The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Aaaaahhhh, something so...wait, now, as an adequate word is failing me...astonishing, and marvelous, happened to me last evening, and does have a somewhat stretched connection to all of this. I shlepped up to the mall to get stamps and diabetes meds, dragging along my unhappy nine year-old. No lingering canine stench, but grime from cleaning, complete absence of makeup, etc. Diabetes control has been uncharacteristically eluding me the last few days, and boy, it shows through my entire being. So, there I am, trying to get through the mall. My son has me stop at the pet store window to stare at the kittens...and this man, probably forty...resembles a young Harrison Ford...is suddenly standing beside me. He says "I must tell you something. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Pardon me, but I had to tell you". Whoa!! I cannot ever remember being at a loss for words, but there it was. My son stared at him like he was Charles Manson.

And he walked away! Smiling, a little wave, and he was gone.

Man, did I need that! I keep thinking I should have been looking over my shoulder. I can't remember anything like that happening to me. Actually, maybe it was a dream...it was pretty late in the evening...

[nikki-uk]

You mean talking the talk? Being a cunning linguist?

Cheeky play on words there Ptaum

Aaaaahhhh, something so...wait, now, as an adequate word is failing me...astonishing, and marvelous, happened to me last evening, and does have a somewhat stretched connection to all of this. I shlepped up to the mall to get stamps and diabetes meds, dragging along my unhappy nine year-old. No lingering canine stench, but grime from cleaning, complete absence of makeup, etc. Diabetes control has been uncharacteristically eluding me the last few days, and boy, it shows through my entire being. So, there I am, trying to get through the mall. My son has me stop at the pet store window to stare at the kittens...and this man, probably forty...resembles a young Harrison Ford...is suddenly standing beside me. He says "I must tell you something. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Pardon me, but I had to tell you". Whoa!! I cannot ever remember being at a loss for words, but there it was. My son stared at him like he was Charles Manson.

And he walked away! Smiling, a little wave, and he was gone.

Man, did I need that! I keep thinking I should have been looking over my shoulder. I can't remember anything like that happening to me. Actually, maybe it was a dream...it was pretty late in the evening...

OMG EMILY you little stunner you!!!....of COURSE it happened!!!....EXCELLENT!!!

*sigh* - damn, haven't had a ego boost in years (unless I count when the town drunk shouted 'ello darlin', you're a pretty girl' some weeks ago...but it would have been so much better had he been sober when he said it )

BTW are your eyes green??

[nikki-uk]

PINCH< PUNCH, first day of the month!!!!!

[CarlaB]

It's not like she'll ever end up in this forum AND crack the code that reveals my acct name!!!

So, Tom is not your real name?

I can't remember anything like that happening to me. Actually, maybe it was a dream...it was pretty late in the evening...

How fun!

Cheeky play on words there Ptaum

Yeah, that one didn't go by me either. Perhaps if he wasn't such a master debater he would have found a woman by now.

[tom]

Yeah, that one didn't go by me either. Perhaps if he wasn't such a master debater he would have found a woman by now.

Hehehehehe Tip of the Hat to Carla

But "by now"?!!

Only started lookin' last night! (She had a bit of a Julia Stiles look to her & grew up in SJ! mmmm)

[CarlaB]

But "by now"?!!

Well, I was looking for a guy when I was about 18. Met hubby at 18 ... he was the second guy I dated ... dated three guys total.

[nikki-uk]

Perhaps if he wasn't such a master debater he would have found a woman by now.

Tom...all talk - no action?????

[elye]

Eyes are an "extreme" blue (have heard this word used throughout my life...bizarre).

Well, if Tom is, in fact, a master debator, and does a fair amount of...debating...(he does on this thread, I would say)...the need, perhaps, just isn't there for a female counterpart to share in the said debates.

Just got this great email from my DH:

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100 . People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

[tom]

Tom- I SEE YOU!!!!!!!!

<tom peeks thru shrubbery and rises slightly for brief wave> Caught again!!

Oh, and after posting a couple times on my phone, yes, I can understand having one word answers!

Sidekick keybd better.

And he walked away! Smiling, a little wave, and he was gone.

"Stretched connection"??? Was I supposed to be posting only the connectable? LOL! Not in THIS thread!!

And there's a direct connection anyway!

This week, ANY story w/ the phrase "lingering canine stench" tossed in, has to be fair game. ("fairly gamey" will also suffice!)

Cheeky play on words there Ptaum

Oh if only it weren't from a Bond film . . . . .

PINCH< PUNCH, first day of the month!!!!!

Blimey! What to make of such balderdash!?

Well, I was looking for a guy when I was about 18. Met hubby at 18 ... he was the second guy I dated ... dated three guys total.

Tom...all talk - no action?????

OK, disregarding that perhaps Marbles' oh-so-subtle beatdown slipped by, I'm WAY too unfamiliar w/ this position!

I haven't been 'single & looking' since 1990!!

That was when I moved 70mi from Salinas to the South Bay. (whoa just remembered that both Amy & Doreen used to come up to visit at first)

(Love that part of 101 that was in Vertigo!! - south of Gilroy heading downhill surrounded by towering eucalyptus. Mmmmmmm just lemme smell it! <hehe spike lee quote>)

After Teresa (mom to Nic&Nat of TickleTom fame), it was too easy.

Step off stage and talk to girls who I already know like LIVE music, and not all the time, but regularly enough, by the time the next set ended they'd already written their ph number on something!!

<tom was so spoiled!>

Wow I've taken up about 50x the space I'd ever expect to on my dating history.

[Jestgar]

Wow I've taken up about 50x the space I'd ever expect to on my dating history.

ummm, yeah.

But I think the dingo started it...

[CarlaB]

Sidekick keybd better.

iPhone is keyed well, I just can't use all ten fingers to type. I can't type any faster on my computer only using two fingers than I can on the iPhone.

[DingoGirl]

go by me either. Perhaps if he wasn't such a master debater he would have found a woman by now.

Good one :lol:

Wow I've taken up about 50x the space I'd ever expect to on my dating history.

....and this surprises us becaussssssssssssssee.......?

ummm, yeah.

But I think the dingo started it...

WHAT? who? did what?

Hah. Dingy didn't start with the dating history, now did she. Dingy is talking about PRESENT dating (which, BTW, last night's date was SUPERB - - the most fantastic dinner at a nearby lovely bistro, and the waiter was a kindred spirit - wheat-intolerant - and I AM NOT REMOTELY SICK TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

OMG - - too tired to play - - and just found out a long-lost cousin is in town today - - - AND have to make a fabulous piece of jewelry and get in the mail tomorrow for a friend's wife - - and have no idea what to do - - - -

susie is confused. Dating is hard on me. Disrupts my mundane, quiet, tiny little life.

EMILY - - - fabulous encounter at the mall. A girl just needs that now and then, eh?

[tom]

....and this surprises us becaussssssssssssssee.......?

Hehe I didn't mean surprising length as much as the topic. I bet I've never told any one person such history.

But, hehehe, I do realize that my near-future dating will be like a live-rounds minefield on day1 of bootcamp.

It's been for-freakin-ever . . . . .

I don't yet even usually remember to get a glance at the ring finger. And I can't tell ages for squat . . . .doubt I want to bother w/ more than . . . 10? 7? yrs younger?. How old are the oldest of the Nintendo generation I wonder? Maybe x yrs older than THAT.

Yeah girls I'm officially acknowledging that I may be asking stupid and/or pathetic questions (haha yes 'more than usual') from time to time.

And lmao, as the epitome of 'things that go w/out saying', feel free to mercilessly tease me while answering stupid Qs.

SoozeeQueue's Willow Glen friend know any mid-40s single funny smart music fans?? NO no no *waaayyyyy* too early for that!!!

<omg I heard the song suzyQ in car yesterday - did *not* remember the guit solo being so horribly sloppy and amateurish. bleh. I should've switched stations after the chorus>

. . . Dingy is talking about PRESENT dating (which, BTW, last night's date was SUPERB - - the most fantastic dinner at a nearby lovely bistro, . . . .

I need DETAILS!!!!! LOL no not the date!!

Gimme a "porn for celiacs" fix!! What fabulous gluten-free gastronomic delights did u enjoy??!!!!!

[elye]

Porn for celiacs...this suddenly reminds me of a large, unforgettable section of the notorious Altoids thread. We shall never see the equal to it, I'm sure...

[nikki-uk]

Blimey! What to make of such balderdash!?

Tis a British tradition I slipped in Open Original Shared Link

I haven't been 'single & looking' since 1990!!

That was when I moved 70mi from Salinas to the South Bay. (whoa just remembered that both Amy & Doreen used to come up to visit at first)

(Love that part of 101 that was in Vertigo!! - south of Gilroy heading downhill surrounded by towering eucalyptus. Mmmmmmm just lemme smell it! <hehe spike lee quote>)

After Teresa (mom to Nic&Nat of TickleTom fame), it was too easy.

Step off stage and talk to girls who I already know like LIVE music, and not all the time, but regularly enough, by the time the next set ended they'd already written their ph number on something!!

<tom was so spoiled!>

Wow I've taken up about 50x the space I'd ever expect to on my dating history.

Concise version:

Tom had lots of opportunities with lots of groupies hanging around

BTW were Amy & Doreen hot love interests or dear aunts of yours??

[nikki-uk]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

These are fantastic!!!!

[tom]

Tom had lots of opportunities with lots of groupies hanging around

Oh NikkiNikkinikkinikkinikki I was speaking of easily *meeting* women.

I was almost entirely a serial monogamist. Aren't most ppl really?

BTW were Amy & Doreen hot love interests or dear aunts of yours??

"Do I have to take this Q seriously?"

<do I need to remind u you're under oath?>

"Oath shmoath, that's not even a Bible!!"

<sure it is>

"I can SEE the binding! It says Socioeconomic Impact of ABBA in Eastern Europe: The Early Years!!!"

<just answer the damned question before I read it to u!>

it was a transition period. Loved Amy. Doreen made trouble at work.

[elye]

How prophetic...Amy means "beloved" and Doreen is a very negative Irish name signifying moodiness or darkness. Fitting? Methinks...

[tom]

How prophetic...Amy means "beloved" and Doreen is a very negative Irish name signifying moodiness or darkness. Fitting? Methinks...

Like OJ's gloves before pre-court laundry!

Wow Emily !

Plucking obscure (well, to me) yet perfectly pertinent facts = big LOL outta me!!

[elye]

Methinks these gloves DO fit...

Yes, it's a rather arcane, useless fascination I've developed and nurtured over the years for the histological stories behind names. Old English and Germanic lore have their own special kind of magic. Who's my hero?

The wyf of Bath, but of course!

[Mtndog]

<tom peeks thru shrubbery and rises slightly for brief wave> Caught again!!

OK- I know I've been out of the loop for a few days but I cannot resist this:

Ahem...(clears throat...exactly whose shrubbery were you in being a cunning linguist? Or perhaps your OWN shrubbery being a master debater?

At any rate, You, my friend, were caught RED-Handed in shrubbery :lol: :lol:

[tom]

OK- I know I've been out of the loop for a few days but I cannot resist this:

Ahem...(clears throat...exactly whose shrubbery were you in being a cunning linguist? Or perhaps your OWN shrubbery being a master debater?

At any rate, You, my friend, were caught RED-Handed in shrubbery :lol: :lol:

LMAO!!

<singsong voice> Beh-evs fee-lin beh-eh-ter!!

I errr . .. . It just needed a little trim is all!

P.S. I'm just glad u didn't change my "brief wave" to mean "waving my briefs"!!

[DingoGirl]

Porn for celiacs...this suddenly reminds me of a large, unforgettable section of the notorious Altoids thread. We shall never see the equal to it, I'm sure...

why NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! "porn" for Celiacs is food, my dear. I watch the Food Channel, and I call it Celiac Porn Network.......utter torture....but still fun, somehow?

OK- I know I've been out of the loop for a few days but I cannot resist this:

Ahem...(clears throat...exactly whose shrubbery were you in being a cunning linguist? Or perhaps your OWN shrubbery being a master debater?

At any rate, You, my friend, were caught RED-Handed in shrubbery :lol: :lol:

OMG - - - now we ARE going to get in trouble! CHILDREN!!! Behave thyselves!! if Scott happens to read THOSE POSTS we are BUSTED and SHUT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And BEV is a moderator, to boot!

(Tom - PLEEEEZ don't take this as encouragement to keep going....)

[tom]

why NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! "porn" for Celiacs is food, my dear. I watch the Food Channel, and I call it Celiac Porn Network.......utter torture....but still fun, somehow?

no details on a "fabulous" gluten-free bistro dinner?

I wasn't kidding!! (Maybe it was fab but kinda boring to write about)

I've never found cooking shows tortuous. America's Test Kitchen still #1, but I also see at least a bit of FoodNetwork more days than not.

OMG - - - now we ARE going to get in trouble! CHILDREN!!! Behave thyselves!! if Scott happens to read THOSE POSTS we are BUSTED and SHUT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And BEV is a moderator, to boot!

(Tom - PLEEEEZ don't take this as encouragement to keep going....)

<confused stammer> how the. . . ....... .. . .. why would . . .... ... .. . . .what could ma. ... . ..

GAH!!!!! How can anyone think a possible SHUTDOWN would en-flippin-courage me??

<dingy - why, whateva do u mean?>

tom<<---------------------------befuddled

My 1st thought upon seeing the word "BUSTED" was to run back and edit!!

I'm still a relative newbie compared to everyone I post w/ - why'd none of the rest of u put up the "Thin Ice" sign?

Wait a sec - how many moderators have read/posted this stuff anyway?

[nikki-uk]

Methinks these gloves DO fit...

Yes, it's a rather arcane, useless fascination I've developed and nurtured over the years for the histological stories behind names. Old English and Germanic lore have their own special kind of magic. Who's my hero?

The wyf of Bath, but of course!

How raunchy!!!

....and we KNOW what Bev's name means in old English!