The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

Gah!!!! Omg gnih-keyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! Only the 2nd time I've had to look up a word (non-medical) seen in this forum!!

You sly minx u!

I see that this Queen of the Iceni tribe is called "the first British heroine".

So I'll label this bit of yankee ignorance excuseable once again. (Hehe ya, don't think I'm not keeping track! )

Well done Tom

okay - - update - - so NO date!!!! he's coming over here for my famous mojitos, as any casual, nice neighbor would. Susie is feeling pretty good about it. Didn't want the poor sot to take me to dinner and feel, you know, ripped off or something.

The Stepford wives have much curtain twitching to do

are those people in the cupboard under the stairs putting drugs in your (microwaved) tea again???

Might be ...makes me more creative..

...and NEVER microwaved!!!..OMG ..the horror!! (you mistake me for our friendly Canuck)

*I* am a tea snob ...and would NEVER do such a heinous thing!

it has nothing to do with the chest, only the hair.

OH THANK GAWD!!!

No, she thinks those are your real teeth and fake boobs!

Nikki thinks Carla is in fine fettle today too!!

Ha! SUSIE LOOKS HOT!!!!!

Poor sweet Bev - battling bugs - you simply MUST try my tea luv

[DingoGirl]

I just say don't put it past a guy who's willing to deliver some drink to an empty porch & slink away like a servant.

INdeed! He's already confessed he's going to get an expensive bottle of wine......after I told him about the mojitos. So he's bringing the wine AND the white rum.

(continuing to hydrate and eat, here, though I know it'll be one or the other, not rum AND wine - - - ugh, feeling queasy just thinking about that).

But I am SURE he won't bring flowers tonight......I've already gotten him out of "date" mode and into friendly neighbors" mode.

And get your minds out of the gutter, peeps. we ain't gonna be THAT friendly.

Thaugm, what is with the marbles and jar thing..........oh do tell us.

[CarlaB]

Okay, just called hubby, he has NO IDEA what Tom is talking about. Yes, really Tom, he would tell me ... even if he wouldn't, he's a bad liar and after 22 years I know him well enough to know when he's hiding something due to man-law.

Hmm, wonder if it'll come up on a Google search?

Susie, male friends who are just friends are a lot of fun. I hope it goes well tonight. A bottle of wine sounds real ... flowers did not. Be sure you also EAT! You have to eat to drink!

Oh, Nikki, a woman from New Zealand taught me to make a proper cup of tea. In the winter, I drink a lot of it.

[Jestgar]

You know, if you're NOT nice to them, they stick around. If you want to get rid of a man, try treating him like you like him.

[tom]

no no, no obligation with a dinner date....and guys never expect anything.

For women and men in general, there is anecdotal evidence to the contrary.

I *really* want this guy to be my friend.......but he's already over-excited.....I just had to have a chat with him and calm him a bit.

Hehe PerplexerSpice . . . . .

<sally said WHAT?!!>

[CarlaB]

Okay, the marble story came up with a Google search -- If you put a marble in a jar every time you and your wife have sex during the first year of marriage, and then take one out every time after the first year. You will never empty the jar.

Umm, Tom, we ran out of marbles a LONG time ago!!! Let's just say, things are better now than they've ever been. There's a reason I'm so spoiled.

I don't get these women who have laundry lists of things their husbands should be doing but aren't, yet the women aren't doing the ONE thing on the hubby's list! This is what I tell my women friends who ask me our secret.

[nikki-uk]

Oh, Nikki, a woman from New Zealand taught me to make a proper cup of tea. In the winter, I drink a lot of it

''a women from New Zealand!!!!!'' BAH!!!!! ...(tea snob here) but it ain't ENGLISH!!!!!!!

You know, if you're NOT nice to them, they stick around. If you want to get rid of a man, try treating him like you like him.

Nice, like it, good advice

[DingoGirl]

Well isn't it getting SAUCY and FUN on teh Silly Yak thread today!!!!

You know, if you're NOT nice to them, they stick around. If you want to get rid of a man, try treating him like you like him.

:lol:

BRAVO, Jess. I am telling you, TRUER words have never been spoken. When I am presently, NOT LOOKING for a relationship, I have to hit them off with a stick. When I was a young, fertile, GLUTEN-BRAIN looking for a man to take care of me, I was a psycho magnet :lol:

For women and men in general, there is anecdotal evidence to the contrary.

Not with me. I am TOO MUCH WORK to just have a fling. There are FAR easier women to go after if a man just wants something quick and easy.

I don't get these women who have laundry lists of things their husbands should be doing but aren't, yet the women aren't doing the ONE thing on the hubby's list! This is what I tell my women friends who ask me our secret.

Woo-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I could not agree more. And so, I've always thought, that in addition to finding someone you genuinely LIKE, you have got to LIKE doing that ONE thing with them. Brilliant!

OMG Nikki - - the Stepfords - indeed - - - except he's WALKING over and there will be no car in front to around suspicion. I like it like that.

[CarlaB]

''a women from New Zealand!!!!!'' BAH!!!!! ...(tea snob here) but it ain't ENGLISH!!!!!!!

So, how do you make tea differently than New Zealanders??? I know we Americans don't have a clue how to make tea, but I thought I was in the know now!

[nikki-uk]

So, how do you make tea differently than New Zealanders??? I know we Americans don't have a clue how to make tea, but I thought I was in the know now!

It's quite tricky ...

Boil kettle, put t-bag in cup, pour water, stir et voila!

No.no I jest

Really should be tea leaves (not t- bags) with a tea pot.

Warm the pot (with a small amount of boiled water) by slushing round the pot and pouring it out.

Put tea leaves in and pour boiling water over them.

Put a 'tea cosy' over the tea pot whilst brewing.

How long you brew is up to you!!

*I* don't have milk and currently am drinking Earl Grey with a dash of Lemon gawd!! - sounds like a cocktail!!

[CarlaB]

Okay, Nikki, I assure you, I know how to make tea ... before we moved (I'll be able to do this again after we remodel our kitchen, we'll start when the cabinets get in in 10 weeks), I heat up my teapot on my Aga rather than the swishing the water method. I actually keep my teacups there so they're always warm. I use tea bags because I'm lazy, but not crummy tea, only the good stuff.

Trust me, it would be impossible to be snobbier than the lady from NZ .

I CAN"T wait for my new kitchen ... I miss my Aga.

Oh, and I know that milk only goes in the black or green teas NOT the herbal teas!

[tom]

Didn't want the poor sot to take me to dinner and feel, you know, ripped off or something.

no no, no obligation with a dinner date....and guys never expect anything.

Hey there Dingy - how do you reconcile these two seemingly conflicting statements?

(hmmmmm let me take a stab - one's a joke and the other's an illusion?) D'oh!!

[DingoGirl]

I CAN"T wait for my new kitchen ... I miss my Aga.

Um, WHAT is an Aga? is that like a Sherpa? or someone with royal lineage that stays in your kitchen? like, The Aga Khan? (though it might be spelled Agah? can't remember and too lazy to search - Tom will do it)

Hey there Dingy - how do you reconcile these two seemingly conflicting statements?

(hmmmmm let me take a stab - one's a joke and the other's an illusion?) D'oh!!

I don't know

I am dehydrated, have been loading up with water but - - it was too hot - - and my brain is baked - - and I feel - - - sick, actually - - - Waiting for this to pass.........

The funniest thing of all - - - having him over for our "first date" - - I've had ENTIRE relationships in which the guy never knew where I lived - - well - almost - - I ALWAYS ALWAYS meet men out somewhere for the first several dates, unless someone I know knows them - - some men, never made it to Susie's house EVER.

So - - I think it's terribly funny that he not only KNOWS where I live, but is my NEIGHBOR here in Stepford, and is coming over for our first get-together.

Somehow, it seemed more casual and less threatening than having him pick me up, ride in the car, and go to dinner?

Dingy brain can't explain it.

I just know that - since I did yard work today - - back is too sore to rent the shampooer, and so I had to call him and tell him that the carpet would STINK and have SPOTS on it.

(like he cares)

...and TONIGHT's SPECIAL - - -

BAKED DINGO BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol:

[tom]

INdeed! He's already confessed he's going to get an expensive bottle of wine......after I told him about the mojitos. So he's bringing the wine AND the white rum.

AND a gift . .. LOL

But I am SURE he won't bring flowers tonight......I've already gotten him out of "date" mode and into friendly neighbors" mode.

Friendly neighbors bring everyday wine.

Thaugm, what is with the marbles and jar thing..........oh do tell us.

No can do, sault-tse.

Susie, male friends who are just friends are a lot of fun. I hope it goes well tonight.

I have had LOADS of fun w/ female friends! (whoa - does right now also count?)

In spite of what looks like a potential train-wreck, I too wish you luck tonight.

Okay, the marble story came up with a Google search -- If you put a marble in a jar every time you and your wife have sex during the first year of marriage, and then take one out every time after the first year. You will never empty the jar.

Umm, Tom, we ran out of marbles a LONG time ago!!! Let's just say, things are better now than they've ever been. There's a reason I'm so spoiled.

:lol:

That's but one version of a marble story. The gist is certainly there.

[CarlaB]

That's but one version of a marble story. The gist is certainly there.

Your version may be true.

Susan, Nikki will know what an Aga is ... Tom will not.

I agree that it sounds more casual.

Tom, so no dating for almost a decade? Is this going to change now that you're feeling better?

[elye]

...I'm outta marbles...

...I microwave my tea...

...I'm not a regular receiver of flowers (of ANY kind)...sigh...

...An aga?...hmm..this is what our Iranian grocery clerk wears on her head, perhaps?

Gee, just reading this, I'm beginning to feel as bad as poor Bev does.

Susan, your teeth look very real. The boobs? We'll have to ask Tom. That's man territory. I, as well, always had trouble keeping a boob tube up. Sigh.....

[CarlaB]

Susan, your teeth look very real.

I think Susan changed the picture she had up ... the one she had up for a while was the girl who dates the guy in your avatar. We weren't commenting on that GREAT picture of her!!

[Jestgar]

Whine....

I can't believe they actually expect me to work now that I'm back from vacation. Here it, 5:30, and I'm trying to decide what would be the most useful thing to take home and work on.

Keep up the humor. I'm using it to get me through this "expectations" phase of my boss.

PS. AGA! is what I say when I finally understand what a confusing experiment is telling me.

[CarlaB]

They expect you to WORK??? I'd find a new job ... FAST!

[DingoGirl]

...I'm outta marbles...

...I microwave my tea...

...I'm not a regular receiver of flowers (of ANY kind)...sigh...

...An aga?...hmm..this is what our Iranian grocery clerk wears on her head, perhaps?

Gee, just reading this, I'm beginning to feel as bad as poor Bev does.

Bah! can't be! you're doing just fine and fitting in FRIGHTENINGLY well!!!!

Whine....

I can't believe they actually expect me to work now that I'm back from vacation. Here it, 5:30, and I'm trying to decide what would be the most useful thing to take home and work on.

Keep up the humor. I'm using it to get me through this "expectations" phase of my boss.

PS. AGA! is what I say when I finally understand what a confusing experiment is telling me.

BAH again! Work? the hell you say!!! He'll get over his damn expectations.

They expect you to WORK??? I'd find a new job ... FAST!

Indeed!

gotta keep cleaning. Good thing I don't care if this guy likes me or not, because, close inspection and scrutiny might reveal.....a subtle but nearly tangible dye-mension of squalor.

[elye]

I think Susan changed the picture she had up ... the one she had up for a while was the girl who dates the guy in your avatar. We weren't commenting on that GREAT picture of her!!

Ahhh, I missed the funny picture! Put it back up, wouldja, Susan? WHAT girl that dates the guy in my avatar? Curiouser and curiouser...

[CarlaB]

Ahhh, I missed the funny picture! Put it back up, wouldja, Susan? WHAT girl that dates the guy in my avatar? Curiouser and curiouser...

Well, I was just judging by her appearance ...

[DingoGirl]

Well, I was just judging by her appearance ...

*********************

OMG OMG - - I feel sick - - This whole dating thing - - or things that SMACK of dating - - makes me almost physically ill.

That's why I"m not really involved in it any more.

ugh......................................

and if it's not a date, and I don't really care, then why do I feel like throwing UP???

[tom]

*********************

OMG OMG - - I feel sick - - This whole dating thing - - or things that SMACK of dating - - makes me almost physically ill.

ugh......................................

and if it's not a date, and I don't really care, then why do I feel like throwing UP???

Oh Susan . . . . ..

I've had my chuckles poking fun at the "non-date" today, but if I may be so bold it's time I switch gears and . . . . . well . . .. .let's say "parrot the type of things a friend might say".

#1 - no matter what he's said, there's still a "1st date" auditioning aspect to tonight for him. No doubt, even w/ just the handful of sentences today.

#2 - if u do see him as a potential male friend, there's just one shot to keep that as a possibility. Nip It In The Bud!! (Barney Fife says "NipIt!!")

Very few options remain at this point.

Best shot would've been rescheduling the original Date to a new night, as a non-date.

He's been thinking about his Date (w/ "the most beautiful girl he's ever known"(met? No time to look) ) since it was made.

Now the options are: cancel tonight and resched, or have the talk BEFORE he's even thru the door. I am NOT kidding.

Maybe the "expensive wine" should not cross the threshold, unless it's too good to pass up drinking immed hehe. But you're better off leaving the wine on the porch, if not at his house.

Ugh too many things to say.

FerPete'sSake close your bedroom door.

Don't wear perfume or extra jewelry. Wear something comfortable, and whose obvious purpose is comfort, like what u wore when u met him. Not "date" clothes.

Re: Squalor mentioned somewhere - bah, he's far more concerned w/ what you're wearing and whether any aspect of its "easily-removeable-ness" is intentional.

<around 3/4 left out, gotta eat>

Just so many things keep a guy's mind on 'I want her' more than 'I like her'.

Hope your stomach settles soon.

[DingoGirl]

OH Tom.....

BAH!! all your theories are out the door!!

It was DEFINITELY a DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and there's another one tomorrow!!!!!!!!! (no, it's not what any of you salacious goobs think, it was very wholesome)....

I cannot recall anyone so - - - - ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot recall a more enjoyable, effortless, evening.

Holy crap, holy crap, HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am flummoxed and gobsmackingly confused. Trust me.

LAST THING on earth I expected.

OMG stay tuned for further updates.

Just TRUST ME, I could not be more confused and smacked between the eyes about anythign in my ENTIRE PALTRY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: