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A Birthday With No Cake

ElizabethN

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ElizabethN Apprentice
ElizabethN
Posted

I'm a little bummed today. It is a tradition in our office to celebrate the birthdays each month with a cake. Which is usually a little hard for me because I happen to sit right by the spot where everyone congregates to eat the cake and socialize, and I feel really left out. Today is especially hard because I am one of the July birthdays so a few weeks ago I brought up the idea that maybe we could do something different- banana splits, so that I could participate in celebrating my birthday. Well, today is the day and they only ordered cake. When I found out no one bothered with the ice cream, I felt like crying. I was really hoping that just this once they could make an exception. So, I am going to go raid the company freezer and find my own ice cream while they all eat cake to celebrate my birthday. I know I am an adult and I shouldn't let things like this bother me, I usually do quite well with it all but every so often there comes an instance like this that is just a real challenge. My lesson learned, I think, is to bring my own next year!!

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kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

Happy birthday! And sorry you didn't get any cake. Maybe you could talk directly to the person who orders the cake and offer to order banana splits for her or pick it up or something. It's possible she just forgot and since they always do cake, there's no reason to change.

I now treat situations like this as more of a social thing rather than an eating thing. I go to socialize and hang out with people; I don't go assuming I'm going to get a snack/meal. Before I was diagnosed I didn't particularily like the cake, I just ate it because everyone else was and it was the thing to do. Now I'm able to listen to my body and eat something that I truely like when I get hungry.

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted

Birthdays without cake are tough!

My family ate a gluten filled cake and I didn't have any cake at all. I was not happy about it. For me, it wasn't about the actual cake, it was about feeling left out. It is hard to feel different, especially when you are one of the ones the celebration is for. I always used to bake for all of them, so it was hurtful that no one made me a dessert I could eat, even ice cream.

Hopefully, this gets easier with time, but my first birthday was tough. I feel for you.

lonewolf Collaborator
lonewolf
Posted

Happy Birthday! I've had many a cakeless birthday too. It's more that people didn't take the little extra time to think about you and your needs more than the lack of cake, right? I'm sorry, I've been there too. At my school (I'm a teacher) we celebrate monthly birthdays too and I'm always presented with a beautiful dessert and then someone will say something like, "Oh, you can't eat that, can you? Well, maybe one of your kids will like it." And then if someone is extra thoughtful, they'll get me an apple or something :huh: . If we lived close I'd bake you a delicious gluten-free chocolate cake - too bad you can't send one via email. Hope the rest of your day goes better!

floridanative Community Regular
floridanative
Posted
My lesson learned, I think, is to bring my own next year!!

First off - Happy Birthday (belated I guess?). I'm sorry no one thought of making sure you got something safe to eat since it was your b-day month after all. However, I find that unless you work with a bunch of people who have Celiac, this will usually be the case. So what you do (and you may not want to wait until next year) is think of something scrumptious you love - maybe Pamela's choc. chip pan bars/cookies or an ice cream dessert or pan bar with ice cream on top.....well you get the point. Just make sure it looks heavenly even to gluten eaters. Then break it out after lunch or whenever the most people are around the break room. Eat it and act like you're reaching a new height of pleasure and if anyone dares to ask if they can taste it say something like 'seriously....no! And then laugh. You don't have to be rude, you can smile all the while. Just whatever you do don't let anyone taste it. B)

penguin Community Regular
penguin
Posted

Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

floridanative Community Regular
floridanative
Posted
Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

I bow to Master Chelsea! :lol:

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ElizabethN Apprentice
ElizabethN
Posted
  • Author

Thank you all for the support! It really is more about the idea that no one thought of it than the actual cake. And wouldn't you know, that about 5 minutes after I posted that message, a coworker came back from lunch informing me that he had picked up some Blue Bunny chocolate chip for me!! I couldn't believe it! It makes feel horrible about complaining, and so thankful that there was someone who remembered. It is amazing the difference one thoughtful person can make.

Next year, I think I will bake a homemade gluten free cake and share with everyone!

taz sharratt Enthusiast
taz sharratt
Posted
Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

i like this one. happy birthday, so sorry you had no cake it sucks!

azmom3 Contributor
azmom3
Posted
Thank you all for the support! It really is more about the idea that no one thought of it than the actual cake. And wouldn't you know, that about 5 minutes after I posted that message, a coworker came back from lunch informing me that he had picked up some Blue Bunny chocolate chip for me!! I couldn't believe it! It makes feel horrible about complaining, and so thankful that there was someone who remembered. It is amazing the difference one thoughtful person can make.

Next year, I think I will bake a homemade gluten free cake and share with everyone!

I never even heard about celiac until a few weeks ago when my son's blood test came back positive, so here's some thoughts from a little bit of an outsider...I consider myself a very thoughtful person, but until you've walked in a person's shoes, you don't understand usually. for example, I'm a lot more understanding and know what things to offer to a pregnant person or a mom than I was prior to having kids. Same with any illness, condition, etc. As much as you'd like to do stuff for someone, sometimes you just don't know what to do. IN the same breath though, I know what you mean from being in another situation that was similar to yours...how bad you feel when nobody does what's so important for you (even if it's the simplest thing) and how good you feel when someone does. I would take advantage of the situation and be sure to tell the person who brought you the icecream how much it meant to you and how it's hard feeling left out, that it means so much that they took the time, etc. They will feel just as good as you about doing something good that they just might share that with others or at the very least be sure to do the same thing on the next occasion. :)

Guest southgoingzax
Guest southgoingzax
Posted

Sometimes the thoughtfulness and kindness of others can surprise us. I think, that as celiacs, we may have a more negative view of the world (at times anyway) and certainly a lot of us suffer from depression. It's important to try to have faith in the good will of others, whether they remembered to bring you something special or not - I'm sure quite a few of your co-workers wanted to get you something, but were unsure of what you could have. Thanks for posting, this has reminded me of the good and decent actions people are capable of. And YAY! for icecream!

zax

kathymacn Newbie
kathymacn
Posted
I'm a little bummed today. It is a tradition in our office to celebrate the birthdays each month with a cake. Which is usually a little hard for me because I happen to sit right by the spot where everyone congregates to eat the cake and socialize, and I feel really left out. Today is especially hard because I am one of the July birthdays so a few weeks ago I brought up the idea that maybe we could do something different- banana splits, so that I could participate in celebrating my birthday. Well, today is the day and they only ordered cake. When I found out no one bothered with the ice cream, I felt like crying. I was really hoping that just this once they could make an exception. So, I am going to go raid the company freezer and find my own ice cream while they all eat cake to celebrate my birthday. I know I am an adult and I shouldn't let things like this bother me, I usually do quite well with it all but every so often there comes an instance like this that is just a real challenge. My lesson learned, I think, is to bring my own next year!!

They have the same procedure in my office. The last Friday of every month is "birthday time". I simply stopped attending, and don't even go in my birthday month (November). I'd rather stay at my desk, get some work done, and put the whole celebration "out of sight, out of mind".

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted
I never even heard about celiac until a few weeks ago when my son's blood test came back positive, so here's some thoughts from a little bit of an outsider...I consider myself a very thoughtful person, but until you've walked in a person's shoes, you don't understand usually. for example, I'm a lot more understanding and know what things to offer to a pregnant person or a mom than I was prior to having kids. Same with any illness, condition, etc. As much as you'd like to do stuff for someone, sometimes you just don't know what to do. IN the same breath though, I know what you mean from being in another situation that was similar to yours...how bad you feel when nobody does what's so important for you (even if it's the simplest thing) and how good you feel when someone does. I would take advantage of the situation and be sure to tell the person who brought you the icecream how much it meant to you and how it's hard feeling left out, that it means so much that they took the time, etc. They will feel just as good as you about doing something good that they just might share that with others or at the very least be sure to do the same thing on the next occasion. :)

Best advice ever! Ditto a hundred times!

Lauren M Explorer
Lauren M
Posted
Thank you all for the support! It really is more about the idea that no one thought of it than the actual cake. And wouldn't you know, that about 5 minutes after I posted that message, a coworker came back from lunch informing me that he had picked up some Blue Bunny chocolate chip for me!! I couldn't believe it! It makes feel horrible about complaining, and so thankful that there was someone who remembered. It is amazing the difference one thoughtful person can make.

Next year, I think I will bake a homemade gluten free cake and share with everyone!

Aww, Happy Birthday, Elizabeth! Don't feel bad about venting earlier, I would have been upset, too (I'm very sensitive). You don't have to appologize for your feelings!

At my job, one of my coworkers who is BEYOND sweet made a flourless chocolate cake for me. It was delicious, but I must admit, I was a bit nervous to eat it since I know that baking gluten-free takes a little knowledge as far as cross-contamination, which ingredients are gluten-free, etc.

Well go enjoy your ice cream, and the rest of your day!

- Lauren

jayhawkmom Enthusiast
jayhawkmom
Posted
Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

OH, that's a great idea!!!!!

I want to wish you a very happy birthday!!! I know how you are feeling, tomorrow is my birthday - and I'm sure it'll be cakeless. And, I have to admit.... I love cake. =(

lonewolf Collaborator
lonewolf
Posted
tomorrow is my birthday - and I'm sure it'll be cakeless. And, I have to admit.... I love cake. =(

Happy birthday a day early. Can you bake? There are great recipes on this sight for white and chocolate cakes. They were just as easy as gluten filled cakes and VERY tasty. I have served both to company.

justjane Rookie
justjane
Posted

My birthday was on Sunday. It was a pretty bad birthday for me too. I just moved to a new state to be a live-in nanny with a family that I had just met on the previous Wednesday. I told them I what I could and could not have and they were feeling very overwhelmed. I told the family a few days before that it was going to be my birthday, and they didn't say happy birthday until I asked the kids, "Do you know what today is?" and then the mom and dad both said, "It's Jane's birthday!"

After that they kind of forgot about me until that night at the bbq they lite a match, shoved into a Reese's peanut butter cup, and sang me happy birthday. It was so cute and really thoughtful. The next day when we got back into town I made my own birthday cake, bought my own candles, and we all sang happy birthday. I just felt bad when I was the only one who would eat my cake (which is soooo good, thanks( Annalise Roberts!).

Good luck - we're here for you.

ehrin Explorer
ehrin
Posted

My company DID the same thing - birthday cakes and cards every month. I was asked to be on the Employee Action Committee and one of the first things I did was eliminate the birthday cakes. It was actually prior to my diagnosis - but I went around the company and asked how everyone felt about it and they agreed that it's more of a pain in the hiney than anything. So that was that - no more cakes! Now...if I could only get rid of donuts on the last day of each month. Trust me, I tried - I tried to substitute it with fruit - but it didn't go over too well, as I'm sure you can imagine. ;)

You could try the same approach - you might be surprised at how many people truly don't care about a monthly birthday cake!

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

I haven't had a cake for my birthday in... about 22 years. I hate cake. Well, I hate most birthday cakes. There are a handful of cakes that don't suck, but mostly, cakes aren't worth it. :-) Give me a big ol' bowl of strawberries instead!

I'm glad someone did get you something, and the idea of bringing a gluten-free cake to share sounds great!

ElizabethN Apprentice
ElizabethN
Posted
  • Author
OH, that's a great idea!!!!!

I want to wish you a very happy birthday!!! I know how you are feeling, tomorrow is my birthday - and I'm sure it'll be cakeless. And, I have to admit.... I love cake. =(

Happy Birthday to you too!! If you have a store nearby that you can grab this at, you should try to find a Gluten Free Pantry Brownie Mix. They are SOOO good and easy to make- with a few candles and some frosting they just might be a suitable cake replacement!

The ice cream tasted great, by the way. It was gone way before the cake. I suspect most people wouldn't mind if we did away with the whole thing- we already have donuts every friday, birthday lunches, the cake- sometimes it just gets to be too much.

TinkerbellSwt Collaborator
TinkerbellSwt
Posted

I love Chelseas idea!!! WTG... btw.. Happy Birthday... its really a lousy feeling to be left out. Its not about the eating.. its being left out... I am thinking about banana splits now myself.. hhhmmmmmm..

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