The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[DingoGirl]

Four.

:lol:

Last night I ate half a container of Trader Joe's licorice Scottie Dogs. today there could be as many as 10.

Good morning, Sillies.....

I think my grand total yesterday was 3. We aren't a farty bunch, are we? This is because we are a healthy bunch. We did not get an official count from Bev...she of machine-gun calibre....

No, not a farty bunch. Any longer. Sheesh, it was a bit obnoxious in the first few months being gluten-free, though.....I was dairy intolerant for a while. Dang, those were some big 'uns.

I missed you this morning too Em,

See this morning we had some very unexpected ice and that happened during the mornign commute making the roads a literal ice skating rink, cars sliding all over the place. We live 15 minutes from work, we left the house at 7:30 and I got to my desk at 9...the roads are terrible! Accidents everywhere. We had a few close calls with cars almost hitting us. John was driving luckily. I was sitting there shaking...not because I was cold. Everyone was getting stuck no traction....Nightmare I tell you, Nightmare!

OMG - if I lived in this type of weather, I would just stay home. call in sick every day, not kidding......what makes people think they should be driving in these conditions? should be a national law, no driving on snow days.

Conclusion: Dogs are men in little fur coats.

Janet - excellent.

Also - LOVE your av. Obviously the work of your son.

I'm SO excited....

We've booked a HUGE, rustic, lovely chalet/condo for our skiing/falling trip in the Laurentians. There is room for twelve in this place, and we'll be nine total, so a bunch of you can come and crash on the couches. Huge, outdoor hot tub, games room with pool table, huge stone fireplace, 50" satellite TV, enormous kitchen, four baths.....

I cannot wait.

However, I am not a downhill skier...so I shall make perhaps one attempt, and then lie in the hot tub, snowshoe through the woods, and drink wine...

YOU GUYS HAVE TO COME!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<hand waving frantically> Yes, yes, I"ll be there Em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um, where are the Laurentians? Sounds terribly posh................

OMG - mammogram today. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smash my poor, wee boobies into metal places........... Egregious, as we all know.

OMG - someone added me as his/her friend - I'm his/her only one - and I don't know this person......... 'tis........a curious thing.

[elye]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<hand waving frantically> Yes, yes, I"ll be there Em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um, where are the Laurentians? Sounds terribly posh................

Okay, Susie's in!! Are you as poor a downhiller as I am? (I am prepared to be very embarrassed...I'll be the only one who cannot go swooping rhythmically down these perilous hills). Think Bridget Jones....screaming her way down...

OMG - someone added me as his/her friend - I'm his/her only one - and I don't know this person......... 'tis........a curious thing.

....I think it was my dad......

Damn him...up to his ol' tricks.......

[blueeyedmanda]

Susie-

The worst part was that it was supposed to be warm today, I don't remember them calling for rain/snow/ice. Our sidewalks and the parking lot at our house seemed fine...Once you left our development it went downhill fast. The schools didn't ahve time to delay or cancel so they were stuck where they were. I found out 2 people on the other side of our office were in accidents, not hurt but the one's car is totaled.

Our hospital has issued an internal disaster meaning that due to a large volume of accident victims and trauma's coming in our ER needs help. So traumas are coming from other hospitals, we are a level 3 trauma center so we can get the worst of the worst. So they are triaging in the hall and stuff down that way...its a zoo!

[Judyin Philly]

Gosh Amanda

So glad you and John are ok.

So your in Hersey......Right?

I don't think we had ice here in Media.........

I hate those trama meetings............i bet your place is in total chaios by now.

Our medical library was the 'hub' so i know how frantic it can be......esp with all the surgeions and drs beepers going off .

Stay well.............and keep staring down the 'PUNKS'

HOPE ALL WENT WELL LAST NITE SO JOHN DIDN'T HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE........DID HE

STAY WELL.........JUDY

[jerseyangel]

OMG things are getting VERY STRANGE HERE IN 'TICKLE VILLE'

I think we passed strange a long time ago

Four.

Gawd. I was doing quite well yesterday.....until after dinner

No, really I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup, sure we believe you, Ms. Machine Gun

See this morning we had some very unexpected ice and that happened during the mornign commute making the roads a literal ice skating rink,

Wow, Amanda--we didn't have anything like that here--the roads have been dry, although it is just starting to rain. Our pond is starting to ice over somewhat, too.

We've booked a HUGE, rustic, lovely chalet/condo for our skiing/falling trip in the Laurentians.

Sounds absolutely heavenly I'd love to come....can you imagine if the whole group of us decended on you

[blueeyedmanda]

Gosh Amanda

So glad you and John are ok.

So your in Hersey......Right?

I don't think we had ice here in Media.........

I hate those trama meetings............i bet your place is in total chaios by now.

Our medical library was the 'hub' so i know how frantic it can be......esp with all the surgeions and drs beepers going off .

Stay well.............and keep staring down the 'PUNKS'

HOPE ALL WENT WELL LAST NITE SO JOHN DIDN'T HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE........DID HE

STAY WELL.........JUDY

He didn't call the cops, which was nice

John and I both work at the Hershey Med Center, which is huge but keeps growing as we speak

[tom]

Oh the hilarity!!!!!

I take a day off due to a personal deArth of silly and miss a frenzy!

OMG - forgot to tell you guys that when I was little, I, um, decided I knew what different types of farts look like.........and I used to draw them.

Suddenly, newly & strangely feeling like I was a normal child.

Zipper-y rat-a-tat ones

1. Was I abducted by aliens and subject to ...uh, you know...EXAMS?

2. Did someone send the yeti to cuddle with me last night? If you answewr yes, please explain WHY you forgot to trim his claws? OUCH!

Any new info? New claw-print on adjacent buttock perhaps?

I had a thought about Bev's arse scratches....Bev, maybe you scratched yourself while you were asleep. Seriously, I do that when my eye allergies act up

Patti claws her bum when her eyes itch?

. .. . we made up some "D" rhymes of our own, so over time we published our own little book...with 100 little notes to that song....

Must finish catching up later .. .

Off to WhF now!

[jerseyangel]

John and I both work at the Hershey Med Center, which is huge but keeps growing as we speak

I've seen that place--it's gigantic!

[nikki-uk]

Alex, how exciting. Another wedding for the silly crowd to celebrate.

WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Congrats to Alex and partner

Oh dear GAWD!!!!!!!!!............COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!...... and y'all having a bowel complaint an' all ...pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!

6.33pm (guestimate) 15 or MORE

Ok, ok, maybe the 'benfibRE' powder has had a hand in this

Uncle Ray

Can someone American vote for him please???.....is he into politics???

However, I am not a downhill skier...so I shall make perhaps one attempt, and then lie in the hot tub, snowshoe through the woods, and drink wine...

YOU GUYS HAVE TO COME!!!

When are we going???

Last night I ate half a container of Trader Joe's licorice Scottie Dogs. today there could be as many as 10.

PAH!!!! ...Amateur

OMG - mammogram today. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smash my poor, wee boobies into metal places........... Egregious, as we all know.

Never had one...but send my regards to your poor squished boobies

[blueeyedmanda]

When I pig out I go to town, chocolate covered gummi bears.....my weakness!

[Green12]

6.33pm (guestimate) 15 or MORE

Well you are passing your gas on behalf of England Nikki, your numbers are expected to be a little higher

[blueeyedmanda]

And when you pass gas for England by all means curtsey at the end too...and remember to excuse your bum! Be polite about it LOL

[tom]

Emily's stubborn trapezoids!!

<yikes! a bit of a sphincter test at WhF and on the ride home. Surely not herculean, but quite a relief to be home nonetheless>

(w/ the fabulous and deeply-missed late comedian whose wife killed him - forgot his name.)

Ahhh yes .. . . Phil Hartman?

1st thought is to "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy"

Here's the one that always comes to mind.

"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."

Found a site w/ a gazillion. Open Original Shared Link

Barely read 5% so far, but bumped into a couple gems before finding that site.

God's Tears

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.'

And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did."

ROFL

"I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long.

Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint."

[jerseyangel]

<yikes! a bit of a sphincter test at WhF and on the ride home.

Hee hee "sphincter test"

[blueeyedmanda]

Hee hee "sphincter test"

That makes me giggle too! Awww the funny things that you hear.

[Darn210]

Ahhh yes .. . . Phil Hartman?

1st thought is to "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy"

Here's the one that always comes to mind.

"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."

Found a site w/ a gazillion. Open Original Shared Link

Barely read 5% so far, but bumped into a couple gems before finding that site.

God's Tears

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.'

And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did."

ROFL

"I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long.

Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint."

Great Link!!

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.

I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you." So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.

I think a good way to get in a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant onto your buttocks and start yowling and running around. Everyone would think it was funny, and the head movie guy would say, "Hey, let's put him in the movie."

<hmmm, lots of movie talk lately> Hey!!! Wait a minute!!! Bev, is this how your bum got scratched up?? Were you auditioning for a movie??

[jerseyangel]

That makes me giggle too! Awww the funny things that you hear.

What I love about it is that we all know what each other is talking about

Quite refreshing!

[tom]

Alex!!!! Yay May 10th!!

OK Sillies . .. . .we have 14 wks from Saturday. PLENTY of time to round up floats & celebs.

Mulva!!! *snort*!!!!! & nearly spewing coffee .. . . .

Surely that lemon will be snatched up by the Yonic Citrus Museum.

LOL Bev!!!! Uncle Ray's done it again!

<phew> all caught up!!!

Now . .. . . .. .what to do today .. . .more sax practice for sure (loooooooong way to go there) .. . ..more groc shopping . . .. .more procrastinating on the remaining boxes from the move .. . . .

[DingoGirl]

Okay, Susie's in!! Are you as poor a downhiller as I am? (I am prepared to be very embarrassed...I'll be the only one who cannot go swooping rhythmically down these perilous hills). Think Bridget Jones....screaming her way down...

I can.......manage on skis. Skiing is not unlike my (former) tennis game: flashes of pure brilliance, and other moments, looked like I'd never played before in my life. I threw my last racket at age 27.........the skiing is a bit better, though, and I can at least FAKE that I know what I"m doing.

Sounds absolutely heavenly I'd love to come....can you imagine if the whole group of us decended on you

MADCAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zipper-y rat-a-tat ones

yes, quite amusing.....and w/ three brothers, it was all about torturing our long-suffering mom w/ our farts.....BTW we weren't allowed to SAY fart....had to call them gassers....

Gassers is a funny word

Patti claws her bum when her eyes itch?

but WHO.....or WHAT.....claws Bev's bum when Patti's eyes itch?

Oh dear GAWD!!!!!!!!!............COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!...... and y'all having a bowel complaint an' all ...pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!

6.33pm (guestimate) 15 or MORE

methinks that Nik is cOeliac in denial........

<yikes! a bit of a sphincter test at WhF and on the ride home. Surely not herculean, but quite a relief to be home nonetheless>

herculean sphincter test

I think a good way to get in a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant onto your buttocks and start yowling and running around. Everyone would think it was funny, and the head movie guy would say, "Hey, let's put him in the movie."

gahhhh! That's what I"ll do at the next casting call.

Which reminds me, hey Tom, please keep your eyes/ears open for ANY casting calls in San Jose area........I've got free lodging and have simply GOT to do one more important film for my career.

What I love about it is that we all know what each other is talking about

Quite refreshing!

and quite mad!!!!

OMG got my mammies squished........... helps to take the ibuprofen beforehand, FYI

see you sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

p.s.

three

[blueeyedmanda]

Shall we give the floats some fresh decorations, so Alex has a design all her own? I will start making phone calls.

Any celebrities we need? Want? Do not want?

:)

[elye]

Sounds absolutely heavenly I'd love to come....can you imagine if the whole group of us decended on you

OMG......a mad, wondrous time!!! This would be so fantastic. The hot tub fits ten....!!!

6.33pm (guestimate) 15 or MORE

Ok, ok, maybe the 'benfibRE' powder has had a hand in this

Well, now...an admission of a performance-enhancing substance. We'll have to take this to the Commissioner's Office for a ruling....

Never had one...but send my regards to your poor squished boobies

Mammograms are HEINOUS...What is most horrid about these tests, particularly the pap smear, is how my doctor chats away while inserting/squishing/adjusting the spotlight, asking all sorts of questions about the weather outside, much like we're standing in line at the bank.

<yikes! a bit of a sphincter test at WhF and on the ride home. Surely not herculean, but quite a relief to be home nonetheless>

Bah! Hate those sphincter tests....I never know what to study in preparation, and they are always marked unfairly, I feel.

1st thought is to "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy"

Fabulous stuff......

<hmmm, lots of movie talk lately> Hey!!! Wait a minute!!! Bev, is this how your bum got scratched up?? Were you auditioning for a movie??

Bev! Quick, check for quill marks!

Now . .. . . .. .what to do today .. . .more sax practice for sure (loooooooong way to go there) .. . ..more groc shopping . . .. .more procrastinating on the remaining boxes from the move .. . . .

...Sounds like yer mojo's peeking around the corner, Tom...or arrived, even!

[DingoGirl]

Shall we give the floats some fresh decorations, so Alex has a design all her own? I will start making phone calls.

Any celebrities we need? Want? Do not want?

:)

I'm on this......I'll call my agent................

I know for certain that I want Hugh Grant......but......then I was reminded about his.....cooties.........so I think I'll be changing my mind.

OMG you sillies - - the Madonna Lemon? <vagina lemon> Well, it didn't even SELL for 3.99....... You KNOW that they were thinking they were going to get THOUSANDS for the holy lemon...........

some of you may remember that carrot I pulled out of a bag - I photographed it - -it was ASTONISHING in its.........resemblance to.................. well, the MALE equivalent..... I should have sold THAT on ebay.

p.s.

deep thoughts:

hey - do you guys think we'd even BE this funny in real life, if we all hung out? OR would we have to type out our comments to each other, replete w/ smiley faces etc., to convey our humoUr?

:lol: :lol:

[elye]

I know for certain that I want Hugh Grant......but......then I was reminded about his.....cooties.........so I think I'll be changing my mind.

How 'bout Tony Bennett? Since the Greatest Singer of all Time, F. Sinatra, is no longer with us, Tony would do...for the romantic, wedding feel. He could belt out some standards....

hey - do you guys think we'd even BE this funny in real life, if we all hung out? OR would we have to type out our comments to each other, replete w/ smiley faces etc., to convey our humoUr?

Susie, I often find myself wondering this. Everyone who's coming to the Mt. Tremblant chalet, best to bring a laptop, and if we're sitting around the crackling fire or lounging in the hot tub, and the laughs just are not coming...well, we simply start typing, and passing our screens to whomever we're posting. If we practise ahead of time, I'm certain we can all make reasonable facsimiles of the emoticons with our own faces. I'll need to work on a few....Gad, dunno how close I can get to this one: Or this guy:

[jerseyangel]

OMG......a mad, wondrous time!!! This would be so fantastic. The hot tub fits ten....!!!

Think of all the energy that would be saved with all us Celiacs in there together Wouldn't even need to plug it in

hey - do you guys think we'd even BE this funny in real life, if we all hung out? OR would we have to type out our comments to each other, replete w/ smiley faces etc., to convey our humoUr?

:lol: :lol:

I've thought about this too. Maybe in person we'd sit there and look at each other like this

Na--I think the ice would be broken pretty quick