The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Crystal Brown]

Hey woohoo things got pretty mathtastic yesterday!!

(I think both of those banks suck btw)

Hi Zella & Welcome!

(Yay for another in the Bay Area tho Solano's almost opposite from the South Bay)

Hi! Tom!

I have to get this out of my system..

"Yay Air-eeee-ah!!!"

K.. got the E-40 out of my system

Have to ask.. Have you been to Mariposa?

[tom]

Have to ask.. Have you been to Mariposa?

nah . ...too many things besides gluten that I can't have. GFCFSFSFSFTFVFYF etc etc - I just call it alphabet-free.

Have you?

[DingoGirl]

Have to ask.. Have you been to Mariposa?

<raising hand wildly>

I have!!! I have!!!!!! what do I get????? I LOVE Mariposa

[DingoGirl]

oh wait - did you mean Mariposa Bakery?

well guess what, I"ve been there too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

I did receive a message from one of the mods about my Oops moment.. all I have to say is, by now I should know PM means I did something wrong - again.. I feel like I should wear a leather jacket, slap on some black leggings and call myself a Pink Lady.

Man, Zella.....you absolutely belong here. You have no idea. . . . . ..... ..

I hope all the maths talk is over fer now.....is it safe to come out? Me pea brain and all.....got so much going on now that any complicated figurin' might just make me 'ead explode

Patteigh! I've been thinking about you in these hectic times....... .. how are you faring? It's what, three weeks until the big move??

Let's assign variables, shall we . . .

X = the current amount of pressure in PatTee's 'ead

Y = the pressure at which PatTee's 'ead explodes

Z = the rate at which pressure increases when mathS is discussed

How long till PatTee loses her 'head?

See . . . algebra is used EVERYWHERE!!!

Dear gawd, it's everywhere. . . . ..

X = percentage of men with in-pants northerly tendencies

Y = number of times a day I reflect on how much I detest mathS

Z = number of shots taken of Angelina Jolie's face during the award presentation given by Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black

And the final, culminating question to be answered from all of these variables?

Who in hell knows?? IT'S MATHS!! NONE OF IT EVER MAKES SENSE!!

Janet wizzes!!

I think Sop0hie used this word first last night....I was going to tell her that it is spelled "whiz" and to correct it, but then realized I may be wrong. Is whiz (brainiac) spelled the same way as whiz or wizz (urinate)?

Hmmmm...sumfin' to ponder. . . . . . ..

Ahhhh Fluid Dynamics . .. . I remember that as a course that sent some would-be engineers back to the catalogue to choose some Bachelor of Arts major

Yep, and they met me in the lineup, scurrying away from the deeply introspective fine arts department. . . . . ..

Heck, the boys can wiz and write at the same time.

They can write WITH their wizz. . . ... ....their names, an' stuff. . . . . ...

Simultaneous mathing and wizzing . . . OK, somebody give me a problem and I'll head to the head.

Okay:

If it takes three men twenty-four hours to dig a hole ten feet wide by eight feet deep in soil that is 4% water, how long would it take a blind monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a grapefruit?

My dad asked me this one. . . .. . . ..

[Crystal Brown]

nah . ...too many things besides gluten that I can't have. GFCFSFSFSFTFVFYF etc etc - I just call it alphabet-free.

Have you?

Alphabet free -

Hold on.. I have to figure this out.. No fair adding letters that aren't real abbreviations!

Okay so:

Gluten-Free

Casein-Free

Sugar-Free

Sulfate-Free

Salt-Free

Vegan-Friendly

Yeast-Free

How'd I do?

And yes, I've been to Mariposa Baking and as much as I lurve them, I would steer clear if you are casein-free. I know they have some stuff without casein, but not sure if it is on a dedicated line or not. Oh and if you're sensitive to sugar, nicht gut either..

[Jestgar]

Alphabet free -

Hold on.. I have to figure this out.. No fair adding letters that aren't real abbreviations!

Okay so:

Gluten-Free

Casein-Free

Sugar-Free

Sulfate-Free

Salt-Free

Vegan-Friendly

Yeast-Free

How'd I do?

And yes, I've been to Mariposa Baking and as much as I lurve them, I would steer clear if you are casein-free. I know they have some stuff without casein, but not sure if it is on a dedicated line or not. Oh and if you're sensitive to sugar, nicht gut either..

Yeti-free. Tom does not consume yeti.

[Crystal Brown]

oh wait - did you mean Mariposa Bakery?

well guess what, I"ve been there too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOLZ!!! Le prize for today is....... A cool happy face with sunglasses! ---->

I'm really impatiently waiting for my latest order.. Plain bagels, pizza crust and a dark chocolate truffle brownie ::le sigh and pass out::

I just wanted to share with all you sillies what just happened to me..

K, so the dishwasher just stopped running - hot cycle, clean dishes, Yay! So, I went to get me a fork.. I'm holding my plate of Van's Waffles is one hand and opening the dishwasher door with the other.. Welllll, I wear glasses and guess what.. That silly steam blew up fogged up my glasses, had to do the feel test for the fork, stabbed myself with a knife (no blood drawn) and then ALMOST dropped my Van's on the floor. This is why I think windshield wipers on glasses, no matter HOW tacky, should be a requirement.

The End =)

PS. I'm having a font crisis, so if my fonts and sizes keep changing, it's just because I have font ADHD.

[Crystal Brown]

Yeti-free. Tom does not consume yeti.

I heard Yeti is really bad for your teeth.

Gee, here I thought it was Yoda-Free.

But why would anyone wanna be free of Yoda?

[elye]

The bolded NO was in response to the purported unanimity of the North Pole, Mrs. Claus. (Maybe Em has the gall to Gallup to the mall for a North Poll?)

It's possible I'm mistaken, but I believe a high majority can provide a literal answer to the query "how's it hangin' d00d?"

OMG.....this whole punny quote.. . . ..

Well! I have something of a retraction to report (oh, gawd, no pun intended)! ....DH was just sitting here on the couch, and he suddenly exclaimed, "Oh.....oh...hey! Just realized something, here....when I've got my loose jeans on, things are, uh, not always north". So there you are. It all depends on the space afforded, or I suppose on how well things are filled out. . . .

[tom]

How'd I do?

Pretty well!!

Except soy, sweeteners, vinegar.

Try a non-casein CF & a PF!! . . . Annnnnd . .. hmmm LF? BF?

[elye]

I heard Yeti is really bad for your teeth.

Zella! You need to read about the antics of our yeti, starting at around, what, page 200? Maybe bad fer your teeth, but he is GREAT fer snow shovelling. . . .. ..

[flourgirl]

Let's assign variables, shall we . . .

X = the current amount of pressure in PatTee's 'ead

Y = the pressure at which PatTee's 'ead explodes

Z = the rate at which pressure increases when mathS is discussed

How long till PatTee loses her 'head?

See . . . algebra is used EVERYWHERE!!!

x 100! By Jove JGiannet, you're RIGHT!

[flourgirl]

Whew! Okay,,,,,,I'm caught up again. You'se guys really get me chukling!

Emalie......LUUUV your Ave. Nothing like a sweet li'l babe with a BIG MAD on!!!!

So....TikleTaaawwwm......what eggzakly DO you eat? Seems to me there's nuthin left! Perhaps you were secretly born of someone who was picked up by aliens and impregnated during the experiments. You get sickly from eating ANY phood because you aren't meant to!?! <:snikleface:> I'm not trying to be mean but Geez Louise.

[flourgirl]

Hey Pink Zello! Seems to me you fit right in with this crowd.

[curlyfries]

I'll bet...as always......by the time I read and post, all y'all will have vamoosed!

.....is.......that........a.............bad..............habit?

Heavens no!!! .......they are as important as emoticons .......they support the vital need of being properly understood!

Did someone say breast augmentation? My cousin had one of them.. About two years later she was diagnosed with Familial Polyposis and lost a bunch of weight.. Wellllll, my Mom, the tactful bird that she is, asked my cousin: "So, did your boobies lose weight too? Or are they still up and doing their thing??" After all the laughter and cantaloupe jokes subsided, we did find out that they fared very well and hadn't lost a pound. Moral of the story - there isn't one. Just that if your weight fluctuates, your tiggo-bities should stay the same size post augmentation. <-- Uh oh, I hope that wasn't too crude of a story... I'll be waiting in my inbox for a PM..

Nice meetin' ya'll.. I wonder why I have a Southern drawl, when I was born in California? Hmmm...

Hi Zella!

I shoulda had me some of those before I lost the weight..........then I wouldn't be in my current predicament

I think we all have a bit of the southern drawl, here.........quite amusing on our Canook psillies! ..........Y'all know what I mean, eh?

Alphabet free -

Oh and if you're sensitive to sugar, nicht gut either..

Zella said 'nicht gut'!..........Ausgezeichnet (excellent!)!

Can't believe Zella's the one that brings Ptaughmn out of his occassional one post poop-in marathon!.....well.....that and the north/south debate...........which, by the way, I'm sure me hubby would disagree. Perhaps it is also a generational difference?

[tom]

Perhaps it is also a generational difference?

:huh: what generation do ya think I AM??

[curlyfries]

:huh: what generation do ya think I AM??

Yeah....OK....I realised afterwards that you're probably somewhere close to mine and hubby's age.......still.........it's curious the extreme differences of opinion on this subject.

So........not to get too personal or nuttin.......but..........in the 70's.........when the style was to have cut-off shorts so short that yer pockets hang out.......and all jeans in general were pretty tight.......

.....ummmm........was there a majority of northerners during that time?.......

[elye]

.....ummmm........was there a majority of northerners during that time?.......

Well, one would certainly remember the guys who weren't . . . ...

[curlyfries]

Pretty well!!

Except soy, sweeteners, vinegar.

Try a non-casein CF & a PF!! . . . Annnnnd . .. hmmm LF? BF?

...chocolate free.....pickle free...........lint free......booze free????

......check free.......parking free........live free.........be free??????

[curlyfries]

Well, one would certainly remember the guys who weren't. . . ...

Ah, yes......and I do .......the peek-a-boo syndrome! .....Those were usually the guys who were going without support.....whitey titeys or otherwise!

[elye]

DH just walked past the doorway on his way into the kitchen, in his boxers. He quietly said, "southwesterly".. ... ...

[Jestgar]

DH just walked past the doorway on his way into the kitchen, in his boxers. He quietly said, "southwesterly".. ... ...

Don't believe him M!!

go check...

[jerseyangel]

Don't believe him M!!

go check...

....and report back to us

[DingoGirl]

Man, Zella.....you absolutely belong here. You have no idea. . . . . ..... ..

I know, it's scary, ain't it?

Z = number of shots taken of Angelina Jolie's face during the award presentation given by Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black

TWO!!!!!!!!! exactly TWO, and you just KNOW they were fighting.and.fighting.to.NOT.KEEP.THE.CAMERA.ON.THEM THE WHOLE TIME :lol:

Yeti-free. Tom does not consume yeti.

But didn't he house him for a while?

K, so the dishwasher just stopped running - hot cycle, clean dishes, Yay! So, I went to get me a fork.. I'm holding my plate of Van's Waffles is one hand and opening the dishwasher door with the other.. Welllll, I wear glasses and guess what.. That silly steam blew up fogged up my glasses, had to do the feel test for the fork, stabbed myself with a knife (no blood drawn) and then ALMOST dropped my Van's on the floor. This is why I think windshield wipers on glasses, no matter HOW tacky, should be a requirement.

:lol: this is a VERY silly-esque thing to happen. But pseriously, Pink Zella, wait until the de-fogging occurs next time, I think stabbing is less likely

Well! I have something of a retraction to report (oh, gawd, no pun intended)! ....DH was just sitting here on the couch, and he suddenly exclaimed, "Oh.....oh...hey! Just realized something, here....when I've got my loose jeans on, things are, uh, not always north". So there you are. It all depends on the space afforded, or I suppose on how well things are filled out. . . .

OMG - love how our astute and RIVETING conversations filter into Real Life all the time

Zella! You need to read about the antics of our yeti, starting at around, what, page 200? Maybe bad fer your teeth, but he is GREAT fer snow shovelling. . . .. ..

and snuggling!

So........not to get too personal or nuttin.......but..........in the 70's.........when the style was to have cut-off shorts so short that yer pockets hang out.......and all jeans in general were pretty tight.......

...

OMG I knew a guy in Monterey who was about 35 - that over-tanning British naval officer.......he was QUITE PROUD to be still wearing his rugby shorts from college

I TOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD him to retire those - was quite disgusting - - and the kangaroo scrotal sacs were in fact visible!!!!!!! gah - ew

...chocolate free.....pickle free...........lint free......booze free????

......check free.......parking free........live free.........be free??????

*snackle*

DH just walked past the doorway on his way into the kitchen, in his boxers. He quietly said, "southwesterly".. ... ...

:lol:

must watch Oscar fashion recap now on ET

it's confirmed - I have no life