Unable To Cry

[1desperateladysaved]

Having gone through decades of celiac, realizing the problem and than trying to adjust to gluten free life, I have had plenty of reasons to cry.  BUT I CAN'T.

[mommy2krj]

You can't because you're physically unable to? Or because it just won't happen?

 

If it's the former....there is at least one medical condition that I've heard of but can't tell you off the top of my head so I would put a call (yes, I know, ANOTHER call to the doctor) in to your regular doc and explain that to them.

 

If it's the latter....well.....I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe you're simply not ready for that yet? Or, maybe some part of your brain is just relieved and doesn't feel the need to cry any longer? The brain is a funny, funny thing.

Hugs. I think I've cried enough for a couple people and I am new to this journey and am not even the one fully making it. Of course, that is probably why I've cried so much. I find it easier to cry for or about or whatever for my kids, than I do for things for myself.

[AlwaysLearning]

I know I will sometimes put off "dealing" with emotions soon after the event that triggers them, but am hit by them later, when I've gotten a little distance and they aren't so overwhelming. It is a defense mechanism  and personally, I think an extremely effective one. Much better than what I've seen others do when faced with adversity such as not eating, becoming alcoholics, or turning to drugs. The old adage about time healing all wounds (though they may still leave a scar) seems to hold true, at least in my experience.

Or it could be that you're just in a neutral zone right now, having some difficulties switching things around as you give up some things that you had taken for granted, but also knowing that your diagnosis is a REALLY good thing. Balanced.

But I do hope that you never need to cry because you start to  feel more optimistic. I can't tell you how excited I was to finally figure out my mystery. And having all sorts of odd maladies suddenly disappear or start to improve is a huge success. 

 

[1desperateladysaved]

I recall standing in the parking lot of a hospital years ago.  I was pregnant and dehydrated.  I was 1000 miles from family and friends.  Except my young husband  that was undergoing intensive training for his new job.  I cried out and made noise, but that time, no tears would come.  I walked into the hospital sullen and quiet.  I found out since that no tears will come when one is dehydrated.  Anyway, I get a similar feeling now when I feel like crying.  Like my eyes fill, but that is all.  Perhaps there is no energy to cry.
 

 

Once I had a friend crying on my shoulder as she was leaving.  I patted her on the back, felt like crying, but no.    Sometimes it would get my points across much better than a million words. Imagine breaking into noisy tears when someone told you are obsessed with diet.   They actually might realize how much it hurt!

 

I think it is physical.  The reason being that the doctor told me that I am having trouble to get the nutrients I need for lack of cortisol from the adrenal glands.  Without cortisol, one can't handle stress. Anyway, so I think we are already working on it.

 

Do I need drugs?  I think not.  Firstly drugs give me terrible side effects.  Second off I actually have real struggles, real reasons to be sad.  Drugs are not for going through a hard time.  This simply needs more time to be overcome.  If I could just let people think what they will without my feeling bad about it.  If I didn't forget that this is only momentary and light compared to what is ahead for me.  If only, but it is tough.

 

I only wanted to know if anyone has ever felt this way and if it resolved or didn't.  You can PM me if you don't care to present publicly   In fact, I tried to submit this anonymously, but failed.  I tried to erase it, but the title still stayed, so I went with it anyway. 

 

I wish I could hang around today and see if anything interesting comes out, but I am off for the day to meet with my health advisor 3 hours away.

[GFinDC]

I always thot it was good when the women folk weren't crying.  Might just be my male perspective tho...  Maybe you could give other women classes in not crying?  Probably some men out there would pay to send their wives to your classes.  Where's the little devil face mote?    

[kareng]

Honestly, D, I don't think it is physical.  You have a lot of kids and have spent so much time being strong for them (including when you were pregnant) that you have learned how not to cry.  You are taking care of everyone else.  Doing that isn't bad.  It may be more of a typical "man" response to a situation but I don't think its odd.

 

I find myself doing the same thing my whole life.  It always seems like someone needs me to be the strong one.  Even as a kid, if there was a death in the family - someone needs to remind the boys to comb their hair after their shower, set out a serving fork for the ham, walk the dog, make the coffee, etc.  While others are crying or sitting like a lump or reminiscing  - no time to cry.

 

Also, like you said - too much to do today to try to cry.  Nice day for a 3 hour drive and a picnic.  Got to the bank and straighten out some stuff with my mom's name on it and the death certificate. 

 

 

You may find some stupid TV commercial or your first grandchild will make you cry sometime in the future.

 

I don't talk about stuff like this here or in person much.  But I think this is a safe place to sometimes spill stuff.  Our  families won't see it and feel bad.

[kareng]

I always thot it was good when the women folk weren't crying.  Might just be my male perspective tho...  Maybe you could give other women classes in not crying?  Probably some men out there would pay to send their wives to your classes.  Where's the little devil face mote?    

 

 

I can see you are one of those guys that wants to fix it for the crying ladies. 

Sometimes there is nothing to fix and that drives you guys nuts!  But women find it very sweet. 

[AlwaysLearning]

I've read that having celiac and sjogren's syndrome isn't uncommon. Have you ever looked into that?

[1desperateladysaved]

I always thot it was good when the women folk weren't crying.  Might just be my male perspective tho...  Maybe you could give other women classes in not crying?  Probably some men out there would pay to send their wives to your classes.  Where's the little devil face mote?    

D's steps to avoid crying:

 

1. Have untreated celiac for decades.

2.  Have the saddest thing happen  to you.  In my case a miscarriage in 1987.

3.  Keep going through life

 

Somehow, I don't think this will fit all!

[1desperateladysaved]

I've read that having celiac and sjogren's syndrome isn't uncommon. Have you ever looked into that?

No, I haven't, but I will check on it.

 

Hmmm this sounds like a possibility:  First click took me to Mayo Clinic's definition.

 

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Definition Open Original Shared Link

Sjogren's (SHOW-grins) syndrome is a disorder of your immune system identified by its two most common symptoms — dry eyes and a dry mouth.

Sjogren's syndrome often accompanies other immune-system disorders, such as rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. In Sjogren's syndrome, the mucous membranes and moisture-secreting glands of your eyes and mouth are usually affected first — resulting in decreased production of tears and saliva.

Although you can develop Sjogren's syndrome at any age, most people are older than 40 at the time of diagnosis. The condition is much more common in women. Treatment focuses on relieving symptoms, which often subside with time.

 

 

I don't seem to have any shortage of saliva, though.  Then again perhaps it is part of my water craving occasions?

[1desperateladysaved]

Honestly, D, I don't think it is physical.  You have a lot of kids and have spent so much time being strong for them (including when you were pregnant) that you have learned how not to cry.  You are taking care of everyone else.  Doing that isn't bad.  It may be more of a typical "man" response to a situation but I don't think its odd.

 

I find myself doing the same thing my whole life.  It always seems like someone needs me to be the strong one.  Even as a kid, if there was a death in the family - someone needs to remind the boys to comb their hair after their shower, set out a serving fork for the ham, walk the dog, make the coffee, etc.  While others are crying or sitting like a lump or reminiscing  - no time to cry.

 

Also, like you said - too much to do today to try to cry.  Nice day for a 3 hour drive and a picnic.  Got to the bank and straighten out some stuff with my mom's name on it and the death certificate. 

 

 

You may find some stupid TV commercial or your first grandchild will make you cry sometime in the future.

 

I don't talk about stuff like this here or in person much.  But I think this is a safe place to sometimes spill stuff.  Our  families won't see it and feel bad.

 

Perhaps the miscarriage needed a strong release of tears and nothing has seemed so sad since.

[GFinDC]

D's steps to avoid crying:

 

1. Have untreated celiac for decades.

2.  Have the saddest thing happen  to you.  In my case a miscarriage in 1987.

3.  Keep going through life

 

Somehow, I don't think this will fit all!

 

Hmm, you are right D, we probably won't get many takers on that training!  There are other things to do besides crying tho that might even be more fun.  How about fishing or getting a trophy buck?  Maybe a big tax refund?

 

 

I can see you are one of those guys that wants to fix it for the crying ladies. 

Sometimes there is nothing to fix and that drives you guys nuts!  But women find it very sweet. 

 

Well, maybe the reverse is what's needed here for D.  Perhaps a list of things to make women cry would help.  I think smashing your thumb with a hammer would do the trick.  Or your favorite football team losing the championship?  Dipping your pigtail in the ink well is out of fashion these days.  Just not PC enough.

 

Well, here's some lists of things that make men cry.

 

10 things that make men cry..

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80 more things that make men cry!

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They left this one out for some reason.

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[1desperateladysaved]

Nobody replied that they have this trouble.  Sometimes tears get a point across that no words can. 

[answerseeker]

I was going to suggest Sjogren’s syndrome too. Since you said tears won't actually come out

[1desperateladysaved]

I was going to suggest Sjogren’s syndrome too. Since you said tears won't actually come out

I can be awful noisy, but no tears.  It sounds fakey to me!

[answerseeker]

Maybe you should get tested I think it's just a blood test?

[1desperateladysaved]

Maybe you should get tested I think it's just a blood test?

Any ideas what treatment is available?  I wouldn't test something, unless I can do something about it.  I don't use drugs unless in dire straights.  I just would like to know if it would change my care depending on whether I have it or not.

[kareng]

Any ideas what treatment is available?  I wouldn't test something, unless I can do something about it.  I don't use drugs unless in dire straights.  I just would like to know if it would change my care depending on whether I have it or not.

I know the dry eye part can lead to some serious eye issues.

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[AlwaysLearning]

I don't know much about sjogrens, but anything with the word "syndrome" in the name raises a red flag to me. It normally is used when the medical establishment doesn't understand something well enough to diagnose properly or treat.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably hold off on testing for sjogren's ... for now. Looking them up just now, I see that the tests are pretty similar to the blood tests that are done for celiac - just look for markers of reactions rather than having something specific to identify. So that doesn't seem worth it to me. Plus, the treatments for sjogren's don't treat a cause, just mask the symptoms

I suppose I'd start by doing a ton of research into ALL of the possible causes of reduced tear production. You are more aware of what is going on with your diet and body than what any doctor can learn in a ten-minute appointment, just lack the knowledge/experience to be able to put clues together or ability to order tests. But being more informed could at least help you know what questions to ask when you do see one. And from what little I have researched, a rheumatologist may be helpful because they basically specialize in autoimmune reactions.

And though plenty of people think that reduced tear production can be just a normal part of aging, I'm not buying that. There is something that is causing it, either some sort of deficiency, imbalance, or damage. I can only hope that going gluten free will help your issues to improve as well because many of the causes appear to be auto-immune reactions. 

If you were to have some sort of testing done now, I'd probably start with vitamin deficiencies if you haven't had those tested already. Hormone-level testing couldn't hurt either. But definitely get your test results in writing and do your own research into the normal ranges. So many of them are just too broad and ignore that many of us have horrible symptoms even if we are in the normal ranges, just on the edges of them.

And I wouldn't overlook the really obvious things such as chronic dehydration. 

 

[1desperateladysaved]

I know the dry eye part can lead to some serious eye issues.

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Oh, that reminds me that Mom was treated for dry eyes for years.

Thanks, I will check it out.

D

[1desperateladysaved]

I don't know much about sjogrens, but anything with the word "syndrome" in the name raises a red flag to me. It normally is used when the medical establishment doesn't understand something well enough to diagnose properly or treat.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably hold off on testing for sjogren's ... for now. Looking them up just now, I see that the tests are pretty similar to the blood tests that are done for celiac - just look for markers of reactions rather than having something specific to identify. So that doesn't seem worth it to me. Plus, the treatments for sjogren's don't treat a cause, just mask the symptoms

I suppose I'd start by doing a ton of research into ALL of the possible causes of reduced tear production. You are more aware of what is going on with your diet and body than what any doctor can learn in a ten-minute appointment, just lack the knowledge/experience to be able to put clues together or ability to order tests. But being more informed could at least help you know what questions to ask when you do see one. And from what little I have researched, a rheumatologist may be helpful because they basically specialize in autoimmune reactions.

And though plenty of people think that reduced tear production can be just a normal part of aging, I'm not buying that. There is something that is causing it, either some sort of deficiency, imbalance, or damage. I can only hope that going gluten free will help your issues to improve as well because many of the causes appear to be auto-immune reactions. 

If you were to have some sort of testing done now, I'd probably start with vitamin deficiencies if you haven't had those tested already. Hormone-level testing couldn't hurt either. But definitely get your test results in writing and do your own research into the normal ranges. So many of them are just too broad and ignore that many of us have horrible symptoms even if we are in the normal ranges, just on the edges of them.

And I wouldn't overlook the really obvious things such as chronic dehydration. 

 

Thanks, I do feel like I am getting to the roots.  Thanks for helping confirm that.

 

D

[Gemini]

I don't know much about sjogrens, but anything with the word "syndrome" in the name raises a red flag to me. It normally is used when the medical establishment doesn't understand something well enough to diagnose properly or treat.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably hold off on testing for sjogren's ... for now. Looking them up just now, I see that the tests are pretty similar to the blood tests that are done for celiac - just look for markers of reactions rather than having something specific to identify. So that doesn't seem worth it to me. Plus, the treatments for sjogren's don't treat a cause, just mask the symptoms

I suppose I'd start by doing a ton of research into ALL of the possible causes of reduced tear production. You are more aware of what is going on with your diet and body than what any doctor can learn in a ten-minute appointment, just lack the knowledge/experience to be able to put clues together or ability to order tests. But being more informed could at least help you know what questions to ask when you do see one. And from what little I have researched, a rheumatologist may be helpful because they basically specialize in autoimmune reactions.

And though plenty of people think that reduced tear production can be just a normal part of aging, I'm not buying that. There is something that is causing it, either some sort of deficiency, imbalance, or damage. I can only hope that going gluten free will help your issues to improve as well because many of the causes appear to be auto-immune reactions. 

If you were to have some sort of testing done now, I'd probably start with vitamin deficiencies if you haven't had those tested already. Hormone-level testing couldn't hurt either. But definitely get your test results in writing and do your own research into the normal ranges. So many of them are just too broad and ignore that many of us have horrible symptoms even if we are in the normal ranges, just on the edges of them.

And I wouldn't overlook the really obvious things such as chronic dehydration. 

 

I guess there is some educating to do here......I would agree about the use of the word "syndrome", as in many cases, it can be used to identify a group of symptoms and then symptom treat.  I asked my doctor why the use of "syndrome" vs. disease and this is what she told me.  BTW...this is my functional medicine MD and not the mainstream kind that love to symptom treat.  It is used to describe conditions that exist and are real but have strong overlap of symptoms with other diseases.  Thank you...that was clear as mud.  IBS is one shining example because it's a generic way of saying your bowel is irritated yet is not a specific diagnosis. I have trouble understanding why Sjogren's is listed as a syndrome because it is a real disease.  Your salivery and lachrymal glands are destroyed by your immune system, much the same as your small intestine is by Celiac.  I have Sjogren's and was diagnosed via blood work.  So.......sorry if this is not a good explanation but it's what I learned.  A lot of what the medical world does is confusing.

 

The testing for Sjogren's involves antibody elevation, just like Celiac.  They are looking at SS-A and SS-B antibody levels.  They elevate when the immune system attacks the target glands.  It does not matter one bit that the testing is not for cause and the treatment does not mask the symptoms.  The treatment for the eyes is Restasis eyedrops and they are an extremely useful tool in dealing with the symptoms.  It may not cure anything because nothing will cure Sjogren's but anyone with Sjogren's as bad as I have it would be a fool to not use the eyedrops, if they help.  They can make a night and day difference. You can lose your eyesight from Sjogren's if your eyes get dry enough and I would use crack if it meant not losing my eyesight. Really, I mean that! 

 

Sjogren's does not cause a person to not be able to produce tears.  I have extremely dry eyes and mouth yet I can cry a flood whan I need to.  I know it says "decreased tear production" but that is in reference to the normal lubrication that occurs from the lachrymal glands.  You produce tears that lubricate your eyes and then there is the extreme release when you are upset and cry. I have dry eyes from day to day because I cannot produce enough tears to lubricate them. Sometimes "plugs" can be inserted into some of the tear ducts to block the loss of this normal lubrication and have it stay within the eye but it didn't do diddly for me and the Restasis did.  It's the only medicine I use for all 4 AI diseases I have and I am grateful we have it or I would have had to retire from my job a while ago as I use my eyes for work that needs good focus.  My eyes become easily irritated and mold bothers them but you learn to adapt and move on as best you can.

 

I would think, Diana, that your inability to shed tears has more to do with psychological issues than physical.  I mean this as a friend and not as a snarky you know what.     You have suffered through the years like many of us and are referencing a miscarriage that happened a long time ago.  Maybe you either have come to accept all that life has thrown at you and have come to peaceful terms with it all as you recover from Celiac OR you have not and, with each new challenge that you face, push it under and don't react now that you feel you need to.  Maybe at some point everything became so overwhelming you just didn't want to deal with it on such a deep level.  That happens a lot to many people....they just seem to get stuck along the way.  Do you feel that this could be the case?  You could be tested for Sjogren's if you have really dry eyes but it usually involves the salivery glands also and you would know if your mouth were as dry as mine.  It isn't pleasant and requires a lot of "symptom' treating with liquids and mouthwashes, etc.  Just be aware that it's like Celiac testing.....you can have Sjogren's and not test positive on the antibody test.  This is pretty much the norm for all autoimmune testing.

 

I wish you luck and let me know if you have other questions about Sjogren's! 

[kareng]

I don't know much about sjogrens, but anything with the word "syndrome" in the name raises a red flag to me. It normally is used when the medical establishment doesn't understand something well enough to diagnose properly or treat.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably hold off on testing for sjogren's ... for now. Looking them up just now, I see that the tests are pretty similar to the blood tests that are done for celiac - just look for markers of reactions rather than having something specific to identify. So that doesn't seem worth it to me. Plus, the treatments for sjogren's don't treat a cause, just mask the symptoms

I suppose I'd start by doing a ton of research into ALL of the possible causes of reduced tear production. You are more aware of what is going on with your diet and body than what any doctor can learn in a ten-minute appointment, just lack the knowledge/experience to be able to put clues together or ability to order tests. But being more informed could at least help you know what questions to ask when you do see one. And from what little I have researched, a rheumatologist may be helpful because they basically specialize in autoimmune reactions.

And though plenty of people think that reduced tear production can be just a normal part of aging, I'm not buying that. There is something that is causing it, either some sort of deficiency, imbalance, or damage. I can only hope that going gluten free will help your issues to improve as well because many of the causes appear to be auto-immune reactions. 

If you were to have some sort of testing done now, I'd probably start with vitamin deficiencies if you haven't had those tested already. Hormone-level testing couldn't hurt either. But definitely get your test results in writing and do your own research into the normal ranges. So many of them are just too broad and ignore that many of us have horrible symptoms even if we are in the normal ranges, just on the edges of them.

And I wouldn't overlook the really obvious things such as chronic dehydration.

Many illnesses are treated by just treating the symptoms because we have no " cure" to treat the disease. I would think, for a person with Sjorgrens that treating the dry eye would be better than loosing their eyesight while waiting for a cure. Treating the blood sugar issues of a diabetic with insulin seems better to me than waiting for a a cure to fix the pancreas.

I posted the Sjorgrens link to show you all its a " real" disease. If that was her problem for years, her eye doctor would at least be treating her dry eyes.

[1desperateladysaved]

Many illnesses are treated by just treating the symptoms because we have no " cure" to treat the disease. I would think, for a person with Sjorgrens that treating the dry eye would be better than loosing their eyesight while waiting for a cure. Treating the blood sugar issues of a diabetic with insulin seems better to me than waiting for a a cure to fix the pancreas.

I posted the Sjorgrens link to show you all its a " real" disease. If that was her problem for years, her eye doctor would at least be treating her dry eyes.

I am just thinking about my Mom.  I got at least 2 genes from Mom's side.  She is going down hill.  I think she has celiac, and did all I could to get her diagnosed, but It didn't work out.  Dad said they couldn't follow the diet anyway.  Dry eyes could be a similarity to my struggles, but I wouldn't say my eyes are dry yet.  They just don't abound when they should.

 

D

[AlwaysLearning]

Gemini, I was thinking that jumping to a conclusion that sjogren's is a likely problem here may be a little hasty, especially considering that the original poster hasn't mentioned any complaints with dry eyes or dry mouth. By no means am I saying that sjogrens isn't serious or that using drops if you do have it isn't needed, just that there are many causes for not producing tears and doing one's research before going to a doctor can help.

But I still wish that science would get to the root of the problem. Western medicine is way too happy to treat symptoms without finding causes.

And I'd still say to start with the easy stuff that we know are common in those with celiac first like vitamin deficiencies and hormone imbalances that are linked to lack of tear production. But an additional note, eye doctors should also know more about tear production ... if you can find a good one.