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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
Ah, Lisa.... ..... .the question is: where is the youtube clip of YOU and partner?

That would be right along with the Loch Ness Monster, aliens and Elvis. :lol::lol::lol:

I have air conditioning, but refuse to give in to turning it on just yet....and yes, it is sweltering here, too.

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curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Oh....wait.......here I am......

Edna and Sven are doing a good job, don'tcha think? :lol::lol::lol:

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Well, I do have AC and it is needed in a three-story structure with a flat roof. It is a bit cooler than it was yesterday morning, but by afternoon it will be hot and humid with more thunderstorms.

Open Original Shared Link The observations are taken at Buttonville Airport, 4 km due west of my home. I'm not near any flight path from there. The two runways intersect in an "X" shape, with vectors NNE and SSE.

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

All that swing has reminded me that I WILL learn to tango after this stupid IV is out...so sassy! I love this

Morning, all!

All right - - everybody who has this HEINOUS Amazon Jungle-like weather happening - - who of you has air conditioning? NO sympathy for you. Howevah, if you are like me, and dying in a hot house (at least we're in a bungalow... ...), well, we can sweat and commiserate together....:soakedpantingface:

BEV!!! Is that FINALLY Uncle Ray in your av???!! Fan-f*ckin-TAS-tic!! :D:D

Yes- sweltering in hell here- 104 today and 107 tomorrow- they've issued a heat cramp warning! WTH is HEAT CRAMP warning?

Yes- tis our very own Uncle ray. :D :D

He sends this:

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady

because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about

what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new

husband's occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she

wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three

husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all

those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face

and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first

married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a

circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when ;

in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked

why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two

for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'

Daxin Explorer
Daxin
Posted
He sends this:

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady

because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about

what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new

husband's occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she

wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three

husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all

those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face

and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first

married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a

circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when ;

in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked

why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two

for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'

ROFL :D :D :D

That's about all I can say.

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
ROFL :D :D :D

That's about all I can say.

:D Yay- we made you smile!!!!!!!!!! You have missed the Introduction to Uncle ray 101: he's my 76'ish year old uncle who forwards outrageously funny emails- he doesn't let his wife read them :lol: :lol:

Has everyone melted? I wish I was in bonny Scotland with Nikkeigh!!!!!!!!!!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Has everyone melted? I wish I was in bonny Scotland with Nikkeigh!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to remember where Nikki said she was staying in Scotland..... .. .Aberdeen area? If so, I wish I were there, too.. ... .

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

cold and rainy here.

Saw something I thought was amusing. A prison transport bus, completely with caged interior, with the destination sign on the front reading "EXPRESS". Not sure why I thought that was so hilarious.

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
OMG - this is so decadent - am sitting in living room, on couch, using kissey's laptop......luxurious and comfy but - don't like using these blasted things - got all me keys in the wrong place....... :blink: (Kissey has made my house wireless, somehow. But pleeze don't axe me how)

I do NOT know how you all are watchign the horse race.......I can hardly bring myself to do it at all, and will NEVER do it again, after that broken ankle in the last race..... :sadsadsadface: I just feel too sorry for the horses and worry that something bad will happen.........gahhhhhhh...................

Susie, I had the same difficulty when I first got my laptap, it was so .........foreign :huh: Took a long time to adjust to the keys and the whole set up. One year later, I can't imagine going back to my PC. I do think I make more typing/spelling errors though, I think the keys require a harder push or sumfin. I tap on them and sometimes it doesn't take.

And I feel the same about the horse race, can not watch after what happened with that poor horse :((

No real recipe, actually. Just take whatever ribs you like---beef, pork

When I fix pot roast, (I usually add water and bouillon, steak seasoning and/or garlic powder and pepper) once I take

Just got back from dancin' (west coast swing)...my all time favorite thing to do :D:D:D

More beef talk :blink:

Lisa, swing dancing sounds like SO much fun!!!! Yay for you :)

Years ago I wanted to learn how to country line dance, and ever since Dancing With The Stars has been on I've wanted to learn how to ballroom dance. I must DANCE!!!!

Ugh....This was one of the longest weeks I've had in some time...and I need to blow off some steam!

Ryan, hope you have recovered from your long stressful week.

Yes, the recitals are quite the production these days. My nieces do the same drill.

More heinousity here, having to do with what else???? Yep, water. I tell ya, it's something new every day :angry:

Oh NO Patti! :o

More visits from the plummer?

That would be right along with the Loch Ness Monster, aliens and Elvis. :lol::lol::lol:

:lol: Lisa

:lol: Uncle Ray

Bev!!! I love that movie Shall We Dance!

I probably shouldn't mention it's kind of cooler here :ph34r: I don't know what the deal is, usually we are right up there with you all with the sweltering heat.

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted

I missed saying bon voyage to Nikki. I want to go to bonnie Scotland!!!!!

We got up this morning and had a pleasant breakfast out on the deck.

Peter, your deck sounds like a LOVELY place, always having breakfasts and dinners out there. Do you take reservations?

Saw something I thought was amusing. A prison transport bus, completely with caged interior, with the destination sign on the front reading "EXPRESS". Not sure why I thought that was so hilarious.

That is funny Jess :lol:

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
Lisa, swing dancing sounds like SO much fun!!!! Yay for you :)

Years ago I wanted to learn how to country line dance, and ever since Dancing With The Stars has been on I've wanted to learn how to ballroom dance. I must DANCE!!!!

I've taken some ballroom dancing lessons, but doubt if I remember much of it :huh: The problem with a dance studio is that you have a group lesson, then you go home. You have to go back on a dance night to put it into practice...if you haven't already forgotten. And the place where hubby and I went, the other people seemed a bit snobby and not welcoming to new people. <_< Dance clubs usually have an hour of lessons and a few hours of dancing afterward.....and...people mingle more. Experienced dancers take you under their wing. :D....and it's cheap!

I can do a little salsa, night club 2-step and hustle. My favorite show is So You Think You Can Dance. :D AWESOME!!!!!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
I can do a little salsa, night club 2-step and hustle. My favorite show is So You Think You Can Dance. :D AWESOME!!!!!

I suddenly feel that I must decree the appaearance of a new avatar for you, Lisa...we wanna see a photo of you and DH in action! Er... .... .DANCING, I mean.... .. ........ :o;)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
I suddenly feel that I must decree the appaearance of a new avatar for you, Lisa...we wanna see a photo of you and DH in action! Er... .... .DANCING, I mean.... .. ........ :o;)

vertically...

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
I can do a little salsa, night club 2-step and hustle. My favorite show is So You Think You Can Dance. :D AWESOME!!!!!

Do a little salsa, make a little tequila, get down tonight!!!!!

vertically...

:lol: :lol: :lol:

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
I suddenly feel that I must decree the appaearance of a new avatar for you, Lisa...we wanna see a photo of you and DH in action! Er... .... .DANCING, I mean.... .. ........ :o;)

:o:P:rolleyes:

It may be a long wait, as there is no such photo at this time.......hmmmm......I'll have to see what I can do.....

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
Do a little salsa, make a little tequila, get down tonight!!!!!

Funny......that's not how I remember that song going....... :lol::lol::lol:

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
The problem with a dance studio is that you have a group lesson, then you go home. You have to go back on a dance night to put it into practice...if you haven't already forgotten. And the place where hubby and I went, the other people seemed a bit snobby and not welcoming to new people. <_< Dance clubs usually have an hour of lessons and a few hours of dancing afterward.....and...people mingle more. Experienced dancers take you under their wing. :D....and it's cheap!

Good to know Lisa, thanks :)

I haven't gotten into So You Think You Can Dance, surprisingly....I seem to watch almost every other show on TV :lol:

vertically...

:o

:ph34r:

:lol:

:D

The return of the totem of emotions!

Do a little salsa, make a little tequila, get down tonight!!!!!

Bev is loopy today!!!!! :lol::lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
The return of the totem of emotions!

Henceforth known as The Emotitotem... .. .

:rolleyes::lol:

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

I apologize for this in advance :lol:

Hello and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up; our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

Scotland??!! I missed givin' Knick a Bon Voyage too!

And may I say, I just love the new spelling of my name. :lol: Ptaum used to use one - what was it? Soup-czee? :lol:

Wow since when is Tzu-tse Miss MemoryGirl?

I didn't recall that at all, so did a lil search & then it made sense.

After 1st crowning, I used the word coup, which doesn't sound like soup, eh Soup-sie?

:lol:

Jess 1979!!!?? :o that's my HS grad yr :o

Any West-coast swingers dance to Lavay Smith & the Red-Hot Skillet Lickers?

:lol: Bev :lol:

I know I should've known better, but was sucked into thinking the interview was real. Way to go Uncle Ray . .. .. .again. :)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
Jess 1979!!!?? :o that's my HS grad yr :o

:lol: :lol: I knew I could con someone! :D

I type much younger than I am :rolleyes:

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
:lol: :lol: I knew I could con someone! :D

Oh sure - take advantage of my reluctance to exclaim "I thought you were older than THAT!"

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Jess 1979!!!?? :o that's my HS grad yr :o

...That's my first year in HS....feathered hair, leg warmers..... :lol:

OMG....and that infamous question fits in very well, here, and coincidentally, Jack asked me this yesterday, so I shall posit it to everyone:

Where did you find yourself when you heard Elvis had died?

It was a momentous day for me - - August 16, 1977......My mom and I went shopping together for my first bra. I was wearing it, amazed at how uncomfortable it felt and how everyone would be staring, when the news flashed on the TV screen. So funny how things become paired in our consciousness..... ..

Whenever I purchase a new brassierre, I think of Him...... :DB)

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Okay, everybody, make me feel old here. There are, as far as I know, only three of us over fifty, and only one older than me. I'm the oldest male here. Does that make me the Crown Prince of Silly Old Age? :huh:

Oh, wait, I used to be the king. I am not dead, but I am not the king anymore. I must be Open Original Shared Link :D:D

Oh, wait, he's dead too. :(

I guess I'm just me, that crazy old phart they call the oracle. Who knew? :rolleyes:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

PeOter!! You Old Phart.. ..do you even remember Elvis? :lol::P

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