Let's Write A Dining Card That Works!

[cornbread]

I was in NYC last week. Eating out every day is obviously a challenge when you're gluten/casein free. I did reeeeeally well at most places. However on the second to last day, we breakfasted at a slightly fancy place (NoHo Star, downtown) that had been recommended as gluten-safe online. I ordered bacon and eggs. I explained to the waiter that I had some SERIOUS food allergies (I always say allergies because that usually pricks their ears up)... I explained no gluten, ie: no grains, and no dairy. I asked how the bacon was cooked, requested that it wasn't cooked on a grill where toast etc. had been. Eggs - what are they fried in? Was assured olive oil. Food arrives, I take a small forkful of egg and I can taste the butter. I sniff the eggs - yup, butter for sure. Call the waiter over, he checks back with the kitchen and returns, "I'm sorry, let me get you some cooked in olive oil..." "I already ATE SOME!!!" The manager comes over, sorry sorry sorry. She asks "what will happen?" (like it matters - I strictly said NO DAIRY...) but anyway, I say "in the short term, I will be very ill for the next week. In the long-term, maybe intestinal cancer, MS...." She looks a little shocked. Then she says - get this - "Well it's good that you only ate a little..." I flipped!! "It's enough! A microscopic amount is enough to trigger a reaction..." blah blah. I wouldn't usually freak at the staff, but we were SO thorough with the waiter, I double-checked everything - this was just sloppy. No one wrote anything down. The guy just clearly didn't give a $hit. So then it gets better... she asks if I'd like to choose something else from the menu. I tell her it's too late - plus there's no way I'm eating anything else here. Then she says "some fruit? some YOGURT?" I'm like "Yogurt??!! That's DAIRY!" She gets all defensive and says "it's goat's milk yogurt!" Sheesh - what is the point? So of course, within 10 minutes the 'tranquilizer effect' has kicked in - the room starts spinning, my legs go weak, etc.

Anyway, apart from wanting to vent ... it made me decide that we really need some good, SERIOUS sounding dining cards. Something that, if needed, scares them into taking this seriously - whatever it takes to get us safe food. Chances are if they think we will die in the restaurant or sue them, they will be careful!

When I first got diagnosed I used a dining card once or twice, but I never felt they really helped. One waiter just slipped it in his pocket without looking, like he thought I'd handed him my phone number! Another one laughed... I have been searching since then for one that is worded both simply (people don't like to read too much), but also serious sounding enough to make them realise that not a single spec of gluten can be anywhere near your food. Also, I personally need a card that has gluten, casein, soy and eggs.

So I was thinking, between us, maybe we could write our own. I would be happy to lay out a design for us that you can all download (work in graphic design). A lot of us have multiple allergies on top of gluten intolerance, so a few different versions of the card would be cool.

I was thinking something along the lines of...

"I have a serious medical condition that makes certain foods toxic to me. Please make sure my meal does not contain or come into contact with... blah blah..." It needs to explain the cross-contamination issue (I've found that's the biggest problem and even so-called gluten trained staff don't fully understand this part).

Other ideas welcome - I couldn't really get past the first part without it getting too long-winded.

On the back we could maybe have, in smaller type, a list of 'safe' and 'not safe/toxic' foods, just as a guide. This should include the common hidden sources. The front of the card should be very clear and easy to understand, but strike a serious enough tone. I think the problem with the ones I've used before is that they are too wordy but also too cartoony. If something sounded and looked more medically official, it might work better.

[Jnkmnky]

Question....WHAT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN AN ALLERGY??

Answer....AN AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE!!

~I HAVE AN AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE~

Please listen to my very specific food preparation needs.

My health depends on you!

Thank you for all your help in keeping me healthy!

[cornbread]

Pretty cool approach!

[Jnkmnky]

Waiter/tress/person: I,_________________, being in "good" mental health, take full responsibility for the health and well-being of my customer,_____________.

He/She has made me aware of his/her food intolerances/allergies and I,_________, understand the issues perfectly. If my customer,____________, gets sick from the food/beverage I,___________, serve my customer,___________, I assume full responsibility and will pay my customer,________, the sum of ________ (sum to be determined at time of ordering) or perform whatever tasks are required of (in-home nursing, temping at my customer's place of employment...for free) me in order to adequetely satisfy my customer,__________.

Dated_______

Witness_________

Signed in Blood________

[cornbread]

But really, they have that thing on the plane where they say you can't sit in an exit row if you are "unwilling or unable to perform the tasks required of you..." If we had a card like that, we'd never get served! I guess that's one way to stay healthy...

[Nantzie]

I think this is a great idea. Hopefully we'll all be able to put all of our heads together and figure something short, to the point and scary to the staff.

I always thought that the mention of the possibility of noxious gas and instantaneous diarrhea might scare them enough to pay attention. But I also don't want to be gross just to make my point.

I think that the phrase autoimmune disease scares the heck out of anyone who knows what that means, but most people just don't. And when you try to explain it to even friends and relatives, their eyes glaze over. So I have no confidence that a waiter is going to care. Then they think you're either talking about an allergy or something like diabetes where most people can tolerate a little bit.

Maybe "genetic anomaly" or "genetic disorder". I don't like those phrases, but it sounds like something that might prick someone's ears up because it sounds like you're going to tell them something bizarre. Phrased maybe like - "I have a genetic disorder called celiac..." Then if they know about celiac, the word's in there so they know what you're talking about. But if they've never heard about it, they skim over the word celiac, but latch on to the "genetic disorder" phrase.

And throw in the food poisoning comparison. Maybe say that gluten makes our bodies react as if we've gotten food poisoning, including the vomiting, diarrhea and sick for days. How 'bout - "in a reaction identical in severity and symptoms as food poisoning."

Just some thoughts...

Great idea cornbread!

Nancy

[lorka150]

Make sure we add that the first thing that'll happen if they screw up is that we're going to poop all over their restroom.

[Nantzie]

Yea, maybe put the guy who cleans the restrooms in charge of ensuring that our food is prepared properly.

[cornbread]

The thing is, some of us (me included) do not get any gastric symptoms. And to be honest, I think if people thought the food "just" made you throw up, it doesn't sound as serious as it is. That's where the manager saying "Oh, good thing you only ate a little..." came from - she associated the amount of food (a forkful) with the amount of illness I might suffer. She could simply not comprehend the severity and long-term effect that tiny forkful would have. I am STILL completely brain-fogged, exhausted and dizzy, 6 days since the incident. The symptoms should not be relevent to them, because then we're pretty much asking them to judge whether or not it's worth their time to be careful.

[Nantzie]

Very true. It shouldn't matter how THEIR day or week will be ruined (because of your symptoms). It should just matter that you asked them to do something as a guest of their establishment.

I've read on here that people have more luck with this if they talk to the manager ahead of time. But, that's not always possible, especially if you're traveling.

Hmmm....

I think throwing in the word genetic in there will spark some interest in what we're trying to explain, but I'm coming up blank today as far as phrasing.

Nancy

[mytummyhurts]

The one time I used my GIG card the waiter didn't even look at it. He just held it while I talked and then gave it back to me. but I did have a good experience at that restaurant. I've only been out 3 times since I've been gluten free, the past 11 months. I really miss being able to just go out and eat whatever I want.

Anyways, I just wanted to point out if you had a card that was too scary many restaurants just may refuse to serve you and they may say why do you eat out at all if it's so dangerous to your health? Maybe that's why they don't take it that seriously, they figure if it's so bad if you're contaminated then you wouldn't be there to begin with.

[Ursa Major]

Waiter/tress/person:  I,_________________, being in "good" mental health, take full responsibility for the health and well-being of my customer,_____________.

He/She has made me aware of his/her food intolerances/allergies and I,_________, understand the issues perfectly.  If my customer,____________, gets sick from the food/beverage I,___________, serve my customer,___________, I assume full responsibility and will pay my customer,________, the sum of ________ (sum to be determined at time of ordering) or perform whatever tasks are required of (in-home nursing, temping at my customer's place of employment...for free) me in order to adequetely satisfy my customer,__________. 

Dated_______

Witness_________

Signed in Blood________

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I haven't laughed so hard in a while, and needed it today. I am pumped full of painkillers today, because I somehow got glutened yesterday.

The cards are a good idea in theory, but somehow I think that they wouldn't work. I find that in some places people care and pay attention no matter what, and in other places they won't read them anyway, or listen to what you have to say. It's all a matter of attitude.