Need Your Help! How Do You Convince Someone?

[Mango04]

I know a woman with Celiac disease (actually she's a friend of a friend of my mom's and I've never met her). Anyway, I'm a bit worried about her. She has *never* been on a gluten-free diet and *is* symptomatic. She also has a young daughter who supposedly suffers from stomach aches all the time. They both eat tons and tons of gluten.

She emailed requesting advice, so I'm going to send her all sorts of information. What would you say to someone in this situation to try and convince them they need to stop eating gluten? I know the question is kinda dumb but I want my email to her to be as helpful, informative and persuasive as possible (and of course I'm going to send her to this board). I get the sense that she knows very little about Celiac and has absolutely no idea how to eliminate gluten from her diet.

Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

[flagbabyds]

I would basically tell her to go to her doctor. Most people would think that it is a real way to get a diagnosis, which would make her more convinced to take it seriously. JUst tell her the name of a doctor that you either went to who is knowledegable about celiac, Then if she can get a firm diagnosis, you can talk to her about the diet and the way to help it. That is probably the best way to help her, once she gets a firm diagnosis, then you will be the person that she will turn to once she is diagnosed.

[Mango04]

Well I believe she already has a firm diagnosis, that's the thing. She just doesn't know how important it is to be on a gluten-free diet. I just want to help her out without scaring her or sounding too harsh or overly bombarding her with information (which I could easily do )

[Pegster]

It's pretty hard to convince someone to change their diet even if it's necessary! I have a relative (by marriage) who is VERY ill with Celiac and absolutely won't hear of changing his diet. I just about passed out when he said, "Yeah, I've got that wheat thing, too" as he was chugging a beer and wolfing down a sandwich. I talked to him and to his wife for hours about how they can stick to the diet. They just shrugged and mumbled that it sounded too hard. It's hard for me to tune them out when they whine about his health, but it's really in their hands. They say that the doctors can't cure him and are absolutely disinterested in following the diet. Unless someone chooses to follow the diet willingly, they're destined to cheat. I agree that you should link them to this web site right away. I learned more on this site than from any doctor or dietician. If they are intelligent people, a few posts into this site should convince them to go gluten-free for life.

[Carriefaith]

I think that you should give her the link to this message board. Also, maybe provide her with gluten free product lists, recipes, and meal ideas. You can send her some of my recipes as well: Open Original Shared Link

You could also send her a list of the complications of celiac disease: Open Original Shared Link

Many people feel overwhelmed by the gluten-free diet, she just may need some encouragement and support and like you said, she may not know how to get rid of all the gluten.

[tarnalberry]

I know a woman with Celiac disease (actually she's a friend of a friend of my mom's and I've never met her). Edit: she has firmly diagnosed Celiac disease. Anyway, I'm very worried about her. She has *never* been on a gluten-free diet and *is* symptomatic. She also has a young daughter who supposedly suffers from stomach aches all the time. They both eat tons and tons of gluten.

She emailed requesting advice, so I'm going to send her all sorts of information. What would you say to someone in this situation to try and convince them they need to stop eating gluten? I know the question is kinda dumb but I want my email to her to be as helpful, informative and persuasive as possible (and of course I'm going to send her to this board). I get the sense that she knows very little about Celiac and has absolutely no idea how to eliminate gluten from her diet.

Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

She already knows that she has celiac disease, so I think the key is to let her know, in a very upbeat and positive way, that the diet is really definitely doable and not all tha bad. Give her all the information on how to succeed on the diet, and then all the reasons to do so - all the good things that have improved since going on the diet.

[Rusla]

My sister scared the pants off of me. She told me about one of her Celiac friends who had colon cancer because of the disease and now has to walk around with his waste in a bag. She also told me about another friend who ended up having stomach cancer from it and he died. That is what prompted me to do something about it.

[Mango04]

Thanks for the suggestions. I just hate to think about this woman who suffers so much because she's afraid to change her diet. Hopefully she'll come here and we can all help her out.

[Nantzie]

I agree that it's the idea of it that is worse than the actual living with it. Other than hidden gluten and cross contamination it's WAY less restrictive than even the Atkins diet. My husband is on Atkins, and I have to go without rice, potatoes, sugar and even some veggies for dinner. I just think that the gluten-free diet sounds harder and more overwhelming than it actually is, as far as when you're preparing your own food.

I think your friend would feel so much better coming here and talking to other people who get it. With some of the stories about doctors, etc., I'm guessing there are a lot of diagnosed celiacs who are still suffering because the doctor didn't really push it or the nutritionist gave bad info, or the information given was out of date or incomplete.

I hope she joins us, even just to lurk and read the archives. Theres so much information here, and EVERY question has been asked at least once.

Nancy

[gfp]

It's hard for me to tune them out when they whine about his health, but it's really in their hands.

Don't bother tuning them out tell them they are getting what they deserve and you don't want to hear about their whining, they really have no right to whine about being ill if they don't even want to change.

Unless someone chooses to follow the diet willingly, they're destined to cheat. I agree that you should link them to this web site right away. I learned more on this site than from any doctor or dietician. If they are intelligent people, a few posts into this site should convince them to go gluten-free for life.

Agree strongly on #1

But on the rest I know lots of MD's who smoke, people who trust polititians and even some people that enjoy McDonalds and I really can't see how an intellegent person could do any of these yet ... millions do!

In this case she is asking for advice so that's a good start....but I have learned that worrying too much about others killing themselves is bad for your own health. You end up worrying for them, these people are what I call emotional leaches.

They want to take the beer and pizza and let you do the worrying.

[StrongerToday]

If she lives in your area, I'd suggest offer to take her shopping too. If you attend a local meeting group then invite her along. Invite her over for a tasty meal so she see we're not just eating twigs and berries. I think the hardest part of starting a gluten-free diet is knowing what you can and can not have - having a mentor would be so helpful.

[gfp]

If she lives in your area, I'd suggest offer to take her shopping too. If you attend a local meeting group then invite her along. Invite her over for a tasty meal so she see we're not just eating twigs and berries. I think the hardest part of starting a gluten-free diet is knowing what you can and can not have - having a mentor would be so helpful.

What, noone told me.... (actually very good point, I know quite a few peope who have seen a nutritionist who come away scared to eat fresh fuit and vegetables because they are not labelled gluten-free)

[Guhlia]

Maybe buy her a gluten free recipe book as an "I care" gift. Surprise her with it on a fun outing that includes a spectacular gluten free meal. Gluten free can be completely tasty and I think that's probably what she needs to see in order to help her make the decision to stick to the diet. I know, for me personally, the dietary changes were very hard at first. I was a pizza/pasta addict.

You may also want to supply her with the names of a few local shops that carry some gluten free specialty foods as well as a list of mainstream manufacturers that will clearly list gluten (ie: Kraft, General Mills...) I know when I first started the diet I couldn't find ANYTHING that I thought was safe and I got glutened all the time. I wish I would've found this website much sooner and had the support and knowledge of all these wonderful people here.

You're a great friend for being so concerned about her. I really hope that she opens her eyes and makes an effort to get better. Good luck!!!