Omg...i Might Be On To Something

[AndreaB]

Laura,

Are you still here? How'd the appointment go today?

When the manager got there someone told her and she took the dryer sheets off the display.

She said they would take them down while I was working.....I felt bad but even she said they were REALLY strong.

I dont even see how anyone could walk around all day smelling like that and NOT get a headache from it.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? Are they trying to tell people that cheese will make them smell bad so they better pick up some dryer sheets to overcome their odor?

[happygirl]

x

[AndreaB]

Stupid Doctors.

You said it. Mitch was pretty upset last night when I told him what Kaiser had done to you.

[Rachel--24]

i'm sorry---sometimes it is just too much to post. i want to, it just doesn't "come" sometimes. hard to wrap my mind around everything.

Laura,

get some rest.....we'll still be here when you feel like posting.

[AndreaB]

I understand. We'll all be here when you feel up to posting.

I go through many times where I'm not that talkative, on the forum anyway. But I always read everything that everyone posts.

I've got sick kids thanks to Mitch (j/k). Makes it even harder to try and figure out what to have when "things don't taste the same". I did call Freeda today and their vitamins are also soy and citrus free (except orange flavor). I've got to get Talitha unflavored but she'll still be able to take them anyway.

[rinne]

I thought everyone did--I assumed it was the salt content?

I don't recall my tears ever burning with this acid quality before I got ill and that is nearly fifty years of tears. I just had to say fifty.

Great post Rachel. It is rather awesome to really look at how deadly it is. I do think it is an epidemic but that for many people it has not been triggered in their bodies. Perhaps it was the mercury for you, perhaps a very stressful event the fall after the bite for me, who knows but what is clear to me is that it is much more prevalent than we are aware of. I think many people could turn it away from them if they understood the importance of true wellness, I think that is what we need to speak to but first we must get well.

As I explore my bodily memory of illness in the spring of 2003 I feel as if I have found a flaw in the fabric, I see/feel a thread that is particularly fragile and I feel as if in order to heal I must weave in brilliant and joyful threads to support that thread. That is what I think what we do here, we create something that is more alive than the despair and the pain.

Lyme is a stealth virus, it enters our bodies and reprograms us in order to steal our health, if it is attacked too directly it goes into survival mode and replicates even more, I think we have to make friends with it, we have to say, well, I see you have brought something interesting into my life and I will work with you but I am in charge and you cannot have all of me, you cannot even have half of me.

[Rachel--24]

I was wondering when you're gonna start eating all the bad foods again....I'm kinda worried about that.

[rinne]

Andrea,

I got the bite and flu-like symptoms 6 years ago...I've been sick for 4 years now. Yeah...treatment will be long...I will always have Lyme Disease now thats its become a chronic infection. Stupid Doctors.

Me too.

Robbin is fine though she is having some troubles with her eyes, I see her over at Daily Strength.

I'm thinking you meant your question for Andrea?

[Rachel--24]

I think we have to make friends with it, we have to say, well, I see you have brought something interesting into my life and I will work with you but I am in charge and you cannot have all of me, you cannot even have half of me.

Rinne...I'm not making friends....this is what I'm saying to the Lyme:

"DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??

Do you REALLY want a piece of me!!!!

I'm gonna pulverize them and my guess is that they'll decide they DONT want a piece of me afterall.

Harumph.

I'm thinking you meant your question for Andrea?

My question was for Laura but I wasnt fast enough and some posts got in-between.

[AndreaB]

Yep, I thought it was for Laura as our intolerances don't cause the sickness she goes through.

I'm very concerned about Laura going through that too.

[rinne]

"DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??

Do you REALLY want a piece of me!!!!

Like another friend chants, "die bugs die".

That's good, I figure the salt and vitamin C is my way of posting eviction notices. But I just can't be angry anymore and I can't be bitter about all of this, it eats too much away at what energy I have for joy. Now I ask, what price do I pay for this particular energy. I see how I have wound myself in the past over grief or rage and how it has taken too much and returned too little. Don't get me wrong, I love your feisty spirit and perhaps it would be more accurate for me to say that I am willing to make friends with my fragile body, my human body, the body that will die, and accept it in a new way. Lyme doesn't scare me anymore, like I say it's just finding out I'm in the Lyme Clan and after all we would never be having this conversation if it wasn't for that. Really Rachel, when I think of the odds that my first excursion to a board about health issues would be this board and then that Celia invited me over to this thread and that after 500 pages we both have Lyme I'd say, so what are the odds? It's Lyme Alive.

[happygirl]

x

[Rachel--24]

Rinne....another thing for me to consider is this.

A couple months before the "onslaught" of symptoms I got promoted. It was alot of responsibility and ALOT of work. I was pushing myself HARD....I've always been like this anyway but I was feeling the stress from it. I wasnt taking breaks...not even stopping to have lunch. At the same time I was commuting.....a couple hours each way. I guess my work day (counting the drive) was close to 14 hours. At the same time my extremely jealous partner was freaking out on me.....thinking I was cheating. It got particularly bad right around the same time that everything else was going on. This was a fight that lasted EVERY day until we broke up about 10 months later....when I was already really sick and had been on disability for like 7 months.

Basically I had chronic stress....real bad. I was stressed from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed....and probably even during my sleep. All of this started in Sept. 2002. By Nov. I was symptomatic....having heat flashes, chills, migraines, sensitivity to light, eye pain and hairloss....to start with. By Dec. I was starting to worry and right after the new year I was out on disability.

I can recall the exact week that I started having symptoms...I was *highly* stressed with work issues and an incompetant manager. Then when my partner would argue with me at home all of a sudden the stress was triggering instant migraines and I'd be completely wiped out from getting upset or raising my vioce. I couldnt cope with the stess anymore and the migraines were occurring EVERY day and EVERY time I became upset.

I was blaming my partner for causing my thyroid to go overactive....I had thought that was the cause of my symptoms. My labs *did* show I'd gone hyper so there was no reason to think anything else was going on at the time. My symptoms were consistent with Hyperthyroid.....although much more extreme than I'd ever experienced before....and my meds were not allieving ANY symptoms as they had in the past. My meds werent working.....they *appeared* to be working (as the lab numbers became normal) but my symptoms remained and were getting even worse.

Could chronic stress have caused this much damage....I had always thought it was mercury but what if the mercury load really isnt that great? My hair analysis didnt even show elevated mercury at all....which is why the Dr. focused his attention on Lyme in the first place. I'm sure mercury didnt help but maybe it was my stress causing the most damage? I thought I could handle everything I was doing to myself but of course I had no idea about the Lyme already exsisting in my body.

My stess only got more severe following the break-up because I wasnt strong.... I had NO coping skills..... I was off work and REALLY scared of everything that was happening in my life. I didnt understand why I was soooo weak....emotionally and physically. It took me TWO years to stop crying over the break-up and this was VERY out of character for me. I was always strong and stubborn but the illness had taken all of my strength away....leaving me totally vulnerable.

I only got strong when I took all the toxins out of my diet. I stopped crying and picked myself up and got myself to where I'm at today. In the end....it was 3 years of severe chronic stress though. This alone probably would've given the Lyme a GREAT advantage.

[Rachel--24]

Really Rachel, when I think of the odds that my first excursion to a board about health issues would be this board and then that Celia invited me over to this thread and that after 500 pages we both have Lyme I'd say, so what are the odds? It's Lyme Alive.

It certainly is!

When I started this thread I had no idea I'd be "on to something" that would eventually lead me to be a part of the Laughing Ladies Lyme Clan. We've been sick nearly the same amount of time, met here on this thread and got diagnosed within a couple weeks of each other. What are the odds?

[DingoGirl]

When I started this thread I had no idea I'd be "on to something" that would eventually lead me to be a part of the Laughing Ladies Lyme Clan. We've been sick nearly the same amount of time, met here on this thread and got diagnosed within a couple weeks of each other. What are the odds?

Indeed....incredibly crazy and spooky and surreal and yet somehow, fated and meant to be.

[Rachel--24]

I am mad at my mom right now.

She's seen all I've gone through to try to get everything figured out. In the begininng she was one of the non-believers...telling me theres nothing wrong...that I'm just worrying too much. Telling me that the Dr.'s know what they're doing....to stop reading stuff online....if I stop "thinking" about my symptoms they will just "go away".

Obviously she has changed her thinking and has been on my side....helping me for quite some time now. She believes in me now....she's seen how rough its all been for me and how dediacted I am to researching and getting better.

The thing is she just told me that a guy from her work stopped her and asked her how her kids were. She said she was in a hurry and didnt feel like getting into a discussion about my health so she didnt mention anything about me being sick. He told her his oldest daughter (a junior in high school) has been really sick for 3 years now. Shes diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and has to take pain meds. Her joints are all cramped up.....she gets all crippled into a fetal position with stiff joints and muscle pain. The mediactions arent helping and shes not getting better....and my mom says NOTHING.

I know I've said this before but I DONT believe in Fibro anymore than I believe in IBS as a diagnosis. Its just a diagnosis they hand out when they dont know whats wrong. I bet a HUGE amount of Fibro cases are actually Lyme Disease....maybe even Celiac....the point is this girl has *something* going on.

I believe stuff happens for a reason. This guy asked about me and told of his daughters illness and my mom could've said something to possibly help this guy and his daughter.....but she didnt.

So I got irritated....went on a rant....the girl is only a junior in HIGH SCHOOL. Can you imagine what her life will be like if she doesnt get any REAL answers? Shes almost been sick as long as I've been sick but at least I had 31 years of perfect health and a whole lot of FUN.

I am mad at doctors AGAIN...this girl should not be suffering like this. I bet she has NOT been tested for Lyme. She is going to STANFORD for treatment and this is all they could come up with??? Fibromyalgia???

After my rant my mom said she will tell him everything tomorrow.

[CarlaB]

I think stress is a HUGE factor. Each of the four times whatever I have has incapacitated me it's been under times of great stress. Most recently it was because we were trying for FIVE years to sell our house. We actually moved to this house (that I LOVE, it was built in 1916 -- I feel like we are stewards of it in this time in history) back in 2002. We lived here for a year and couldn't take the financial strain anymore so moved BACK! We tried to sell off and on from 2001-2006 and finally sold in 2006 after we decided the stress was killing me and we were just going to stay there. We got an offer after our listing expired -- we kept turning him down for SIX weeks!! Finally, we couldn't refuse a full-price! It has nearly killed me, but now we're back here. The other three times were all unusual stress, too.

So, it's interesting that you can have an underlying disease and that the symptoms can be dormant until times of stress bring them out.

I do have joint pain ... in my left knee, my thumbs, and, of course, my jaw and neck (TMJ).

[DingoGirl]

Stress has nearly killed me.....try going five days - I SAID FIVE ENTIRE DAYS - without one minute of sleep due to abject panic, your pulse almost double its normal rate....and then showing up at 7 a.m to teach the first day of school for a second-third combination class.....that was in 1992 and I"ve never been the same. BTW, I didn't make it. As a teacher. Might as well have asked me to build a spaceship from scratch and fly it to the moon, or plop me down in the Pentagon adn say, you're in charge. That's how mind-numbingly difficult it was for me.

Rachel....the ONLY good thing about all that you/we/any of us has suffered is that possibly we can help other people - I believe we even have a moral responsibility to do it. I mean, what is the point to any of this if we can't reach a hand into the dark forest in which a sufferer is stuck, and show them that there is a way out. So.....yeah, I'd be mad at my mom too, if she did that. Good thing she'll talk to the guy.

Stanford? That's the best they can do??? Doctors need to smugly give an answer, even if they don't know - - - and most patients accept this because it came from A DOCTOR....and will continue to naively suffer. It is completely heinous.

I had some brilliant thought and some sort of epiphany as I was reading and thinking, and, like a vapor, it left my sieve-like brain and so I have nothing of any import to say right now.

[Rachel--24]

So, it's interesting that you can have an underlying disease and that the symptoms can be dormant until times of stress bring them out.

Yeah...it happened for me the same. Even during the two years following the bite that I was symptom free I still had some problems if I got overly stressed for any length of time. I ALWAYS contributed it to my thyroid and would take my meds for a week or two until I felt better. The stress was never prolonged during those episodes though...I was mostly happy. It was only when the stress became more serious and chronic that I wasnt able to recover like I had in the past. Obviously it wasnt my thyroid causing the symptoms.

I'm sure my immune system was supressing the Lyme....holding it back. Whenever I got stressed my immunity was weakened and symptoms would occur but I would recover....because I was happy and at peace. I think each time the Lyme probably grew somewhat stronger though....growing without me even knowing it was there. Eventually there was just too much stress....I also have to take into account my fast food diet, the fact that I smoked and the fact that I never let my body rest. Then there was the mercury.

[CarlaB]

Yeah, the mercury ... I did have it show up in my hair analysis, but not as bad as the aluminum.

I used to eat a fast food diet, but have been into really healthy, organic eating for over ten years now. This is the only failure I've had in my health since I've been eating right, except for digestive issues. I DO think that I have a gluten problem but I think there's more to it ... it can't be all or I would be getting better.

[Rachel--24]

Rachel....the ONLY good thing about all that you/we/any of us has suffered is that possibly we can help other people - I believe we even have a moral responsibility to do it. I mean, what is the point to any of this if we can't reach a hand into the dark forest in which a sufferer is stuck, and show them that there is a way out.

Exactly Susan....you said it PERFECTLY....exactly what I was feeling.

I DO feel a responsibilty to help others. There is a REASON this has happened to me...there is a PURPOSE to all of it. I could never ever forget all of this....even if I were to be 100% again....I will be sharing my story and reaching out to others who are still searching. There will ALWAYS be someone who is just beginning their journey....someone who is as lost as I was 4 years ago...even 2 years ago...I want to help those people before they get battered by our very own medical system.

[Rachel--24]

Carla...I'm feeling anxiety about the wait for your Lyme test. OMG...I'm gonna have anxiety for the results of *everyones* tests.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Might as well have asked me to build a spaceship from scratch and fly it to the moon, or plop me down in the Pentagon adn say, you're in charge.

Then again, you might do a better job than the bozo in charge now...

[DingoGirl]

Then again, you might do a better job than the bozo in charge now...

you could get in lotsa trouble for that here......

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Oops