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New And Confused

Guest mother in law

By Guest mother in law
in Parents, Friends and Loved Ones of Celiacs

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Guest mother in law
Guest mother in law
Posted

I am new to this site, and new to message boards all together, so bear with me, I hope I am doing this right. My future daughter in law was recently diagnosed with celiac disease. She has been through H*** and back since Christmas Eve. She was diagnosed with everything from a bowel impaction to a mental disorder. She had her gallbladder taken out, and is now trying to adjust to the new gluten-free diet. I am also trying to sort out ingredient labels because she spends a lot of time at our home.

It seems to me that she has gone through some extreme mood swings in the past 6 months. I know this is normal for girls her age (17), and being the mother of 2 boys who don't seem to have near the extreme changes she has, I wonder if this could also be associated with celiac. It seems to me like her and her mother are fighting constantly now, and her mother is even talking about a psychiatrist now. The whole family is at wits end, and I feel caught in the middle, since her parents are very good friends of ours. It has gone so far that she says she wants to come and live with us as soon as she turns 18, even though it is a different town and different school.

I am sure I will be posting with many more questions. I have ordered a couple of books, hopefully they will help answer some of them for me.

Thank you so much

Dee (mother in law)

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Hi Dee--Glad you found us! Celiac can indeed cause mood swings. I suffered from depression and anxiety for many years before I was diagnosed. I found that after about 4 months on the gluten-free diet, my moods began to even out. This takes time, and the time varies from person to person. It sounds like your future dil has been thru an awful lot in a pretty short time. It is very important she stays 100% gluten-free, gets enough rest, and a multivitamin is a good idea, also. She's very lucky to have you in her corner! Feel free to ask anything--you can even PM me if you want. Two great books I would recommend are--Dangerous Grains and Wheat Free Worry Free. These would be good for her and the whole family to read. And don't worry about posting--you did fine :D

Guest mother in law
Guest mother in law
Posted

Patti,

Thank you so much! I almost started crying when I read your post. I am so relieved to know that some of her mood swings could be from this. I guess I have mountains to learn on this subject. Her relationship is deteriorating very fast with her parents. They are about at the end of their rope with her. She does not show this side when she is with us. I don't know if she just exercises more self control when we are around, or maybe they push some buttons they should not push.......Teen years are so tough anyway, then to add all of these complications to it. When she first found out the celiac disease diagnosis, her reaction was...."I'd rather be dead" When you think about a teens diet consisting of burgers, pizza and spaghetti, I guess I can understand her initial reaction. Thankfully she has come out of that. We found a recipe for pizza crust that is pretty good. It's going to make dates a challenge for them, but my son is fully committed to her, and has cooked meals at home for them, before they go to the movies, or the mall.

I'm sure I'll be back for more encouragement. If you think of anything that will help me out, I'm open to any and all suggestions.

Thank you again.

Dee

mouse Enthusiast
mouse
Posted

Mood swings are part of the disease, but they do level out after going gluten-free. It takes time. I used to have a terrible temper that I could not stop no matter what and that is now over. You are going to make a wonderful mother-in-law and your son must have learned from you. It is great that your future DIL has such support during this huge learning expierence. There is wonderful food out there that she can eat and there are restaurants that have gluten-free menu's.

MallysMama Explorer
MallysMama
Posted

Dee,

It's so good to see you so involved and interested and concerned for this girl who seems to mean so much to your son. I know it was difficult for my in-laws when they learned what I couldn't eat - especially when my mother-in-law's "specialty" is lasagna. My hubby comes from a family of mostly boys... and I think I was quite a shock to their system! :) I'm 22 now...but was 19 when we got married. I've always been very emotional and sensitive (until recently - I never thought my mood was altered by celiac). I've had celiac my whole life though - so I don't completely understand what your future DIL is going though - but I think I can relate a little bit (except my family is 100% supportive). I have one idea for you to be able to help her. You're already going in the right direction by learning more about Celiac. (As much as I love my MIL - I don't think she has a clue -past what I've told her- about my disease. Part of that is my problem...because I don't make a big deal about it at their house.) Anyway - my suggestion would be to make some gluten-free food for her when she's around your house. Look in the recipe section of this website and try some of the suggested goodies. I don't know if she has been on this website yet or not...but encourage her to come aboard and learn more and then we can support her as well. Because this disease is all about food - it's sooo discouraging to not know what to eat. If you can make something new for her to try - and have everyone else eat it too (so she's not singled out and alone)...that might help her out a little - especially when her parents aren't very supportive. She needs as many people on her side as she can get. I'm sure her mood swings are normal - she's gotta be going through so much right now...and being at such a hard age to begin with, celiac sure doesn't help!

I don't even know you...but I'm so grateful for you - for being interested in this girl's well-being and wanting to help her. Us Celiacs need more non-celiacs like you wanting to learn and wanting to help make things easier for us. Thank you!

mommida Enthusiast
mommida
Posted

Off the top of my head I can think of 3 reasons why she could be having mood swings.

Vitamin and nutrient defiencies.

Being diagnosed with a lifelong condition.

There is evidence of wheat having an opiate effect on certain individuals, and going gluten free can be like and addicted person going cold turkey.

She may need to be casein free too.

With your family's love and support she will get through this transition period.

Laura

StrongerToday Enthusiast
StrongerToday
Posted

First let me say it's so great that you are supporting her like this! I could not have gotton this far without the love and support of my family.

Her moods can also be caused from the withdrawel from foods, but also mourning her past life. It's a very hard transition to make, esp. for a 17 year old. I was 37 and it was hard as heck, some days it still is. I found it easier to make sure I have my meals planned ahead, have good snacks or emegency foods on hand, and really -while I know this is probably forever- I'm just focusing on one day at a time. She also may want to visit with a therapist, I started going in January and it's helped a lot!

Someone posted a great link today about coping, if you haven't read it - click on this:

Open Original Shared Link

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Canadian Karen Community Regular
Canadian Karen
Posted

Hi Mother-in-Law,

This girl is one lucky gal if she is going to have you as a MIL! You are going above and beyond what most current MIL's do, not to mention future MIL!

Here are links to a couple of threads that I dug up that might be of some help to you:

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Good Luck!

Karen

Guest mother in law
Guest mother in law
Posted

Thank you all so much. It is great to find somewhere to get real people to answer questions out of experience. I am off work today and tomorrow, so I plan on spending some time on the sites some of you have listed. I work a lot of hours, and am never home on the weekends, so my posts will probably be only a few. Please know that I am reading here daily in all of the topics, trying to soak up as much info as I can. And I am grateful to each and every one of you for your support of a total stranger.

Thanks again.

MIL

Dee

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Dee--I'm really glad that the board has been so helpful to you. Keep reading anytime you get the chance, and don't hesitate to ask any questions you have. Hope your future DIL is doing better :)

  • 2 weeks later...
tammy Community Regular
tammy
Posted

Dear MIL,

May I refer to you as dear? You certainly have come to the right place and the both of you will need extra support for quite sometime. I agree that staying 100% gluten-free is critical to her recovery and overall long term health. It is hard to for me to say why she is behaving differently in your company without hearing more about her but a diagnosis of Celiac disease is no laughing matter. Yet she will need to find, and I do mean find, coping skills for this disease. I don't necessarily believe that she needs a Psychiatrist right now unless there is something else going on.

I want to suggest that her progress be measured in montly or bi-monthly intervals as long as she is trying to avoid gluten.

Hugs for you!

Will you keep us posted on your combined efforts?

Me

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