in our age. Really, we can send a man to the moon and have iphones and ipads, but not cater to Celiacs? In fact, I plan to tell everyone at both weddings that I'm not eating and if they don't notice I will tell them and I will highlight that no one caters to Celiacs. I want to be visible and I'm very angry that I can't eat a safe meal when yes, we are giving a gift like everyone else and covering costs of travel.

Being a bride in August though, I know how hard and stressful it is to pull together a wedding and I won't bother the bride or groom about this. I know many people don't know about Celiac disease, but the restaurants need to be held accountable. I have been to so many restaurants that say they are gluten-free only to suffer dearly days later. I really wish I could sue or there could be a law passed to cater to Celiacs. I mean if you're traveling, sometimes it is a choice of starving or being extremely sick, that is immoral in a society that has plenty. I feel so so bad for diabetic Celiacs. That must be harder still because their blood sugar has to be maintained.

So yes, I think it's immoral and disgusting to feel like I'm abnormal because I'm not eating and feel like an outcast because I have an illness. That is so wrong. But on the bright side I call so many companies all the time about this and if I have to attend a restaurant with friends I go to the manager and tell them I'm not eating there because they can't properly accommodate Celiacs--all this to get them going and thinking that something has to change and eventually it will. I think we all need to speak up more until something is done. :-D

You might try speaking to the bride/groom before hand not with demands to stress them but just to inquire and so that they are aware and have an opportunity to accommodate. I didn't find out I had celiac disease until after I was married (and divorced but that's another story) and I would have felt horrible to know that someone I cared enough about to have attend what's supposed to be the biggest day of my life isn't able to eat. I would have made sure to have something available. It's not a lot of work for them just a phone call or two, I understand you don't wanna cause more stress that is very considerate of you, but they maybe very understanding.

[julissa]

speaking to them is a crapshoot, it may or may not get done, and you may or may not be able to eat. better to go prepared and not hungry. I went to an out of town wedding and was assured they would provide meals for me for both the rehearsal dinner and wedding. I saw my cousin an hour or so before the rehearsal dinner, and when I thanked her for arranging for meals for me, she had a blank stare. so I pulled up Find Me Gluten free for the area and scrambled to get some food. did the same thing before the wedding.

 

I think you have to be prepared to take care of yourself even if you are promised a compliant meal.

[alesusy]

It's really a matter of being flexible, isn't it? I have some basic answers but they change with the situations. Sometimes it's OK to bring along your own food, sometimes it's OK to eat beforehand, sometimes it's better to deal with the caterers. If I do that, I will always speak personally at the very least to the waiters and more often to the owner or to the person preparing the food. This is true of any function (parties, weddings, christenings etc) and also simply when I am dining out. I have managed to persuade several people to prepare safe food and generally people are very cooperative even if they do not know what Coeliac is. Alas, I confine myself to simple options. Jap food with no soy sauce or no marinated  rice, just fish and plain rice (ugh) unless I have brought along my own Tamari sauce. Boiled fish, grilled meat or chicken with roast potatoes (after having discussed the potatoes). One Chinese restaurant in London had never heard of Coeliac before but the owner ended up fixing a soup with eggs and tofu and then giving me rice with sautée vegetables because he declared (rightly) that I couldn't trust meat or fish because they had been marinated. At a catered party in a restaurant the chefs prepared a chicken salad for me on the spot and it was much more appetizing than the buffet food (people kept asking "oh, where did you get that?")

 

I travel a lot. I did get glutened - once in a supposedly gluten-free, lactose-free, soy-free restaurant (go figure!). I am lactose intolerant and I suspect I have other intolerances and try to limit my nut, coffee, soy, chocolate intake. I have resorted to eating apples and roast chicken in the street before going to a restaurant. But frankly my biggest problem until now have not been the restaurants themselves but my own friends. They're very cooperative the first two or three days, then they start forgetting, as in "that place looks really nice" ("yes, but I can't have panini, you know") - "we might try that Italian restaurant" - "why don't we just have dinner here - ah right, you can't, I forgot" - "I'm sure they can find something for you too", etc, you know it.

 

That is very frustrating because I won't see the restaurant owners again but I don't want to discuss with my friends about their dinner priorities; because I hate being made to feel "sick"; and because it exposes a depth of unsensitivity which can really hurt. In my 5 months gluten-free I have had many friends inviting me for dinner or lunch and cooking special stuff; but they have also started saying "well, and this is really a nuisance for you, isn't it? It must ruin your life". I answer, truthfully, that it doesn't, that I eat plenty and well, and that not feeling sick would be worth it anyway. But the comment do hurt....

[gatita]

Man, I SO wish I'd seen this thread before my friend's wedding last year. And yes, it was in LA!! (Yep, that whole trip, we had a heck of a time finding gluten-free restaurants)

 

I was the wedding MC, and it was an all-day affair. I asked ahead of time and was assured there would be gluten-free food. Alas, only the drinks were safe. Not good! I actually was about to eat a flour tortilla that looked like corn and a very caring woman I'd been chatting with (she had other food sensitivities) stopped me before I put it in my mouth. Thank goodness.

 

If I'da read this thread, I would have definitely brought my own cooler. The one KIND bar in my purse didn't get me through.

 

I did at least dance the night away... and lesson learned!!!

[LadyK]

Great advice! I'm going to a wedding in June, too, so I could also benefit from this topic.

[IrishHeart]

SINCE I POSTED EARLIER IN THIS THREAD ABOUT AN UPCOMING WEDDING, I THOUGHT I SHOULD UPDATE YOU ALL.

 

Had a fabulous time at my cousin's daughter's  wedding. Legs still work after dancing my face off for hours. whoohoo!

 

My cousin made sure we GeeFReers had apps (shrimp cocktail, crudities, cheese platter) but I just had a cocktail (i had Crunchmaster crackers in my handbag, too..

 

As the elderly G F lady I shared a  G F cookie with later (I brought them with me )

said to me,,,,this ain't the old days. They know what to do for "us" now.  (well, they do if you ask enough questions....)    I avoided a collision with a tainted scallop (looked harmless enough)  by asking one more time....are you sure about these, sweets??  I waited patiently while she checked in the kitchen....poor kid nearly slapped it out of my hand. But you know old IH ain't puttin nuttin on her mouth without being extra super  duper sure.

 

 

 

So cool to see my fun cousins I had not seen in 5 years. As some of them dryly noted--they were glad to see

I was not dead.    ....sarcasm runs in the family, as you can tell...

 

 

Special soup for us Gee Freers in the group was a yummy roasted garlic, chickpea and veggies ("the others" had a not-so-great clam chowdah, they told me)

Dinner was salad, no croutons--( and I love you, cousin JoAnn for telling them not to bother with those useless things!)

A filet mignon done to perfection (no gravy for us, thank you again, catering company!!)

Roasted potatoes and summer squashes.

They all had cake and ice cream, but I brought the GFers giant homemade cookies. ("the others" wanted to know... hey.... Where did THOSE come from?? sorry, dude...just eat yer cake!) the planned  G F  cupcakes would not work out--too messy to transport. It all worked out fine!!

 

Got back to the hotel at 1:30 AM.

 

Life is good.  

 

NO NEED TO FEAR WEDDINGS. CALL THE BRIDE, CALL THE CATERER. THEY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE gluten-free THESE DAYS.

 

No problems 2 days later...whoohoo!. 

[Gemini]

I love postings that radiate gluten free confidence!  Irish is correct....this is 2013 and for the most part, caterers and food service people know how to handle gluten free requests. Yes, you have to ask questions to make sure they do everything right but get used to that and you'll do fine.  I routinely go away now and eat safely and come back just fine but I have been doing this for awhile so have healed well and know the diet.  If I can do this, anyone can! 

 

Glad you had such a good time, Irish! 

[LizMaude]

Reply that you are coming but I don't think you need to announce that you won't be eating.  Just eat before and bring a snack bar in your purse.  

[julissa]

I agree to call the bride, caterer, etc,  but always go prepared and never go hungry. I told everyone and was assured a meal, but they forgot. as I said earlier in this thread,  my cousin who assured me forgot. so I scrambled to eat first and all was well.

[cap6]

I recently attended a wedding as someone's +1, not knowing anyone there. Instead of

trying to fuss with the caterers or anything, I just made turkey burger patties (because

they're delicious cold) and a salad in a bag, snuck out to my car at the right time, and

asked for a clean plate. Only the woman sitting next to me even noticed, noone else at

the table had a clue. Whipped the food out of the bags onto the plate in about 14 seconds

and acted like nothing was weird! I would personally recommend this tactic for 'stranger'

weddings.

 

 

This is usually my approach as well.  It is wonderful if they can accommodate me but in large events like that I just wouldn't feel comfortable.  I call it picking my battles.  It's just far easier and safer to pop out your own stuff and save the battle for something else.  I have a food issue and don't feel that others have to bend to my way.