The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

We went to a community meeting this evening about "traffic calming" measures in our neighboUrhood. The town made major changes to our road, and one that intersects it, a year ago. The local councilor claims there was public consultation and surveys were conducted prior to the work being done. We have lived on this street for more than twenty years, and I read the local paper, and I read mailings from the town. The first I knew of this was when the 'Choke Points' were constructed. Apparently, AFTER the construction, a survey showed that 85 per cent of residents opposed what was done (include us in that 85%). Almost nobody at the meeting was satisfied with what the town did. But the town doesn't want to undo it because that would cost the same amount of money that they wasted doing it in the first place, leaving them where they started physically but minus $1,500,000 (estimate).

:o

Are you living on this island, only five years ago???

That is exactly what happened here! If you are on this island, just stick it out a bit, they're gonna take the "calming enhancements" away.

Let me know when they start talking about the roundabout.

[elye]

. . . because when she watches herself in the mirror when she says "BOO-ger", she is not at all pleased with how it looks . . .

Jyaghnutt, you are correct. Actually, pronouncung it as BUH-gur looks considerably better. may have to think on this. . . . . .....

NIK!! You have phab pheet! great toe ring.....wish I could wear these, as I love 'em, but they always bug me.... . . ...

[ranger]

You guys have gots to no buy now that I'm "metally challenged" and can't possibly respond to so much stuff! God, all I did was sleep. Except for this one.

Em-bolism! You snuck into my crock-pot query. That really crocked me up! Not only out of contest, but totally unexpected in that place. Here's the reciept.

1. Cut the erasor tips off yer pencils till you have 1 lb. Add to pot.

2. Snip off the bristles off 2 #10 brushes. Add to pot.

4. Add 2 small tubes of Burnt Umber, a 1/2 lb. of linseed oil, and toss. Cook on low for 6 hrs.

5. Remove lid. Add 1/2 bottle of dry, red turpentine and all the snot you have collected all day.

6. Cook on highfor 2 more hrs. And you have that classic French dish-

ERASOR TIPS BOOGERNION!

OR

1. Draw a white on white pitcher of Pautine. Add to pot and cook for 8 hours on low. And you have-

A HOUSE ON FIRE!

[elye]

1. Cut the erasor tips off yer pencils till you have 1 lb. Add to pot.

2. Snip off the bristles off 2 #10 brushes. Add to pot.

4. Add 2 small tubes of Burnt Umber, a 1/2 lb. of linseed oil, and toss. Cook on low for 6 hrs.

5. Remove lid. Add 1/2 bottle of dry, red turpentine and all the snot you have collected all day.

6. Cook on highfor 2 more hrs. And you have that classic French dish-

ERASOR TIPS BOOGERNION!

Gah! Um, I think I prefer the lingering taste and aroma of Raw Sienna to Burnt Umber.....it's lighter, has a more ethnic aftertaste. . . .....

Dear gawd.....all the snot I have collected through the day. . . .....

[Mtndog]

Oh my GAWD.......I had to post this before catching up. Kurt just sent it to me and all the did was *bleep* out the word "count"

:lol: :lol:

I don't think he *bleep* poutine.

[elye]

GAAAHHH! That is soOooOoo *bleeepin'* funny!!

[Jestgar]

:lol:

I *bleep* slowly......slowly.....slowly getting faster....

[Mtndog]

Faster faster it is so exciting I could *bleep* forever

I *bleep* spiders on the wall; I *bleep* the cobwebs in the hall

I *bleep* the candles on the shelf

When I'm alone I *bleep* myself :lol: :lol:

[nikki-uk]

When I'm alone I *bleep* myself :lol: :lol:

GAHHHH!!!!!!!

Excellente Miss B

EM, I think Gus is looking at yer feet & thinking 'Mmmm, some gravy & cheese on those would be very tasty'

Yer feets are fine (albeit wiv broken bones! )... at least your toes are straight!!!!!! (Mine are horribly bent and mishapen, me Mum swears it was 'cos I were breech )

[Jestgar]

(Mine are horribly bent and mishapen, me Mum swears it was 'cos I were breech )

Beeeeecuz...they pulled you out by yer toes.....?

[Jestgar]

Bugger those veggies: Open Original Shared Link

[nikki-uk]

Beeeeecuz...they pulled you out by yer toes.....?

No, I was bum phirst! ..... dunno

Bugger those veggies: Open Original Shared Link

'Xactly - lets do Poutine & be damned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

EM, I think Gus is looking at yer feet & thinking 'Mmmm, some gravy & cheese on those would be very tasty'

Yep, he just kinda wandered into the frame as I was getting ready to snap a pic of me feet. Then he stopped, stood and closed his eyes. Probably dinna want to be lookin' at my travesty-ridden, second-toe-longer-than-first feet....

Wow, Gertrude ROCKS! 115, and eats bacon and ice cream daily. Quite do-able.

But, no alcohol.

Forget it.

[Mtndog]

Don't drink, don't smoke, what do ya do?

EAT FRIED CHICKEN, CRISPY BACON and I SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!! She rocks- ever notice anyone that lives over 100 eats fried chicken, drinks whiskey or sumphin else phun! ROCK ON!

The pheet pictures are killing me! Me feets are actually one of my best features (figures- covered in socks and shoes 9 months out of 12).

We take feet photos anytime we travel!

[jerseyangel]

Mark just emailed me the story of the oldest lady who ate bacon, phried chicken, and ice cream.

<----------me pheet

[nikki-uk]

Mark just emailed me the story of the oldest lady who ate bacon, phried chicken, and ice cream.

<----------me pheet

HOLY CRAP!!!

PadT's feet are HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEV!!!!!!!!!

Show us your feet baby!!!!!

...Off to bed with Edward me Twilight book

...damn those purty feet

[JNBunnie1]

HOLY CRAP!!!

PadT's feet are HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEV!!!!!!!!!

Show us your feet baby!!!!!

...Off to bed with Edward me Twilight book

...damn those purty feet

I'll get a pic of my feet up shortly, I bet you I'll win, theyre quite lovely. And no fair hiding them in sandals Patee!!!! This should be a naked feet contest!!

[celiac-mommy]

HOLY CRAP!!!

PadT's feet are HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree!! You shood have neked tootsies ALLL the thyme!! No way anyone's gonna glimpse mine. Me gal pal yesterday said "what the hell happened to yer feet?! Looks like they headed thru a meat grinder

...Off to bed with Edward me Twilight book

This, my dear, sounds FABULOUS!!!! My hubby does NOT like Edward and he's NOT allowed in our bed any more! Damn....

[elye]

Patteigh, you've got the most gorgeous feet I've ever seen. Quite standout....I think I noticed this in Philly, when you had them wrapped up in Birks. I remember thinking, "Man, if they look this great in Birkenstocks, imagine how they'd be in kicky li'l sandals or stilettos??"

All right, all! Show us yer feet! POeter, we've seen yer balls -- time to take your SHOES off . .. . . . . ....

[jerseyangel]

no fair hiding them in sandals Patee!!!! This should be a naked feet contest!!

I took a couple naked pheet pics, but they looked so.....naked !!!!!

They wouldn't win no beauty contest, I'll tell ya that

[ranger]

Nice pheet all, but not as nice as mine. Mine are so nice that I could be footmodel. Of couse, I would have to wear oven-mitts on them to protect them from bastages like you guys who would like to cut them off to make high gelatinous soup out of them. . Perfect pheet, jelous bastages. I am not allowed, by law, to show my feet in public for the feer that hairless childs would become so morose that they would slay there parents for the lack of proper gynichological and genentech misinformation. Not to mention the crazed serial rapist would become insane at the site of my almost phalic phalanges.

Is it a matter of the manner of birth? It could be. I was born to a cult of future Wal-Mart employees in Omaha, Neb. They did home births, and reached up and pulled the child out by the head withe price guns, I was 50% off. Needless to say, this totally deformed my head, but my feet were f*ing PERFECT!

Did you notice that the 115 year old woman was born on April 6? My B-day is........April 6!

And, I look something like her, only not as bacony.

I wanted to grow old stately and dignifried. Like Peoetra Von Slayob%$@#. He always just has a cool way of being so amusing. I have to stand on my newly deformed head, do backtracks, and eat phire.

If you want mo info on the cult, contact Father Flanagan at Boys Town in Omaha, Nb.

Love ya all, but hate your pheat,

Sylvia Sleezen Plathovich.

[ranger]

My sister lives in Broolkyn and witnessed the events.

My cousin does x-rated cross-stitch.

Anybody else got a wierd family member?

Alabama Susan Slammer.

[elye]

I am always spent, and utterly pharking speechless, after one of Slewzitzka's stream-of-consciousness posts.

Okay, Slew - -you have got to put up an av of yer pheet. I must see these phallic phallanges.

And what a coincidence....I just knew, I could just feel, that you greatly resemble 115 year-old Gertrude. Oddly enough, she was a member of the Longest-Serving Walmart Greeter Association. She may well have presided over your birth, with her B.U.M. Equipment forceps.

[celiac-mommy]

She may well have presided over your birth, with her B.U.M. Equipment forceps.

GAHHH

Picturing a sweatshirt I had, think it was hypercolor too!

[ranger]

Emcomatose..........It is so upsettin to me to think that Gertrude could be my motha. I was told my Mofo was white and that her name was Betty. And, I am very white - blonde hair (turnig grey) and blue eyes. But, maybe I was ripped out of the womb of Gertrude by that Omaha cult and they died my skin and put permanent blue contacts in my eyes!

But, I can for sure dance with the most espungent feet on the phace of the earth! Which, proves to me, that I am the daughter of a 100 and 15 year old black woman. I am so proud! I've always got teary-eyed over the song " We Shall Overcome".

My Sylvia Plath thung is gone:

I am now Mia Angelou