Friends Are Fusterating

[Kiki]

With just being diagnosed with celiacs i am really going full force with this diet and i bring in my lunches for school and am trying to get my " best friends" involved in keeping myself healthy. They are making me pretty upset bc i let them try my food and things i think are pretty good and im trying to stay positive they do nothing but knock it down and say how gross it is. Wouldnt you think that being my best friend they would be supporting me. Does anybody else experience this?

[celiac3270]

I know what you mean. There's not really much you can do about it. I guess the best advice is to try not to let it bother you. It doesn't matter what they think--you're the one who has to eat it, not them. And don't worry if you feel the same way initially. It takes awhile to get used to, but eventually the gluten-free version tastes "normal" and it's difficult to remember what the other stuff tasted like.

[flagbabyds]

It will take them a while to get used to what you are going through. Maybe sit them down, and talk to them about how it is hurting you, or just don't give them food. That's what I do, I would never give my friends my food, because they would think that it was gross.

Hang in there, and fell free to e-mail me if you have any other questions, I am 15 and have been gluten-free for 14 years. Know it pretty well.

[tarnalberry]

They are making me pretty upset bc i let them try my food and things i think are pretty good and im trying to stay positive they do nothing but knock it down and say how gross it is. Wouldnt you think that being my best friend they would be supporting me. Does anybody else experience this?

Them telling you that the specific food you ask them to try is not tasty doesn't mean they aren't supporting you. It means they don't like the food. It also means your friends are honest - let's face it, a lot of gluten free foods aren't tasty at all, *and* taste is a subjective thing. (This is something you learn to take to heart when you like chocolate, but marry someone who thinks it's one of the nastiest tastes on the face of the planet.)

If you're not prepared to hear an honest answer to that question, you need to not ask it. I know it seems like harsh advice, but it's true. Sometimes, if I'm uncertain about how others will like something I've baked, and have had a string of uncertainties come out of the kitchen, I won't share, because I don't want to deal with the possibility of "eh, yeah... that kinda sucks". But I certainly don't want people lieing.

If they are helping to make sure you don't get contaminated, trying to make sure you've got something to eat at gatherings (even if it's a bag of baby carrots), and try to take your diet into consideration when looking at restaurants to go to, then they ARE supporting you. Heck, if they just listen to your attempts at finding gluten free food, they're supporting you. Telling you that food they don't like is good is not supporting you, it's just playing games, and kinda mean.

[sasha1234]

When I first went off gluten 4 years ago, my friends were less than supportive. I got forgotten when they went out for dinner or whatever. It was easier for them to just kinda forget about including me than for them to figure out what celiac and gluten-free meant. However, that has all changed. Gradually as they saw how much healthier I was (more energy, physically looking much better, better mood etc) they became more convinced that celiac was "real". Now, my best friends know everything about gluten-free and can pick out gluten containing ingredients in labels and have even been the ones to discover celiac friendly restaurants in my city.

Also, as I've gotten older, more people are interested in learning what celiac is. This year alone, people I've met in some of my classes have noticed my Enjoy Life bars and have asked me about them, thus prompting a discussion on celiac.

Basically, all I want to say is hang in there. I second what others have said about the food. Most of my friends have thought my food was disgusting, but gradually they too have got used to some of it and have accepted it as a different food. So instead of expecting "real" pizza they have "celiac" pizza and truly enjoy it.

[MySuicidalTurtle]

A lot of people are scared of trying new, different, and healthy foods. The majority of my friends and family aren't into trying gluten-free food and think it's bad even before trying it. However, the people who are most accepting are the people who love trying new things. I have a handful of friends and cousins who are always asking to try my food or wanting me to cook a meal for us. Some people are just down with new tastes and others stick to what they think they know is good. Don't worry if they aren't wanting gluten-free food, they just can't help it.

[odcdinah]

Alot of the stupid comments can be chalked up to plain old immaturity!

[eKatherine]

A lot of people nowadays take real pride in their narrow tastes, and will gladly put on a show for you about how much they dislike or even hate foods they have never tried. If you eat food that's different from theirs, it's just different, not worse. If you prepare it with care, then it's better than theirs.

I make a very attractive lunch to bring with me each day, and I get lots of comments on how healthy the food looks. The only time my gluten problem comes up for discussion is if I need to decline something that's offered to me.

[KaitiUSA]

Many people just do not understand. Try informing her and telling her you really need support. If she is your best friend you should be able to talk to her. You can always come to these sites for support to. It does get easier as time goes on so hang in there:) Email me if you need anything because I have been in your position before and unfortunately some people do not get it and some people will eventually get it while others just won't

[Guest Viola]

Lots of good advice here. But just to be a little practicle...considering the cost of gluten free food, I think we should just keep the good stuff to ourselves

[squiffy]

i know how you feel.

i have recently be diagnosed with this, and when i was telling my friends about it, most of them just said oh well i wouldn't be able to do that i wouldn't bother if i was you, its really hard that they don't understand and don't seem interested at all when it's a part of your life now

[DragonQueen]

OMG, I go through the exact same thing. I'm the only one of my friends that brings a lunch. They don't say it's gross cuz I dont let them try it but they look at me weird all the time and sometimes make a rude comment like "Whats that suppose to be." Ya its very frustrating but when my friends say stuff like that I'd say "Who cares about what you eat! Food is just food! " Most food I bring to school is what they eat, chips (the kinds I can eat) or a bring fruit and they don't say anything. My good friends at school are supportive though. Really, food is just food, no one should care what you eat. If they do just ignore or comment back.

<3 ___KK____ <3

[Lister]

guss im not complety a teen anymore but im 20, but anyways yeah it can be rought atleast there not teasing you like my friends do. My girlF is supportive and feels bad even eating around me but most my friends if they see me they will get right up in my face with like a burger or something and go " mmmmm this bread tastes so goood mmmmmmmm" and then wolf it down and laugh....

[squiffy]

oh my god that is so harsh! but yeah people do that to me too, i just tell them i'm not bothered by it becuase i don't like it anyway!

[jennyj]

Even though I'm ancient(as my kids call it) I have a best friend. She is a wonderful person BUT she has no clue about celiac. She said that she would love to do my "diet" because if she could lose 30 pounds in 5 months like I have she would do it with me. I showed her a booklet I have on all the foods she couldn't eat and she said "Well I could do this but I would eat everything I wanted just in smaller portions. And I would have to keep my oatmeal, and pizza, and oh I couldn't give up my pasta, but I would do the rest with you." I just smiled and told her I appreciated her offer. We haven't started yet.

[Guest Viola]

Even though I'm ancient(as my kids call it) I have a best friend. She is a wonderful person BUT she has no clue about celiac. She said that she would love to do my "diet" because if she could lose 30 pounds in 5 months like I have she would do it with me. I showed her a booklet I have on all the foods she couldn't eat and she said "Well I could do this but I would eat everything I wanted just in smaller portions. And I would have to keep my oatmeal, and pizza, and oh I couldn't give up my pasta, but I would do the rest with you." I just smiled and told her I appreciated her offer. We haven't started yet.

I love the 'We haven't started yet'

People really are funny, and if you don't find something to laugh at, we would only have the cry part left

So... instead of being hurt, maybe we should think of some funny 'come backs'

[jkmunchkin]

Ok I'm not a teen but I saw this topic and wanted to offer support.

I actually know how you feel.

I absolutely love when my friends will try my food, and to be honest I think a lot of what helped me get through the initial rough patch when 1st becoming gluten free was having a handful of friends that would take the 1st bite for me and sit and critique new foods with me. Some of it was awful and some of it we all agreed was incredible. I remember laughing hysterically as I read and IM from my sister after she tried a gluten-free cookie she had found in a deli and the IM progressed from it's not so bad (she was trying to make me not feel bad) to by the end it was "ok I gotta be honest, this thing is G-d awful!" I loved her honesty - but I don't know how much I would have loved it if this was her reaction to everything. Just the fact that she was trying this on her own so she could let me know if it was good meant so much to me.

That said, I also have the opposite end of the spectrum. If I even offer something to my mother-in-law to try she acts like a 5 year old that you just told to try brussel sprouts. Ofcourse she isn't the only one I get this with. And that hurts. I mean none of us are doing this by choice. We are doing this because it is a life neccessity and you would think that people who love you and care about you would be supportive.

Unfortunately your friends probably think they are being funny and don't realize how much they are hurting you when they say how gross your food is. I'm hoping if you sit them down and explain to them what you are going through, that this is not a choice and that you would love for them to try stuff because it helps you cope with the transition but if they don't like the food you'd appreciate if they could react a tad bit more maturely.

[gfp]

You don't need to be a teen to have this... some people just can't accept something as basic as wheat is a problem ... it goes against everything we have been brought up to think of as staple and even in bad diets its the lettuce and bun on a burger that people make the excuse and say "well its not completely unhealthy" ...

I found when I was going gluten-free some friends were onboard and others not ... and you just can't dismiss some friends as bad friends if they don't get it... I had one really good friend who helped me through depression, when I saw a shrink I confided and he was really supportive and apologetic for nbot being there but when I started my gluten-free he just didn't get it and it took probably 2-3 years until he did. On the other hand I had not so good friends who go to all lengths to help with the diet... and they tend to be those who have experienced crippling illness themselves or someone in their family has.

Your experience is fairly common and it is just an extension of the whole world, like some waiters will be far more serious than others.

[joemoe003]

yeah i wouldnt worry about that your friends say to you about you having celiac disease. everyday for lunch i bring in carrots or other food that my friends think is gross and it doesnt stop me to bring it in they all know whats wrong with me i guess they really dont know how to react so that jus tease me sometimes it bothers me only when i get teased alot at once but i try to not let it bother me and maybe your best friend fully doesnt understand what is wrong with you but my friends probably wouldnt like ne think that i would bring in that is gluten free my they do love my gluten free peanut butter cookies!!!! if you want the reciepe (i think thats how you spell it) jus email me pippigirl32@hotmail.com and i wouldnt worry about them eatin your food they got their own food they can get save the stuff you like and can have for yourself!!! ok gotta scram

[Lenka]

hi,

first i have to apologize for my mistakes. i'm from slovenia and my english is not very well. at least not writing. i hope you'll understand me.

a was checking web for some news on celiac and found this site and start reading...and i got very angry ...

you call all these people your friends??? even your best friends??? come on! you can die if you make mistakes at diet all the time and your so called friends make fun????????

i have this deasise for 20 years now and all this time no one made fun of me...my friend go to store and by food for me, when we have party and so...

come on have some self confidence, explain them what is all about and make them understand otherwise say goodbye...

[Tina7700]

With just being diagnosed with celiacs i am really going full force with this diet and i bring in my lunches for school and am trying to get my " best friends" involved in keeping myself healthy. They are making me pretty upset bc i let them try my food and things i think are pretty good and im trying to stay positive they do nothing but knock it down and say how gross it is. Wouldnt you think that being my best friend they would be supporting me. Does anybody else experience this?

Me and my 14 year old son are Celiacs, it is very hard for him, he gets embarrassed because hes the only 8th grader taking his lunch and kids say "eww whats that" etc........... I am afraid next year he just wont eat at school,

he wont go the his football and basketball award banquets beacause they have pizza, people can be very unsensitive(sp?). He is trying to gain weight for football he drinks ensure but I havent found a gluten-free weight gainer powder drink, anyone know of any?

Thanks, Tina

[rottiloverthor]

With just being diagnosed with celiacs i am really going full force with this diet and i bring in my lunches for school and am trying to get my " best friends" involved in keeping myself healthy. They are making me pretty upset bc i let them try my food and things i think are pretty good and im trying to stay positive they do nothing but knock it down and say how gross it is. Wouldnt you think that being my best friend they would be supporting me. Does anybody else experience this?

[blueangel68]

hey im probably too late for this but i dnt carre. im goin through the same thing, the food i like my friends all hate and say itz discustn. i somthimes get annoyed at them but i keep it too myself. i just dont let them try ani ov my food animre. if theyre just gunna critisize then they can just get lost.

cya

[Liz92]

What I DESPIZE is when all of my friends wonderr why I don't eat luch at school, and when I explain to them that I can't eat school lunches because I'm Celiac they always want to know everything about everything and all. The friends I have who live near me tho, they help ALOT, and especially my best friend, she's always there vmaking gluten free cookies and we joke about how bad they are, but its all just fun and games. Friends like that really help, like my best friend and another friend of mine they try to undertand it and always makesure there is something for me to eat... its great SMILE!!!!!!!!!